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Messages - SredniVashtar

#151
Random Topics / Re: Celebrity Deaths
September 10, 2022, 08:22:55 AM
Quote from: Juan on September 10, 2022, 08:19:37 AMI think one of King Chuck's first acts should be to compute all of the carbon emissions caused by people flying to the funeral, the flyovers, etc., and inform the people what temperature to keep their homes for how many years to make up for it.

I don't think many people will be thinking about heating their homes much this winter anyway, the bills are set to be horrendous.
#152
Quote from: Dr. MD MD on September 10, 2022, 08:14:10 AMThe Leaning Tower of Pisa hasn't fallen over and neither has he. You can't say the same for your guy, unfortunately.  :(

But he keeps getting up. That fat fuck would need a crane to get him on his feet again.
#153
Random Topics / Re: Celebrity Deaths
September 10, 2022, 08:18:25 AM
Quote from: Yorkshire pud on September 09, 2022, 10:19:52 AMSpeaking of horses. His mother has quite a stable of racehorses. Will they be reduced to dog food/sold to the ghastly French or will he try to summon up the same glee?

I'm hoping for a huge pyre in front of the Victoria Memorial. We can have a massive hecatomb. her maj, the horses, the corgis, the servants. Chuck on a few American tourists while we're about it.
#154
Quote from: Dr. MD MD on September 10, 2022, 08:01:28 AMIt was a joke, you literal moron. You're already halfway to idiot with your own brain. Just keep going.  :D

Ad hominem. I guess that's all you got, you got nowhere else to go.
#155
Random Topics / Re: Celebrity Deaths
September 10, 2022, 07:57:39 AM
Quote from: albrecht on September 09, 2022, 07:39:12 PMI'm hoping he on somewhere about it. Rense should get em. By the way you how many times bakers are praised, or castigated, in the Bible? It is nutso. The Joose loved their bread! Maybe more than gold n shenanigans. Revisiting the 'old books' and it worse than Hollywood or soap opera, but with bread and baker drama!

If she isn't going to lie in state then I will have to start asking questions. Perhaps she reverted to her original lizard form after she died and even the most skilled mortician won't be able to disguise a ten-foot reptile. If it's a closed casket, we'd better check that it's of an ordinary size. If it takes ten people to carry it then I think the whispering will start.
#156
Random Topics / Re: Celebrity Deaths
September 10, 2022, 07:54:21 AM
Quote from: albrecht on September 09, 2022, 06:13:03 PMI love Händel, as mentioned before. And appropriate for a German House having a new Sovereign but it raises some eyebrows if there is a tribal-deal going on also.  ;) Well, I guess, in those feet in ancient times and all that!

You can take that umlaut and stick it right up your arse!
#157
Quote from: Dr. MD MD on September 09, 2022, 03:03:04 PMHey, it's your guy who keeps falling down.

So Trump beats FDR 'cos Trump could stand up? Can I borrow your brain? I'm building an idiot.
#158
Random Topics / Re: Celebrity Deaths
September 09, 2022, 10:04:40 AM
Quote from: K_Dubb on September 09, 2022, 09:59:12 AMCongratulations on a king half of you can't pronounce!  Chawls the Furd oMG hahaha

I'm sure it won't be long before he's christened Charles the Turd. He really should have opted for George VII, which sounds much more regal IMV, but I guess you can't switch horses in mid-stream because it would take too long to explain it to Americans.
#159
Random Topics / Re: Celebrity Deaths
September 09, 2022, 09:57:22 AM
Quote from: K_Dubb on September 09, 2022, 09:37:12 AMYou are a horrible man.  But I just heard the first bong on the teevee say Queen Camiller oh you poor things 🤣

I'm sure that's not true. It's just deafness creeping up on you. Unsurprising in someone of your advancing years. Although the standard of diction is sadly not what it was. It's not uncommon to hear even educated people say 'mumf' for 'month' and 'free' for 'three'. I would like to kill them all.
#160
Random Topics / Re: Celebrity Deaths
September 09, 2022, 09:39:47 AM
Quote from: K_Dubb on September 09, 2022, 09:28:25 AMThey just make the new ones with the new monogram, don't they?  So you just see as they get replaced.  You still see things with OV and H7 in Norway.

