John B. Wells

[HorrorRetro]

Wells is simply unlistenable, if that's even a word.     If he's not lapsing into a faux British accent for whatever reason, he's leaving dead air or he's stringing together a bunch of '70s DJ adjectives that have  no bearing on the subject matter.  It's painful and embarrassing to hear. 

Even with the Nooron, there is some sort of sick interest in listening, just to see how far the show has fallen and how many times he'll mispronounce words.  But Wells is impossible to listen to.  He has zero talent or knowledge.

Gina

[ItsOver]

My vote for worst host in the history of radio goes to Wells.  I'll listen to Phil Hendrie over Wells anytime.  Sad, isn't it?  I'd rather listen to three hours of a guy talking to himself (Hendrie) than Wells and any of his doomsday/conspiracy guests.

Yes, I'd rather listen to Hendrie talking to himself than be mumbling to myself over The Mothership.    Hendrie use to do an Art Bell take.  The Mothership should be prime material for Hendrie.  It's like a combination of all the wacko Hendrie characters wrapped into one tangled, warped mess.  Like something from the Kurt Russell "The Thing."

[Sleepwalker]

Yes, I'd rather listen to Hendrie talking to himself than be mumbling to myself over The Mothership.    Hendrie use to do an Art Bell take.  The Mothership should be prime material for Hendrie.  It's like a combination of all the wacko Hendrie characters wrapped into one tangled, warped mess.  Like something from the Kurt Russell "The Thing."

I remember Phil Hendrie's Art Bell routine. It was hilarious.  I would really love to hear him do one on John B. Wells.  Bobbie Dooley could phone in and do her "mmm humm, mmm humm, mmm humm to Alex Jones.  That would be a classic.  Maybe Dickman could be Well's producer.

Let's see, what's on the Wells train wreck for tonight:

Joining John B. Wells, radio host & pastor Stan Johnson, will discuss the nature of time, prophecy for the United States, and why he believes CERN has a hidden agenda to open a wormhole to other dimensions which may have an unintended consequence of destabilizing Earth's geology.

Ah, great!  More demented conspiracy crap.  A radio host and pastor is going to tell us CERN has a hidden agenda (a conspiracy) to open a wormhole to other dimensions (some quack science) and may destabilize the Earth's geology (a nice doomsday scenario).  Conspiracy, pseudoscience, doomsday and prophesy all rolled into one big foul-smelling trainwreck on the bridge of the mothership.  For a few million of our closest friends.

Friends, after the show, don't forget to stop by my personal website which can be found in the main lobby of the mothership and pick up a few radiation detectors and water filters for the end of the world caused by CERN's destabilizing of the Earth's geology and, of course, the worm hole which will send us spiriling into other dimensions.  One can't have too many radiation detectors for that ride through the worm hole.  Ladies and gentleman, Elvis has left the building.  Please depart the mothership and have a pleasant evening.

[HorrorRetro]

Bobbie and Steve Dooley would be great callers to Hendrie's Wells character.  Bobbie might even get in a plug for the annual Summertacular due to all the dead air Wells leaves.  Also Lloyd Bonafide, being the decorated military veteran, could come in and debunk some of Wells' wacky conspiracies.  Father James McQuarters could be the Malachi Martin-type and do some shows on exorcisms and such.   I'd listen.

Gina

[aldousburbank]

Wells is simply unlistenable, if that's even a word.     If he's not lapsing into a faux British accent for whatever reason, he's leaving dead air or he's stringing together a bunch of '70s DJ adjectives that have  no bearing on the subject matter.  It's painful and embarrassing to hear. 

Even with the Nooron, there is some sort of sick interest in listening, just to see how far the show has fallen and how many times he'll mispronounce words.  But Wells is impossible to listen to.  He has zero talent or knowledge.

Gina

Which is why I listen.

[HorrorReporter]

train wreck.. mothership... millions of closest friends.

But he appears like he is in Hawaii...? And he smokes.. just like the AB...? ....

[Oversoul]

What a piece of HAM!

[ItsOver]

train wreck.. mothership... millions of closest friends.

But he appears like he is in Hawaii...? And he smokes........

Bet he rolls his own ....

[HorrorReporter]

Bet he rolls his own ....

I hear some ... Funny.... Background noises when he hosts....... Toke up mother ship

[ItsOver]

Bobbie and Steve Dooley would be great callers to Hendrie's Wells character.  Bobbie might even get in a plug for the annual Summertacular due to all the dead air Wells leaves.  Also Lloyd Bonafide, being the decorated military veteran, could come in and debunk some of Wells' wacky conspiracies.  Father James McQuarters could be the Malachi Martin-type and do some shows on exorcisms and such.   I'd listen.

