Movie remakes, past, present and future...

[Caruthers612]

        This thread is for discussing past, present and upcoming movie remakes, and whether you liked them as much or more than the original, or indeed thought they were steaming piles. I'll kick it off.


        1) Total Recall... I was looking forward to this since I dug the original and love Colin Farrell. It also featured two of the most beautiful women in the movies, Kate Beckinsale and Jessica Biel. Despite this and a big budget, it turned out to be a dull shoot-em-up and a wasted opportunity.


        2) Highlander... Word has it the upcoming remake is going to feature Ryan Reynolds in the role of Connor MacLeod made famous by Christopher Lambert in the original. When I heard this I wanted to hurl, then kill, then kill yet again. In my mind, as a long-time devotee of both the movies and the TV series, and I mean devotee, I had been thinking the original movie was due for a remake and had been mapping the whole thing out. Then I found that they were in fact remaking it, and initially got excited, until I read who'd been cast in the lead role and realized the remake would be pure 'tard. I shouldn't have wished for a remake, in hindsight; I should have realized that were my beloved and cherished Highlander made today, it would be sanitized, politically corrected, and dumbed down for today's post-literate, post-frontal lobe audience. <sigh> Ah, well, another wasted opportunity... Maybe when they remake it again in another twenty years they'll get it right.

[stevesh]

I thought True Grit was at least as good as the original. If we can include movies based on TV shows, Miami Vice sucked.

[Sardondi]

...2) Highlander... Word has it the upcoming remake is going to feature Ryan Reynolds in the role of Connor MacLeod made famous by Christopher Lambert in the original. When I heard this I wanted to hurl, then kill, then kill yet again. In my mind, as a long-time devotee of both the movies and the TV series, and I mean devotee, I had been thinking the original movie was due for a remake and had been mapping the whole thing out. Then I found that they were in fact remaking it, and initially got excited, until I read who'd been cast in the lead role and realized the remake would be pure 'tard. I shouldn't have wished for a remake, in hindsight; I should have realized that were my beloved and cherished Highlander made today, it would be sanitized, politically corrected, and dumbed down for today's post-literate, post-frontal lobe audience. <sigh> Ah, well, another wasted opportunity... Maybe when they remake it again in another twenty years they'll get it right.

I'm all for a remake, but because I think the original is so wretched. It's a not-bad plot, with some excellent supporting actors, but mortifyingly bad casting for the lead: the Frenchman Christopher Lambert, with such rudimentary English skills that he can barely be understood saying, "Good morning". And on top of that he's playing a Scot. They should have opted for a Glenn Close-for-Andie MacDowell voiceover like in Greystoke, another movie with Lambert, and also another horrifically bad diction problem. But, hey, it's for Americans, and we're so stupid who will care, eh? Well apparently the movie moguls were right because no one did care. Except me of course. Get Sean Connery to reprise his role if you've got an extra â,¬10 million; get Brian Blessed as Ramirez if you don't. And keep Clancy Brown. Oh, and lose the cheesy Queen music....and don't replace it.

[stevesh]

Heresy, i know, but I thought the Pierce Brosnan/Rene Russo remake of The Thomas Crown Affair was better than the Steve McQueen/Faye Dunaway original.

[PhantasticSanShiSan]

     Fuck remakes in general. A 1 in 20 payoff rate isn't enough justification for this trend to continue, especially seeing as they are remaking films from eras where no remake is necessary (The Roomate - "based" on a book which was was a direct ripoff of SWF - yeah, like we needed that remake, or even the original).  Special effects abilities may have advanced in 20-30 years but, generally speaking, storytelling and acting have regressed.

     They aren't going to make an artistically superior remake of Highlander.  They can't.  They couldn't recreate the 80's cheese essence (which MADE that fucking movie) to save their lives.  They are just gonna take the general story and turn it into a "more realistic : " bloodbath of a film.  Ryan Reynolds?  Ryan fucking Reynolds?  What's next?  The are gonna do a remake of Top Gun?  They need to get stuffed with that bullshit.

     Leave well enough alone for the love of Pete.  Go out and hire some decent talent to come up with fresh ideas instead of brutalizing the classics.