Yes, and the vans all have the Royal insignia. People will have to get used to singing 'God Save our gracious Qu...er King'. Lots of little adjustments. They're a long-lived family but you wonder how long he'll last before we get William V.  Edward VII lasted less than 10 years after Queen Victoria died.
#161
Random Topics / Re: Celebrity Deaths
September 09, 2022, 09:33:50 AM
Quote from: K_Dubb on September 09, 2022, 09:24:26 AMOh I would laugh so hard!  But you will just renege on me like you did with Forster's house I am on to your tricks  :(

I pass it quite often. The thought that I have it in my power to do something nice for you, and elect not to, is so intoxicating that I can't give it up easily.
#162
Random Topics / Re: Celebrity Deaths
September 09, 2022, 09:24:20 AM
Quote from: Yorkshire pud on September 09, 2022, 09:09:40 AMYes, she was old. And anyone who has lost an elderly parent or grandparent (depending on child's age) deals with it differently. She had four kids, all but one arguably emotionally stunted or fucked up in other ways.

Hey, the currency will need to be reprinted/re minted. That'll be strange.

Erm why gammons? Asking for a friend. I was asked to leave. Fortunately I know people and it didn't make the papers.

They do tend to have complexions which reflect an immoderate fondness for both grape and grain, hence gammons.

We had a post strike scheduled for today (lots of strikes here right now). It was called off. Hardly surprising as it's The Royal Mail. They will just phase in all the changes gradually for everything. I was wondering, but they will still have ER on postboxes etc. Same for the money. At least for the foreseeable.

I think it was indecent exposure they nailed you for in the end, wasn't it. The next time your trousers are at half past just say you're taking part in the National Mourning.
#163
Random Topics / Re: Celebrity Deaths
September 09, 2022, 09:16:31 AM
Quote from: K_Dubb on September 09, 2022, 09:12:51 AMHave you ordered your memorial china, with a giant floating queen head, yet?

I'm sure the Franklin Mint will be powering up the ovens like never before, selling lots of worthless tat to sad, menopausal females. I'm not too far so I might very well head down there at some point. BellGab special correspondent. Live from the scene!
#164
Random Topics / Re: Celebrity Deaths
September 09, 2022, 08:45:13 AM
Quote from: K_Dubb on September 09, 2022, 08:39:16 AMOh now the monkey is out walking around gladhanding like a common politician, I wonder how many congratulations he has to hear  ;D  congratulations on your kingship, king

I can't wait for the funeral when he "leads the mourners" in that quaint expression of yours that had me in stitches with Dianer: "Ok everyone, on 3: 1, 2, 3" "WAAAH!" reminds one of the wailers-for-hire on Egyptian tombs.

Look at her! Seething with envy, the spiteful little bitch! When you try and do serious occasions it looks like a bunch of retarded kids playing dress-up. First we get the funeral, then the coronation. I might even roast a sheep.
#165
Random Topics / Re: Celebrity Deaths
September 09, 2022, 08:28:35 AM
Quote from: Yorkshire pud on September 09, 2022, 08:10:51 AMI think it's sentimental and more the appreciation of a job well done.

Bear in mind, given the opportunity and the government of the day wanting the Royal family to go to Australia when bombs started dropping on London (including Buck house), they stayed. Elizabeth drove ambulances and maintained them. 9/10's of the UK and Commenwealth population have never known anyone but her as monarch.

So yeah, it will get soppy and dignified in equal measure, the actual funeral and commemoration will be precise to the second. The military escorts etc have rehearsed this and that too will be perfect.

As said, even republicans (small r) who dislike the idea of a monarchy accept the Queen did it right, how many world famous people have had so much affection and respect by so many for seventy years? She's the last if that standing.

And as for silliness, and needless sentimentality, sone Americans can turn on the waterworks if they so much as look at the stars and stripes. Much of it is disingenuous, similar to 'thoughts and prayers'.

I wish people wouldn't talk about the Queen's passing, as though she played in midfield. She died FFS. I was listening to the radio when the announcement was made and Andrew Marr got so choked up he couldn't even speak. Whatever else it might be, it isn't 'sad' when a very elderly woman who nobody actually knew, and was in poor health, dies. I don't suppose we'll get Diana-level hysteria but I am waiting for the first person to say the wrong thing so they can be publicly burned for wrongthink.

Do you know what they call the pink-faced, Brexit-voting, Daily Mail-reading types now? They are known as 'gammons'. You're probably a bit out of touch with modern British idiom since you left (or were asked to leave, I forget which).
#166
Random Topics / Re: Celebrity Deaths
September 09, 2022, 07:52:20 AM
Quote from: K_Dubb on September 09, 2022, 05:27:33 AMThe English are a grotesquely sentimental, profoundly silly people, and now you have a profoundly silly king.