Gina

Someone should tip-off Hendrie about the laugh potential with The Mothership.  Phil could center it around how C2C itself is really a massive conspiracy to complete the dumbing-down of America... maybe even the entire world! 

[michio]

Wells said someone sent him an email, letting him know his British accents are awesome. He then let loose with his equally atrocious pirate accent in appreciation. From bad to worse.

[attachimg=1]

[PhantasticSanShiSan]

train wreck.. mothership... millions of closest friends.

But he appears like he is in Hawaii...? And he smokes.. just like the AB...? ....

So Art Bell and Leonard Nimoy decide to have a kid.....

[thefamilyghost]

Just a few minutes into the time spent with guest Stan Johnson, biblical prophecy enthusiast, and the amount of lies told and misinformation given by both guest and host are appalling.

They begin to speak about the experiments at CERN in Europe...

Wells: "What's up with all these scientists fixated on opening up wormholes?" - THEY'RE NOT! IT'S FUNDAMENTAL RESEARCH!

Johnson: "What's CERN stand for? Is it short for CERNUS? (some kind of biblical monster) Is CERNUS going to come out from another dimension and wreak havoc? etc...

They compare the work at CERN to the making of the atomic bomb in that both experiments involve probing into the unknown and uncontrolled, or something...that's fine, but then Wells shows how little he knows with this one, and I'm paraphrasing:

Something like: "I mean how could they control it. In the atom bomb there's a chain reaction and how do they know it doesn't keep on going from there? There's some guy scribbling some notes on a piece of paper and he thinks it will work out? - this was said very sarcastically and there may or may not have been a big, rumbling, JBW 'hhhmmmmmmmmm' afterwards, indicating he is very doubtful.

Let's see. If it was some guy scribbling notes on a piece of paper, I might agree with you, Johnnie B. But it wasn't. It was OPPENHEIMER and his TEAM OF HUNDREDS OF PHYSICISTS, CHEMISTS, AND ENGINEERS, WHO SPEND THEIR LIVES STUDYING THINGS LIKE THIS. YOU MORON.

Johnson: You know I'd like to believe that these scientists (at CERN) are good and thoughtful people (or something like that) but I just can't. You're telling me that thousands of scientists and billions of dollars over there in switzerland aren't up to something else, and the higgs boson is just a cover story? Don't you see? Drones, supersonic aircraft, etc...

...and then he belts out an old George Noory favorite...

"People see that SUMPTHING's COMING....you look around and people can tell..." blah blah blah and a bunch more non-sequiturs about how 'something' is evidently 'going to happen'.


Hey Johnson. Maybe if you didn't waste your life studying biblical prophecies and actually did something meaningful with your time, perhaps actually learn a bit of the science you think you can undermine...maybe then it wouldn't seem so far away and mysterious, you pathetic man.

Johnnie B sucks 

[Oversoul]

Stan Johnson is a champion turd for guesting beyond the utter disgust and dismay of the C2C show's already low standards.  This pushes the show to an even lower level tonight.  Johnson and Wells should share the following award:

[Oversoul]

Somebody, someone, merciful God, please knock off C2C from the air waves RIGHT NOW.  Get those turds John Wells and Stan Johnson off the air.   

O Higgs Boson God-particle from the Higgs Field, smite those morons from Coast To Coast for being a waste of human matter.  Banish them please to the field of dark matter forever.    :

[DangerousBlossom]

Hey Johnson. Maybe if you didn't waste your life studying biblical prophecies and actually did something meaningful with your time, perhaps actually learn a bit of the science you think you can undermine...maybe then it wouldn't seem so far away and mysterious, you pathetic man.

But wasn't his main point that his theories had to be true because something similar happened in the movie Hellboy?  Now you can't argue with THAT!  I mean it is fine to question the Bible, but if a Hollywood movie supports your claims THEN you have proof.

[Oversoul]

"... if a Hollywood movie supports your claims THEN you have proof."

  Good grief!

[Ben Shockley]

  Good grief!

Wells and Noory are like "Lucy" to the audience's "Charlie Brown."   They always trick-screw us with the faintest hope  of a through-the-goal-posts (i.e., tolerable) interview kick, but always leave us flat on our backs and disappointed.

[TheGrimCreeper1]

As if I needed another reason to hate John B. Wells, he's become the shill for a new product: Bolt-B-Gone. You have to admit, the results are rather dramatic.

[HorrorRetro]

but if a Hollywood movie supports your claims THEN you have proof.

That's Hoaxland's method.

