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George Noory Sucks! - The Definitive Compendium

Started by MV/Liberace!, April 06, 2008, 01:23:02 AM

Can Noory pronounce anything correctly?

No
No

eddie dean

"the 3 major TV networks had to do prime-time programing all the time"

--Jorch nWhorie

fotd

So sickening that he calls it his "television" show.  It's not even on the level of public access shows from the 80's.  At least they can actually say they aired on actual television.

You know something is fucked up when a man's uncyclopedia page comes up before his wikipedia page.
FFS

Morgus

Noory thought they launched all of James "Scotty" Doohan's ashes in a rocket and the launched failed but they recovered his ashes to launch again?
Wrong Noory, that company only launches a small thimble-sized container of some of each client's ashes so they can hold lots of such tiny containers per launch.
So there was a lot of Scotty's ashes left after the first launch was lost.
Noory also thought the ashes were on the moon, but the launches were only into earth orbit and the tiny thimble-sized containers with the ashes probably burn up in the earth's atmosphere eventually.

http://uncyclopedia.wikia.com/wiki/George_Noory

Heh

Quote
The Suck Scale George Noory sucks and it's scientific fact, as proven by the Suck Scale. Invented in 2003 the Suck Scale measures how much something sucks and to what degree of suckage, the Suck Scale is measured in donkey dick sucks from 0 to 2012, with 2012 being the highest known suckage. While most scientist argue over what sucks and at what degree of suckage the suck belongs. The current lowest suckage is finding 100 bucks on the floor which is measured at 0 donkey dick sucks. Its scientific consensus that George Noory is the current known highest suck, at a whopping 2012 donkey dick sucks! There is currently nothing that's at a higher suckage than that! Of course there are a few fringe scientist that claim George Noory's suckage is actually 2011 or 2013 and even 1999 but those views are far and few between and 2012 donkey dick sucks is the accepted number.

fotd

"Back in Los Angeles, I have about 12 desks of books."

George has about 12 desks?  wtf?

Quote from: Morgus on May 11, 2013, 12:55:41 AM
Noory thought they launched all of James "Scotty" Doohan's ashes in a rocket and the launched failed but they recovered his ashes to launch again?
Wrong Noory, that company only launches a small thimble-sized container of some of each client's ashes so they can hold lots of such tiny containers per launch.
So there was a lot of Scotty's ashes left after the first launch was lost.
Noory also thought the ashes were on the moon, but the launches were only into earth orbit and the tiny thimble-sized containers with the ashes probably burn up in the earth's atmosphere eventually.

Damned, it sounds like I've been missing another night of classic Noory.

Quote from: fotd on May 11, 2013, 01:10:39 AM
"Back in Los Angeles, I have about 12 desks of books."

George has about 12 desks?  wtf?

A desk of books?  That's a measure I hadn't heard of.  I guess he hasn't heard of bookshelves so he just has to keep stacking desks on top of each other.  If they're anything like the fold out desks we had at university he might get about half a book on each one.

Morgus

Noory is having a contest of sorts tonight during open lines with some staff member judging the caller's stories and the story judged 'best' will win a set of 12 books from various guests.

Quote from: onan on May 10, 2013, 04:35:59 PM

This is a really complicated question. Statins do more than decreasing cholesterol they also have some anti-inflamatory effect. So... as people age their memories are sometimes affected. Some studies say that roughly 10 percent of people over 65 have some amount of dementia. I would agree. Dementias however are not all the same beast. So... the short of it as one ages there is more likely the use of statins and there is also an increase of dementia.


This site may give you some answers or at least help ask better questions to you doctor (not saying your question wasn't a good one).


http://www.medscape.com/viewarticle/458867_4

This is along the lines of what I was wondering.

valdez

Quote from: Georgie For President 2216 on May 11, 2013, 01:37:48 AM
...I guess he hasn't heard of bookshelves...

     I've maintained that George knows, and cares, nothing about Star Trek, and tonight's interview with Stephen Schochet only affirms my belief.  All of his questions were provided for him by the guest.  "I'm a Star Trek fan, but I'm not a Trekkie."  Yeah.  Whatever, George.  And what's wrong with getting all of your guest to sign their books and incorporating them in that cool library you got at home?  Nothing, except you gotta give a rats butt for books first, and I don't think he does, so he gives them away to the caller with the story he deems most interesting and...eh...actually, some guy named "Will" was judging the stories.  Because George can't be bothered...with deciding...things.
 
fascinating

Juan

I guess this is the best place to put this.  Last night Michael Savage was having an open lines show, though he did give callers some direction by playing controversial sound bites at the beginning of each hour. 

With regard to open lines shows, Savage said, "For most hosts, this means absolutely no show prep at all."

So, George, what are you doing those 8-hours before the Friday night shows?

stevesh

Quote from: Morgus on May 11, 2013, 01:57:39 AM
Noory is having a contest of sorts tonight during open lines with some staff member judging the caller's stories and the story judged 'best' will win a set of 12 books from various guests.

Eleven copies of Worker In The Light, and one Love By The Numbers.

ItsOver

Quote from: UFO Fill on May 11, 2013, 07:34:09 AM

....With regard to open lines shows, Savage said, "For most hosts, this means absolutely no show prep at all."

