George Noory Sucks! - The Definitive Compendium

[Major Ed Damien]

Linda Moulton Howe set to get to the bottom of the rash of mysterious, unexplained explosions and bangs. She's set to perch on Jorch's bed with a parabolic dish and high quality headphones, after he eats a can of beans and some hot pizza rolls, then bids her nighty-night, ready for an exciting night of dreaming about her slot on Coast to Coast.

When he mentioned her slot last night he seemed unusually animated. He must ponder her slot often.

At the Christmas party, George drunkenly expressed his dark fear that Linda's slot may have been replaced with one of the missing cow anuses by aliens.

"I'm crazy about her," he said, "but I don't know what I would do in that event.  Now that would be buzz-are.  I tried to lick our dog's balls once as a kid.  But a cow's anus . . . well, that's pretty dramatic."

[PB the Deplorable]

At the Christmas party, George drunkenly expressed his dark fear that Linda's slot may have been replaced with one of the missing cow anuses by aliens.

"I'm crazy about her," he said, "but I don't know what I would do in that event.  Now that would be buzz-are...

Time to put in a call to the somber ernest Whitley Streiber to sort authenticity from speculation on the subject

[Major Ed Damien]

Time to put in a call to the somber ernest Whitley Streiber to sort authenticity from speculation on the subject

I agree.

Whitley seems to be familiar with these "unknown countries."

Don't excuse the pun.


http://www.unknowncountry.com/

[albrecht]

At the Christmas party, George drunkenly expressed his dark fear that Linda's slot may have been replaced with one of the missing cow anuses by aliens.

"I'm crazy about her," he said, "but I don't know what I would do in that event.  Now that would be buzz-are.  I tried to lick our dog's balls once as a kid.  But a cow's anus . . . well, that's pretty dramatic."

Hey. Let's put a stop to this misogyny and, worse, insulting of one of the few remaining, and working, people associated with the best of Art Bell's career. She might've been a beauty queen, she might have been a little bit naive and accepting of anybody's stories, but she has been a hard worker, honest in her reporting (to her detriment perhaps), and amazingly long-lived on the circuit. I like LMH and will defend her honor. If anything LISTEN! She manages to over-come Norry. (And recently Jimmy Church- the new blessed one apparently) by talking without rant, without hyperbole, etc. So at least you don't need to hear them! She can lull to sleep the crazed beasts or the even idiotic. She gets interviews from actual people in scientific or government positions (at least until their boss hears their tape-recording on C2C later) or from less-than scientific witnesses but treats them the same (reporter shouldn't judge! )  I like LMH.

[PB the Deplorable]

...  I like LMH.

I like her too.  She actually goes out and investigates.  And puts up with the Snorge.

Could do without the cattle mutilation, UFO, and crop circle crap though.  Until someone has some definitive answers, I don't want to hear about it anymore (are you listening George Knapp?)

[WOTR]

While Putin enabler Stephen Cohen mostly told the truth, he did not tell the whole truth:

2.Putin enabler Stephen Cohen said he disagreed with... Nikita Khrushchev ... Leonid Brezhnev... Andropov and Chernenko... Gorbachev and Yeltsin.

3... Given that Europeans of all nationalities live all over Europe and that defending nationalities outside the borders would risk wars all over Europe, I don't see how Cohen can seriously believe Putin's stance is justifiable.

Dear Mr. 136 or 142 (whichever the case may be):
You are hereby ordered to cease and desist using history to your advantage when arguing.  Henceforth, I demand that you simply accept the opinions and untruths wrapped up as history and presented for your consumption.


Failure to heed the demands that are set forth above while consuming mind numbing interviews on Coast will result in immediate anger, frustration and disillusionment that a host would allow claims to go unchallenged and that a guest would make them.


Please understand that I am only looking out for your sanity if not your intellect.

