My Coast Insider Cancellation Letter to C2C producers

[aldousburbank]

I thought I'd start this thread in which any CoastGabbers who have yet to cancel (Why have we hung on this long?) their "Insider" subscription can share their Dear John letters with the rest of us.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Dear C2C,

I am (unfortunately) canceling my Coast Insider subscription because the show has gone from un-miss-able to un-listenable.  Although I do enjoy Ian's and George Knapp's hosting, I am convinced that the regular host does not exhibit the necessary skills for conducting an interview, critical thinking, or reading text in an intelligible manner.  Therefore, I do not feel that the approximately 8 entertaining programs per month provides sufficient value to justify the monthly subscription fee.  This is especially so when there are so many much more entertaining hosts and podcasts available online, many of them at no cost whatsoever.

Although I will likely will continue to listen to Ian's, and the other guest hosted shows via broadcast radio, I am sure that I am only one of many that will choose to leave the radio off during the week.

Best Wishes,

Aldous Burbank

[MV/Liberace!]

aldous, you are now officially a soldier in our cause.  thank you, sir.

[aldousburbank]

Thanks for the ordination mi amigo, great that you have the wherewithal to create and manage this forum in such high caliber fashion!  I spent the first few days reading old posts and laughing ass like it hasn’t laughed in a long time I tell you.  If you people didn’t exist, I would have had to make you up.  Wait, that sounds snoory.  It was though quite a relief, to know that there was a witty, self-respecting, non-conformist community, somewhere out there…

And as much as my kiss off letter to Premiere needed to be written, it didn’t satisfy those years of pent up aggression I had acquired due to the spit roasting of a once entertaining, and sometimes great, radio show- the whole while it’s like what, I’m not supposed to notice?  Like a big ol’ silent-but-deadly that the driver in a tiny Honda Civic eases out over and over on a long road trip, in the middle of the night, when its so damn cold that opening the windows is no option, and you, as the passenger must say please stop this car and let me off because I’d rather walk in the cold than ride with somebody who won’t stop farting and also won’t admit that they are?

So here’s the letter I wanted to write, until my better nature had its way:

Dear Coast To Coast Producers,

You have totally slaughtered my show doofuses, so, get off the fucking air!  I mean, I have heard better conversations coming from desiccated coyote scat than the crap I hear stinking up the public airwaves on the weeknights now.  For Gawd’s sake people grow up!  Who wants to hear some guy who can’t read a full line of copy without hacking the rhythm, order, pronunciation, context, and therefore the meaning of the damn thing like sticking your head in a freakin’ wood chipper already?  I mean it would take a whole city block of mental wards for anyone to collectively make sense of “What the hell is I.G.Noory thinking?” but that wouldn’t be fair to the patients.  Do you feel good spending money earned from taking a thoroughbred stallion, butchering it all to hell, selling the meat to eFood Doggy Treats Co., then stuffing and mounting the corpse for all to admire?   Get off the fucking air Yeti Scrotums, you make me wish Marconi had invented an ecologically sound toilet paper instead, you radio posers.  Get a radio guy on there already, not a freakin’ mental yo yo.  And lose that stupid fool picture on your lame website while you're at it you Noory ballwashing loonatrons- it’s not hip, it’s not now, it’s not even really possible to look at it without knowing that this clown is right now sitting around in his acrylic socks, boxers, and wife beater, eating Doritos, watching I Love Lucy reruns- on my Freakin’ dime!  But he hasn’t earned it yet!  So lose Bozo ‘cuz this crap is like replacing The Messiah Being Interviewed By Dennis Miller On Acid Broadcasting From The Dark Side Of The Moon, with Britney Spears Live From Pasadena Huffing Paint Thinner While Forming Little Shapes From Play Dough, and I don’t like it!!!!  Have I made myself clear???  So please, if you can’t give me back my money, not to mention my goodwill toward man which I have apparently lost by being so pissed at your mindless incompetence, then take a fucking hike, get a fucking clue, then get a real job.  Maybe something like sign-twirler out front of The Area 51 Portal Car Wash in Parumph, Nevada might fit your likes you no good broadcast wannabe asswipes.

PS- If it happens, as I sometimes suspect, that you have been forced into this carnage by some, let’s say, agency beyond your control, then please excuse the above and best of luck!

[MV/Liberace!]

...this crap is like replacing The Messiah Being Interviewed By Dennis Miller On Acid Broadcasting From The Dark Side Of The Moon, with Britney Spears Live From Pasadena Huffing Paint Thinner While Forming Little Shapes From Play Dough, and I don’t like it!!!!

haha, holy shit... talk about painting an image.

...then please excuse the above and best of luck!

HAHA

[Max_TO]

Great topic !

But having said that do you think that anything will happen as a result of this , or other streamlink cancelations ?

