George Noory Sucks! - The Definitive Compendium

[Uncle Duke]

'They were going to ATM me to death. It would have taken a couple of days.'
To drain Jorch's overflowing accounts, presumably.

The security expert didn't pick Joorch up on his escape plan. Jumping from the 'taxi' and waving a $100 bill at a passing motorist and telling him 'I need to get to the airport!' Needs must, I realize, but it could have been an escape from the frying pan to the fire to stand in a Mexican street and effectively shout 'Hi, everyone. I'm a middle-aged American tourist with large amounts of cash in his pockets.' And his supposed kidnappers weren't too ruthless, were they, if he got away that easily?

The second guest was an Aussie woman who claimed to be a reincarnated Zeta gray alien in human form. She explained grays abduct humans and animals to remove and bank DNA to enable them to restore life on Earth in the event we destroy ourselves. Would have loved to have heard her asked, "So what's the deal with you people and assholes?  What with anal probing of humans and coring out bovine rectums, sounds like there's something beyond DNA collection going on here."

[Dateline]

Here is the untold story about that Mexican taxi pick-up.  After five blocks with Norry, he realized he would get no ransom,  (he would be going in the hole for food and sammies)  so he stopped the van and gave a little heave-ho.  On to the next potential vic. . tim. . tourist.

[NoMoreNoory]

Way-ay, wack! This group's first scouser. Have a conny-onny butty and gi'us a couple verses of "Dirty Maggie May".

Scouser Number Two at best, I'm afraid, pk. But greetings and welcome to the fun house from this US-based exile.

[CronkitesGhost]

Fuck. As I was falling asleep last night Jorch spat out an amazing Norryism. I was too tired to come here and post it and now I'm desperately trying to remember it and failing. 

[Gyoza Girl]

Thought it was kind of jarring when George abruptly thanked Judith Carroll for being on the show, and then just like that, she was gone. I don't think she even got to thank George for having her on the show!

I guess he was trying to be kind to the hospitalized man who requested another airing of "The-Tell Tale Heart," but it seemed kind of rude to the guest.

[Gyoza Girl]

Fuck. As I was falling asleep last night Jorch spat out an amazing Norryism. I was too tired to come here and post it and now I'm desperately trying to remember it and failing. 

Last night, Jason Hanson was talking about people being kidnapped, and George asked if they know they're being kidnapped. I'm not sure this is what you had in mind, but it made me laugh!

[CronkitesGhost]

Last night, Jason Hanson was talking about people being kidnapped, and George asked if they know they're being kidnapped. I'm not sure this is what you had in mind, but it made me laugh!

HAHAHAHAHAHA just incredible, he takes inane to new levels. that bizarro question followed discussion about the sex slave trade. Jorch was asking how do they lure the girls in and the guest explained a few of their techniques which prompted Jorch to ponder and ask 'so they know they're going to be kidnapped?' yes Jorch that's how it works

Evil Sex Slave Trader:  You're very pretty, I'd like to help you. Drop by my hotel room this evening, I'll take you out to a wonderful dinner and buy you a new wardrobe.

Girl: Really? Why would you do that for me?

Evil Sex Slave Trader: Of course really my dear. Because I'm going to kidnap you and sell you to a Saudi sheik.

Girl: Oh ok. Sounds good.

Then Jorch brought up the Nigerian email scam and totally got that all wrong too.

[ItsOver]

Last night, Jason Hanson was talking about people being kidnapped, and George asked if they know they're being kidnapped. I'm not sure this is what you had in mind, but it made me laugh!

Ha, ha, ha!  Hey Jorch, do yeeewww know you're on the radio?

[GravitySucks]

HAHAHAHAHAHA just incredible, he takes inane to new levels. that bizarro question followed discussion about the sex slave trade. Jorch was asking how do they lure the girls in and the guest explained a few of their techniques which prompted Jorch to ponder and ask 'so they know they're going to be kidnapped?' yes Jorch that's how it works

Evil Sex Slave Trader:  You're very pretty, I'd like to help you. Drop by my hotel room this evening, I'll take you out to a wonderful dinner and buy you a new wardrobe.

Girl: Really? Why would you do that for me?

Evil Sex Slave Trader: Of course really my dear. Because I'm going to kidnap you and sell you to a Saudi sheik.

Girl: Oh ok. Sounds good.

Then Jorch brought up the Nigerian email scam and totally got that all wrong too.

Yeah. What do the Nigerians get out of the lottery scams anyway?

[Morgus]

Thought it was kind of jarring when George abruptly thanked Judith Carroll for being on the show, and then just like that, she was gone. I don't think she even got to thank George for having her on the show!

I guess he was trying to be kind to the hospitalized man who requested another airing of "The-Tell Tale Heart," but it seemed kind of rude to the guest.

Yeah, right Noory - we all believe you that some guy requested that tired old recording of your reading of "Tell Tale Heart" and because of that you had to dump your guest a half hour early last night.  If so, why not wait until Friday open lines instead?

More likely, you just suddenly got hungry for a turkey sandwich or a pizza roll, and did that to take off a half hour early and made up that story as a lame excuse! 

[ItsOver]

Yeah, right Noory - we all believe you that some guy requested that tired old recording of your reading of "Tell Tale Heart" and because of that you had to dump your guest a half hour early last night.  If so, why not wait until Friday open lines instead?

More likely, you just suddenly got hungry for a turkey sandwich or a pizza roll, and did that to take off a half hour early and made up that story as a lame excuse! 

Jorch Noory, the hardest working laziest man in radio.