[Major Ed Damien]

Hey. Let's put a stop to this misogyny and, worse, insulting of one of the few remaining, and working, people associated with the best of Art Bell's career. She might've been a beauty queen, she might have been a little bit naive and accepting of anybody's stories, but she has been a hard worker, honest in her reporting (to her detriment perhaps), and amazingly long-lived on the circuit. If anything LISTEN! She manages to over-come Norry. (And recently Jimmy Church- the new blessed one apparently) by talking without rant, without hyperbole, etc. So at least you don't need to hear them! She can lull to sleep the crazed beasts or the even idiotic. She gets interviews from actual people in scientific or government positions (at least until their boss hears their tape-I like LMH and will defend her honor. recording on C2C later) or from less-than scientific witnesses but treats them the same (reporter shouldn't judge! )  I like LMH.

"Hey. Let's put a stop to this misogyny and, worse . . . "


Hey.  Let's don't.  Let's keep making fun of cow vajaynuses transplanted by aliens . . . until the cows come home.

And when did laughing at them become "misogyny"?

Does laughing at George's wig and tar-dipped 'stache constitute "man-hate?"

I didn't think so.


"(S)he has been a hard worker . . . "


Washing machines work hard too -- day and night sometimes -- but I'm not going to write a boilerplate-looking paragraph extolling them for it.  We kinda need a point here.


"I like LMH and will defend her honor."


Is there really any honor in being a regular guest on a program like George Noory's?  How much honor can rub off onto Linda Molding from her fellow kooks Katherine Albrecht, Steven Quayle and the nutty professor -- the one who claims that the World Trade Center was demolished by a top secret death ray fired by our government?  Oops, two of those have vaginas.  Bad misogynist!

I'm not laughing at Linda for having a vagina.  I'm happy she has one.  You know, at least it isn't talking about mutilated cows.  May it live long and prosper.  It'd be even nicer if she continues not to let George Noory into it.

No, I'm laughing at what's in her head -- and Dickhead Hoagland's.  Can we call Dick a dickhead?  Is that going to offend?  I didn't think so.

I'm laughing at her for being of the kook, by the kook, and for the kook.  And hoping that sanity shall not perish from the earth.

It's the American way.

[Beelzebubbelah]

I like her too.  She actually goes out and investigates.  And puts up with the Snorge.

Could do without the cattle mutilation, UFO, and crop circle crap though.  Until someone has some definitive answers, I don't want to hear about it anymore (are you listening George Knapp?)

Heilsa,All!
I cannot help but feel really annoyed by the nasty words about Mz.Howe.
I'm sure noone of you keyboard warriours(c)whom post this sailor/little boy potty-word stuff are willing to say this to her in person.
I'm willing to admit she's pushing her on-line sales agenda,but,I'm willing to put up with it.
I cannot afford to buy in-to her site's huxtering books,on-line,personal skypes,etc.
However,she seems to be "A Nice Girl who has fallen in among bad Companions",to quote someone who was referring to an elder diva long ago.
I would also point out,her original research some thirty-forty odd years ago is pretty damn good for the time when most anomalists and ufologists(ovni-istes?)
Were like fairy-fluffy-bunny pushers,yet few publicly did reporting because nightmare type paranormal ufology was an third-rail killer of one's career.
In addition,I will throw in that,I actually found her through an quickly-suppressed news story series produced in an private,secure,hush-hush,clandestine news periodical by the post-Manson-ish Ed.Sanders,erstwhile owner of the "Peace Eye"book store.
Any-one else want to throw down any corroboration,here?

[GeorgieForPresident2216]

I like LMH.  I appreciate her style of reporting.  I turned it off last night because I was tired and the topics she was covering didn't interest me.

[Jorch Einstein]

Hmm...I suppose the accusation of misogyny should be levelled at Jorch, since he brought up Linda's slot on Coast last night. Perhaps he wasn't thinking in prurient terms, but was merely discussing her guest slots on Coast. Who knows? As someone once told Mr. Freud, sometimes a pencil is just a pencil. However, I suppose Jorch could have been thinking of a vending machine slot. For example, when he metaphorically inserts a slug into the slot of LMH, instead of receiving a box of pizza rolls, or some other useful foodstuff, he receives two hours of Linda reading from her notes in a monotone drone. Well, at least he can catch up on his sleep.
BTW, LMH is credulous as hell, and if I told her a UFO flew out of my butt last night, I'm sure she would report it on her next slot on Coast. She's nuttier than a fruitcake, and an experienced distorter of the truth.

