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George Noory Sucks! - The Definitive Compendium

Started by MV/Liberace!, April 06, 2008, 01:23:02 AM

Can Noory pronounce anything correctly?

No
No

Loui Zoot

Noory is a zombie, an old decaying zombie, perhaps a victim of one of those human mutilation cases.

Quote from: Meegle on August 07, 2008, 02:48:11 PM
"Could you hover indefinitely?" (Almost as good as "...could it be a portal?")

"I don't want to take a fucking non-stop flight." - George Carlin

CAMAZOTZ  AUTOMAT



*Also sprach Zarathustra, op. 30 plays as the lead-in*

Wed. August 6th - The Meanings Behind the Cymbals: Maxwell's Demon

GN talks about "Shotgun Jackie" from last night (See what can be missed when you fall asleep!) and her progress over the last 24 hours. Regardless of my heartless nom du jour for the lady, I'm sure we all hope for the best for her. Vulcanologist R.B. Tromblay swings by to discuss hot earth in California.

Dr. Paul Moller and Bruce Calkins drop in to discuss.......what else, The Skycar! Moller lets us know that Moller Intl. is now focusing on production of the older 200 series saucers rather then those hot flyin' cherry rockets....the much vaunted yet never flaunted......The Skycar!(400 Series).*The Skycar is such a tragic topic for me, it hurts to talk about it*  Calkins states that he's looking forward to the future of travel -  teleportation. The 200 series are going for around a measly $100,000 , while you can save 3 months pay if you so choose and drop half a mil for the 400 series, due out in 2006 2007 2008 2009 2010 2011.

Occult researcher Jordan Maxwell and his padawan, alternate historian Michael Tsarion, rock the coast with  juicy info on Secret societies and their ways of controlling the sheeple.  Pretty interesting interview, although they didn't really say too much about any one thing. Tsarion appears to be an young, Irish version of Maxwell on a steady diet of fire, brimstone, and Colcannon. I tried to pass out during open lines but these guys had me hooked enough to keep on keepin' on. Makes me wanna go out and watch Zeitgeist.*I hear ya "Mouse" Dumais! Hey, Mojiro - I Command You To Watch This Movie!*

George's Gem of the Night - In The Beginning......When talked turned to the thermal anomaly in California, which George mentioned had reached temperatures of 800o, he introduces...well, it went something like this -
George - "Dr. J.B. Tromblay is a Vulcanologist, and J.B. welcome to the show, and that's gotta be pretty hot."
R.B. - "Hi George, and it's R.B., not J.B...."
George - "um-kay"
R.B. - "...That's a scotch George, hehehe."
George - "HARHARHARHAR, That's right! Harharhar....*pause*.....How hot is this, and why?"
Ummmm, About 800o, duh! Adding insult to injury, George finishes of the segment with "He's our Chief Vulcanologist, whenever we have stories like this....that's pretty darn hot!" Good looking out for the little people.


MV/Liberace!

this is my favorite section of GNS and i'm always thrilled when i see a new contribution such as the above work of art.  the content in this corner of the site is, to me, like the bits of cookie dough in a pint of ben and jerry's.  although that product tends to give me a lactose shit that could only be described as punishment, i continually come back for more.  i hope my paltry attempt at analogy in this state of intense sleep deprivation has made sense.

regarding snoor's local-news-like tendencies, i have to point out that he was a news director at some dump-hole tv (i think tv) station in detroit for a few years.  it's one of the reasons he definitely blows mule shaft.  he has carried his news "training" over to this show, and he should be facially raped for doing this.

i too am disgusted when a teleprompter reading douche reads a story about some guy in trenton who was just busted for running a baby-slave work farm or some such nonsense, only to follow it up with, "What a tragic story."  The female reporter then gives the obligatory attempt at improvised agreement, and then they move on to talk about how the high school yahtzee team managed a triumphant 4th place finish at the state championship.  i HATE HATE HATE local news people.  they should just die.

to follow in the fine tradition of meegle's thread, i CRINGE when george starts a call out by greeting the sycophant on the other end with a protracted, child-like HIeeee.  GAG!  i could just bathe with a blowdryer when i hear that.  we get it, george.  you're friendly.  bleh.

