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Things That Annoy You

Started by onan, May 22, 2011, 02:41:35 AM


Swishypants

Quote from: Jojo on November 03, 2017, 01:03:49 AM
More like semi-retreaded!

You have tires instead of arms and legs? Are you an Autobot?

Jojo

Quote from: Swishypants on November 03, 2017, 01:02:45 AM
Do you design packaging for intimate personal lubricants meant to convey a sense of gentleness, but that insinuate easily achievable orgasms as well?
What?  They do that?

Swishypants

Quote from: Jojo on November 03, 2017, 01:04:42 AM
I want steak.

Is that what they make you call the customers penis'? Dear God! Your life is an absolute horror show!


Jojo

Quote from: Swishypants on November 03, 2017, 01:04:49 AM
You have tires instead of arms and legs? Are you an Autobot?
Have you seen the new Ad-based CAPTCHAs?  Someone had a lucrative idea.  I saw my first one today.  It was weird, like a little coercive!  I had to type "Send money" for an ad for money orders on a CAPTCHA in order to get past it.  I felt like i was in marketing, weird.

Jojo

Quote from: Swishypants on November 03, 2017, 01:05:43 AM
Is that what they make you call the customers penis'? Dear God! Your life is an absolute horror show!
Quote from: Swishypants on November 03, 2017, 01:06:12 AM
Somebody does it. K.Y. Jelly!
I see you put your uniform back on.  Well, it wasn't all bad. 

Swishypants

Quote from: Jojo on November 03, 2017, 01:08:39 AM
Have you seen the new Ad-based CAPTCHAs?  Someone had a lucrative idea.  I saw my first one today.  It was weird, like a little coercive!  I had to type "Send money" for an ad for money orders on a CAPTCHA in order to get past it.  I felt like i was in marketing, weird.

You smoke a lot of weed do ya? You on the reefer? Have you dropped a dose of wackey-tabaccy?

Swishypants

You're driving me nuts with your cryptic, nonsensical text. I'm going to go jack off to some kind of weird midget porn now and clear my head.

Jojo

Quote from: Jojo on November 03, 2017, 01:10:59 AM
I see you put your uniform back on.  Well, it wasn't all bad. 
To use your word, that was "cryptic"  for,  "Our special moment has gone by, and you are back to your typical self.  Well, it was a good time."

I don't do substance abuse btw.  The cops were here because a mentally ill man showed up lost.  He kept droppin' his drawers, which truly and literally were held up with a brown extension cord.  A guy from the back-house and I made him a rope belt.  I don't know how his visit ended, because the landlady drove up.  She could handle him.  I went back inside, because I didnt want her asking me any questions about my supposed restaurant dinner last night, especially menu questions, as I had forgotten to Google their menu.  Anyhow, I left her with the loony guy.  Fair punishment, for her.  I tried to give him her lighter too, lol.

There's no major crimes here.  I can't report them for not feeding me steak!  Last time they did it, I pulled out my own steak and they turned red while I cooked it.  But their consciences were short-lived, I see.  Last night, I didn't happen to have a steak to pull out, so when I saw their ruse, I literally un-dished the plate I had just filled.  I scrubbed the steak broiler pan clean, for time to think of a way out of dinner while my pulse was thick with rage. I calmed down enough to explain to the landlady that a friend had just texted me, asking me out.

I like renting a room.  Previously, I owned two homes which I purchased from earned income, but much later my job was down-sized due to off-shoring. Three years after the layoff, I had serious health challenges, and no insurance plan.  That was before national healthcare.  Two years after the injury, I relocated for a job.  So, the decade has been humble.  But not so humble that I would yet condone inequity at the dinner table.  Cleaning up after dinner for six, contributing to an extent to groceries and household supplies, in addition to rent, certainly warrants a normal plate of whatever is being served.  I was invited, and have been cordial.  But, since they have no class, I think I will do as the other current and previous tenants have done here, which is to avoid the dinner table and contribute less to the household. And, drumroll, the rent check is still in my pocket.  I think I'll make her ask for it.