[WOTR]

I like LMH.  I appreciate her style of reporting...

I would agree.  I usually miss her because my radio is almost never even accidentally tuned to Coast anymore.  However, she used to be worth listening to.  I buy roughly 5% of what she says, but she was usually pretty good.  Unless something drastic has changed, I would say that a few people are being a little hard on her.


Besides, would you rather Jorch, or LMH?  I would not want to listen to her nightly, but every now and then she is good for a change.

[laserjock]

I like her also.

[Major Ed Damien]

Heilsa,All!
I cannot help but feel really annoyed by the nasty words about Mz.Howe.
I'm sure noone of you keyboard warriours(c)whom post this sailor/little boy potty-word stuff are willing to say this to her in person.

"I'm sure noone (sic) of you keyboard warriours(c) (sic) whom (sic) post this sailor/little boy potty-word stuff are willing to say this to her in person."



Why not?  You need to be more specific here.

Would somebody daring and awful enough to satirize her nutty pronouncements about the earth and space be trampled to death by a herd of alien-controlled cattle directed to the victim via a chip implanted deep in her ass?

Would the skies open up and rain an ocean of cowshit on the doomed speaker who dared to confront one monotone-voiced goofball on the radio?

Is her boyfriend a prized seed bull who has threatened to "punch anybody who insults her honor right in the cud?"

Does she have police relatives who will cite the miscreant with a mooooo-ving violation?

You need to be more specific.

We need more cowbell.

[narcissist noory]

We need less George

[WOTR]

We need less George

I was going to say "anybody but George"... But then I remembered Wells.  There are not many worse than 'ol Georgie boy, but the do try (and have, on occasion, succeeded.)

[Scully]

I was going to say "anybody but George"... But then I remembered Wells.  There are not many worse than 'ol Georgie boy, but they do try (and have, on occasion, succeeded.)

Truer words were never spoken.  Wells and Lisa Garr share that honor. 

[Major Ed Damien]

Hmm...I suppose the accusation of misogyny should be levelled at Jorch, since he brought up Linda's slot on Coast last night. Perhaps he wasn't thinking in prurient terms, but was merely discussing her guest slots on Coast. Who knows? As someone once told Mr. Freud, sometimes a pencil is just a pencil. However, I suppose Jorch could have been thinking of a vending machine slot. For example, when he metaphorically inserts a slug into the slot of LMH, instead of receiving a box of pizza rolls, or some other useful foodstuff, he receives two hours of Linda reading from her notes in a monotone drone. Well, at least he can catch up on his sleep.
BTW, LMH is credulous as hell, and if I told her a UFO flew out of my butt last night, I'm sure she would report it on her next slot on Coast. She's nuttier than a fruitcake, and an experienced distorter of the truth.

Nice job.

[WOTR]

Truer words were never spoken.  Wells and Lisa Garr share that honor. 

I appreciate your adding the missing "Y" to my quote so that it made sense.


I had almost forgot about Lisa Garr.  She is a whole different world of suck from Wells.  Yet, somehow, she manages to be at the same level as him.  So, there are at least two hosts who are noticeably worse than Jorch.

[laserjock]

The difference between Garr and Wells is he is offensive and she is sickly sweet.  Wells makes me want to punch something.

[Jorch Einstein]

I was going to say "anybody but George"... But then I remembered Wells.  There are not many worse than 'ol Georgie boy, but the do try (and have, on occasion, succeeded.)

Hear, hear! Wells is even more dangerously stupid than Jorch. In some parts of the country, however, Wells is considered an intellectual on par with Larry the Cable Guy.
I would have loved to have been granted permission to board the Coast mothership while Commander Wells was on duty, so I could have poured my properly brewed cup of tea right over his head.