Gina

[Lovely Bones]

Wells and Noory are like "Lucy" to the audience's "Charlie Brown."   They always trick-screw us with the faintest hope  of a through-the-goal-posts (i.e., tolerable) interview kick, but always leave us flat on our backs and disappointed.

Ha!  I think I actually posted a panel of Charlie Brown lying flat on his back after Lucy pulled the football away--AGAIN--some time back. 

We all feel the same way, don't we?

[ziznak]

Ok sooooo was looking into this MERLIN BS cause it seemed kinda interesting.  Interesting in that computers are involved.  I spent a bit of time on this horribly designed web-page trying to make heads or tails of their info and I'm drawing a blank.  Can somebody please explain to me how this system of telling the future is any different from some gypsy astrologist drawing charts?  Is it just a really old computer application of the usual astrological mumbo jumbo?  I can totally understand the theory behind the more modern IT crystal ball the "web bot" but I'm really not getting MERLIN at all.  Are any of the technical details discussed in the show?  I'm planning on scanning through it soon I'm just curious as to what you guys think.

And one last thing... Why the fuck are they still printing out their little time-lines in ascii?? can't they at least export their crap to excel?

[Grimace]

Ok sooooo was looking into this MERLIN BS cause it seemed kinda interesting.  Interesting in that computers are involved.  I spent a bit of time on this horribly designed web-page trying to make heads or tails of their info and I'm drawing a blank.

I'm in the same boat... the fact that the website (I assume you're also on http://www.accessbest.com/merlin/) wreaks of a tacky late 1990s MS Frontpage theme doesn't bode too well with me. Oh wait, surprise surprise:

"<meta name="GENERATOR" content="Microsoft FrontPage 6.0">"

Not that this has any real bearing on the legitimacy of MERLIN, but you'd think the presentation would be just a tad more streamlined if they knew a national audience was going to be made aware of their site.

The Complete (Initial) Session ($270) includes up to seven (7) MERLIN Timetraks®, File creation, a two to three hour phone consultation and tape transcript and we pay for the cost of placing the call.  Follow-up sessions ($180) can last up to two hours and include up to five (5) additional MERLIN Timetraks.  PLEASE NOTE: Additional consulting time scheduled separately or additional time beyond the generous time already allotted, will be billed @ $100 per hour

Oooo, and of course if you want your own ASCII art, it'll cost you a pretty shilling.

[ziznak]

I'm in the same boat... the fact that the website (I assume you're also on http://www.accessbest.com/merlin/) wreaks of a tacky late 1990s MS Frontpage theme doesn't bode too well with me. Oh wait, surprise surprise:

"<meta name="GENERATOR" content="Microsoft FrontPage 6.0">"

Not that this has any real bearing on the legitimacy of MERLIN, but you'd think the presentation would be just a tad more streamlined if they knew a national audience was going to be made aware of their site.

Oooo, and of course if you want your own ASCII art, it'll cost you a pretty shilling.

Did a little research and it looks like office 95 would have contained frontpage 6.0?  Apparently frontpage version numbers from 4-8 coincided with the office release numbers and I'm seeing mostly version 7's for 95... whatever, sorry about that.  Found the info on wikipedia so it must be true.  OK where was I?  Ah YES!  They had office with frontpage but never bothered to check out excel and maybe dress up their shitty charts.  I listened to most of the show and still have not been granted the magical "aha!" moment of understanding how this crap is supposed to work... I'm calling "douche-baggery" on yet another C2C topic/guest/theory.

[TheGrimCreeper1]

MERLIN is snake oil at best. I've never heard an explanation from Paul Guercio  or George George Hart regarding the nuts and bolts of what makes it work. What's more, I've never heard or read a detailed explanation of how to decipher the much ballyhooed Timetrak. Case in point: On one of Coast's prediction programs in January, Paul used the same Timetrak for Barack Obama that he used last night. In January, Paul referred to the heightened activity in Obama's chart circa 2013 and postulated that Obama would step down as president and let Hillary Clinton, who would replace Biden as the VPOTUS on the ticket, assume the office. His reasoning? Because Barack Obama will have accomplished all the things he's set out to accomplish and will want to move on to bigger and better things. Last night, Paul's speculation "evolved" and now he thinks someone "might take a pop" at Obama because of the unprecedented racism he's faced since being elected. To Wells credit, he asked Paul where the racism was on election day in a country that elected it's first black president. Paul Guercio claims to be an independent, yet he uses the same talking points I've heard uttered by Congresswoman Maxine Waters.

