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John B. Wells

Started by HAL 9000, December 30, 2010, 12:18:11 AM

John B. Wells looks like:

A Vulcan
97 (39.6%)
Hank's Japanese half-brother, "Junichero," in King of the Hill eps. 6ABE20-21  
57 (23.3%)
A stoner sufer named "Tracker," who mentored Sean Penn & Keanu Reeves
47 (19.2%)
Frankenstein's Monster
102 (41.6%)
One of those faces on the Sgt. Pepper album (2nd row from the top. Face #5)
66 (26.9%)

Total Members Voted: 245

Quote from: Seraphim27 on December 31, 2013, 07:49:51 PM
I wonder if he's married?

I wish JBW would log in here, if only to talk dirty to me, his one rabid fan. Look, John â€" I have a charming smile and big teeth! And my skin isn't that radiation-orange shade anymore, I swear! And that's not my kid either!...


Careful, Noory once got a restraining order regarding a poster at that other site

FallenSeraph

Quote from: West of the Rockies on December 31, 2013, 07:55:02 PM
Uh, I can do a very passable Wells impression... would that do?  ;)

:D

Quote from: Paper*Boy on December 31, 2013, 07:58:16 PM

Careful, Noory once got a restraining order regarding a poster at that other site

REALLY? What's that story!? I wanna hear it!


FallenSeraph

Quote from: tertiaryimam on December 31, 2013, 08:05:13 PM
[attachimg=1]

LOL - I save these in a folder on my desktop for when I need a laugh.

Although I assure you that neither of you needs a restraining order against me.  :o

(feeling paranoid now)

I love you, John, but you know I'm just kidding, right? John?  JOHN??

(Maybe one day he'll answer and it'll be a tiny moment of joy in my bleak, colorless life.)

tertiaryimam

See, what's wrong with all you bellgabbers is you could make memes like I do using MSN paint like I do, and cause real societal change. Wouldn't you want to see John B Wells as a genuine meme, outside the environs of Bellgab? Wouldn't you like to see him do a press conference addressing it? Wouldn't you like to see him shamed into cleaning up his tacky act?

You have the power. I am only one Imam. I can take you to the mountain, but I cannot make the mountain drink fish for life.

Remember when Art Bell did those mind experiments? It's like that. You just take that single Google image of John B Wells, open it up in the pain program, add a black border, use the "IMPACT" font, and let your imagination soar.

We could turn this world around, trust me.

2014 is our year.

tertiaryimam

Quote from: Seraphim27 on December 31, 2013, 08:13:03 PM
LOL - I save these in a folder on my desktop for when I need a laugh.


You should check out the "General Musings of Falkie" Thread. It's the most epic shit since Art Bell quit.

FallenSeraph

Quote from: tertiaryimam on December 31, 2013, 08:13:25 PM
See, what's wrong with all you bellgabbers is you could make memes like I do using MSN paint like I do, and cause real societal change. Wouldn't you want to see John B Wells as a genuine meme, outside the environs of Bellgab? Wouldn't you like to see him do a press conference addressing it? Wouldn't you like to see him shamed into cleaning up his tacky act?

You have the power. I am only one Imam. I can take you to the mountain, but I cannot make the mountain drink fish for life.

Remember when Art Bell did those mind experiments? It's like that. You just take that single Google image of John B Wells, open it up in the pain program, add a black border, use the "IMPACT" font, and let your imagination soar.

We could turn this world around, trust me.

2014 is our year.

[attachimg=1]


tertiaryimam

Quote from: Seraphim27 on December 31, 2013, 08:42:41 PM
[attachimg=1]

See that, Bellgab bastards?

Now you, too, most go and do.

In time John B. Wells will get wind of this, then obsessively track down every last meme. He will read everything. Probably over a "proper cup o' tea" or something stupid like that. He'll probably be wearing suspenders, too --- making sure no one with a camera is within snapping distance of him in such a condition.

2014 is our year.

[attachimg=1]

FallenSeraph

Quote from: tertiaryimam on December 31, 2013, 08:46:26 PM
See that, Bellgab bastards?

Now you, too, most go and do.

In time John B. Wells will get wind of this, then obsessively track down every last meme. He will read everything. Probably over a "proper cup o' tea" or something stupid like that.

I'll make him a proper cup of tea.  ;)


Quote from: Seraphim27 on December 31, 2013, 08:03:27 PM
:D

REALLY? What's that story!? I wanna hear it!


Well, heh, perhaps if you deluged John (certainly George) with notes, emails, the occasional gift card for Starbucks (etc), and attend the various events he schedules, you too might receive one.

A few posts involving poems and tales of unrequited love couldn't hurt.

FallenSeraph

Quote from: Paper*Boy on December 31, 2013, 09:03:42 PM

Well, heh, perhaps if you deluged John (certainly George) with notes, emails, the occasional gift card for Starbucks (etc), and attend the various events he schedules, you too might receive one.

A few posts involving poems and tales of unrequited love couldn't hurt.

A WOMAN did that to George?? And he didn't like it??!! What, she was stalking him?? What is this "other forum" of which you speak, and can I find evidence of her unrequited love on a thread over there? Please PM me if you have to. This is juicy stuff!

Haha, I would never do that to poor John. I'm too shy to stalk somebody or even talk to them for that matter. Goofing around on a forum, sure, but that's about as gutsy as I get when it comes to expressing my affection for John "Phone Sex Fantasy" B. Wells.

FallenSeraph

Quote from: tertiaryimam on December 31, 2013, 08:56:55 PM
[attachimg=1]

Laughed so loud it skeered the cat.

