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Messages - PB the Deplorable

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17581
Noory is what we refer to on the Gumby Planet as an "Empty". An entity bereft of any original thought who must therefor steal pieces of identity from others and  act as if  it were their own.

Phunny, on a neighboring planet, the world where Phillip K. Dick originated, known to all Gumbians as the "Dick Planet," entities such as George are known as "Chicken Heads."

Are any planets out their claiming Ian Punnett?

My working theory is he became so full of just the right mixture of gas and hot air that he achieved lift off - likely on a planet with only a slightly less gravitational pull than our own. 



17582
Isn't it just pukey? George has to steal Art's real life experiences, like the Super Glue screw-up, etc., then flip them into his lying, transparent shtick, while his fans just think he's the best.

"Awe, look at poor George, isn't he just so pathetically cute?"

I'd bet the story about driving off from the gas station with the hose still attached to his tank was true..

17583
I NEED HELP! I'm doing a Revolution Show on Friday.

Can anyone think of any good songs on that subject?


Sir Rodney:  'Sire, the peasants are revolting'

King:  'They certainly are'

   -- The Wizard of Id


What could be more revolting than the idea of George Noory hosting Coast 2 Coast........ ay em?

17584
Don't compare George to Gomez.  Gomez had flair, he had Morticia, the children and Lurch.  Don't tell me you've forgotten cousit Itt?


Well, Tommy is doing his best... perhaps a post-modern interpretation of Lurch..



'This towering brute has been shambling around the studio forever…He is not a very good producer but a faithful one…One eye is opaque, the scanty hair is damply clinging to his round fat head…generally the company regards us as something of a joke.'  - George Noory


Tommy (in his high squeaky voice):  'You rang?'

17585
Mops,  you are right that not much will
Happen on december 21 2012 when the Mayan
Calendar ends...but  looking to the
Future, I am officially starting a new apocalyptic
Religion based on less well known civilization that split off
From the Mayans, known as the Payans, 
that predict the world will End on March 14, 2015, which is the
End of the Payan calendar...actually, The Payans were
Mathematically very advanced, and their  complex
Calculations are based on the circular orbits of
The planets, which all point to the cycle
Ending on 3.14.15, at 9:26:53 in the morning, Universal time...

'I really do believe 2015 is coming.  What do you think about that?'

'We're going to do that show that day and then retire,  that's it'

'Something's gonna happen, I can feel it'

'Richard, how did the Payans know?'

'2015 is not that far out there anymore, maybe I'll go to 3 days a week after that.  I'm going to stay until I'm dragged out'.

'It's in nature, it's everywhere, those numbers, that date.  There has got to be something to it'.

'In 2015 the next polar reversal will take place'

'Well, if the world ends in 2015, then there is not much we can do is there?'


17586


George:  'Awr next caller is from, uh, East of the Rockies... I'm not even going to take a stab at this one... welcome to the show, where awr yeeew calling from?'

Caller:  'Haah George, thanks fer takin' muh call, I'm callin' from rot heeer in muh trailer perk heer in Little Rock Arkansas, George, wee shor love yeew, and we shor do lov yer show, ah think ev'ry buddy does..

George (low growl):  'Not everybody'

17587
We've another celeb death - Billy Mays, the obnoxious tv pitchman, has succumed to whatever it is that done 'im in -

Will Snoory mention it Monday night?  Stay tuned.  The suspense is overwhelming.

Just checked the Coast website - looks like Knapp is going to have Christian von L?hr on again to try channeling Billy..

17588
We've another celeb death - Billy Mays, the obnoxious tv pitchman, has succumed to whatever it is that done 'im in -

Will Snoory mention it Monday night?  Stay tuned.  The suspense is overwhelming.

George is sure moving up the Hollywood celebrity list this week, he must be is the top 25,000 already..

17589
We've another celeb death - Billy Mays, the obnoxious tv pitchman, has succumed to whatever it is that done 'im in -

Will Snoory mention it Monday night?  Stay tuned.  The suspense is overwhelming.

George will know there is something very suspicious going on, because it only happens in 3's. 

George:  'Linda'?


17590
... call in and talk in ways that use real words that seem like they are going to add up to a thought, but that never quite get there. Something that always seems like it is going to get to a point but keeps making digressions and ultimately is non-sensical. Like a story that goes on and on endlessly or a discussion that invites George's response but there's nothing to respond to. He'd have a hard time editing that out with his on-air delay thingy.

If he was listening to the call (unlikely), he'd probably think Ian was calling in.