MV/Liberace!

hey meegle... i noticed you had broken down your daily slurring observations into individual threads for each broadcast.  i went ahead and in the spirit of consistency, simplicity, and organization combined all of those threads into this 1 big mega-thread.  that way you (and everybody else) can just come to one centralized location for said slurrings.  it's kinda reminiscent of the way phan posts his daily show rundowns in the same thread and people comment as he delivers it.

i have also set this topic sticky.

i certainly hope you don't peter out in posting these slur recaps because it sure as shit is some great reading.

EvB

Quote from: PhantasticSanShiSan on August 07, 2008, 11:28:06 PM
*Also sprach Zarathustra, op. 30 plays as the lead-in*

Wed. August 6th - The Meanings Behind the Cymbals: Maxwell's Demon

GN talks about "Shotgun Jackie" from last night (See what can be missed when you fall asleep!) and her progress over the last 24 hours. Regardless of my heartless nom du jour for the lady, I'm sure we all hope for the best for her.


To borrow one of MV's expletives: SWEET JESUS CHRIST IN A SIDECAR!

Look, this may not be GN fault.  Even the very best radio announcer should not be expected to play shrink.  Nor should they necessarily avoid using their celebrity (no mater how minor or undeserved) to make people feel better.  BUT - this woman is ILL.  As in I-L-L ILL!  Ask me - I know.  I worked as a mental health case worker for a dozen yeas before i had my son (at which point I dicided I only had enough "Mom juice" for one arena) I'm neither a doctor or a nurse - but i sure as shit can recognize a classic pattern when  see one.

I also "suffer from" (yeah, that's how they say it, even if you don't particularly "suffer") a major depressive disorder myself - which, thank God, menopause, medication, and hard work on my part has more or less under control. (I say "more or less" cuz like anyone I have my bad days - it's just that in my case I can't just PRESUME a bad day will go by, even if it usually does.  I have to go on yellow alert.)

YES the attention this woman got will make her feel like a million bucks by comparison.  Isolation is actually part of the SYMPTOMOLOGY of most mental illness.  Relive a symptom, you feel lots better - right?

The problem?  Sooner or later Shotgun Jackie's friends and family are going to go back to their usual routine.  That's human nature.  The high form her brief interaction with celebrity will wear off.  That;s ALSO human nature.  Then what?

What has happened here, friends, is that a pretty band aide has been put on an ulcer.  looks real nice - even feels significantly soothed - but the rot continues.

I've seen this shit at least 100 times.  Here is how i imagiene it went:

GN:  Jackie - this is George, how are you?

SJ:  I'm wonderful now, all thanks to you George.

GN: Well thanks Jackie - but I suggest you get some professional help, because this could be serious. 

SJ:  Oh, no, George - I have my friends and family around me now - and you've been great.

GN:  I only wish you the best Jackie.  Hope to hear form you again.

SJ:  Thanks George, God bless you.

GN: Bye

Chances are, the nest time we hear about Shotgun Jackie - it will be in the obits.

Okay - she's one person and shit happens.  So what's the problem?

THE FUCKING PROBLEM IS that once again, the myth has been perpetrated that this kind of disorder can be treated with a one-shot miracle!  One size fits all.

Ev is now going to catch her breath, take her morning meds, and get back to her own life. 

But ---- DAMN!

PS: keep in mind that Shotgun Jackie is not only depressed - she is at least borderline psychotic. She was HEARING VOICES.  Now, I will hand one thing to George - give the devil his due dudes! - the SHOW was about mind control - and hearing voices.  Out off all the at least slightly nutty Calls George got,  he  recognized one that was truly abnormal, and responded. I suspect he may have missed one other - but after all - he was on air live - and this person was babbling incoherently - this was RIGHT AFTER the Shotgun Jackie incident - and he's not a shrink.