[CronkitesGhost]

when's Linda Moulton Howe on again? i love that gravitas she brings.

maybe we'll get lucky tonight and Dave will play that classic Coast bit of the guy calling in having a conniption describing a traffic accident where a carload of little old ladies beat up a guy with their umbrellas. oh wait, that's not even a Coast call -  that's a testament to how bad a show is when after 20 years you don't have any funny 'best of' bits of your own to play.

[pate]

mIGHT,  eye interject that Dave igNooron sucks much like a douche-miner uin yarn twenty-eleventy-ecks,ecks.

Muah, muah, gnOrtly snickderp.. 'splain?

ediot: hat, urh

[Rat-eating Hater]

Eaters of rats, yes
To pizza rolls, we call out
In basement, we toil.

You rang?

Tonight I heard Noory babbling on about "cleanses". Priceless. Maybe his head will pop out.

[GravitySucks]

You rang?

Tonight I heard Noory babbling on about "cleanses". Priceless. Maybe his head will pop out.

Into the cloud

[ItsOver]

when's Linda Moulton Howe on again? i love that gravitas she brings.

maybe we'll get lucky tonight and Dave will play that classic Coast bit of the guy calling in having a conniption describing a traffic accident where a carload of little old ladies beat up a guy with their umbrellas. oh wait, that's not even a Coast call -  that's a testament to how bad a show is when after 20 years you don't have any funny 'best of' bits of your own to play.

LMH is usually on the last Thursday of the month.  It's varied the past few months, at least once she had some other commitment, and I believe she was on March 1st because Feb is a short month.  Hopefully, she'll be on the last Thursday of March but who knows, with goofball Jorch.  Since she was already on at the first of the month, she may not be back on until the last Thursday in April.

Jorch played his awful Tell Tale Heart rendition last night, apparently, so I'm sure the even worse fake little old ladies routine is in the near-term line up.  Oh, joy.  : 

[ItsOver]

... Maybe his head will pop out.

Heh, heh.

[TigerLily]

mIGHT,  eye interject that Dave igNooron sucks much like a douche-miner uin yarn twenty-eleventy-ecks,ecks.

Muah, muah, gnOrtly snickderp.. 'splain?

ediot: hat, urh

pate cashed his monthly check tonight

[CronkitesGhost]

Jorch shilling some new snakeoil 'The Cleanse'

[pate]

pate cashed his monthly check tonight

aLL oAR nuffin, MUFFIN:

GNS?

[pate]

pate cashed his monthly check tonight

btw yore avatar: unsexy liik...

ediote: sexy thyme ses-cissy!

[zeebo]

LMH is usually on the last Thursday of the month.  It's varied the past few months, at least once she had some other commitment, and I believe she was on March 1st because Feb is a short month.  Hopefully, she'll be on the last Thursday of March but who knows...

I think at the top of that show George mentioned Linda would be on twice this month.  He must be thinking it's almost like they're going steady.

[Jojo]

Heh, heh.

Grey chest hairs!

[ItsOver]

I think at the top of that show George mentioned Linda would be on twice this month.  He must be thinking it's almost like they're going steady.

Hah, thanks, Zeeb.  I wasn't listening since it was just Jorch.    High strangeness two times in one month.  Two more times Jorch can catch up on his sleep.

[albrecht]

The psychiatric establishment should realize that the real therapy for schizos is to attend conferences and be guests on C2C- not just becoming shaman. I seem to recall some schizophrenic was on years ago with Ian and Ian dropped him once the guy admitted that he stopped taking his meds and was rambling on and on about things.
http://nautil.us/issue/58/self/a-mental-disease-by-any-other-name-rp
For Frank Russell, reinterpreting his schizophrenia as shamanism helped his symptoms.

[Gyoza Girl]

maybe we'll get lucky tonight and Dave will play that classic Coast bit of the guy calling in having a conniption describing a traffic accident where a carload of little old ladies beat up a guy with their umbrellas. oh wait, that's not even a Coast call -  that's a testament to how bad a show is when after 20 years you don't have any funny 'best of' bits of your own to play.

You must be psychic! George did end last night's show with that bit.

[Gyoza Girl]

Last night's show on cyber security....Once or twice I have googled a Coast to Coast guest, clicked on a website, and then had a big "Windows Defender Alert" message pop up. It claimed to be from Microsoft and told me to call this phone number, which I wasn't going to do, but it also wouldn't let me X out of it. After panicking for a few minutes, I finally ended up turning off my modem, which seemed to do the trick.

[ItsOver]

You must be psychic! George did end last night's show with that bit.

Gag.  One more of many reasons not to tune in when Jorch is posing as a host.  Crap, Jorch, are yeeewww and two ton Tommee so damn lazy you can't at least slap on something new when you bail early?  Hell, the latest farm report with pork belly prices would be better than that same old schlock.

[albrecht]

Gag.  One more of many reasons not to tune in when Jorch is posing as a host.  Crap, Jorch, are yeeewww and two ton Tommee so damn lazy you can't at least slap on something new when you bail early?  Hell, the latest farm report with pork belly prices would be better than that same old schlock.

It is also amusing that Norry claims listeners are emailing and clamoring him to replay one of his oft played pre-recorded skits/stories. When he really just wants to duck out early. Yeah, the farm report would be more interesting.

[ItsOver]

It is also amusing that Norry claims listeners are emailing and clamoring him to replay one of his oft played pre-recorded skits/stories. When he really just wants to duck out early. Yeah, the farm report would be more interesting.

Whether you like him or not, Clyde Lewis appears to work his butt off with his show and he hasn't had the best health.  Noory is the poster child for lazy bums on corporate/ government welfare. Jorch makes about 1/2 a mil a year or more.  The salary of the Pres is 400K a year, granted with perks.  Good thing Trump doesn't need the money.  Talk about f'd up.