George Noory Sucks! - The Definitive Compendium

[Mels-hole1984]

George Noory is to Metallica, as Art Bell is to Slayer...

[Hugo Fitch]

What. The. Fuck.

[Morgus]

I saw Noory's talking head appeared on the new episode of H2's Ancient Aliens tonight and again on an ancient astronaut themed episode of 'Book of Secrets' that was also on tonight.
Noory acted like he was an expert of some kind and talked about how maybe the ancient Vikings describing 'dwarfs' might have been referring to small ET greys.   

[GeorgieForPresident2216]

You are correct, GeorgieforPresident2216.  Mea culpa.  I went back and found what I thought I heard, and I was off. 


I didn't listen to the news report at the 1st of the show, nor had I heard any other coverage of the event.  What I heard was George tell the guest (April 10, Hour 3, @ 4:50) that an individual went into a hardware store in Los Angeles "and started sawing his arms off."  The guest paused and then said with obvious realization that this was impossible, "How did he manage to saw his arms..." George interrupted him to follow with "He sawed them to the bone."


I misheard the part about sawing them *to* the bone as having sawed them *through* the bone.  I'm glad I was wrong, and thanks for calling my attention to it.  I don't want to blame George of anything he didn't do.  He has enough on his conscience! 


Oh, and about the "chain saw" that was my brain filling in the blanks for me as to what it would take to have sawed through the bone.  I obviously reacted like a Pavlovian dog to the whole episode.  Sorry.

It sounds like I didn't get it quite right either.  I suppose the key was that Noory began it all by saying '...and started sawing his arms off.'  I knew it had sounded strange but I didn't remember exactly how he expressed that first part.  You caught the gist of that strangeness and Noory's apparent lack of awareness of what he had said, so I hope I didn't do you a disservice by posting that.  Although he clarified I'm still not sure he understood how it sounded -- but, maybe I'm not giving him enough credit.

[VtaGeezer]

     Those women had their next known picture taken by forsenic investigators after they were found in dumpsters with ligature marks.

As much as I may dislike Noory as a radio host, that's uncalled for.

[Darisi]

Black-eyed bullshit. Jeeezzzuz Kariced!!!!

[Darisi]

George exhibits a strange enthusiasm when the topic deals with children.

[Morgus]

A caller with Noory is now telling a story about a urinal...

[Hugo Fitch]

And George held him over the break to continue his tale. What's scarier than the BS of black-eyed children is that this loon is a father.

[Hugo Fitch]

This lying sack of shit guest seems to have attracted an inordinate amount of even nuttier than usual callers. 

[Hugo Fitch]

Also, that caller couldn't stop saying the word Urinal.

[bigchucka]

George Noory is to Metallica, as Art Bell is to Slayer...

Reminds me of a Brian Posehn joke about Slayer...

[bootyscoot falcon]

George asks (about the BEK's): "could they be human ouija boards?"

[Darisi]

That last caller is a set up.   Oh no!  Another set up. And a shout out to fat Tommy.

[MTB]

This caller should have been 86'ed 15 minutes ago. "Birth certificates are on bond paper because we're bondsmen"? WTF?

[Roy Hinkley]

George: "You can win a dinner with me - hey how 'bout that?"  He is getting SO full of himself.

[MTB]

He doesn't tell you he's going to stick you with the check.

[Roy Hinkley]

What. The. Fuck.

No kidding - does he get these fugly tie/handkerchief sets at Walmart or something?  Who dresses him anyway, Tommie?

[Roy Hinkley]

He doesn't tell you he's going to stick you with the check.

And you don't want to get stuck with the check if his inseperable buddy Tommie is there as I'm sure he'll order one of everything.

[bootyscoot falcon]

George: "Who knows what the future's gonna do with them with that?"

[Roy Hinkley]

What a stupid eye shtory.  Wow, he had to drive himself to the doctor without Tommie.

[Hugo Fitch]

Try picturing looking through a handful of Vaseline....with a mouthful of scalding hot Totino's Pizza Rolls. Now put a really cheap rug on your dome. Now don a hot pink tie against an all black outfit.

You...are...George.

[bootyscoot falcon]

According to George, the Germans "launched" bombs on England.

[PB the Deplorable]

I saw Noory's talking head appeared on the new episode of H2's Ancient Aliens tonight...

Noory acted like he was an expert of some kind and talked about how maybe the ancient Vikings describing 'dwarfs' might have been referring to small ET greys.   

Yes, who knew that while George doesn't know what prime numbers are, he is a whiz on Norse mythology.

[bootyscoot falcon]

George: "If there are many parallel worlds, they probably have all kinds of things."

[Gay]

Try picturing looking through a handful of Vaseline....with a mouthful of scalding hot Totino's Pizza Rolls. Now put a really cheap rug on your dome. Now don a hot pink tie against an all black outfit.

You...are...George.

One would think natural selection would have caused George to get killed decades ago.  Yet, he is not only alive, he has reproduced, and so have his children.

Maybe this whole Evolution thing isn't all it's cracked up to be.  Maybe George is on to something with all the Intelligent Design and creationist oddballs he has on the show.

[bootyscoot falcon]

One would think natural selection would have caused George to get killed decades ago.  Yet, he is not only alive, he has reproduced, and so have his children.

Maybe this whole Evolution thing isn't all it's cracked up to be.  Maybe George is on to something with all the Intelligent Design and creationist oddballs he has on the show.

An intelligent designer created George?

[Roy Hinkley]

George just basically compared himself to Michio Kaku.  He said he just gets physics, and so does Michio Kaku - what a putz.

[Morgus]

What a stupid eye shtory.  Wow, he had to drive himself to the doctor without Tommie.

Another long scary Noory tale about his 1997 Lasik eye surgery (he got for free for an endorsement?)
He had originally 20/200 vision requiring contacts since the 6th grade, improved to 20/15 after surgery.
He woke up and claimed he was blind in one eye, like a thick coat of vaseline on the eye.
He drove himself to the eye doctor with vision in only one eye - why not take a taxi Noory - too stingy? 

[bootyscoot falcon]

George just basically compared himself to Michio Kaku.  He said he just gets physics, and so does Michio Kaku - what a putz.

He also claimed to come up with multi-dimensional theory long before scientists.