Ok well thanks for offering to help.  I'm good this quarter, but don't change your number, just in case!  Show time wasn't bad.  Have a good night. 

P.S.  It is rarely too late to repent.  The Master Troll might own people's fears, but he doesn't really own souls!

Swishypants

You're sweet. I just don't get the food deal. It's fuckin' weird! Listen, I'm looking for a live-in sex slave to boost my shattered ego, following being born with a micro-penis. Do you think you could do dishes and occasionally breath hot breath on it and make it squirt like an empty squirt-gun? The pay will be 15 dreidels. Also, I fart a lot. But I have an extra freezer full of AAA grass fed steak, and I don't mind if you're weird so long as a you are super hot! :)

P.S. I also have a retired US Army combat dog that has PTSD and might kill us all if the mail man shows up again, but he's well trained and it will be painful but quick if he freaks out! :)

Jojo

Quote from: Swishypants on November 03, 2017, 04:28:48 AM
You're sweet. I just don't get the food deal. It's fuckin' weird! Listen, I'm looking for a live-in sex slave to boost my shattered ego, following being born with a micro-penis. Do you think you could do dishes and occasionally breath hot breath on it? The pay will be 15 dreidels. Also, I fart a lot. But I have an extra freezer full of AAA grass fed steak, and I don't mind if you're weird so long as a you are super hot! :)
How did you know I like dreidels!  But, alas, you really need love and Lactaid. Bfn.
Who did i take it for tonite!

Swishypants

Quote from: Jojo on November 03, 2017, 04:35:53 AM
How did you know I like dreidels!  But, alas, you really need love and Lactaid. Bfn.
Who did i take it for tonite!

I just always wanted a harem of hot chicks that would be willing to have "lazy sex" all the time. :)  You know, talk about politics and taking the dog to the vet, the price of gasoline, and what TV show is good right now, while getting off at the speed of molasses and then cooking dinner out of an old up-end cook book. I figure if one chick doesn't want to they can draw straws. "I'm tired, so try to make this quick ok?"  Life in old pajamas.  One day I shall achieve my dream! :)

Jojo

Quote from: Swishypants on November 03, 2017, 04:40:12 AM
I just always wanted a harem of hot chicks that would be willing to have "lazy sex" all the time. :)  You know, talk about politics and taking the dog to the vet, the price of gasoline, and what TV show is good right now, while getting off at the speed of molasses and then cooking dinner out of an old up-end cook book. I figure if one chick doesn't want to they can draw straws. "I'm tired, so try to make this quick ok?"  Life in old pajamas.  One day I shall achieve my dream! :)
Did you know the pill has abortifacients in it?  In other words, in order to attain its huge success rate (like 98% i think), manufacturers have included the Morning After abortion stuff (or somethin just like it), in birth control pills.  That way, if the regular hormonal contraceptive fails, there is the back-up plan, built in by the manufacturer.

But if one of your harem got pregnant, she'd have to go through Hell ang stigma to get a doctor to prescribe her a Morning After pill.  Evidently, manufacturers are allowed a lot of lattitude, but women aren't.

Jojo

Things That Annoy You:
Thread killers!

50lb tension springs at the top of the ladies's room door!  Whatever for!

Swishypants

Quote from: Jojo on November 04, 2017, 02:46:24 AM
Did you know the pill has abortifacients in it?  In other words, in order to attain its huge success rate (like 98% i think), manufacturers have included the Morning After abortion stuff (or somethin just like it), in birth control pills.  That way, if the regular hormonal contraceptive fails, there is the back-up plan, built in by the manufacturer.

But if one of your harem got pregnant, she'd have to go through Hell ang stigma to get a doctor to prescribe her a Morning After pill.  Evidently, manufacturers are allowed a lot of lattitude, but women aren't.

I only have sex with older women who have their tubes tied. ;)  They are much more nurturing and experienced. They keep themselves in shape though, and sex doesn't have to come with a lot of posturing bullshit attached. "Wanna' get off?" "Sure!" et. al.

