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Just found out my ex-wife has cancer

Started by The General, October 10, 2012, 12:22:20 AM

Some very surprising, honest and damn funny responses here.

Your situation is extremely personal and there are a lot of hypotheticals involved, maybe too many for your internet pals to disentangle. Of course you can only do what is best for you, so in ten years looking back will you regret your decision? That's the most important thing here.

From the details you posted here's what I would do: send a card with a short note on it acknowledging the situation and hoping for the best for her. Sign it from you and your current wife. If she responds with a card or letter, just burn the envelope right out and go on with things. Maybe even tell her in your note that you heard about her situation from a friend and wanted to send along well wishes, but make it clear that you don't want to start a dialogue.

Whatever you choose I'm sure it will be a wise choice. For yours is indeed the path of awesomeness, General. *salute*

MV/Liberace!

you should work some overtime so that you can pay an actor to go in posing as a doctor to give her false hope.

conbrio

First off, sorry to hear about your X I wouldn't wish that on anyone. Show her you are bigger than her and give her a call, If she rejects you then forget it, move on. You did care once.

The General

Quote from: Agent : Orange on October 12, 2012, 04:34:09 AM
Some very surprising, honest and damn funny responses here.

Your situation is extremely personal and there are a lot of hypotheticals involved, maybe too many for your internet pals to disentangle. Of course you can only do what is best for you, so in ten years looking back will you regret your decision? That's the most important thing here.

From the details you posted here's what I would do: send a card with a short note on it acknowledging the situation and hoping for the best for her. Sign it from you and your current wife. If she responds with a card or letter, just burn the envelope right out and go on with things. Maybe even tell her in your note that you heard about her situation from a friend and wanted to send along well wishes, but make it clear that you don't want to start a dialogue.

Whatever you choose I'm sure it will be a wise choice. For yours is indeed the path of awesomeness, General. *salute*
I was impressed with the responses too.  I knew I would be, there's sure a group of smart and funny people here.  Thanks for the input. 

Quote from: MV on October 12, 2012, 04:18:22 PM
you should work some overtime so that you can pay an actor to go in posing as a doctor to give her false hope.
Always the compassionate response from my friend MV.  lol.

Quote from: conbrio on October 22, 2012, 03:34:33 PM
First off, sorry to hear about your X I wouldn't wish that on anyone. Show her you are bigger than her and give her a call, If she rejects you then forget it, move on. You did care once.
Thanks, but it's not a rejection that I fear.  And yes, I did care once.  She spent most of our marriage trying to make me so frustrated that I would leave her so that she could be done with it AND still look like a victim.  She's a manipulative sociopath, in my opinion.  So, while I have fully forgiven her and never think about it anymore...  (I'm now happily married to a beautiful, smart, loving gal 15 years younger than me) ... what I don't want is for the Ex to think that it's okay to communicate with me now. 

So, while I wish her the best, and I wouldn't wish cancer on her,  I don't think I'll be contacting her.  I've had time to think about it since my initial post here, and many members here helped me make the decision.  But in the end, my only reason for contacting her would have been out of feeling guilty if I didn't, but that's just because I'm a normal person.  It's not worth reopening a line of communication with her, and not worth making my current wife wonder if I still have secret feelings for the Ex.  Not worth it. 

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