Let's all chip in and have some custom band aides made with GNs pick on 'em.  Why not?  They'll work just as well as what went on in this case. Let's use my magical miricle mosaic image.  Save design effort.

Can you tell I'm pissed?

Meegle

No prob on the consolidation...but....what does it mean to have a thread that is "sticky"? I swear I cleaned up when I was done!

:P

Meegle

About the guest Tsarion...

Anyone hear this guy? I was wondering what your take on him was.

To me he sounds very intelligent. Excellent vocabulary. Engaging. Although when he began to talk about Jordan Maxwell it felt a little over the top with his seeming worship of the man. (Maybe a little altar-boy/Priest action?)

But seriously, I remember thinking that George was giving Tsarion a lot of air-time....A LOT of air-time. Is it just me or is it rare that George shuts up? Usually he's very interrupting but with this guest he was silent! It was awesome. I couldn't help but wonder if George (ever) feels inferior (intelligence-wise) while talking to his guests? I'm sure he does (as we all must from time to time in life) but there's a sadistic part of me that wishes that George was CONSTANTLY aware of his inferiority as much as he makes us aware of it.



"Can I get a 'Harumph' from anyone?"

Spikegirl

Quote from: Meegle on August 08, 2008, 09:39:59 AM
About the guest Tsarion...

I couldn't help but wonder if George (ever) feels inferior (intelligence-wise) while talking to his guests? I'm sure he does (as we all must from time to time in life) but there's a sadistic part of me that wishes that George was CONSTANTLY aware of his inferiority as much as he makes us aware of it.


"Can I get a 'Harumph' from anyone?"



I am sure that George knows he's as thick as a plank. Does he care? Now that's another story. Tsarion had been on before about 2 years ago. He sounds intelligent, but I wonder about the validity of what he says. I really question a lot of the guests these days. There was a time when I first started listening when I was more gullible and I placed more credence in what they typical C2C guest had to say.

Spikegirl

Quote from: Meegle on August 08, 2008, 09:25:25 AM
No prob on the consolidation...but....what does it mean to have a thread that is "sticky"? I swear I cleaned up when I was done!

:P

It means that is is *pinned* or *stuck* to the top of the thread list, therefore getting more views than the threads at the bottom of the page or on the following pages.


Meegle

Is it just me or every time George signs off...does it sound like he says George Nappy?




AUGUST 7th SLURRINGS and general idiocies...

(Note that my use of ELLIPSES (...) in the following are to denote George's dramatic (i.e. brainfart) pauses.)

"....typic......cally..."

"...aheadiva....a..."   (wow, these 2 under the one minute mark)

"...exspearmint..."  (experiment?)

"...shelfs..."  (shelves?)

"..underneath the freature article..."  (feature?)

"....this is a great story...there's a marriage that's...made....in....Heaven."      (ugh)

"...and I just wanted to get Alex perspective..."   (I believe the subject should show ownership by adding an apostrophe and an S right?)

"...he's award-winning film............maker..."  (damn those synapses.)

"...and all of these buhzar things..."   (Bizarre? Bazaar? Babar?)

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
"He is a shining light in the world of B.S. we live in."  (A caller's opinion of Alex Jones.)
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"...people like George Carlin dying........Ritter dying......John Ritter.......Ritter dying.......GOSH!"   (idiot)

"...Buhlee me..."   (Believe me?)

"Could George Burns have lived longer if he'd have taken turmeric more often?"  (The eternal question; along with 'Could George Burns have been a portal?')

(Both George and the guest seem to think the spice is pronounced two-mooric.)

"...perstrib...perscribed..."  (prescribed?)

"...absolutely..."   (just something to say I guess.)

"...three and a halfs seers ago..."   (3 and half years ago.)

"...and the success is astrononomically high?"   (A larger number than just 'astronomically'.)

