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burning poo

Started by akwilly, May 18, 2016, 11:28:03 PM

akwilly

I'm in real trouble here guys. No my place won't burn down but my yard is on fire and I added poo boxes to my bed that I couldn't film because the damn fire erupted

akwilly

This is 5 feet from my door

theONE

Quote from: akwilly on November 14, 2016, 03:53:59 AM
Oh shit I mite be in trouble in pile of shit


hahaha,..you are crazy man - LOL ;D
I have an idea for your advertising slogan:

"When I burn my poo I'm thinking of you that you too should burn your poo"


theONE

Quote from: akwilly on November 14, 2016, 04:00:48 AM
This is 5 feet from my door

o fuck man now I'm worrying about your safety....please keep posted how you doing
fire should burn out soon - oh man :(

akwilly

Quote from: theONE..MV on November 14, 2016, 04:01:18 AM

hahaha,..you are crazy man - LOL ;D
I have an idea for your advertising slogan:

"When I burn my poo I'm thinking of you that you too should burn your poo"
glad you laughed,i almost burnt down the neighborhood

theONE

Quote from: akwilly on November 14, 2016, 04:00:48 AM
This is 5 feet from my door

this is really nice picture...of shit on fire -like an abstract painting by some famous artist

how you doing ak ??

theONE

Quote from: akwilly on November 14, 2016, 04:05:52 AM
glad you laughed,i almost burnt down the neighborhood

well...shit happens man

are you OK?.. /is The POO fire/ under control now ??

theONE

Tomorrow people will be asking on BGab.......where were you when akwilly burned his poo ??

akwilly

As this photo clearly shows it is the box spring mattress. Obviously I tempered the poo fire that was raging in my yard. I will now have sex with the googly eyes box spring mattress and then poo in it and hope to not burn down this whole town

akwilly

As you can tell used a chalk-line to make the box spring mattress anatomically correct

Quote from: akwilly on November 14, 2016, 04:21:00 AM
As this photo clearly shows it is the box spring mattress. Obviously I tempered the poo fire that was raging in my yard. I will now have sex with the googly eyes box spring mattress and then poo in it and hope to not burn down this whole town

So you didn't impregnate the mattress but are gonna boff the box spring?  You like it rough - that's hard core..........

Any more piss jugs left?  They would fit in the box spring nicely I would think.

akwilly

As this photo clearly shows I have dumped a quart of oil in the "sex hole". I did that midway and not from the start. I will use my chainsaw to cut a proper poo hole shortly.

Quote from: akwilly on November 14, 2016, 04:21:00 AM
As this photo clearly shows it is the box spring mattress. Obviously I tempered the poo fire that was raging in my yard. I will now have sex with the googly eyes box spring mattress and then poo in it and hope to not burn down this whole town

Look at those pupil's!  Do I detect a simulated lazy eye?

Quote from: akwilly on November 14, 2016, 04:34:50 AM
As this photo clearly shows I have dumped a quart of oil in the "sex hole". I did that midway and not from the start. I will use my chainsaw to cut a proper poo hole shortly.

A whole quart?  That's a lot of lube.........

So to clarify the situation.  You began coitus with the box spring, halted, added the 10W-40 and then 'finished up', so to speak?

akwilly

As this photo clearly shows I lined an 18 pack Miller lite can box with a shopping bag. I lined it not because I don't have faith and trust in its seems but rather because I was forcing a poo on it. I made my self go knowing it would be more runny than the beer box or box spring could hold. I also almost lost a finger or half a hand from the kickback on my chainsaw

akwilly

As this photo clearly shows I'm in the process of moving the box spring out side for burning. Obviously you will notice that I added the emptyish quart of oil to the poo box. Also you might notice that I filled the "googly eyed girl sex hole" with spaghetti. I did that because I burnt up all my duct tape and also it made me feel better about my life even though I keep pooing and burning my stuff

akwilly

Fixing to light on fire

akwilly

The box spring did not erupt as I expected. As this photo shows the poo box and empty pee jug are just waiting to be burned. I guess I'm happy that I don't need to worry about burning down my neighbor but dang man I wanted to line what was left of my bed with burnable poo boxers

akwilly

This is closure for me and the googly eyed girl

Quote from: akwilly on November 14, 2016, 05:54:53 AM
This is closure for me and the googly eyed girl

It was the only way to save her..................

akwilly

Quote from: Walks_At_Night on November 14, 2016, 06:20:50 AM
It was the only way to save her..................
I've still got one bigass bed left. My couch situation is not good. I still hold out hope that I can get with her but everything i burn makes it that much harder to bring a gal as classy as her home with me. Literally if she saw me for who I am she would like me but sadly I believe she only sees in 2d and only cares about how much coin I got in my jingle.

K_Dubb

Quote from: akwilly on November 14, 2016, 06:35:53 AM
I've still got one bigass bed left. My couch situation is not good. I still hold out hope that I can get with her but everything i burn makes it that much harder to bring a gal as classy as her home with me. Literally if she saw me for who I am she would like me but sadly I believe she only sees in 2d and only cares about how much coin I got in my jingle.