Caller:  'babble, babble, babble, digress, big word, babble, digress, babble, babble...'

George:  'that's incredible, Ian, can't wait for Saturday to hear that show'

17591
Imagine anyone, late at night, turning the radio dial and coming upon Coast to Coast these days with any of the hosts.  Is anybody tuning in for the first time intrigued?  Anyone going to keep the dial there?  Anyone going to be sure to tune in again?

Well put PB, I agree in all respects...


Maybe that helps explain why so many Noortard callers excitedly proclaim their love for everything Coast before getting to the reason for their call, assuming they're calling for a reason - it's a marketing tactic designed to convince the channel surfers that they have stumbled onto a show that is just so 'all that'.

That just leaves the question of how they get so many callers to say it... are they all plants?... are Noortards just smart enough to know how to increase their chances of getting on?... is it some lemming thing where they do it because everyone else is (ditto-head effect)?... a combination?...

Too bad George doesn't use his time to improve, or for actual show prep, instead of thinking up this kind of thing.. phony.


17592
... a total trainwreck of a show in keeping with the standards and traditions of the Original C2C Asshat himself
 

Complete with Noortards calling in and gushing about what a great show it was.

George:  'Astonishing'

17593
Imagine anyone, late at night, turning the radio dial and coming upon Coast to Coast these days with any of the hosts.  Is anybody tuning in for the first time intrigued?  Anyone going to keep the dial there?  Anyone going to be sure to tune in again?

To ask those questions is to answer them.


And to think I used to recommend the show to people (of course that was in the AB days)...

17594
Thank god George Knapp is on
Tomorrow to deliver us from Stupidity
He is our last, best chance for peace of mind...

I'm posting from my phone, so I have
Limited ability...if someone can find the
Song parody "Bye Bye Mr. Kingdom of Nye"
And post it here, it's appropriate
"this'll be the day the show dies"...

I wish I had your confidence in George Knapp, he's had his share of lame stupid guests and shows...


From TOGNS page 2261 - posted by the Professor Feb 2009...


I heard Don McLean's classic ballad Amercian Pie,
or as it is often called, "the day the music died",
which laments the tragic loss of Buddy Holly, and the impact it had on the quality of music at the time...I couldn't help but
think a similar thing has happened to Coast-to-Coast...

<to the tune of American Pie>


Kingdom of Nye


A long, long time ago...
I can still remember
How that show used to make me smile.
And I knew someone would call in
With a weird tale to make us grin
And, maybe, we'd be happy for a while.

But february made me shiver
With every paper I'd deliver.
Bad news on the doorstep;
I couldn't take one more step.

I can't remember if I cried
When I read he'd stepped aside,
But something touched me deep inside
The day that Coast-to-Coast died.

So bye-bye, Mr. Kingdom of Nye,
Drove my chevy to Pahrump
But the place was a dump.
And the unscreened callers tellin' stories and lies
are Singin', this'll be the day the show dies
This'll be the day the show dies.

Did you make the show we love?
And do you have faith in God above,
If the Bible tells you so?
And do you believe in radio?
Can a talk show save your mortal soul?
And can you teach me how to call a UFO?

Well, I know that you love him too
`cause I saw you listen' 'til he was through,
Every night is like a full moon,
Man, dig those bumper tunes!

I use to listen in my pickup truck
To a show that did not suck
But I knew I was out of luck
The day that Coast-to-Coast died.

I started singin',
bye-bye, Mr. Kingdom of Nye,
Drove my chevy to Pahrump
But the place was a dump.
And the unscreened callers tellin' stories and lies
were Singin', this'll be the day the show dies
This'll be the day the show dies.

Now for five years we've been on our own
With a Moron behind the microphone
But that's not how it used to be.
When the Master talked about a hole with Mel
Or an Alien kept in a secret cell,
With a voice that came to you and me,

Oh, and while The King was not around,
The Moron stole his thorny crown.
The courtroom was adjourned;
The verdict of sucking was returned
And while Noory Built a House of Tards
Any Tommy filled out 3x5 cards
We sang dirges after dark
The day that Coast-to-Coast died.

We Were singin,
bye-bye, Mr. Kingdom of Nye,
Drove my chevy to Pahrump
But the place was a dump.
And the unscreened callers tellin' stories and lies
were Singin', this'll be the day the show dies
This'll be the day the show dies.

Helter skelter from a St. Louis smelter.
When the show is on I head to a fallout shelter,
Ratings are down and falling fast.
Coast is foul, hosted by a dumb-ass.
The listeners pray for time to pass,
While the jester does his nightly broadcast.

