BellGab.com Archive

HAHAHA! C2C had to fess up that the Roswell Alien slide was actually a picture  mummified Indian child from a museum!
Who ever booked the guests for the show is dumber than a box of rocks! As Carlo's Mencia Sez, "Dee,Dee,Dee!"

Just decided to do a picture check on Major Malfunction Dames on Bing. Not one picture of him in a Class A Dress uniform!
By the time you reach that rank you've had a least a few official pics taken of you by the various commands you been attached to.
My uncle served in the Marines for 4 years then the Air Force for 16 years. We have pictures taken of him as a recruit from USMC boot camp, the picture of him receiving his Bronze Star and Purple Heart in Vietnam. His pic of him in his first Air Force uniform to his final posting as an MSGT at Wiesbaden AFB in Germany. You'd think there would be at least one pic of Mr. Dames in his dress blues at least!

Gee, all those AM radio stations want Art back? I guess Turd to Turd AM has reached it's maximum suckage level!
When they have to fill in the commercial slots with Public Service announcements instead of paid advertisements
you know something is wrong! I Guess C2C is the kiss of death for advertisers. Can't sell product if nobody is
listening!

What, nobody sees the head of a grey alien with his eyes just below the worlds "Election 2000"?
You can even see the little openings of his nose just below the big almond shaped eyes! BOOGA BOOGA!

Quote from: Alienmojo on May 04, 2015, 05:30:37 AM
Dear God in heaven... please kill me. Now.

What's next? Dave and Tommy visiting retirement homes and putting on shows for the old folks?

I don't know which is worse... listening to Ed Dames talk about squid or listening to this.

Sweet Mary! What the hell was that? I'm pretty sure at least 20 cats in the neighborhood must have run into oncoming traffic to put themselves out of their misery!  If this is what Premiere Radio Network considers talent worth keeping they are ready to catch the bus to the nut farm! :

OMG! OMG! OMFG! Sweet Jeezus Mother of God , Talk about Hillbilly Redneck White Trash Video! I kept hearing the Banjo music from Deliverance playing in my head watching those 4 rejects from the nuthouse! Talk about needing brain bleach!
You could plop those 4 rejects down at a outdoor Flea Market or the corndog tent at a county fair and they'd fit right in!
Those are some humans even Aliens won't Rectal Probe!
I'd rather look at pics of Art, his sweet wife and cute daughter in Art's home Studio than those 4 brain farts any day!
Christ, I'll bet the cleaning lady who went in there later must have been looking for whatever died in there!

    Dear Art, Thank You for what you did 40 years ago by arranging the evacuation of the bunch of kids from Vietnam.
Saw this on Reddit today   http://www.reddit.com/r/history/comments/34glsc/forty_years_ago_a_man_named_john_riordan_saved/
He saved 105 from Saigon.
From what I recall you saved a lot more than that. My wife is a war refugee too. Her Dad served in the Royal Laotian Army, at the end of the war when the Communist took over there was a price put on his head. Up until 10 years ago she had never heard the story about how they had to sneak out of the country, and swim across the Mekong to safety. He's a tough old nut in his 80's, it took some time to get him to open up. By the time he was done talking almost all his adult kids around the table were crying.
  Again Art Thank You so much for what you did so long ago!

So Art, a month ago you took your sweet little Munchkin to the movie "Home" you were texting on your pad about the kinks being worked out for MITD. How did you like the surprise ending with the bid bad alien machine about to tear up the planet?
Also did Capt. Smek remind you of Jorch?

Art, it's time to have Hanz and Franz move in with you. When your having a bad back day they will be there to
I'm Hanz, Und I'm Franz and vere here to" big clap "[attachment=0][/attachment]STRAIGHTEN YOU UP!"

Oh Gee, started out a good night. listened to SIT with Art for the 20 minute ride to work. Then started paperwork and vehicle check with Mizz Ceegur blathering on in the background. Quickly plugged my thumbdrive in and found Art Bell April 5, 1996, 4 hours of Open Lines.
Made the night a whole lot better then listening to Mizz Dingbat!

I believe the contents of the letters were
To George:
  From Art:
           Dear Sir,
              Please go Fuck Yourself by Jumping off a bridge while a garbage scow full of of soiled Depends
           from the local nursing homes is passing under it! I'll only go back to C2C when your lowdown
           four flushing stinking carcass is being munched on by depraved vultures in the High Desert.
                  Sincerely the Once, Always and ever will be the KING of Late Night Radio,
                                                                         H.R.H.   Aurthur Bell
                                                             

Vass ist Los? Die techies on dis Vorum cannot vigure out how to record frum Die Tune-in Happarat unto ein Mp3 recorder?
Ach, mit der Radio Shacks kaput all die Damen und Herren cannot buy ein liddle cord dat goes from zie earfone jack to die
Audio in der jack? Zuch saddness Ach zie dumer essels vill just having to schell out der 5 Deutschmarks!

