Let's write a novel one post at a time.

[GravitySucks]

Matt shook his fist and swore under his breath. He watched the shows about prepping. Damn fools. He had better things to spend his time and money on.

It had been over 50 years since someone was foolish enough to detonate a nuclear device in the atmosphere. But back then, society did not stop. Life moved on. What were the last words of the talk show host?  Expect to lose power. Expect to lose water pressure soon after. Food will be gone in days. Local, state and federal governments are not prepared to offer assistance. This unprovoked attack by a mad man...

Who was it?  North Korea?  Russia? Iran?

[Swishypants]

JUST THEN, old-school 1985 style, long-haired, bearded, blue-jean wearing DELTA FORCE guys charged in from out of nowhere, lashed to the side of a Defender 500 helicopter. The little bird buzzed in low and fast, then pivoted skyward until obscured by low hanging cumulonimbus clouds. Several seconds past, and then from out of the sun--fish-tailing wildly like a retarded shirako--it dove at Matts ugly God damn face! The choppa' pulled up at the very last second and flared hard! Just short of smashing into the walls of Matts' tiny abode, it scraped Terra firma and short-skidded mirthfully to an abrupt stop! Small but powerful loud speakers mounted to its' tether-bars blared Van Halens' 5150, and Sammy Hagar was riding shot-gun; a Cheshire grin peeked out beneath the Red Rockers shock of ginger curls as they flapped out of control across his eyebrows!

It was obvious that it was showtime, and not one more moment could be spared for his irritating bouts mental masturbation! Matt became fully erect, and grabbed his Marlin 30-30 with the Texan stock from above the fireplace, a pocket full of cartridges, and 7 rubbers from the ash-tray! He then bolted toward the chopper at breakneck speed! "ROCK ON!" Sammy Hagar screamed, as Matt wedged himself between the back seats of the agile machine. Positive collective was wrung out as the RPM pushed into the red as oil pressure warning lights blinked rapid-fire. The Pilot cut an icy glance--full of pussiness and jealousy--at his co-pilot but just Sammy snapped back "That's the way I like it!" The little bird rose and reversed, tucked into a snap-roll and was off-and-up-out, like a spotted-assed ape racing across the African veld. It was out of sight within mere moments! Matt felt profound relief.


https://youtu.be/np6klMgkFQk

[Swishypants]

I broke the rules! DELETE THIS!!!

[BobGrau]

5) Only post in this thread if you are adding to the novel.  All other posts will be deleted.

I must confess I thought this thread was no longer particularly active, please either delete my recent dribblings or stick them in Random Stupid Things, my spiritual home.

[Swishypants]

I must confess I thought this thread was no longer particularly active, please either delete my recent dribblings or stick them in Random Stupid Things, my spiritual home.

The normal Hitler Youth trappings of other forum Moderators are severely lacking on this site. MV is totally slacking at it's making me feel uneasy, like he's in the bushes or something waiting to spring upon me at any moment. I haven't found a website that hasn't banned me within 3 weeks before this one and it's starting to eat away at my confidence. Am I losing my effectiveness?

[Walks_At_Night]

The normal Hitler Youth trappings of other forum Moderators are severely lacking on this site. MV is totally slacking at it's making me feel uneasy, like he's in the bushes or something waiting to spring upon me at any moment. I haven't found a website that hasn't banned me within 3 weeks before this one and it's starting to eat away at my confidence. Am I losing my effectiveness?

You are just following the typical pattern for a poster of your archetype.  It's a four stage process. Now the time to move from stage to
stage varies but the steps and the inevitable result are always the same.

Stage 1.  Start out brash and bold in an attempt to piss people off while checking out the lay of the land.

Stage 2. Revel in the freedom that is bellgab.  Realize that 98% of BG posters don't give a rats rump about
             you or your postings.  Either through ennui, apathy or the "Don't feed the troll" mantra.   This inevitably,
             leads to the starting of some outlandish threads followed an extended pissing contest with  either Jack, Doc
             or perhaps even Pud.     

Stage 3: Realization that you can't win the pissing contest and by now it's gotten stale.  You try and play it straight for a
             bit - ala the Sammy thread.  However, at your core stuff like that just ain't you. The fact that you've shit
             posted for weeks and MV doesn't even know who the hell you are begins to gnaw away at you.

Step 4:  Trapped in Limbo.  You can't thrive yet you can not die and get banned.   Self doubt gnaws away at you like battery acid.
             In desperation you end up taking the gas pipe and start posting pictures of men gobbling other men's
             penis's.  Finally MV has to take notice and you are finally liberated.


Seems like you have just entered stage 3.

[Swishypants]

You are just following the typical pattern for a poster of your archetype.  It's a four stage process. Now the time to move from stage to
stage varies but the steps and the inevitable result are always the same.