If you're looking for something magical or scientific about MERLIN, I suggest you look elsewhere. I wouldn't be surprised if Paul and George hired Ms. Cleo and she's hiding somewhere behind a curtain, gazing at her Tarot cards.

[ziznak]

If you're looking for something magical or scientific about MERLIN, I suggest you look elsewhere.

I'm not seriously expecting an explanation that makes sense, I just want an explanation period.  This is what I hate about a lot of these pseudo-scientists.  They are selling products that they do their best to explain as scientific and hi-tech yet when it comes to hashing out the proof behind said theory an answer isn't ever provided.  When asked they tend to skirt around a solid answer and play that little "hey look at the silly little monkey" in one hand game...

Johnnie Cochran

[TheGrimCreeper1]

I'm not seriously expecting an explanation that makes sense, I just want an explanation period.  This is what I hate about a lot of these pseudo-scientists.  They are selling products that they do their best to explain as scientific and hi-tech yet when it comes to hashing out the proof behind said theory and answer isn't ever provided.  When asked they tend to skirt around a solid answer and play that little "hey look at the silly little monkey" in one hand game...

I really wanted to believe in MERLIN at first, but have come to the conclusion that it is little more than speculation based on current trends and events. I think Johnnie Cochran makes more sense than anything I've heard from Paul Guercio regarding it's inner workings.

Bring on the Chewbacca defense!!!


Chewbacca defense

[TheGrimCreeper1]

One last thought about MERLIN: I believe its popularity is rooted in the same emotions that make psychic prediction programs ratings winners. People are curious, and in many instances, anxious, about the future. What wouldn't most of us give to know exactly what the future has in store?! I, myself, have fallen prey to the telephone hucksters who claim to know my future with 99% accuracy. For the most part, the only thing that came to pass is that I found myself a bit poorer than I was before. Perhaps MERLIN is the Psychic Friends Network for the techie crowd.

[robomatic]

Positive: I like his bumper music. He mentions it frequently so I guess he's really selecting it.

Negative: He has this selfconsciousness about his on-air comments that is somewhat reminding of Art Bell, but more so. It can get irritating especially when he blocks a guest or caller comment by pre-supposing what the person is going to say instead of letting them say it. This is a poor conversationialist in my books.

Positive: He has a good voice,  warm and deep.

Negative: He can jump subjects right in the middle of a guest making a point, rip the topic right out of the guest's mouth and move it somewhere else, not necessarily to the interest of the listener.

Positivbe: I haven't noticed him abusing a guest or a caller.

Negative: I haven't thought much of his guests or his topics. Too much in the plot mode or we can only save ourselves through christ mode. That is not a crime but when they are both riding a hobby horse and boring at the same time, that is a radio crime.

[TheGrimCreeper1]

Positive: I like his bumper music. He mentions it frequently so I guess he's really selecting it.

Negative: He has this selfconsciousness about his on-air comments that is somewhat reminding of Art Bell, but more so. It can get irritating especially when he blocks a guest or caller comment by pre-supposing what the person is going to say instead of letting them say it. This is a poor conversationialist in my books.

Positive: He has a good voice,  warm and deep.

Negative: He can jump subjects right in the middle of a guest making a point, rip the topic right out of the guest's mouth and move it somewhere else, not necessarily to the interest of the listener.

Positivbe: I haven't noticed him abusing a guest or a caller.

Negative: I haven't thought much of his guests or his topics. Too much in the plot mode or we can only save ourselves through christ mode. That is not a crime but when they are both riding a hobby horse and boring at the same time, that is a radio crime.

1. I think his bumper music sucks. Art Bell's bumps were more audience friendly and accessible to the masses.

2. John's statements are generally moronic. I REALLY hate it when he gets vapor lock in the middle of a sentence and, after series of grunts and guffaws, finally belches out a  complete non-sequitur.

3. Who cares about his voice? In my opinion, that's the only reason Johnny boy got the job.

4. On this point I agree. John does switch gears in the middle of a guest's thought and he rarely takes the conversation in a worthwhile direction.

5. We agree here as well. John doesn't intentionally abuse his guests. If anything, he lets them drone on incessantly until my eyes glaze over.

6. I don't mind the religious talk so much as long as the guest doesn't deliver a sermon. Last night, Stan Johnson was light on the prophecy and heavy on the Jesus loves you talk. On the flipside of the coin, where are his contrasting guests like Harlot or Evelyn Paglini?  Having said that, I don't think a better selection of guests can save John from himself. He's a script reader -- a one trick pony. I don't know who or what prompted John to pursue a career in talk radio, but I think he is in way over his head. It takes more than a deep voice and a script to fill Art Bell's shoes.