"AMAZING!"  (George stupefied)

"THAT'S AMAZING!"  (George Stupid-fied)

"Indeed indeed!!"  (WHY DOES HE SAY THIS?!?!?!?!?)

"...Gabiel Cousins..."  (GabRiel you mushmouth mofo.)

"Oh my Gosh."  (Nooryfied Cerebral Air Biscuit Overload)

"Gah-...."     (...- sh?)

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Dialogue:

Guest: "With LIVE foods we mean uncooked, non-microwaved, non- processed..."

George (interrupting): "Are we talking VEGGIES?!?!?!?!?"

(Why can't there be a guest that lets George know how literally stupid he sounds?)
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"When they go back to their Doctor Gabiel, their diabetic Doctor...?    (Would you see a Doctor that had diabetes?)

"...considered to be one of the wurtz authorities on natural health..."  (Worlds: a one syllabled word.)


----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Dialogue:

Guest: "How are you doing George?

George: "I'm doin' Gwell..."   (Gwell? What might be called a consonated-diphthong problem.)
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------


"My Gosh."   (The signpost for not knowing what to say.)

Guest:   "Rejuvative."    (Rejuvative?)

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Here's an example of how George doesn't listen.

Guest: "I'm a raw foodist George. I've been into raw foods for 15 years now."

(And under 2 minutes later comes the question from George...)

George: "David, how long have you been practicing this?"

(Ladies and Gents...George is a %&^@$ Ass-#%^*!!!)
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------


(Side note: Apparently George has never heard of a Goji berry so much so he asks how to spell it. Sad story.)


"...this hour we're gonna take your calls about stem cells, hearts, herbs, you name ith..."    (Like Joe Namath?)



----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
(After a break and having discussed supplements, herbs and superfoods for 2 hours, George smacks the guest with...)

Dialogue:

George: "You know the next thing we need to get are bicycles."

Guest:    ".....................................ok?"

(I laughed and laughed. Not sure what was funnier the fact that George is not eloquent or the fact that George is not eloquent.)
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

(After 2 hours George informs:)
      "By the way everyone...it's TUR-MER-ICK....that's T...U...R."   (Thanks George; I am curious though how YOU were spelling it before you lackeys looked it up for you.)

"...and get all the latest technology with streamlink."   (Huh?)


----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Dialogue:

George: "I'll tell you a quick story..."

Guest: "Good I like stories."

                   (DAMN IT!!!!!)
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------


"...you have the Carrartid...artery of a guy who is 70 and you are in the 90 percent...........tile...duh....of...."    (And the tongue of a guy who is 137.)


"Now you're taking iron taplets?"    (yum?)


"...they are in the mists of having their..."     (Droplets?)

"...where you goin' we still got 2 minutes, first time caller..."   (uh ok bye)

George's contribution to mankind is to show us how NOT to be in the world by just being himself.


Spikegirl

Meagle, I love the list! And I heard Snoory say George Nappy the other night, too. I thought I was imagining things!

EvB

Quote from: Spikegirl on August 08, 2008, 04:04:39 PM
Meagle, I love the list! And I heard Snoory say George Nappy the other night, too. I thought I was imagining things!

This, I'm sure, is giving GN too much credit for humor - and for BALLS.  But how funny if, knowing many people prefer Knapp he had said "Nappy" on purpose - since to Brits, and in some pockets of the US - it's slang for Diaper.

Meegle

LOL@Balls

Well I think what's happening is that (since he runs his words together) he says "...George Knapp, Ian Punnet..." it's the P in Knapp and the I in Ian that make it SOUND like he's really saying...NAPPY!

so, Ixnay on the Balls conjecture.  ;)

MV/Liberace!

Quote from: Meegle on August 08, 2008, 03:19:35 PM
The eternal question; along with 'Could George Burns have been a portal?
HAHAHA!!!