Now the air is full of doom and gloom
The Moron makes you want leave the room.
On the weekend we all got up to dance,
Oh, but we never got the chance!
Knapp tried to take the field,
But The Moron refused to yield!
Do you recall what was revealed
The day that Coast-to-Coast died.

We started singing,
bye-bye, Mr. Kingdom of Nye,
Drove my chevy to Pahrump
But the place was a dump.
And the unscreened callers tellin' stories and lies
were Singin', this'll be the day the show dies
This'll be the day the show dies.

Oh, and there we were all in one place,
While Noory talked to the Kid from Lost in Space
We have no time left to start again.
So come on: George be nimble, George be quick!
George sucks on satan's dick!
Cause the devil is Noory's only friend.

Oh, and as we watched him on the stage
The fans hands were clenched in fists of rage.
No angel born in hell
Could break that satan's spell.
And as the flames climbed high into the night
To light the sacrificial rite,
I saw satan laughing with delight
The day that Coast-to-Coast died.

He was singing,
bye-bye, Mr. Kingdom of Nye,
Drove my chevy to Pahrump
But the place was a dump.
And the unscreened callers tellin' stories and lies
were Singin', this'll be the day the show dies
This'll be the day the show dies.

I met a girl who sang the blues
And I asked her for some happy news,
But she just smiled and turned away.
I went down to the sacred store
Where I'd heard the show years before,
But the man there said the show wouldn't play.

And on the Thread: the listeners screamed,
The lovers cried, and the poets dreamed.
But not a word was spoken;
Art Bell's microphone was broken.
And the three men I admire most:
Punnett, Knapp and the Master Host
They caught the last train Coast-to-Coast
The day that the show died.

And They were singing,
bye-bye, Mr. Kingdom of Nye,
Drove my chevy to Pahrump
But the place was a dump.
And the unscreened callers tellin' stories and lies
were Singin', this'll be the day the show dies
This'll be the day the show dies.


17595
New GNS award category:

Worse Show by a non-Noory

We gave a winner tonight!

And Ian claims to be an MJ fan, imagine if he weren't...

17596
I just turned this on. This is unfucking believable beyond even anything Noory would do!

That Michael, always the entertainer - even taking a break during commercials.

Ian has long been angling to reach George's level.  You made it, buddy.

17597
I sent Ian a Fastblast asking him to have his charlatan guest have
His ability tested on air as well, by channellling Ians dead relatives...

Always a gentleman - mine wasn't nearly as nice...

17598
Meanwhile here's Ian right now comparing Michael Jackson to JFK and Elvis.

Ian Punnet Sucks.

Creepy Priest.

I bet all the little old ladies at his church just think the world of him.

'Oh he's such a nice young man.  He's so smart and handsome.  He has his own radio show you know.  I just love his sermons.  And he sure likes to eat, we just so enjoy him at Big Bob's Buffet after church.  And his wife is so adorable.  And his son is such a sweet boy.'

Ok, I'm making myself ill, where is that horse guy?


17599
Meanwhile here's Ian right now comparing Michael Jackson to JFK and Elvis.

Ian Punnet Sucks.

Creepy Priest.

Seems to me that Coast has at least a couple of creepy people on the premises they should be looking into before piling on MJ...

17600
The was a great post back there  P*b....I concur 110%...agree 117% and I love the way you put it all into words.

As far as George taking classes. Forget about it. George cannot learn things like that. He cannot be bothered with such boring tedium. He has corporate legs to hump and important guests/callers to dump. Besides that, he  simply isn't wired for learning such things. George is more of a mimic, and a poor one at that.

And how could I have left out the following:

 - George the hard worker, and the corollary - George spending his days preparing for the show

 - George the Lightworker

 - All the people in entertainment he knows, Hollywood friends he has, stars that have promised to come on his show...

 - the whole Ouija Board thing.. what a load that was from start to finish.

 - his Aunt Shafica, who he didn't actually know, and was a distant relative..


And about the Worker in the Light - I have only heard the story about casting a spell on those women, or their boyfriends or whatever, but can anyone seriously think dumb lazy George has a clue how to 'cast spells'?

That smacks of George wanting people to think of him as some Debonair Practitioner, yet as human as anyone - only using 'black' magic side for the sake of love.  All it really showed is what a tin ear he has...




17601
He reminds me of the worst of out-sourced tech support - where the person you get on the other end of the hone just keeps on reading from those 3 x 5 cards NO MATTER WHAT YOU SAY.

