George Noory Sucks! - The Definitive Compendium

[ItsOver]

Wait!

I thought this was a joke. Is this real, or are you gonna make me download the show to hear it myself?

If only.  You can't make this stuff up.  Download at your own risk.  Just reading it at the C2C website is painful enough.

[ItsOver]

Noory was trying to be "cute"?   :


Looks more like Noory's the Anti-Christ. 

He's certainly "The Anti-Art."

[Sardondi]

...Imagine if Noory had followed his father's wishes for him to become a dentist...

(PShop courtesy of coaster from original photo posted by MV
@ "George Noory - in pursuit of the trivial" thread)

Well, for one thing, I fear many of his patients would wake from oral surgery to find strange black hairs in their teeth...

Noory again played one of his favorite Frank Sinatra tunes tonight - thats obviously his true taste in music not any kind of rock....

I think you're right, although I have to admit I have a soft spot in my heart for Sir Francis too. But then my rock preference is Led Zep, which I picture George making "that hurts my ears" grimaces about. The difference is the Zep I've known since I was 15, but The Chairman of the Board only after I was stodgy enough myself to appreciate him.

[Tara]

Noory:  Well, you know when they detonated the the first atomic bomb, Oppenheimer basically said, "This isn't the first time this happened."

Not.  Even.  Fucking.  Close.

By his own admission, Robert Oppenheimer thought of the ancient Hindu scriptures, the Bhagavad Gita:  "I am become death, the destroyer of worlds."  That's fairly common knowledge, Nooron, not your stupid made-up on the spot quote.   

[Lovely Bones]

I want to hear a guest who throws out quotes from "Willy Wonka & the Chocolate Factory" at Georgie Porgy.

I know you don't believe in coincidences, do you Ms. Jasmine?

Last night I was listening to a download of an old Ian show.  In the pre-show warm up chatter/news section, Ian read a short news piece where someone from a chocolate producing country predicted a coming worldwide shortage of chocolate (I think this was a 2008 or '09 show, so I breathe a sigh of relief that said shortage has not yet occurred).

At any rate, Ian must share my extreme love of chocolate.  His brief commentary on the piece centered on how--despite his general agreement with the principle that to deal with a coming oil shortage, the U.S. should seek ways to reduce reliance on foreign oil--if there was going to be a coming chocolate shortage, he'd be the first one signing up to invade foreign countries to go after their chocolate supplies.

Then he made some Wonka joke, which I realize now I don't remember, and which was the whole point of making this post.

Oh well.  Sorry. That fell flat. 

[Lovely Bones]

Tonight George will also have a special line for people whose pets were spooked by fireworks, ran away, and never came back

Was this serious, PB?  Where Noory's concerned, I can't tell--he's so fixated on dead/injured pets and kids, it makes sense he'd do this subject but focus on the pets who never came back rather than on HOW TO PREVENT PETS BEING SPOOKED BY FIREWORKS IN THE FIRST PLACE.

Asshole. 

[Lovely Bones]

[snip]
We've also seen George's apparent fascination with and his dwelling on death, maiming and torture, particularly of children. We've commented on his repeated gaffes in (we hope) unintentionally making boorish, insensitive, insulting and/or cruel remarks about personal tragedies. He doesn't seem to have a basic understanding of how the average person feels in a given situation, which is what seems to lead him into many of these errors. Again, a socialization problem, perhaps an emotional deficit.

[snip]


So adding possible cultural insularity to the mix we already had, I think it's possible George might have been learning disabled; [snip] All in all George is a very odd duck who doesn't seem to "get" people.   

Yes, it's unconscionable of us to act like armchair psychologists and make a diagnosis about George from afar in a field completely outside our areas of expertise

I'll briefly flirt with armchair psychology with you, Sardoni, based on dealing with so many students over the years with various LD's and other issues that impeded their ability to function as well as they might. 

I might suggest a combination of a) some form of learning disability combined with b) undiagnosed autistic spectrum disorder problem combined with c) moderate to lower IQ--all of which made school a struggle but not an insurmountable challenge for Noory.  He probably got through college with C's and D's, maybe the occasional B in something like broadcasting, where his voice helped him gain points. 

His inability to make simple connections sometimes reminds me of an LD student I had once--very sweet, but hampered not only by his LD but also by low IQ.  I had him in a remedial course, and because of the nature of students in that class, I would start every session by writing the homework for the next session on the board, calling attention to it, and making sure everyone knew what was expected.

After midterm reports went out and this kid was not achieving, his LD counselor must have urged him to consult with me further on things he could do to improve.  One of his weak grade areas was failure to turn in work.  So he comes up to me after class one day and asks how he could find out what work was due for each class.  Lucky for him, I was well trained to be patient with LD kids and carefully re-explained to him that each day I wrote the assignment for the next class on the board, etc., etc. 

Well, he was dumbfounded!  What a revelation!  It had never occurred to him to connect what I was writing on the board with a task he needed to complete for the next class! 

