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The WOTR (self appointed life coach) advice thread.

Started by Jojo, July 03, 2019, 09:10:56 PM

artbell_ghost

Quote from: Yorkshire pud on July 05, 2019, 09:07:41 AM
Bravo sir!! Back on the thread topic rather than having to field  sixteen's batshit crazy walls of text.

read this first

WOTR

Quote from: K_Dubb on July 05, 2019, 08:38:30 AM
Dear WOTR, if I have once drunk the Queen's health in a foreign country with a group of Commonwealth citizens, is my loyalty suspect?  I was unaware it is now called the "loyal toast", and couldn't think why God should not bless the old bat.

Many a traitor has toasted the queen (or king) and then stabbed them in the back. Why should you be any different?  :-\

Quote from: AZRAA on July 05, 2019, 05:30:47 AM
But, are you a night owl, naturally speaking? I think you said so once.

I used to be one. But I had to change, and break the cycle. I have a friend who's still trapped in the late night rut, who has been trying to break free from its clutches for years.

I used to work days (had to be at work for 7:00.) I never got used to the schedule and was always up way too late. Also, half a decade of shift work probably didn't help- but I found the 6PM - 6 AM shift easy... It was the other rotation that would kill me.

Jojo

Quote from: SredniVashtar on July 05, 2019, 05:30:33 AM
You need to take a break from posting. Go and do something else for a week or two. This happens to many people who post on here and end up taking things too seriously. You ought to step away for a while. This is an attempt to be helpful, don't get worked up over something so unimportant.
I'm not worked up.  My period came.

Quote from: Yorkshire pud on July 05, 2019, 09:07:41 AM
Bravo sir!! Back on the thread topic rather than having to field  sixteen's batshit crazy walls of text.
Not exactly.  This thread used to be a different topic called WOTR Does Suck, but that thread was interwoven with this one administratively.  So there is bound to be residual topic clouding.


Jojo

Dear WOTR,
You might not need a gas mask if you didn't walk behind the cows!
Sincerely,
Vegetarian

Jojo

Dear Life Coach WOTR,
     Was it difficult to get your saddle patented?
           Sincerely,
               Curious

paladin1991

Quote from: AZRAA on July 04, 2019, 09:47:42 AM
Remember our PMs.
You remember our PM's.  I will remember Paris, as it fell to the invaders.  *snif*

paladin1991

Quote from: WOTR on July 05, 2019, 12:00:53 AM



I swear to GOD, every time I see this, I am staring at the Chinese kid in the background with the 'Whaaat….?" look in his glasses. 

Jojo

Quote from: paladin1991 on July 08, 2019, 01:42:46 AM
You remember our PM's.  I will remember Paris, as it fell to the invaders.  *snif*
Harsh!  Harsh as WOTR's new saddle!

paladin1991

Quote from: Sixteen on July 08, 2019, 02:18:43 AM
Harsh!  Harsh as WOTR's new saddle!
Then don't use the saddle.  You prefer bare back anyway.

Roswells, Art

Someone has a problem with WOTR? Has the world gone completely mad?! Is no one safe?

WOTR, you know what you have to do. This comedy cow has just hoofed it into your living room. Please milk it for all it's worth for our entertainment.

We're counting on you!

Jojo

Quote from: paladin1991 on July 08, 2019, 03:30:08 PM
Then don't use the saddle.  You prefer bare back anyway.
Quote from: Roswells, Art on July 08, 2019, 03:51:19 PM
Someone has a problem with WOTR? Has the world gone completely mad?! Is no one safe?

WOTR, you know what you have to do. This comedy cow has just hoofed it into your living room. Please milk it for all it's worth for our entertainment.

We're counting on you!
The saddle is for him, not onhim.

Roswells, Art

Quote from: Sixteen on July 08, 2019, 04:05:27 PM
The saddle is for him, not on him.