[Major Ed Damien]

Hear, hear! Wells is even more dangerously stupid than Jorch. In some parts of the country, however, Wells is considered an intellectual on par with Larry the Cable Guy.
I would have loved to have been granted permission to board the Coast mothership while Commander Wells was on duty, so I could have poured my properly brewed cup of tea right over his head.

Yeah, I think Wells' low point was when he suckled the ass of the guest from the John Birch Society -- a group whose kook founder once got on national television and accused President Dwight D. Eisenhower of being a Soviet agent.

No, wait, I'm wrong.  Wells really went into the shit tank when he toadied to the deranged callers who slobbered about the Sandy Hook school massacre being carried out by the federal government in order to confiscate all firearms.

It's why he's not on the show any more and likely why Ian Punnett -- a lay theologian with a career to worry about -- had to flee.

[Nebraska888]

The difference between Garr and Wells is he is offensive and she is sickly sweet.  Wells makes me want to punch something.

I agree.....

[Jorch Einstein]

No, wait, I'm wrong.  Wells really went into the shit tank when he toadied to the deranged callers who slobbered about the Sandy Hook school massacre being carried out by the federal government in order to confiscate all firearms.

It's why he's not on the show any more and likely why Ian Punnett -- a lay theologian with a career to worry about -- had to flee.

Yeah, when choosing the low points of Coast there really is an abundance of low points to choose from. However, Wells' handling of the Sandy Hook incident has got to be the lowest. Disgusting.

[yumyumtree]

So, this may not be a very bright question, but who was hosting Fri. night?

[albrecht]

So, this may not be a very bright question, but who was hosting Fri. night?

Dave Schrader. He has his own show in Minnesota called "Darkness on the Edge of Town" (shortened usually to "Darkness Radio") which can be pretty good though he often has "true crime" nights which I don't like so much. But, on whole, he is pretty good at hosting C2C. Tends to allow callers a little too-much leeway sometimes (reading diatribes or scriptures) but better than you-know-who.

[Major Ed Damien]

A song for Linda Moulton Howe.


"I Stalk Bovine"

(sung to the tune of "I Walk the Line" by Johnny Cash)



I keep a close watch on all things bovine.
I see the cow's ass carved up all the time. ­­­‪­‪­­­­­‪‪­­‪­­­‪­­‪­­‪‪‪­‪­­­‪‪‪­­‪‪‪‪‪‪‪‪

‪‪‪‪‪‪
I think a bull took off like an airline.

I lost my mind.

I stalk bovine.




I'm finding aliens are very into moo.

I toy with cow ass till each day is through.

Yes, I'll admit I've got a loosened screw.


I lost my mind.

I stalk bovine.

As sure as cow shit is dark and day is light.
I think that aliens are sawing every night.
They take the parts off for a burger bite.

I lost my mind.
I stalk bovine.

[norrykilledc2c]

Very nice rendition ^^^


I'm listening to Art Bell Somewhere in Time, a 1997 interview with Father Malachy(sp?). It is pure radio perfection- filled with thoughtful questions, intelligent answers, and callers adding to the conversation. At the same time it is very depressing, realizing that shitfuck mushmouth Noory is all that's left of C2C. Fuck you George Noory. You suck shit.

[norrykilledc2c]

Dave Schrader. He has his own show in Minnesota called "Darkness on the Edge of Town" (shortened usually to "Darkness Radio") which can be pretty good though he often has "true crime" nights which I don't like so much. But, on whole, he is pretty good at hosting C2C. Tends to allow callers a little too-much leeway sometimes (reading diatribes or scriptures) but better than you-know-who.

IMHO he's the best C2C host these days.

[Major Ed Damien]

"I Stalk Bovine"


Discarded verse:




I know that George Noory craves my piece of tail.
But he's as dumb as a poor beheaded snail.
I like a dead cow more than any male.
I've lost my mind.
I stalk bovine.

[narcissist noory]

The difference between Garr and Wells is he is offensive and she is sickly sweet.  Wells makes me want to punch something.

In websters under sickly sweet is Garrs pic or should be