So, George, what are you doing those 8-hours before the Friday night shows?


I'm probably going out on a limb here but I'd hazard a guess that Jorch is doing the same thing during those "exscruusheatin" 8-hours of show prep for Friday that he's doing for his other shows.  Nothing.

ItsOver

Quote from: stevesh on May 11, 2013, 07:45:10 AM
Eleven copies of Worker In The Light, and one Love By The Numbers.


Hahahah... ;D .  From looking at Jorch, he's definitely got to have "Love for Losers" but I think he's lost his copy of "Dressing for Success."

I was sleepless so I listened to open lines last night.
I still have not recovered and may have lost 10 points on my IQ


BUT..
I am still insulted that Noory stole SOME VELVET MORNING ..


ItsOver

It should be a crime.  Cusco, Some Velvet Morning, and The Chase should all be retired as a tribute to Art.  I know there are other selections that just said "Art Bell is on the air and taking us for a ride" but those come immediately to mind.  Noory playing "Midnight in the Desert" should be a felony.  Fortunately, I don't think he's dared doing that, yet.

ItsOver

Just thought of another selection that says "Art Bell" to me.  Of course there's ABBA, of which The Nooron has shamelessly overused, but Art had some other  "off-beat" selections from his time such as, of all things, "Jigzaw."



Jigsaw-Sky High.


I don't believe Noory's "support staff" has picked-up on that one, yet.  I wonder how many times this week, though, C2C will be spinning "Dancing Queen?"

Quote from: Morgus on May 11, 2013, 01:57:39 AM
Noory is having a contest of sorts tonight during open lines with some staff member judging the caller's stories and the story judged 'best' will win a set of 12 books from various guests.
So who won the copies of Juggs, Swank, OUI, Velvet, Hustler, Over40, Penthouse, Club.. last night?

Morgus

Quote from: General Johnson Jameson on May 11, 2013, 11:57:38 AM
So who won the copies of Juggs, Swank, OUI, Velvet, Hustler, Over40, Penthouse, Club.. last night?
Noory noted usually he just lays them all out on the studio's kitchen or coffee table and the staff can take them or read them...

MV/Liberace!

Quote from: General Johnson Jameson on May 11, 2013, 12:55:09 AM
You know something is fucked up when a man's uncyclopedia page comes up before his wikipedia page.
FFS


heh heh

ItsOver

Quote from: Morgus on May 11, 2013, 12:31:59 PM
Noory noted usually he just lays them all out on the studio's kitchen or coffee table and the staff can take them or read them...


Glad to hear somebody might be reading all the "fine" literature Noory gets.  I can't imagine Noory reading much of anything, including the instructions on a box of pizza rolls.

Morgus

Near the end of the Friday night shows during open lines you can hear in Noory's voice his desire to get out of there and drive to his nearby mini-mart for his late nite snack, a cold turkey sandwich...

Quote from: ItsOver on May 11, 2013, 02:40:54 PM

Glad to hear somebody might be reading all the "fine" literature Noory gets.  I can't imagine Noory reading much of anything, including the instructions on a box of pizza rolls.
One has to wonder how close in conjunction this table containing this literature is to the men's room or Noary's personal, private in-studio shitter. I know he has one.

Quote from: ItsOver on May 11, 2013, 11:42:37 AM
Just thought of another selection that says "Art Bell" to me. 


This one was classic Art!

Yes, I believe Noary is a walking asspocket. He's such a narcissist imo, he'd shove himself up his own ass and hide to avoid asking a direct, relevant follow-up.

VtaGeezer

Tuned in intermittantly Friday night.  What a waste of radio waves. The elderly woman caller near the end of the show was a prime example of what a train wreck C2C has become under Noory's insipid ineptness; she was so wrenchingly pathetic yet articulate that I wondered if she was reading a script.
C2C open lines, once the incubator of wierd and curious caller tales like  "Mel's Hole", or "I shot Bigfoot" or "I'm goin' in now... (to Area 51)"  has under Noory sunk to being audio voyeurism exploiting the pathos of late night loneliness and paranoia.

Juan

Quote from: VtaGeezer on May 12, 2013, 10:53:40 AM
Tuned in intermittantly Friday night.  What a waste of radio waves. The elderly woman caller near the end of the show was a prime example of what a train wreck C2C has become under Noory's insipid ineptness; she was so wrenchingly pathetic yet articulate that I wondered if she was reading a script.
No script -she's just repeated the story so often that no one will have anything to do with her anymore.

ItsOver

Quote from: Morgus on May 11, 2013, 05:11:31 PM
Near the end of the Friday night shows during open lines you can hear in Noory's voice his desire to get out of there and drive to his nearby mini-mart for his late nite snack, a cold turkey sandwich...


Is he still playing "nails-scratching-a-chalkboard" UFO Phil?  So... any remaining listeners after Noory bails-out early are losing their meals while Noory is "feasting"  ???  on his choice, pre-packed turkey sandwich?

ItsOver

Quote from: Mind Flayer Monk on May 12, 2013, 06:19:03 AM

This one was classic Art!


Absolutely!  Art could come-up with some off-beat selections but were still known pop selections for their time.  Anybody think of some others that said "A. Bell is cruising the night skies?"  Could probably start another thread on "Art's music," if it isn't already somewhere here on CG.

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