Quote
"...and get all the latest technology with streamlink."   (Huh?)
wow!!!  this streamlink thing is FASSSSSCINATING!!!


the latest technology.

MV/Liberace!

we now have a google ad for some show called "psych."

hmm.

EvB



Hey MV - have you noticed that - depending on how you read this - it either rocks - or is kinda GROSS (at the least) ?

"Supreme Snoory Sucks God"

Spikegirl

Quote from: EvB on August 08, 2008, 06:23:42 PM

Hey MV - have you noticed that - depending on how you read this - it either rocks - or is kinda GROSS (at the least) ?

"Supreme Snoory Sucks God"

That's disturbing...



Spikegirl

Quote from: Michael Vandeven on August 08, 2008, 06:45:37 PM
any suggestions on modifications?

I took my ass over to thesaurus.com  and typed in 'expert'. There were a few terms that came up, but one caught my eye. Past Master. I think it sounds cool, I just don't know how it would be incorporated into the sucking of one George Snoory.

http://thesaurus.reference.com/browse/past%20master

That's the page I took it from. Let me think and I'll throw some more suggestions out there. Anybody else w/ideas?


Past Master
Main Entry:   expert
Part of Speech:   noun
Definition:   A person with a high degree of knowledge or skill in a particular field.
Synonyms:   ace, adept, authority, dab hand, master, professional, proficient, wizard


Hmmm.... Dab Hand has a nice ring to it, too.

Quote from: Spikegirl on August 08, 2008, 07:06:49 PM

Hmmm.... Dab Hand has a nice ring to it, too.


Dab Hand - The condition which afflicts males 15 minutes after receiving "nekkid" pictures of spikegirl.

EvB

Quote from: Michael Vandeven on August 08, 2008, 06:45:37 PM
any suggestions on modifications?

How about just switching the wording around to "Supreme God of "GoeogeNoorySucks.com"  ?

Spikegirl

Quote from: PhantasticSanShiSan on August 08, 2008, 07:24:01 PM
Dab Hand - The condition which afflicts males 15 minutes after receiving "nekkid" pictures of spikegirl.

lol! I just noticed this! You're too much! (but in a good way)
;D

How about "Grand Wizard of coastgab.com"?

Wait..never mind.

Oh, I do like dab hand though. Never heard that one before!



Quote from: Pirate King Atomsk on August 09, 2008, 09:51:12 PM
How about "Grand Wizard of coastgab.com"?

Wait..never mind.


Hahahaha. "Oh Damn, I thought that was a dunce cap. My Bad".

MV/Liberace!

i listened to about 90 minutes of friday night's show... a rarity for me.

a caller during "ohmpen" lines (a tribute to dixie butcher) told a story about his now deceased son who had an experience in which he might have been possessed... or something.  after the caller recounts his excruciating story, george replies, "That's not normal.  That is just not normal.  It's sort of like The Exorcist.  Did you see that movie?"

this man is clearly a lead paint-chip victim.  how are people satisfied with this guy?  i am forced to call into question the intellectual validity of my average countryman for accepting this bilge.

Loui Zoot

Quote from: Michael Vandeven on August 10, 2008, 12:55:56 AM
a caller during "ohmpen" lines (a tribute to dixie butcher) told a story about his now deceased son who had an experience in which he might have been possessed... or something.  after the caller recounts his excruciating story, george replies, "That's not normal.  That is just not normal.  It's sort of like The Exorcist.  Did you see that movie?"

Did you notice that George says the Original Exorcist, not the Remake? I looked it up, and as I already knew, no remake has ever been released. Sequels, and that one several years ago that was the original remastered. I bet Noory thinks the 1990 spoof Repossessed was a remake.

Did anyone else catch the caller that called Noory a freak? Maybe the second hour.

MV/Liberace!

Quote from: Loui Zoot on August 10, 2008, 05:27:39 AM
Did anyone else catch the caller that called Noory a freak? Maybe the second hour.
no, didn't catch that.  what was the context?

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