But seriously though... you expected to get commiseration after posting about being mistreated by an interviewer on Bellgab. You got a perspective from a member that does that as a living and you went totally apeshit on him. He mentioned transference as to what you are doing to him now. Let us take a moment to see what that means:

From Goodtherapy.com: Transference is a psychological phenomenon in which an individual redirects emotions and feelings, often unconsciously, from one person to another.

You're taking out all your anger on WOTR that you feel for that rude interviewer.

I've seen you receive a lot of abuse on this forum and you take it in stride and sometimes it even seems you like the abuse/attention, now take that skill and use it in the real world to your benefit.

Jojo

Quote from: Roswells, Art on July 08, 2019, 04:23:13 PM
But seriously though... you expected to get commiseration after posting about being mistreated by an interviewer on Bellgab. You got a perspective from a member that does that as a living and you went totally apeshit on him. He mentioned transference as to what you are doing to him now. Let us take a moment to see what that means:

From Goodtherapy.com: Transference is a psychological phenomenon in which an individual redirects emotions and feelings, often unconsciously, from one person to another.

You're taking out all your anger on WOTR that you feel for that rude interviewer.

I've seen you receive a lot of abuse on this forum and you take it in stride and sometimes it even seems you like the abuse/attention, now take that skill and use it in the real world to your benefit.
He deserves it. 

Jojo

Quote from: Roswells, Art on July 08, 2019, 04:23:13 PM

But seriously though... you expected to get commiseration after posting [on Bellgab] about being mistreated by an interviewer on Bellgab.
FIFY (italics mine)

Roswells, Art

Quote from: Sixteen on July 08, 2019, 06:03:05 PM
FIFY

Haha, I'm a big editor and deleter of my own posts and I looked at that and really thought about it but decided to leave it as is because it still conveyed the same idea.

Roswells, Art

Quote from: Sixteen on July 08, 2019, 05:58:31 PM
He deserves it.

The person that was going to interview you then was rude to you might have deserved it, not WOTR.

Jojo

Nothing of the sort.  What happened was, I saw a video someone here posted about letting go.  I supported their idea by posting a couple buh-byes to a bitch.  That's it.  It was about 2 sentences of primal release.  It also did not include any meaningful description of the circumstances.  And then some hay-hoo came in with his can of spray paint, spun his fantasies all over my draft, and then got confrontational about it.

All I was doin' was letting go.  You would think a cowboy would be more comfortable with raw emotion.

Jojo

Quote from: Roswells, Art on July 08, 2019, 06:06:16 PM
The person that was going to interview you then was rude to you might have deserved it, not WOTR.
He likes it.

Jojo

Quote from: Roswells, Art on July 08, 2019, 06:04:54 PM
Haha, I'm a big editor and deleter of my own posts and I looked at that and really thought about it but decided to leave it as is because it still conveyed the same idea.
I spend several minutes PMing you to ask what interviewer you meant.  I wondered if BG had covert interviewers like Candid Camera.  I tried to think if anyone on BG ever interviewed me.  Anyhow, all's well that ends well.

Roswells, Art

Quote from: Sixteen on July 08, 2019, 06:19:00 PM
I spend several minutes PMing you to ask what interviewer you meant.  I wondered if BG had covert interviewers like Candid Camera.  I tried to think if anyone on BG ever interviewed me.  Anyhow, all's well that ends well.

Oh, haha. Yeah, I meant the interviewer that started this whole mess.

I don't check my PM's but just did so I guess I don't have to reply since you figured it all out.

Also, I guess I had some other PM's. I think Damon has been PM'ng Groyper again.

Jojo

Quote from: Roswells, Art on July 08, 2019, 04:23:13 PM
... He mentioned transference as to what you are doing to him now. Let us take a moment to see what that means:

From Goodtherapy.com: Transference is a psychological phenomenon in which an individual redirects emotions and feelings, often unconsciously, from one person to another.

You're taking out all your anger on WOTR that you feel...

Jojo

Quote from: Roswells, Art on July 08, 2019, 06:24:37 PM
Oh, haha. Yeah, I meant the interviewer that started this whole mess.

I don't check my PM's but just did so I guess I don't have to reply since you figured it all out.