Jojo

Quote from: Swishypants on November 04, 2017, 02:57:53 AM
I only have sex with older women who have their tubes tied. ;)  They are much more nurturing and experienced. They keep themselves in shape though, and sex doesn't have to come with a lot of posturing bullshit attached. "Wanna' get off?" "Sure!" et. al.
You'll say anything.

Jojo

Landladies who make sure their fami!y eats all the good stuff, then calls you to "dinner" late.  You arrive, and all that good food you smelled cooking all afternoon is gone, and only garbage is left.  I even helped cooked it, although she doesn't know that because she wasnt home.  Wow.

I sat, scoped it out, then got up and said, "Well, if no one is going to join me for dinner, I guess I'll go finish my work.  I just was being sociable, but it looks like no one is coming to dinner."

THEY. JUST. WANTED. ME. TO. CLEAN. UP!    But sorry.. no steak-y, no Cinderella-y.  From now on, I wont eat, even if I do sit with them.  I dont eat rat food.

Dr. MD MD

Quote from: Jojo on November 06, 2017, 05:28:40 AM
Landladies who make sure their fami!y eats all the good stuff, then calls you to "dinner" late.  You arrive, and all that good food you smelled cooking all afternoon is gone, and only garbage is left.  I even helped cooked it, although she doesn't know that because she wasnt home.  Wow.

I sat, scoped it out, then got up and said, "Well, if no one is going to join me for dinner, I guess I'll go finish my work.  I just was being sociable, but it looks like no one is coming to dinner."

THEY. JUST. WANTED. ME. TO. CLEAN. UP!    But sorry.. no steak-y, no Cinderella-y.  From now on, I wont eat, even if I do sit with them.  I dont eat rat food.

Sounds like you need to move.

Jojo

Quote from: Dr. MD MD on November 06, 2017, 09:44:57 AM
Sounds like you need to move.
I dont know where i would move to.  There is so lttle housing that the government is paying homeowners to buy and rent out 300 square feet shacks on their property!  And ours is already filled!

Jojo

When boyfriends open the door to a public ladies room, and shout to their girlfriends.  It sounds like they are IN there!

Swishypants

JoJo, I'm going to have to call bullshit on you Hon. You live in a tiny room, in a house full of fat pervs, are starving to death, and pine for a boyfriend, and are a cat-lady? Unless you are a 13 year old girl and making shit up, nobodies life can be this pathetic.  If it is, it's because you are one of those chemically imbalanced broads who loves her desperate situation so she can try to garner sympathy from everyone she can find that will listen to her. Get a Job, or create one for yourself, move to a nicer place, go to the grocery store, lose the cats, work-out, and get some dick lady! And stop posting on this shitty forum. Take six months and turn your life around!

Dyna-X

People that hype up Panera Bread every time a sandwich is mentioned get under my skin. Why in the heck anyone gets excited over bland sandwiches and cheapskate portions and so-so coffee is beyond me. Everything there is overpriced as well.

coaster

literally everything and every person ever.

ShayP

Quote from: coaster on November 09, 2017, 06:44:55 PM
literally everything and every person ever.

I always knew we had something in common.

ksm32

Ron, annoys the hell outta me. You don't know em' but trust me on this.

Jojo

Quote from: Swishypants on November 08, 2017, 05:43:36 AM
JoJo, I'm going to have to call bullshit on you Hon. You live in a tiny room, in a house full of fat pervs, are starving to death, and pine for a boyfriend, and are a cat-lady? Unless you are a 13 year old girl and making shit up, nobodies life can be this pathetic.  If it is, it's because you are one of those chemically imbalanced broads who loves her desperate situation so she can try to garner sympathy from everyone she can find that will listen to her. Get a Job, or create one for yourself, move to a nicer place, go to the grocery store, lose the cats, work-out, and get some dick lady! And stop posting on this shitty forum. Take six months and turn your life around!
This forum is worth at least $5,000.00 in general, not counting its value to an Art Bell collector!
Don't give me sympathy on Veterans' Day!  At least wait until tomorrow!
Where did you see me pine for romance?
"Go to the grocery store"?  What kind of thing is that to say to a hungry person?  Gees.
I work, although I'm seeking more hours!
I only support one small, longtime pet!
I work out body parts you have never heard of! 