[Max_TO]

Ok folks , we all know George SUCKS , there are even a few threads on that very topic , George's suckage . If you want to make a direct comment on his SUCKAGE , please post in one of the existing threads .

What I am hoping for as a result of this thread are some real ideas as to what we can do to have that boob removed from the weekly hosting chair of coast and get a real personality installed .

So folks what can we do  ? Cancel our memberships ? Start a petition ?  Bombard coast with phone calls demanding George be shown the door ?

What can we do people ?

[aldousburbank]

do you think that anything will happen as a result of this , or other streamlink cancelations ?

Right.  Maybe this should be in the "How Do We Get Rid Of George" thread now but, I really only wrote the letter to let Tom D or whoever know the show suks and I won't help pay for it any longer.  However, I think they must get some amount of this type of letter and already know the show suks.  So perhaps there could be a tipping point where some genius figures out that they should consign GN to Ian's Saturday spot and float him the softball, gee whiz stuff, then let Ian, George Knapp, and perhaps Mr Simone split the difference.

[GuerrillaUnReal]

A steady campaign of calling in as much as possible and blowing an air horn into the phone. Do this night after night.

[Marc.Knight]

Ok folks , we all know George SUCKS , there are even a few threads on that very topic , George's suckage . If you want to make a direct comment on his SUCKAGE , please post in one of the existing threads .

What I am hoping for as a result of this thread are some real ideas as to what we can do to have that boob removed from the weekly hosting chair of coast and get a real personality installed .

So folks what can we do  ? Cancel our memberships ? Start a petition ?  Bombard coast with phone calls demanding George be shown the door ?

What can we do people ?

identify and bombard the sponsors.

[Max_TO]

Who " owns " coast ? Who can we write or call that is more then some Georgy porgy door mat ?

[TaoOfLuxLisbon]

Kill every stoner, shut-in and creepy old woman in America?

[Max_TO]

identify and bombard the sponsors.

Good one ! Let's see if we can build up a list of sponsors with contact numbers and emails

[Marc.Knight]

Good one ! Let's see if we can build up a list of sponsors with contact numbers and emails

#5.  not sure how old this is.


http://archive.coasttocoastam.com/help.html

[onan]

As much as I wish the people in charge of c2c had any regard for us... they don't. As much as I want c2c to go away it is not going to. Not anytime soon. Someone just posted c2c was hitting limbaugh numbers. That says it all, we are the splinter group... yes we are all much smarter than those trough sniffers but it doesn't matter to them. I am sure many of them know noory is untalented but the product is selling.

[Silent]

You may have better luck trying to convince other radio networks to create competition by pointing out the weakness of the show.  There must be some paranormal podcasters out there who you could help find guests for also.  If you want some good old fashioned DIY radio like Art Bell those are the routes I'd look into.  If there ever is a rightful heir to the throne it probably will not come from CTC.

[Max_TO]

You may have better luck trying to convince other radio networks to create competition by pointing out the weakness of the show.  There must be some paranormal podcasters out there who you could help find guests for also.  If you want some good old fashioned DIY radio like Art Bell those are the routes I'd look into.  If there ever is a rightful heir to the throne it probably will not come from CTC.

You know what , you bring up some good points .

If not George , then who would coast get ? The only other personalities I have seen who could do the job would be George Nap , but he can't do the show daily / doesnt want to do the show daily , and there was that Richard Syrett , but with his new radio commitment I don't think he could do a daily show either .

As for the new hosts that coast has been trying out , I can't say I am overly impressed .

Perhaps coast management needs options mixed in with the get rid of George messages .

Coast must be aware of George's short comings and knowing the money they have invested in coast they must be activly looking for personalities for the sake of good business , or I would hope so anyway .

[aldousburbank]

As much as I wish the people in charge of c2c had any regard for us... they don't.

You mean they are not really freaked out by losing my $6.95 per month?  Damn it you say!

[aldousburbank]

What about polite but pointed letters to local Program Directors suggesting to consider alternate programming, or at least skipping the replay which follows the live broadcast- as takes place in many markets?  I mean this might be a long, slow, action, but it beats only pissing and moaning.

[Marc.Knight]

We could all demand that "Art Bell, Somewhere in Time" replace all C2C regular programming.   

[RealCool Daddio]

Kill every stoner, shut-in and creepy old woman in America?

If you are referring to me, FortRock and Anagrammy, I take offence!

[RealCool Daddio]

You mean they are not really freaked out by losing my $6.95 per month?  Damn it you say!

One less grand slam at Denny's after the show for George!

[Max_TO]

I mean this might be a long, slow, action, but it beats only pissing and moaning.

How right you are , it so important that we do something .

Tomorrow I am going to fire off a few emails , for starters .