Also, I guess I had some other PM's. I think Damon has been PM'ng Groyper again.
I sent you another one just now.  Naptime.

Jojo

Quote from: Roswells, Art on July 08, 2019, 04:23:13 PM
...

I've seen you receive a lot of abuse on this forum and you take it in stride and sometimes it even seems you like the abuse/attention, now take that skill and use it in the real world to your benefit.
I can't.  I have to work.  Just kidding.  But my long night shifts are starting up again. 

Roswells, Art

Quote from: Sixteen on July 08, 2019, 06:14:52 PM
He likes it.

Oh, is this some sort of mating ritual? Sorry to get in the way. Please continue.

Yorkshire pud

Quote from: Roswells, Art on July 08, 2019, 06:37:32 PM
Oh, is this some sort of mating ritual? Sorry to get in the way. Please continue.


The cover is blown now, but there was a gofundme being set up for the two love birds for one night in a motel of their choice, in Kansas.

Catsmile

# Imagine Working/Living With This
#...InsufferableTwat.

#BellGabIsAnOpenForum.
#NotYourPersonalWordpressBlog.
#<DealWithItSunglasses.JPG>



               #C:AllOfTheAbove
               #CorrectAnswer:C



Roswells, Art

Quote from: Catsmile on July 08, 2019, 07:38:48 PM
# Imagine Working/Living With This


I laughed out loud when she said she wore shopping bags on her hands so she didn't have to touch dirty doorknobs. Can you imagine renting out a room to someone that wears bags on their hands around your house?

lol. It still cracks me up.

K_Dubb

Quote from: Roswells, Art on July 08, 2019, 09:06:58 PM
I laughed out loud when she said she wore shopping bags on her hands so she didn't have to touch dirty doorknobs. Can you imagine renting out a room to someone that wears bags on their hands around your house?

lol. It still cracks me up.

That is funny.  have an aunt who is a complete germaphobe freak -- travels with rubber gloves and lysol and cleans the hotel bathroom or guest room first thing no matter how late -- and talks about it constantly, but has no problem at my house or certain friends and relations.  And I am far from scrupulous.  I couldn't figure it out for the longest time until I realized it has nothing whatever to do with germs and is instead a sort of passive-aggressive in-group and out-group tribal-identifier ritual thing she's got going on.  I kind of suspect the same thing here.

Jojo

Quote from: WOTR on July 05, 2019, 04:45:51 AM
...

You can argue with me all you want on this point (and I suspect you probably argued with her as well...) The fact remains that for whatever reason (even if it really was not your fault) you were not there.

I know this upsets you. ...

But I still would not bother to interview you if you walked in late.
Thank you for the invitation.  I like your stamina. 

You're still not getting it.  You are talking but we aren't communicating - your take has little to do with the reality of the situation.  You've inserted your own version.  Like putting words in my mouth and then judging me for your, presumed anti-ideals.

I didn't resent her for not interviewing me.  And I don't blame you for your late interviewee promptness policy.  I am not arguing about you not wanting to interview late applicants.  I totally understand that, and it's your perogative, just like it was the bitch's perogative.  No problem there.  And NO, I did NOT argue with her.  See, here you go again being so insulting.  What kind of idiot argues with an interviewer?  I verbally accepted responsibility, apologized briefly & sincerely, and left courteously/respectfully.  Are you listening?  I took the high road because I had inconvenienced her.  I took full responsibility.  There was no "resentment" in any of that.  Done deal.  No interview.  Win some; lose some.  Moving on.