[Agent : Orange]

     Leave well enough alone for the love of Pete.  Go out and hire some decent talent to come up with fresh ideas instead of brutalizing the classics.

Yes. This.

[Tinfoil Hat]

These remakes bug the crap out of me too. I think it all comes down to studios trying to make what they perceive as safe bets. This might be why when something different like Lincoln comes out it gets so much press.

[Caruthers612]

They aren't going to make an artistically superior remake of Highlander.  They can't.  They couldn't recreate the 80's cheese essence (which MADE that fucking movie) to save their lives.  They are just gonna take the general story and turn it into a "more realistic : " bloodbath of a film.  Ryan Reynolds?  Ryan fucking Reynolds?

        <sigh of victory> At last, someone who agrees with me about that gay blade. You might as well cast Steve Buscemi, the clusterfuck effect would be the same. I was lucky enough to see Queen that summer in Ireland, touring on the Highlander soundtrack album. A Kind of Magic was a huge hit over there, on the radio all the time, and I saw them outdoors on the grounds of an ancient castle. Truly magical, all the more so because of the poignance now of having seen Freddie.

[Juan]

The suits in the studios, and I include producers, noory up by creating noorys.  (Or is it noories?)  I call it hip-hop movie making, where everything is "sampled" from another movie.  I realized it when a friend drug me to see the Charlie's Angels remake (may have been the second one).  I thought it had a chance of being moderately decent, as the general plot - three hot women go out and fight bad guys - has lots of permutations.  Instead, many scenes were simply take offs on famous scenes from other movies.  At the end of a few, there was even a pause in the action for the audience to realize when it had seen.  It was like watching a Simpsons episode, except not as good.


Noory remakes.  They're noorys.

[Sardondi]

...You might as well cast Steve Buscemi, the clusterfuck effect would be the same....

Yikes! I know that his name in the cast list is a virtual guarantee of at least one interesting performance. But I can't help but imagine that his medicine cabinet contains thyroid pills, worming treatments and testosterone gel. Wow, he'd give Danny Devito competition for homeliest leading man ever. But he uses that cologne that makes women swoon with lust: eau d' dollar.

Speaking of homely and Freddie Mercury, why did Fred never do something about that gargantuan, equine overbite? It's like the tarantula Aaron Neville allows to live on his eyelid: really distracting. 

[MV/Liberace!]

I think it all comes down to studios trying to make what they perceive as safe bets.

that's exactly it.

[ItsOver]

Speaking of homely and Freddie Mercury, why did Fred never do something about that gargantuan, equine overbite? It's like the tarantula Aaron Neville allows to live on his eyelid: really distracting.

Hahahaha.... I was just watching a Queen concert in Montreal on the tube and it's hard not to be distracted by Freddie and his orthodontic challenge.  He's so damn good doing the show, with his singing and playing the stage, I let it pass.   

[b_dubb]

greatest american hero - reboot.  it has to be done.  but it has to be done RIGHT

[Eddie Coyle]

greatest american hero - reboot.  it has to be done.  but it has to be done RIGHT

Believe it or not, everybody from the original cast is waiting by the phone...and have been since 1983. Except Robert Culp, who's unavailable for filming.

[Foodlion]

It's my understanding they are going to remake The Never Ending Story. I'm excited to hear that.

[Rachael Nexusei]

It's my understanding they are going to remake The Never Ending Story. I'm excited to hear that.

Me too! I love fantasy movies like 'Legend' (the only movie in which I tolerate Tom Cruise. And I liked Lili's black dress...), 'Willow', 'Labryith'...David Bowie *sigh* :-)

"Rockbiter: They look like big, good, strong hands. Don't they? I always thought that's what they were. My little friends. The little man with his racing snail, the Nighthob, even the stupid bat. I couldn't hold on to them. The nothing pulled them right out of my hands. I failed.
Atreyu: No you didn't fail. I'm the one who was chosen to stop the nothing. But I lost the Auryn, I can't find my luck dragon, so I won't be able to get past the boundaries of Fantasia.
Rockbiter: Listen, the nothing will be here any minute. I will just sit here and let it take me away too. They look like big, good, strong hands. Don't they?"

[Silphion]