Stage 1.  Start out brash and bold in an attempt to piss people off while checking out the lay of the land.

Stage 2. Revel in the freedom that is bellgab.  Realize that 98% of BG posters don't give a rats rump about
             you or your postings.  Either through ennui, apathy or the "Don't feed the troll" mantra.   This inevitably,
             leads to the starting of some outlandish threads followed an extended pissing contest with  either Jack, Doc
             or perhaps even Pud.     

Stage 3: Realization that you can't win the pissing contest and by now it's gotten stale.  You try and play it straight for a
             bit - ala the Sammy thread.  However, at your core stuff like that just ain't you. The fact that you've shit
             posted for weeks and MV doesn't even know who the hell you are begins to gnaw away at you.

Step 4:  Trapped in Limbo.  You can't thrive yet you can not die and get banned.   Self doubt gnaws away at you like battery acid.
             In desperation you end up taking the gas pipe and start posting pictures of men gobbling other men's
             penis's.  Finally MV has to take notice and you are finally liberated.


Seems like you have just entered stage 3.

Jeezus! There are "protractors" and shit for jerking around now. Did you guess all your Christmas Presents by December 10th as a kid?  I just want to drive fast, throw water on things, and leave a mess! Is that so wrong? The internet isn't real life! It's nonsense!

[Swishypants]

I just wanted to make myself laugh and laugh. Feels Bad man. 

[Walks_At_Night]

I just wanted to make myself laugh and laugh. Feels Bad man. 

Sorry about that - never my intention to make anyone feel bad on here.  Just horsing around.   Now I feel bad   

[Dr. MD MD]

Jeezus! There are "protractors" and shit for jerking around now. Did you guess all your Christmas Presents by December 10th as a kid?  I just want to drive fast, throw water on things, and leave a mess! Is that so wrong? The internet isn't real life! It's nonsense!

[Jojo]

The normal Hitler Youth trappings of other forum Moderators are severely lacking on this site. MV is totally slacking at it's making me feel uneasy, like he's in the bushes or something waiting to spring upon me at any moment. I haven't found a website that hasn't banned me within 3 weeks before this one and it's starting to eat away at my confidence. Am I losing my effectiveness?

Turn about is fair play, muttered Katrina as she deposited the worst of her household garbage sack onto the doorstep of the Beverly hillbilly who she suspected of leaving the raccoon carcass to rot out in the open, causing queasy pants all over the block.

She had known Matt's hot shot son would come rescue him, and that they might return for her, so she checked Matt's door to see if he had left his place unlocked!  He did - and once she was inside, she secured all the windows and located any and all of his spare keys, discreetly making sure they worked.  She grabbed his landline phone and cord in case service was restored, and mentally inventoried his resources, grabbing a few as she imagined ways to discreetly transfer the most valuable, most perishable, and most hydrating items to her apartment. 

[Jojo]

Turn about is fair play, muttered Katrina as she deposited the worst of her household garbage sack onto the doorstep of the Beverly hillbilly who she suspected of leaving the raccoon carcass to rot out in the open, causing queasy pants all over the block.

She had known Matt's hot shot son would come rescue him, and that they might return for her, so she checked Matt's door to see if he had left his place unlocked!  He did - and once she was inside, she secured all the windows and located any and all of his spare keys, discreetly making sure they worked.  She grabbed his landline phone and cord in case service was restored, and mentally inventoried his resources, grabbing a few as she imagined ways to discreetly transfer the most valuable, most perishable, and most hydrating items to her apartment.

As she stuffed her shirt and pockets with Matt's money and small goods, she wondered where he and his son went and how long it would be before they returned for her.  There were enough provisions here for quite a while, as long as nothing was looted.  She wondered if any families would band together during this chaos, or if it was every man for himself.  Cities aren't the best place when infrastructure crumbles, but it could be worse.

[Jojo]

As she stuffed her shirt and pockets with Matt's money and small goods, she wondered where he and his son went and how long it would be before they returned for her.  There were enough provisions here for quite a while, as long as nothing was looted.  She wondered if any families would band together during this chaos, or if it was every man for himself.  Cities aren't the best place when infrastructure crumbles, but it could be worse.

Infrastructure was weak, and communications were still out after two weeks, and regular provisions for citizens were frighteningly low.  As calculating as it was, she had no choice but to keep an eye out for a strong dude or family to consider pioneering to the hills with, where they could catch clean rain water, forage, plant, fish and shoot birds to cook somehow.  She wanted Matt and his son to know her location, though, since they would help her and come for her, and this apartment was the only location they knew of for her.  After a dismal, short walk in broad daylight, she returned home to discover Matt still had her house key, as there was a much appreciated care package on the table!