Damn, you have enriched my life, tertiary. Seriously, you bring me joy. :)

tertiaryimam

Quote from: Paper*Boy on December 31, 2013, 09:03:42 PM

Well, heh, perhaps if you deluged John (certainly George) with notes, emails, the occasional gift card for Starbucks (etc), and attend the various events he schedules, you too might receive one.

A few posts involving poems and tales of unrequited love couldn't hurt.


Here is a picture of Noory's stalker:

[attachimg=1]

Some of their other antics can be read about here:

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2267180/Tamieka-Butler-Shocking-transformation-unlicensed-transvestite-injected-silicone-patients-buttocks-motel-room-closed-wounds-Krazy-Glue.html

I actually feel bad for George on this one.

"After she took off her clothes, Butler used a felt-tip pen to mark crosses on areas of her buttocks that he believed 'needed fullness', she told authorities. He then injected a clear substance - which he told her was 'sterile silicone' - into her buttocks using a syringe and after wiping away any fluid, applied Krazy Glue to the incisions, she said."

. . . to the sound of Coast to Coast AM, no doubt.

tertiaryimam

Quote from: Seraphim27 on December 31, 2013, 09:16:38 PM
Laughed so loud it skeered the cat.

Damn, you have enriched my life, tertiary. Seriously, you bring me joy. :)


Yr welcome. Tell your cat I apologize.

This mugshot of Bill Murray might calm them down:

[attachimg=1]


FallenSeraph

Quote from: tertiaryimam on December 31, 2013, 09:28:13 PM

Yr welcome. Tell your cat I apologize.

This mugshot of Bill Murray might calm them down:

[attachimg=1]

Sheeeeeezus when did this happen???

Quote from: Seraphim27 on December 31, 2013, 09:15:11 PM
A WOMAN did that to George?? And he didn't like it??!!...


That was the head scratching part


Quote from: Seraphim27 on December 31, 2013, 09:15:11 PM
... What, she was stalking him?? What is this "other forum" of which you speak, and can I find evidence of her unrequited love on a thread over there? Please PM me if you have to. This is juicy stuff!...


It was at GLP, where the first 'The Original George Noory Sucks' thread began.  The funniest and best 3500 pages in the history of the internet.  Then one day it was all just gone.  Deleted.  There were different stories about why, but none of them made any sense.

Another thread was started up over there, quickly got to 2500 pages or so, and was then also deleted.  I think by that time MV's site was in existence.

tertiaryimam

Quote from: Seraphim27 on December 31, 2013, 10:37:28 PM
Sheeeeeezus when did this happen???


Bill Murray mouthed off to the wrong people. He got set straight. That's all that I know, and all I need to know.

Bill, watch it, bub. Not everyone finds your brand of humor truly humorous. You worthless piece of panda polar bear shit. I hated every goddamn second of "Lost in Translation." More like "Lost in Crapslation."

Haha.  8)

tertiaryimam

Quote from: Paper*Boy on December 31, 2013, 11:31:49 PM

That was the head scratching part



I think Noory prefers the company of owls to human beings.

[attachimg=1]

cweb

Quote from: tertiaryimam on January 01, 2014, 12:20:30 AM

I think Noory prefers the company of owls to human beings.

[attachimg=1]

Owls are quite good at finding toomeric.

RedMichael

Quote from: tertiaryimam on December 31, 2013, 09:28:13 PM

Yr welcome. Tell your cat I apologize.

This mugshot of Bill Murray might calm them down:

[attachimg=1]




And the original. The photoshopper did some good things but a lotta bad.

VtaGeezer

Saturday...
Dr. Jonathan Fellus and Dr. Phil DeFina are with the nonprofit International Brain Research Foundation which treats coma patients and claims to have helped hundreds of people deemed brain dead awaken from comas. They join John B. Wells to determine if his brain may still be active and could benefit from new treatments.

It was too easy.

Gd5150

Guess who's back tomorrow...yeah baby, the hipster himself, John B Wells. Haha!!! Let the whining begin.

Nebraska888

Quote from: Gd5150 on January 04, 2014, 03:31:23 AM
Guess who's back tomorrow...yeah baby, the hipster himself, John B Wells. Haha!!! Let the whining begin.

May I have the honor of being the first whiner.......... :-X   :-\   :'(   :P

My John B. Wells theme, with apologies to Mary Tyler Moore:

Who can turn the world off with his snarl?
Who can take a nothing day, and suddenly make it all seem completely hopeless?
Well it's you John, and you should know it,
With each glare and paranoid tic you sure show it
Doom is all around, no need to waste it
You can nuke a town why don't you take it!
We're not gonna make it anyway, after all.
We're not gonna make it anyway, after all.

(ps I have a secret Jones for Johnny B., myself!)


MikeJ

Quote from: Gd5150 on January 04, 2014, 03:31:23 AM
Guess who's back tomorrow...yeah baby, the hipster himself, John B Wells. Haha!!! Let the whining begin.

So much for the short-lived hope he had been given the boot.  I should have known PremRat wouldn't do something that good.

Morgus

Wells is back tonight to host his regular Sat night c2c gig for 2014...

VtaGeezer

Quote from: MikeJ on January 04, 2014, 04:00:20 PM
So much for the short-lived hope he had been given the boot.
The source for the rumor was Wells himself; a perverse form of self-promotion. No doubt he'll use it as the basis to thump his chest in a few weeks: "They tried to get rid of me for speaking The Truth and failed."  Chutzpah and brass pay a lot better than intelligence and honety nowadays.  We are sooo fooked.

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