OMG, almost spit out my Pepsi when Jorch said he and Tommy went out to dinner together. TMI! 
I guess old looser guys pair off together when they can't get women anymore. And that toup on Jorch's head is def babe repellant!
Kinda like Prison Gay! Considering Tommy's size I think we all know who the bitch is in this relationship.
I quickly switched over to my Mp3 collection of old Art Bell shows and listened to the Ghost 2 Ghost show
from October 1998. Ahh Yes, Much better for the brain.

SPOILER ALERT!!!!!!!

Due to the demand to keep their highly wanted group going a few employees at the agency put out feelers to other people in the field to create a new company.
They got positive replies from a few other small advertising companies that want to get bigger fast.
The other possible partners being considered to join are:
Micheal Noe, Greg Paine, Dennis Jacken and Bill Offenhaus.
After hours of wrangling  and heavy drinking and smoking they settled on who will get the best billing on who was
investing the most money.
And the NEW Agency will be called:
............................Noe-Paine-Jacken-Offenhaus.....................................
Roger and Don raised their glasses high and said "We agree, that's perfect."
Peter replied with wide eyed shock, "Are you Fucking nuts!"
Joan and Peggy rolled their eyes and said, "You guys will never grow up, will you!" :

Okies fellow Gabbers its almost time to head into the bunkers and grab your Art Bell Mp3's. Tonite C2C is the same old tired SETI Shit!
2 Commercial filled hours of "We've been listening to radio frequencies in space, but we haven't really discovered anything yet!"
it's as bad as the search for the Loch Ness Monster shows! :

Finally got to listen to the show from way back in 1996 when Art first interviewed him. He had been faxing Art some of his wacko predictions and Art finally called him. I loved the "Jet Stream will drop to the deck and have 350 mph winds that will wreak havoc on the Earth." Gee I seemed to miss those days! Guess I slept right thru it!
Knowing now of his track record over the last 19 years including his never ending "Solar Killshot" prediction he pretty much has proven there is a reservation at a looney bin somewhere for him. Can you imagine the great paper some psychoanalyst can write on
Major Nutcase Dames?

Gee, Nooooo Sheeeeeet! My Gawd just 15 minutes of the Southern Preacher drawl voice and I realized she was Batshit crazy and full of it!
C2C hit a new high in bottom of the barrel guests. next I'm waiting to hear Jorch's Auto Mechanic talk about the Peak Oil Theory! 

Yes Art I agree with you 100% My dad was a radioman in the Navy, And a Ham. The book "Today I am a Ham" was written by my aunt about my Dad and my Uncle Wayne's experience setting up their radio and getting their license. Listened to AM hosts my grandpa  used to pester when he called in. Also to CBS Mystery Theater in the 70's. I guess that put me in the mood to listen to your show in the mid 80's when your broadcast was local in Vegas. It was night patrol in the High Desert back when Durango was mainly a gravel road.
Had RS pocket radios, Monkey Ward Airline multiband radios, and even a Panasonic AM/FM clock radio with hands on a dial.
But I have switched over to satellite and internet radio in the car and at home. Between the endless political mudslinging ever 2 years, and the corporate take over of local stations, broadcast sucks! It's going the way of landline phones and cable TV.  Plus I have more than enough of your old shows on a thumbdrive which I can plug into the USB port in the truck. I keep having to clone it though, once the folks I work with hear your old shows they don't want to listen to the "St. Louis Sloth" anymore!
So wherever you broadcast your show on I'll be listening!

To quote Archie Bunker, "Oh Geez!" I was listening to an old Micheal's UFOlogy shows with Art from way back in 1996!
19 years ago, I wasn't able to listen to it back then because of my work schedule. Same old shit, different decade.
There are some old guests that need to be locked up in a looney bin :

Well folks I guess we've gotten to the point of most of the guests and topics on C2C and even Dark Matter are the same tired old Bullshit.
Now with the internet and better TV shows and books we now know more about world history then we knew when we were younger.
My God look at the glossed over History we were fed in school! And now we have a new generation of guests who are parroting what the old guest who have died off used to say. Most of the time it's just authors pushing their books, or Quacksters pushing useless overpriced "Cures" And people who just get off hearing George talk to them late at night about whatever whack story you can make up. If Ya can't get laid, just call George for an "Ear Job" With a side order of "Butt Kissing"!
We could have entire volumes in the Grand  B.S. Encyclopedias like: Hoaxters, Hucksters and Fake MD's. Corporate Shills and Fake Battle Vets. Bigfoot Hunters who can't capture Shit, Crop Cirlcle Looneys, UFO butt probe survivors, Psychics who couldn't see 9/11 coming. Zetatalk & Planet X and other Alien Invisible Planets. People that should never be allowed to call a Radio Show!
I'm sure we could fill 20 volumes at least.