Somehow Noory's failures to connect remind me of that guy (except Noory lacks his essential sweetness).  A guest will make a point abundantly clear, sometimes multiple times, and Noory will turn around within minutes, sometimes seconds, and ask the guest what the guest has just said.  We've all heard him do that so often, it's clear something does not compute in Noory's brain. 

The inability to understand emotional tonality might just be something from the autism spectrum.  "Normal" people understand how others are going to react to stories of dead and injured babies and animals.  Noory doesn't seem to connect with the emotions of others or to understand how his words will impact others.  I'm sure when he was cozying up to the pedophile, he had no clue how his listeners would perceive that.  When he cuts off people telling stories of their child who just committed suicide or their recently deceased spouse with, "Must be angels! Time for a commercial!  Stock up on e-foods direct, now!" he has no sense of how that sounds to the general audience much less how it impacts the caller.  (PB can say what he wants about Ian, but no one handles callers in emotional distress better than Ian does--it's the pastoral counselor in him.  Noory lacks that entirely.)  Even his "We're here for you on holidays" comes across with two wholly negative messages: a) it's all about Noory's ego (he's such a great guy for doing this) and b) his audience is so pathetic, all they have is Noory, but he's willing to fill the void in their empty lives. 

I should shut up now.  I'm not a shrink and I don't even play one on tv, but that's how I see him. 

[Sardondi]

...I might suggest a combination of a) some form of learning disability combined with b) undiagnosed autistic spectrum disorder problem combined with c) moderate to lower IQ--all of which made school a struggle but not an insurmountable challenge for Noory.  He probably got through college with C's and D's, maybe the occasional B in something like broadcasting, where his voice helped him gain points....

I think this nugget is getting closer to the Essence of George than anything else I've seen. I think you have beautifully sifted, analyzed and synthesized the evidence. It's not one chief thing, but (like with most people) a combination. You have written a damn brilliant post. Bravo.

[ItsOver]

......When he cuts off people telling stories of their child who just committed suicide or their recently deceased spouse with, "Must be angels! Time for a commercial!  Stock up on e-foods direct, now!" he has no sense of how that sounds to the general audience much less how it impacts the caller.  (PB can say what he wants about Ian, but no one handles callers in emotional distress better than Ian does--it's the pastoral counselor in him.  Noory lacks that entirely.)  Even his "We're here for you on holidays" comes across with two wholly negative messages: a) it's all about Noory's ego (he's such a great guy for doing this) and b) his audience is so pathetic, all they have is Noory, but he's willing to fill the void in their empty lives.......... 

You've beautifully summarized one of the behaviors of Noory which I can't take.  Just going through the motions, like some brain dead robot or coming across as a condescending, uncaring, overly-inflated ego .  It's just amazing to me that someone with these characteristics sets behind the C2C microphone.

[MV/Liberace!]

http://youtu.be/9dY9gtYeHhk

WOW did this nauseate me.  the 50s sucked ass.  although this show was from the early 60s, it was a continuation of that whole 50s thing.

[HorrorRetro]

Was this serious, PB?  Where Noory's concerned, I can't tell--he's so fixated on dead/injured pets and kids, it makes sense he'd do this subject but focus on the pets who never came back rather than on HOW TO PREVENT PETS BEING SPOOKED BY FIREWORKS IN THE FIRST PLACE.

Asshole.

He's a sadistic ghoul. 

Gina

[11angeleyes11]

I observed that we have Regular Coast, Classic Coast and now Diet Coast as of last evening.  What is next Coast One, Cherry Coast or Coast fortified with fruit flavorings?

[coaster]

WOW did this nauseate me.  the 50s sucked ass.  although this show was from the early 60s, it was a continuation of that whole 50s thing.

I imagine hell has a loudspeaker where that "I Never Knew That Roses Grew" song plays on an endless loop.

[onan]

I observed that we have Regular Coast, Classic Coast and now Diet Coast as of last evening.  What is next Coast One, Cherry Coast or Coast fortified with fruit flavorings?

Coast Zero... although the formula is the same for all Coast products.

[PB the Deplorable]

His inability to make simple connections...

Noory's failures to connect...

The inability to understand emotional tonality...

I've wondered how he could have thought he could lazily take over hosting the show from Art Bell, put no real effort in, be completely uninterested and uninteresting, and not have realized there was going to be some backlash.


I wonder how he first discovered the complaints and accounts of his suckage all over the internet, when it was that he realized it wasn't going to go away, how he took the news that he couldn't 'sue' based on people expressing their opinions.


He's certainly mentioned 'thuh haters' often enough.  Reviews of his books on Amazon and the on-line comments section whenever he is interviewed by a magazine or newspaper just explode with posters talking about what he's done to ruin the show now, what, 9 years later.  The email he gets must just be hilarious. Does he still try to use Fast Blast? 


Yet with all that, when he had that YouTube video someone else uploaded of him singing linked to the Coast website, he is still surprised when people comment unfavorably. 