I am sorry she can not see the charm of a raging poo-filled mattress fire battled with jugs of reserved pee.  Any red-blooded American girl would want to lend her own poo to the conflagration for the sheer glory of it all.

Perhaps if you honeycombed your giant mattress with the requisite chambers, the two of you could spend a week or so filling it, like bees do a comb.  I'm sure you two would be inseparable after that fire.

Quote from: K_Dubb on November 14, 2016, 09:02:01 AM
I am sorry she can not see the charm of a raging poo-filled mattress fire battled with jugs of reserved pee.  Any red-blooded American girl would want to lend her own poo to the conflagration for the sheer glory of it all.

Perhaps if you honeycombed your giant mattress with the requisite chambers, the two of you could spend a week or so filling it, like bees do a comb.  I'm sure you two would be inseparable after that fire.


Could not agree more.  Mrs. Walks_At_Night and I have been married well nigh on a quarter century now and that is how our story started:
Our eyes met for the first time and I delivered the ultimate line: "Hey baby - wanna come back to my place and poo in my couch".   



K_Dubb

Quote from: Walks_At_Night on November 14, 2016, 04:01:15 PM

Could not agree more.  Mrs. Walks_At_Night and I have been married well nigh on a quarter century now and that is how our story started:
Our eyes met for the first time and I delivered the ultimate line: "Hey baby - wanna come back to my place and poo in my couch".

Oh the couch is a splendid idea!  Nothing like working side-by-side for a common goal, cheering one another on, to bind two hearts together.

Roswells, Art

akwilly, you are a mini environmental nightmare. All that plastic and whatever you're burning, damn. I bet you don't have many birds living near you.

albrecht

This is the best thread ever, it makes the internet, finally, legitimate. I have to ask if other Alaskans burn poo or if you figured this out? I knew someone, years ago, who lived in a primitive old house without plumbing and they would crap in bags when it was too cold to go out to the outhouse. Why didn't they think of your option? (They were very, very religious and never drank, so the 12-pack containers weren't an option, actually they didn't have 12 packs then, as I recall you bought a sleight cardboard containing 6-packs if you wanted a case, or just two 6-packs if you wanted half a case.)
I never have heard of pooing on furniture, at least on purpose, and then burning (I have burnt furniture before, pleather lazy-boy type chairs make great smoke and flames but you still have the metal carcass to deal with.)

Quote from: albrecht on November 14, 2016, 07:05:57 PM
This is the best thread ever, it makes the internet, finally, legitimate. I have to ask if other Alaskans burn poo or if you figured this out? I knew someone, years ago, who lived in a primitive old house without plumbing and they would crap in bags when it was too cold to go out to the outhouse. Why didn't they think of your option? (They were very, very religious and never drank, so the 12-pack containers weren't an option, actually they didn't have 12 packs then, as I recall you bought a sleight cardboard containing 6-packs if you wanted a case, or just two 6-packs if you wanted half a case.)
I never have heard of pooing on furniture, at least on purpose, and then burning (I have burnt furniture before, pleather lazy-boy type chairs make great smoke and flames but you still have the metal carcass to deal with.)

Well technically it is pooing in furniture.    The carving into the mattress with a chainsaw at 1 in the morning or whatever was there at the time
is what really makes it special.........

Roswells, Art

Quote from: albrecht on November 14, 2016, 07:05:57 PM
This is the best thread ever, it makes the internet, finally, legitimate. I have to ask if other Alaskans burn poo or if you figured this out? I knew someone, years ago, who lived in a primitive old house without plumbing and they would crap in bags when it was too cold to go out to the outhouse. Why didn't they think of your option? (They were very, very religious and never drank, so the 12-pack containers weren't an option, actually they didn't have 12 packs then, as I recall you bought a sleight cardboard containing 6-packs if you wanted a case, or just two 6-packs if you wanted half a case.)
I never have heard of pooing on furniture, at least on purpose, and then burning (I have burnt furniture before, pleather lazy-boy type chairs make great smoke and flames but you still have the metal carcass to deal with.)


I know several people that live in Alaska, two are in the boonies. None of them shit in furniture and set it on fire. One of them does poop in the woods though.

K_Dubb

Quote from: Walks_At_Night ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ on November 14, 2016, 07:09:57 PM
Well technically it is pooing in furniture.    The carving into the mattress with a chainsaw at 1 in the morning or whatever was there at the time
is what really makes it special.........

It is utter genius, and must rank among the most comfortable poos ever taken.  I thought my mom's vinyl-covered cushioned seat was luxurious, but an entire mattress is positively decadent.

albrecht

Quote from: Walks_At_Night ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ on November 14, 2016, 07:09:57 PM
Well technically it is pooing in furniture.    The carving into the mattress with a chainsaw at 1 in the morning or whatever was there at the time
is what really makes it special.........
Point taken. You are right, the poo inside furniture and the prep-work to do so properly before setting them alight is an amazing evolution in burning poo. Why the rest of the interwebs or late night talk shows haven't reached out to Akwilly for guest appearances or interviews and demonstrations amazes me. This is why Hollywood and the TV is loosing audiences.

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