Oh, come off it! The way you lot carry on about 'Amurriker' has always been utterly ridiculous. It's just a fig lead to conceal how moribund and shallow you all are.
#167
Politics / Re: Oh, Canada! ::)
September 09, 2022, 05:23:32 AM
Quote from: K_Dubb on September 07, 2022, 03:27:24 PMYou are thinking of the Malays maybe who run amok in the market and everyone just shrugs and says there goes another one.

Running amok is the most famous one, but there are other delusions that they have, although I can't remember what they call them in Malay right now. There's one where they think their penis is shrinking and they try to tie it to their leg, and another where they get so suggestible that if you tell them they are a bell on a bicycle they will keep on imitating it until they die of exhaustion.
#168
Random Topics / Re: Celebrity Deaths
September 09, 2022, 04:47:27 AM
This is just brilliant. I'm already tired of the sanctimonious bullshit and we need people like this to give a sense of perspective.

#169
Random Topics / Re: Celebrity Deaths
September 09, 2022, 04:04:26 AM
Quote from: Juan on September 08, 2022, 11:54:10 AMWABC reports she has died.  Long live Charles III, right @Yorkshire pud?

That's how it works. It's not the personality of the actual person occupying the throne that's important, it's the institution itself that will live on, no matter who lives or dies. That's the main idea behind the idea of a constitutional monarchy, whether you approve of it or not. She had 15 Prime Ministers in total, and the first one was Winston Churchill, so she stood for continuity, if nothing else.

Apparently he didn't have to use 'Charles'. They have what's called a regnal name, so he could have chosen one of his many other names instead. I  would have gone for 'Arthur' personally, that would have been pretty badass. I'm not sure you really want to be associated with the Charleses, given that one was decapitated after a bloody civil war, and the other was fucking useless: we ended up broke, being secretly supported by Louis XIV, and got invaded by the sodding Dutch.

Charles II was a famous rake and libertine; one of his favourites was Nell Gwynn, who used to sell oranges before she became the King's number one doxy. There's a story of how she was spotted by the crowd one day and they shouted, 'it's the King's Catholic whore', and she replied, 'nay, good people, I'm the Protestant whore.'

There will be wall-to-wall coverage of this now for the next fortnight and I shall be tuning out of most of it. There will be lots of 'royal experts' popping up on TV who would make K_Dubb look butch by comparison. Everyone is going on about how 'sad' it is, but the death of someone nearing their century is just a fact of life, it's nothing to get too upset about, unless you're in the immediate family. Apparently there were the usual weirdos foregathering outside Buck House, weeping and all the rest of it. FFS!

Even the most staunch republican (and I'm on the fence about them, really) has to acknowledge that she was good at what she did - whatever that was. I guess we'll all have a chance to find out now, because if Charles screws the pooch and starts throwing his weight around trying to tell the people in power what to do (and he was quite famous for that at one time, firing off what were known as 'spider memos' to ministers giving his opinions about things) then it might end with the monarchy disappearing from sight altogether.
#170
Quote from: Dr. MD MD on September 08, 2022, 07:45:52 PMYou have to admit, when it comes to walking and standing upright Trump is the better president. :D


'Trump - he could walk and stand upright'. As a summary of his Presidency, I don't think that can be improved upon. You are like a lab experiment for the Dunning-Kruger effect.
#171
Random Topics / Re: SHREDNI FASHTARIII
September 07, 2022, 04:40:53 AM
Quote from: albrecht on September 06, 2022, 09:01:39 PMYP won't even oblige me whether he hates Thatcher or Trump worse who he would back in some kind of underground fight between them. Obviously fantastical since one is dead and other wouldn't show up without a crew much better than some outta work miners.

Trump is worse. Thatcher was at least a serious person, and not dishonest. Trump is just a balloon filled with diabetic piss without a single redeeming quality. He barely even qualifies as a human being.
#172
Politics / Re: Joe Biden 2020
September 06, 2022, 10:35:40 AM
Quote from: K_Dubb on September 06, 2022, 10:29:40 AMI suppose Hector would be me since no one else is going to put on a drag show around here  :(

Well, if you want to run round the walls of Troy while Yorkie tries to impale you with his sword that's up to you. I see you more as Thersites, that scabby, annoying little bastard that nobody liked.
#173
Random Topics / Re: SHREDNI FASHTARIII
September 06, 2022, 10:20:25 AM
Quote from: Yorkshire pud on September 05, 2022, 03:32:56 PMHerself reads it aloud to me when having our coffee in bed...

Probably eating biscuits (that's 'cookies' for you not fortunate enough to born on the right side of the Atlantic) as well, and spreading crumbs everywhere. The bed must look a right state, like you both have psoriasis.
#174
Quote from: WhiteCrow on September 03, 2022, 08:15:58 PMMaybe George would co-host for a fee?