[aldousburbank]

If you are referring to me, FortRock and Anagrammy, I take offence!

Now that my firends, is some funny stuff!  How about Somewhere In Time 5 nights a week, then Michael V., RealCool Daddio, and folks of this nature take over on weekends?

[anagrammy]

On an earlier thread I tried to whip up interest in saving Ghost to Coast, but most of you thought it was too late.  I think my earlier comment on the Art Bell Quits Coast thread about the audience changing is the key.

Today I was listening to the New World Order guy and George had EXACTLY the same persona with him as he does with every other guest, the same forced cheerfulness and fake solicitousness I find SO PATRONIZING.  As he was going into the break, George said, "....New World Order will be a good thing, but we'll have him back after the break and we'll get through this together."

I don't know about you, but I am not a child, nor am I senile.  I do not need George's help to understand the guest, in fact, I think he needs my help===

Back to topic, I would like to see a poll on who this new host could be (I'd like to See Jason Bermas on the list).  I also would like to suggest an addition to programming-- a call in hour for the audience to engage with the host in dialog about the guest or subject matter a after the show.  Here's why:  I have ALWAYS wanted to ask the host why he didn't ask XXX and I never get the chance.  I know Noory wouldn't do it because he is phoning it in and squeaking by day after day (in his mind this is successful) and it's ok, because as he said, "It's all about ratings."  If he got on and spouted gibberish like that poor CBS news reporter, Clear Channel would not care as long as the ratings were there.

If we can agree on a few things we'd like to see, and we make a proposal as a group representing the huge fanbase which has already clicked off Noory in disgust, I do think we have a chance to support a new host and a new show.

Anagrammy

PS.  Hey, watch who you call creepy, after all, I am a Dark Star fan.

[Max_TO]

If we can agree on a few things we'd like to see, and we make a proposal as a group representing the huge fanbase which has already clicked off Noory in disgust, I do think we have a chance to support a new host and a new show.

Anagrammy

I am all for us coming together to address this problem . I just hope that we can do something / come up with something , that will help us in our cause .

One thing is clear , we do need to do something and Anagrammy is right , if done as a united force it will have more meaning . Not to say we shouldn't take steps on our own as well . As mentioned , I do intend to be very busy with some emails tomorrow .

On a side note , am i the only one who finds way to many pictures of George on the coast site ever sense they changed they site a year or so ago ?

[The General]

The real question behind "How do we get rid of George" is...
How do we make Coast To Coast great again?
And I think that it is an exercise in futility.  It won't ever be like it was.  Nothing ever is.
Eventually George will go.  But Coast to Coast will always be a hollow shell of its former self.
Trying to make Coast awesome again is like trying to bring back disco.  It ain't gonna happen.

Sorry to be a buzzkill here, but that's how I feel about it.

[anagrammy]

General, we hashed the idea of making Coast to Coast great again a long time ago  (I suggested it), but nobody was in favor.  At the time, I don't think I had a grasp on the depth of the problem.  That's why I think it's already evolving its own loyal fanbase of listeners who want to curl up on George Noory's lap and be petted while they purr, "It's an honor to be speaking to you Mr. Noory, such an honor...."    (sound of me puking).

God bless them- let them have him and they can share their mushbrain comments with each other.

We have a list of sponsors and phone numbers, all we need is a plan.  How about starting with a poll on who should be the new host and what should be the name of the new show?

Here's some suggestions I've read

Ian Punnet
George Knapp
Jason Bermas

What's the name of that guy with the super deep voice? Rob somebody...  let's collect some choices and throw it out there.

Anagrammy

[anagrammy]

Here you go, let's start asap:

Coast sponsors
C. Crane-- (CC Trek Light/CC Radio/Versacorder/Tivoli Base): 1-800-522-8863 (ccrane.com)
Lear Financial Gold Investments: 1-800-474-4259 (learcapital.com)
Master Omega 3 Fish Oil: 1-800-606-2117
Super Prostate Formula: 1-800-603-7277
Sleep Number Bed: 1-800-390-9100 (selectcomfort.com)
Master Health Pack: 1-800-453-5346
Purina One: 1-866-559-7387
Tahiti Village: 1-866-424-6669
Vermont Teddy Bear: 1-800-829-2327 (vermontteddybear.com)
Eden Pure Heater: 1-800-546-9093 (edenpuretalkradio.com)
Zona Plus: 1-888-711-9662 (zona.com)
Total Body Pain Spray: 1-800-597-5774

Anagrammy

[DoYouThinkItWasAngels]

Mass consciousness, Art Bell style.

But seriously, Coast to Coast is done for.  Let's move on to the paranormal podcast scene that was inspired by Coast. Tim Binnall, Red Ice, and Whitley Strieber's Dreamland.

[b_dubb]

Strieber is just as moronic as George just better spoken