Wouldn't it be great to hear a recording of George calling one of the above Tech Support people - they could both just continue repeating their standard lines until one of them keeled over...

17602
That is a really good point. I agree I have never noticed noory exhibiting a sense of humor on any level. He has his fake feigned laugh...that makes my skin crawl. That is why this fraud of a man is so pathetic. He can't even laugh at himself.

When a caller or guest says something obviously meant as a joke, or to be funny, George never just starts to chuckle or laugh - he is quiet for a moment, waiting for the guest or caller to laugh, then sure it is something meant to be funny, only then will he jump in with a phony sounding laugh.

And from time to time telling stories meant to be funny - they never are, they just make him sound pathetic.

God he sucks.

Maybe a few courses in Broadcasting.  After some courses in Journalism, after some courses in Science, after some courses in Geography, after a few courses in Public Speaking.  Oh, never mind.

17603
Although I think it's BS that George is scared of clowns. I think he's lying. I think he made it up because he's pathological.

Well yeah.  Everything he says about himself seems to have at least an element of a lie.  Made up on the spot, he just blurts it out - or sometimes when he's either 'thinking' about the show, his image, or something just comes to him.  Then he thinks, yeah, that's the image I need to project, and continues with it.  The lies are obvious and he must be real dumb, because he's just so bad at it and appears not to realize it.

Examples:

 - 'My date said she hated animals, so I left'.  This one was thought up in advance.

 - 'I gave out unicorn figurines to people as a child'.  Just came up with it on the spot during a conversation about unicorns and angels

 - The whole 'Navy Guy' thing.  He was in the Reserves, and never set foot on a boat.

 - 'The neighborhood kids got me with squirt guns, so my mom doused them with a bucket of water'.  On the spot.

 - 'I love animals, everyone should.  It's ok if you can't care for a pet, but you should love animals'.  Thought up as a way to polish his image.

 - 'I don't believe in coincidences'.   This one he must have heard somewhere and decided to adopt it.

 - 'I was basically born to do this show' or similar comments.  Image.

 - The don't like clowns thing.  Heard somewhere and adopted.

 - The whole 'Caring about people' thing.  Image.  Subcategories:
      - 'help people when you can'
      - I'm here for you on holidays
      - Maritza
      - Donating book proceeds
      - Mish, Katherine, etc are on the show to help you (not to scare you)

 - 'We've taken the show in a whole new direction'.   Image.

 - 'The show is growing'.  Image.

 - I'm going to run for president'.  On the spot.

 - I'm going to work on my knuckleball and try out for the St Louis Cardinals'.  On the spot.


     
     
I'm  sure we can all think of more.  Just reinforcing the point this guy is about as phony as possible.  Can't help but wonder what he is hiding...  One could argue some of it is said in jest, except in all these years he has displayed no sense of humor whatsoever.  Zero.



Disclaimer:  the above, as well as other of my commentary, is my opinion only, and is based on what I've gleaned from listening to his show...

17604
 
   

Well Art confided last night that Michael lived right there in Pahrump, being the cat lover that he is perhaps he could take in the Cheetah and the Siberian Tiger...

17605
I notice the same thing happens with most good 70's and 80's music (especially 80's).  I dunno, they just don't do it the same anymore.

And '60's stuff:

A Hard Day's Night of the Living Dead

17606

You can't see it, but he's holding onto it real tight.



George was always a bit anal retentive..


George:  'So true'

17607
Hosted by George Noory
Guest:  Gilbert Eriksen
Monday June 29, 2009

Author, researcher and expert in alternative energy, Gilbert Eriksen will discuss the dire implications of the return of Planet X, how NASA is covering up its existence, and how Biblical and Mayan prophecy describe an event of enormous destructive magnitude for which we need to begin preparation.



With George at the helm, they should be in full tin-foil hat mode for this one.  Richard C probably won't be able to get to sleep Sunday night...

17608


George got into the Mass Un-consciousness movement as a young man.

17609
Could all those folks that sent messages to the Immigration Dept on behalf of Art and Airyn, now sent requests to get George deported?


17610
They're cruel too. Playing Art's music on norry's nights is torture!

I'm like Pavlov's Dog. The second I hear one of Art's signature tunes I get happy, it lulls me into a comfortable space then stupid George comes on and makes me nauseous.

So even though it's cool to have Art on right now, I'm having an anxiety attack!

Just got home, an anxiety attack would be for Art to go commercial and have Noory voicing an ad... no advance warning, out of the blue Instant Suck...

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