I'm concerned about his health and dental problems.
And if he ever built a compound?

George is visionary with a lot of great ideas. I'd  like an update from the horse's mouth ass.

Love ALL


I'm concerned that he's still alive, if that's what you mean. You'd think having no teeth might have slowed down his food consumption a bit but he's still gnawing away like a mutant hamster at anything edible.

Some might call him 'visionary' others would call him delusional. If you want to make him a donation I'm sure he'd be only to happy to accept it. Make sure that you give him your phone number so that he can call and thank you personally.
#175
Politics / Re: Joe Biden 2020
September 06, 2022, 09:38:55 AM
Quote from: K_Dubb on September 05, 2022, 11:32:37 PMRight, because after all my pitch-perfect poetry, two multi-instrument podcast episodes, deep baking thoughts with references to folklore and history, posts dripping with learned allusions, and the singular effort of holding an entire forum of rabid trumpkins and antivaxxers at bay for a year singlehandedly while you sulked on your hindquarters, all I am to you is the sound of balls on taint  >:(

Yorkie was just biding his time, like Achilles in Troy, waiting for his moment before bursting out and slashing hither and thither with his mighty weapon! I'm not sure who Hector is in this analogy but I'm going with it nevertheless.
#176
Politics / Re: Joe Biden 2020
September 06, 2022, 09:35:25 AM
Quote from: K_Dubb on September 05, 2022, 10:33:57 AMAw that is sweet.  I am sure the stultifying masculine bro-code that prevails here prevents you from lavishing me with the full measure of your affection lest others suspect you are in some way soft, but I have seen through it all along.

You do seem to be very pleased with your new physique, flaunting yourself in these avatars like a common strumpet. At this rate, given five more years of incessant flexing, you might be able to best a 12-year-old girl in an arm-wrestling contest. You go, girl!
#177
Random Topics / Re: SHREDNI FASHTARIII
September 06, 2022, 09:25:01 AM
Some current words and phrases that have been current for a number of years but still annoy the living fuck out of me. Those uneducated fuckbrains from across the Atlantic are mostly responsible for this bullshit.

1. 'Leaning in'. What started as a reasonably useful way of describing a gradual course of action is now used to describe any action whatsoever. People use it all the time now.

2. 'Having said that' or 'with that said'. Repeatedly mindlessly ad nauseam for no reason at all.

3. 'So....'. Yeah, let's all start every sentence with 'so...', as though it's in the middle of something rather than at the start. Why????

4. 'Does that make sense?' This one really boils my piss, it's as though they think you are so fucking dense they need to keep checking that you are following it all. Fuck off!

5. 'Right?' This is said at the end of almost every sentence now, like a bloody parrot. Whenever I hear someone say this I want to rip their fucking arms off and beat them to death with the wet end.

With that said, you are all a bunch of cunts.
#178
Random Topics / Re: SHREDNI FASHTARIII
September 05, 2022, 05:56:21 AM
In the unlikely event that anyone here is wondering who our new Prime Minister is, let me give you a brief synopsis. She is an Instagram-obsessed hag who is out of her depth and will probably drive the country into the ground. Doris Johnson, if you will. She is also obsessed with pork and cheese. We are doomed!

#179
Random Topics / Re: SHREDNI FASHTARIII
September 05, 2022, 05:09:47 AM
Quote from: WOTR on September 04, 2022, 04:33:18 AM*Now that the "experts" finally admit that it is here to stay and everybody (vaccinated or not) will catch it, I feel like I was just ahead of the curve by wanting to just get it over with.  ;)

I don't think you are entirely wrong about this and I am willing to admit that I think it was probably a vast over-reaction, when everything is taken into consideration. When I think of all the people I wanted dead from covid but there are all still alive (not all of them live in Martinez) I can't help thinking that it was not nearly as severe as we were led to believe and it should have been allowed to run its course rather than totally disrupt everything just to let a few people feel important.
#180
Random Topics / Re: SHREDNI FASHTARIII
September 05, 2022, 05:02:39 AM
Quote from: WOTR on September 04, 2022, 05:03:42 AMI believe that such demands can only be made in a "general musings" thread. Unless you can convince MV to rename this thread, you are in no position to dictate the content.

MV is only nominally in charge these days. There's a shadowy eminence grise pulling the strings and MV is a mere puppet dictator now. I'm not sure that changing it to a 'general musings' thread will guarantee that future posts about me will be therefore supportive and insult-free. You are obviously unfamiliar with the original general musings thread.
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