Here are the actual things I resented:

She had two brown-nosers stand up in their cubicles and practically hang out the windows with binoculars on me as I came up.  I saw them watching me and I wondered what their scene was, so to gain the element of surprise (a small concession in a poor circumstance), I sped up dramatically as soon as I was out of their sight, which meant I entered the office several moments sooner than they anticipated.  Not expecting me for a couple more moments, I caught them yelling across the room to the bitch, "She's almost here," as they burst into laughter over theater they'd probably had a few times before.  At the sight of me sooner than expected, they shut up and actually looked a little ashamed.  Didn't seem like a work place, just a potluck and gossip central.  Hearing that cattle call, the bitch then literally over-stepped the receptionist (honestly, it looked like she stepped on her foot).  The receptionist winced, and used her palms to hold her forehead when the bitch couldn't see her.  The bitch pushed her way in front of her and THEN produced some very choice words to deeply, loudly insult my overall character, based on her snap-judgment perception.  Remember, my name had not yet been established.  She had not introduced herself.  I have no idea for certain that she is even the person with whom I was supposed to meet, and she likewise actually has no idea to this day if I actually was the person she was expecting.  It is entirely plausible that I was some other solicitor, or someone who had the wrong address, and that the bitch's real interviewee blew off the appointment.  Anyhow, moving on, the bitch deceitfully used her huge fucking clock on the wall, rigged up with the wrong time, to deceitfully make me (and anyone else, for her convenience) look late, even if I had not been.  As she trampled on the receptionist, she waved her arms, gesturing wildly to that wall idol as if it proved that I were a bad person.  It wasn't even accurate!  On a cozy little potluck day prior to a holiday weekend when business was slow or non-existent (2 employees, 1 receptionist, 18 empty, low cubicles...).  I believe she already knew who she was going to hire, and that she wanted to relax and party into her 3 or 4 day weekend.

Meanwhile, only 20 minutes prior to my arrival, I was suddenly, unexpectedly, unable to walk at all, for several minutes.  Being a responsible adult, I resolved that problem for the future by getting the necessary medical help and purchasing a portable cane just in case it happens again. 

I did not argue with her.  I just apologized for any inconvenience, and left.  Plausibly, I could have been someone lost in the neighborhood who needed directions, someone having chest pain who needed to use the phone, or a private courier with a delightfully small gift.  A person who decided to back out, when met with hostility.  She'll never really know now, will she?  It could have been jewelry, hmmm?  Or, on the other hand, I might have been late because someone did die, or I saved their life.  She didn't introduce herself or verify my name.  She was uncivil from the start.  I guess the thing that bothers me the worst, the absolute worst, is that for all she knows, I or someone near me might have actually had died or nearly died which may have caused me to be late, and this makes her tirade a potential indignation toward the plausible victim.  She was uncivil from the start, as well as insulting on purpose.  That's way worse than inadvertently being late due to an understandable and easily forgivable reason, forgivable, even though the interview was a moot point.  She could have forgiven me, yet still cancelled the interview.  That would have been perfectly appropriate.  Forgiveness does not necessarily lead to reconciliation; I get that.  Again, my resentment wasn't about salvaging any interview; that was water under the bridge.  It was about her not speaking civilly to me.

She could have accomplished everything she did, including being upset, being a little perturbed, not wanting a rapport, not wanting to hear excuses - she could have gotten all that across in roughly the same amount of time, while being respectful and inwardly allowing for the possibility that no disrespect had been intended and that there might have been (and there was) a very serious matter.  It could have been as simple as, "I am so-and-so.  Are you here for an interview with me?  I see.  I'm sure you took time out of your day to come.  Unfortunately, the time for our interview has passed and my schedule is full.  I would prefer not to reschedule, but thank you for applying."  As simple as that.  She didn't need to clownishly exaggerate by almost double, how late I was.  She didn't need to be self-righteous.  She didn't need to loudly insult my worth.  She didn't need to be abrupt.  And she didn't need to embarrass her receptionist.

It was probably almost a year ago. Those were the things I resented and let go of.  As far as the job or interview, like I said in my original post, I would not want to work there until after she retires or leaves the company.  So, as I originally indicated, NOT getting the interview was a blessing in disguise.

And don't get me wrong, WOTR, I think there are plenty of times for expressing angry, flipping out, etc...  Absolutely.  People get upset.  It is not against the law to get angry, have an argument, even yell.  However, it's not appropriate to speak uncivilly when a new acquaintence is just a few minutes late for a business appointment, and all the worse to do it in a small West Coast town in an area renowned for being laid back.

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