Now for the Book of Proven, Verified Truth. Pretty much around 200 pages.
Well fellow Gabbers, what topics and guests belong in the Grand Encyclopedia of B.S. And which belong in the Book of Truth?

Well for all us old Technerds who grew up with Radio Shack the end is here. :*(
All those glory days building ArcherKits, buying crystals for our walkie-talkies and Police Scanners.
Buying all those blank Video Tapes, 8-Track and Cassette tapes. Getting your free battery of the month with your card.
Tracking down Diodes, capacitors and resistors to bring dead things back to life. The little pocket TV's that were so cool.
The turntables, boomboxes, AM/FM Stereo car radios with the install kits. It's all coming to an end.
This picture sums it up. All that big expensive battery eating stuff now all fits in your cellphone in your pocket![attachimg=1]

Swerdlow get's the "Batshit CrazY award for last week, Great Googly Moogly he was nuts!

Holy Crap, couldn't believe if I didn't hear it with my own ears. George talked nice about art for all of 8 minutes and wished him well! Who wouldva Thunk it!

Check his latest post, they have the flu at the house. Art said  it might be the end of of him. And also said, if it happens he's had a great time NNNNOOOoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!

Jezus Freekin" Keerist! WTF was that last night, Rainbow Brite on Speed? : Well the show has really gone in the shitter now. I like to listen to the show at night to break the monotony while on patrol. But this dingbat, then Lisa Garr tonite, "Oh Hell NO! "
Guess I'm showing my age, but this time of night is Man Territory. Real Men who go hunting, fishing, arm wrestling and did some time in the military. Men who have seen weird and freeky stuff out in the woods or out at sea. ( I loved the Dog Watch at sea, the beauty of a million stars out at night, knowing which satellites would be going overhead at which times, seeing constellations in the Southern skies.) Art served in the USAF and could relate well with guests who were in the military. Even Jorch's time in the P.A. office in the Navy is a small asset. But now we're stuck with Airhead Angel bimbos at night? Call the Fat Lady to sing and stick a fork into C2C it's done!

Richard reminds me of a crazy uncle who tells old war stories. The older he gets the wilder the story becomes. "I drove one of the landing craft up to Omaha Beach."    Becomes "I almost got a good shot at Hitler, but his damn guards got in the way."
Then a few years later it becomes "I saw them flying Saucers the Nazi's made and one was shaped like a bell, and I took a ride in it!" :

Damn Jorch always gets a woody for the guy. Jeezus Cripes, Twilight Zone and Lost in Space stories again?
And this time they're dragging along the huckster Mark Zicree. This guy has been pushing his "Space Command" project
to separate the "Schmucks from their Bucks" since 2012! Always promising the movie is coming out real soooooooon!
It's as bad as the James Cawley guy over on Star Trek New Voyages site. "Please give us more money so we can film
ourselves playing Star Trek! And we will promise you the moon, and maybe even show you some footage!
It's like a stripper begging the customers for more money to see the goodies as she dances, but never really takes off her clothes.
Isn't Bill Mumy old enough to collect Social Security and do some E.D. commercials?

Also have you noticed all the Public Services ads? They use these to fill in the commercial time nobody bought. How many times do we hear the "Search Dog" ad every hour? :

I may not know much about fine furs, but I know a cheap a$$ Toupee when I see one!
My God is everyone in Jorch's circle afraid to tell him that it looks like crap?
C'mon Toommy there are plenty of pics of your Fearless Leader on Google that show him with
his gray hair and Moostache from a few years ago, or are you having fun laughing your ass off behind his back?

Guess who tonight's guest is, none other then Jorch's secret lover Ty Bollinger! 4 hours of this bullslinger spreading his  Medical Malarkey about how he only has the knowledge for the true cure to Cancer! Jeezus H. Ceeeerist! Does some one have an archive of Donald Rumsfeld bullshitting he was thru a press conference about Iraq's weapons of Mass Destruction?  Or how about an audio recording of Stihl chainsaws being tested at the factory. Anything but the Tyshitter for 4 hours tonite!