[PB the Deplorable]

Was this serious, PB?  Where Noory's concerned, I can't tell--he's so fixated on dead/injured pets and kids, it makes sense he'd do this subject but focus on the pets who never came back rather than on HOW TO PREVENT PETS BEING SPOOKED BY FIREWORKS IN THE FIRST PLACE.

Dang, I keep forgetting the show is beyond parody..

[MV/Liberace!]

I imagine hell has a loudspeaker where that "I Never Knew That Roses Grew" song plays on an endless loop.

what got me was watching the enthusiasm on the faces of the rubes singing in the background.  it's as if every one of them was thinking, "this could be your big break.  give it all you've got."  ugh.

[onan]

what got me was watching the enthusiasm on the faces of the rubes singing in the background.  it's as if every one of them was thinking, "this could be your big break.  give it all you've got."  ugh.

If anyone ever mentions the "golden age" of television I am gonna slap em in the face with sing along with mitch.

[coaster]

I guess back in the day Steve Allen did a Sing Along With Mitch parody with him swinging his arms like a madman and the camera would pan into people, knocking them over. That would probably be pretty funny, but i cant find it anywhere.

If anyone ever mentions the "golden age" of television I am gonna slap em in the face with sing along with mitch.

I wasnt aware that television had a golden age. Its always been garbage.

[onan]

I guess back in the day Steve Allen did a Sing Along With Mitch parody with him swinging his arms like a madman and the camera would pan into people, knocking them over. That would probably be pretty funny, but i cant find it anywhere.
I wasnt aware that television had a golden age. Its always been garbage.

I have read it in this forum and have agreed. I was referring to  Alfred Hitchcock Presents, The Twilight Zone, Playhouse 90 and writers like Paddy Chayefsky and Rod Serling.

[coaster]

Mitch Miller looks like the offspring of Vincent Price and Satan.

[Sardondi]

WOW did this nauseate me.  the 50s sucked ass.  although this show was from the early 60s, it was a continuation of that whole 50s thing.

I imagine hell has a loudspeaker where that "I Never Knew That Roses Grew" song plays on an endless loop.

what got me was watching the enthusiasm on the faces of the rubes singing in the background.  it's as if every one of them was thinking, "this could be your big break.  give it all you've got."  ugh.

If anyone ever mentions the "golden age" of television I am gonna slap em in the face with sing along with mitch.

Yep, it's unwatchable. But once it wasn't, although I think it was considered hopelessly middlebrow even back then  (Lawrence Welk had more style and I'm betting a higher average income of viewers than Mitch). Different times, different people.

And here's an inexorable, unchangeable truth to brighten your day: in 50 years your own grandchildren will savagely mock as hopelessly cheesy everything that is currently popular. Everything that is popular with the masses, even cutting-edge uber-cool stuff that isn't, will be fodder for snark. Dancing With The Stars is just Sing Along With Mitch without the age on it. Enjoy your approaching cultural irrelevance.

[ItsOver]

Another Nooryism that drives me up the wall is his one routine for talking with callers.  The same thing, every time.  He'll let a caller go on about something, incapable of any interesting interchange, then cut them off and start pontificating, as if he's talking with the caller, who has obviously been shuffled off into oblivion.  Does he really think we're thinking he's still "conversing" with the long-gone caller???  Usually, the Snoory pontification ends with one of his nitwit Noory observations, along the lines of "it's always somthun" and then launches into "next caller, Pete from Miami...."   

Snoory...."The least interesting man in the world...."

[Lovely Bones]

I think this nugget is getting closer to the Essence of George than anything else I've seen. I think you have beautifully sifted, analyzed and synthesized the evidence. It's not one chief thing, but (like with most people) a combination. You have written a damn brilliant post. Bravo.

Why thank you, Sardoni.  I have spent my life with the Combo Platter, and it is now paying off in my ability to analyze Noory.  (Well, maybe I helped some kids along the way.) 

[McPhallus]

I wasnt aware that television had a golden age. Its always been garbage.

It's the difference between good garbage and shitty garbage.

[Morgus]

Mitch Miller looks like the offspring of Vincent Price and Satan.

and an interesting trivia bit - Vincent Price played a devilish Lucifer character named Mr. Scratch in the 1956 movie "The Story of Mankind" 

[thefamilyghost]

Last night George greeted his second guest with 'how have you been?' rather than 'HOW ARE YOUUU?'.

though the 'I am really looking forward to this!' remained.

frankly I was surprised.

[MV/Liberace!]

If anyone ever mentions the "golden age" of television I am gonna slap em in the face with sing along with mitch.

jee-hee-sus. truer words never spoken.

[MV/Liberace!]

Mitch Miller looks like the offspring of Vincent Price and Satan.

that guy didn't die until 2010, age 99.

[Juan]

I wonder if Maj. Ed Dames remote viewed Mitch.  And if so, did Mitch turn and look at him?