Jojo

Lack of affordable housing!



In 2017, the Bill and Melinda Gates Foundation contributes toward building affordable housing in Seattle:
http://philanthropynewsdigest.org/news/gates-awards-1.65-million-for-affordable-housing-early-learning

2017 King County Taskforce on affordable housing crisis:
http://www.kingcounty.gov/initiatives/affordablehousing.aspx

"More than 6,700 seniors are currently waiting for rental assistance in King County. Nearly 1,000 of the 4,037 persons counted in the King County Homeless 2008 count were persons age 55 or older.  One out of every three King County senior homeowners and more than half of King County senior renters are “shelter burdened,” paying more than 30 percent of their income for housing. In Seattle, more than 4,000 senior renters pay more than 50 percent of their income for housing.": (A download):
https://www.google.com/urlsa=t&source=web&rct=j&url=https://www.seattle.gov/Documents/Departments/HumanServices/Reports/Affordable-Housing.pdf&ved=0ahUKEwjz_52Yu7jXAhUBxWMKHQWqD74QFgguMAI&usg=AOvVaw35lEfSPN7fpL51btCW-zkn

"Could your empty bedroom help with King County's housing shortage?":
https://www.seattletimes.com/seattle-news/data/king-county-empty-nesters-live-with-200000-empty-bedrooms/

Seattle declares state of emergency on homelessness: (PDF)
https://www.google.com/url?sa=t&source=web&rct=j&url=http://murray.seattle.gov/wp-content/uploads/2015/10/11.2.15-Homelessness-FAQ.pdf&ved=0ahUKEwjLpajat7jXAhVM72MKHVwKBi4QFgglMAA&usg=AOvVaw1fqcZwyEJGyIj6VpUK66Of

House the homeless in your King County  *yard*.  The homes will not have real toilets!
http://www.king5.com/news/local/block-project-calls-on-residents-to-house-homeless-in-backyards/431369585
The toilets will be "compost units", entrusted to the homeless, many of whom are already working poor, supporting children, mentally ill, alcoholic/addicts, or physically disabled.  Yet, nonetheless the composting system will be entrusted to them...

"Excreta-derived compost recycles fecal nutrients, but it can carry and spread pathogens if the process of reuse of excreta is not done properly... Oh, boy.  The next ebola...
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Composting_toilet

Jojo

Quote from: Swishypants on November 03, 2017, 04:40:12 AM
I just always wanted a harem of hot chicks that would be willing to have "lazy sex" all the time. :)  You know, talk about politics and taking the dog to the vet, the price of gasoline, and what TV show is good right now, while getting off at the speed of molasses and then cooking dinner out of an old up-end cook book. I figure if one chick doesn't want to they can draw straws. "I'm tired, so try to make this quick ok?"  Life in old pajamas.  One day I shall achieve my dream! :)
Heffner has been reincarnated.

Jojo

Quote from: Swishypants on November 08, 2017, 05:43:36 AM
JoJo, I'm going to have to call bullshit on you Hon. You live in a tiny room, in a house full of fat pervs, are starving to death, and pine for a boyfriend, and are a cat-lady? Unless you are a 13 year old girl and making shit up, nobodies life can be this pathetic.  If it is, it's because you are one of those chemically imbalanced broads who loves her desperate situation so she can try to garner sympathy from everyone she can find that will listen to her. Get a Job, or create one for yourself, move to a nicer place, go to the grocery store, lose the cats, work-out, and get some dick lady! And stop posting on this shitty forum. Take six months and turn your life around!
If you want to hear the sunny side, make a divergent thread!  This thread is for harping!

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