George Noory Sucks! - The Definitive Compendium

[Jojo]

Cafe Marrakech failed too.

Unless I'm missing something, the way he tells the story makes it sound like he just gave up.  Many, many restaurants have no parking and do just fine.  People park and walk a long way for many activities. He says when the parking lot was taken away, the restaurant couldn't survive.  He had to have known going in that parking lot development was a possibility.  He is not so stupid that he wouldn't have considered trying to buy the parking lot.  Or position his restaurant near ample parking.

I just don't think he would fail to look that far ahead.  When you buy property, you research who owns the real estate adjacent to you.  You position a business well.  Really, if he didn't own the parking lot, was he renting it, did his customers have to pay to park there, or were they just trespassing?  For all we know, his customers just parked there and George didn't even try to make an agreement with the owner.  But, I think George is smarter than that so I'm not buying this parking excuse.  When you start a business, you know the risks you take.  Everyone knows a business has to be funded the first five years, before knowing if it will survive or not.  He didn't give it 5 years.  Sounds like he gave up.  I have always wondered if he just uses the parking inconveniences as an excuse for whatever his real reasons are.

[Jojo]

Maybe those are for the cedar lined hope chest that Mama Norry bought for him and he bought the gown in hope of..  Hope springs eternal, but he is slowly running out of hope.

Yes, it is much harder for an older man to have a sex change.

[Richard Groyper]

I blame the valet parking.  Damn Tommy.

why is he so damn fat?!

[Jojo]

 

How about the talk show "I Ain't Gonna Take It Anymore" filmed and produced in mid teen's of this decade?

Can we have a link?

[Jojo]

why is he so damn fat?!

better fat than obscene.

I saw your quasi-retirement thread.  Welcome to your re-tread thread, ha ha.  IMA RE-TREAD, TOO!

[ItsOver]

why is he so damn fat?!

All that crap the cat ladies send to Jorch has to go somewhere.

[Dateline]

All that crap the cat ladies send to Jorch has to go somewhere.

He is a friend of nature, he recycles.

[Jojo]

All that crap the cat ladies send to Jorch has to go somewhere.

I used to be mortified that one time I sent him homemade gluten-free cookies.  Gluten-free cookies can be very tricky and time-consuming to bake, plus they are very fragile and crumble if not packed carefully in little cupcake holders things and bubble wrap things.  I did not pack them carefully.  He probably got a box full of cookie crumbles.

It was shortly after that, he said, "Ladies, don't send me anything nice.  Just don't."

Well, it was mortifying.  But now I think it's funny.  Just paying the aggravations forward, George.  Did crumbs land all over him, ROFL.  Did he have to sweep the floor, ROFL?  Can't stop ROFLLLLLLLLLLLL

[Nucky Nolan]

He REALLY liked soup.


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vAixx8G2wzU

Who doesn't? Word has it that "soup is good food".

[NoMoreNoory]

Well, hello!! Here's a turn-up. We've been stumbling around like lost souls these last few months, lamenting the loss of Bellgab, a little more with each passing klashik of Suckage we feared was going unrecorded. And just now, by accident, we discover you're back. Nice to be back home!

GN(still)S

[ItsOver]

Who doesn't? Word has it that "soup is good food".

Almost as good as Jello, except it could turn you into a pervert and possibly make you blind.


http://youtu.be/5sGv3AopxEo

[Dateline]

It is December 1, and time to begin the traditional Christmas shopping.  Black Friday aside, what would you gift Norry for Christmas this year if you were his secret Santa?

[Metron2267]

It is December 1, and time to begin the traditional Christmas shopping.  Black Friday aside, what would you gift Norry for Christmas this year if you were his secret Santa?

Lord help me for impinging on the ears of drivers everywhere but it would have to be:

[Morgus]

It is December 1, and time to begin the traditional Christmas shopping.  Black Friday aside, what would you gift Norry for Christmas this year if you were his secret Santa?

[Richard Groyper]

better fat than obscene.

I saw your quasi-retirement thread.  Welcome to your re-tread thread, ha ha.  IMA RE-TREAD, TOO!

Richard Groyper has quit EllGab for good.

[Nucky Nolan]

Almost as good as Jello, except it could turn you into a pervert and possibly make you blind.


http://youtu.be/5sGv3AopxEo

Don't take Pudding Pops from strangers. They may contain roofies.

[Nucky Nolan]

It is December 1, and time to begin the traditional Christmas shopping.  Black Friday aside, what would you gift Norry for Christmas this year if you were his secret Santa?

I would gift him tapes of all Art Bell shows. The catch is that he would have to play them on all of *his* shows. 

[ItsOver]

Don't take Pudding Pops from strangers. They may contain roofies.

Heh, heh.



"That's true!"

[Nucky Nolan]

Heh, heh.



"That's true!"

George Noory Voice: "Has anybody heard from Fat Albert? He can't be taking this well."

[ItsOver]

It is December 1, and time to begin the traditional Christmas shopping.  Black Friday aside, what would you gift Norry for Christmas this year if you were his secret Santa?

Headphones permanently strapped to his head, with a continuous loop recording of dogs barking out "Jingle Bells."  The really sad thing is he might actually like it.

[albrecht]

Headphones permanently strapped to his head, with a continuous loop recording of dogs barking out "Jingle Bells."  The really sad thing is he might actually like it.

That or an isolation chamber with the headphones playing "Grandma Got Run Over By A Reindeer" on continuous loop in a psychic-driving procedure ala Dr.Cameron. Or same but listening to Art on loop in a hope to produce a good late night radio host?

[Nucky Nolan]

Headphones permanently strapped to his head, with a continuous loop recording of dogs barking out "Jingle Bells."  The really sad thing is he might actually like it.

He would like it, and he would share it. George Noory Voice: "We have a special treat for you at the end of this year's Christmas program."

[Nucky Nolan]

That or an isolation chamber with the headphones playing "Grandma Got Run Over By A Reindeer" on continuous loop in a psychic-driving procedure ala Dr.Cameron. Or same but listening to Art on loop in a hope to produce a good late night radio host?

It also could be an endless loop of "A Reindeer Got Run Over By Grandma". He's only played it a zillion times.

[Dateline]

It also could be an endless loop of "A Reindeer Got Run Over By Grandma". He's only played it a zillion times.

An interesting take on it would be Sinatra singing "A Reindeer Got Run Over By Grandma" in an endless loop only to be interrupted with promos of Norry events and dating sites.

[Nucky Nolan]

An interesting take on it would be Sinatra singing "A Reindeer Got Run Over By Grandma" in an endless loop only to be interrupted with promos of Norry events and dating sites.

I'll take that over the zillionth replay of the old woman's "hilarious" fender bender. That bit was fresh....in 1987.

[ItsOver]

I'll take that over the zillionth replay of the old woman's "hilarious" fender bender. That bit was fresh....in 1987.

Damn, that really is "Thuh trooth!"  "Hey, Tommy, slam on replay of me and the numbers nut for the last hour.  Yuh, know, the one that has that classhic feisty old woman closing it out at the end.  We can skip out early for some flapjacks at Denny's!"

[Nucky Nolan]

Damn, that really is "Thuh trooth!"  "Hey, Tommy, slam on replay of me and the numbers nut for the last hour.  Yuh, know, the one that has that classhic feisty old woman closing it out at the end.  We can skip out early for some flapjacks at Denny's!"

I've skipped out early for the past five years. That "younger guy", in that tired clip, is now 97 years old.

[Jojo]

Richard Groyper has quit EllGab for good.

So you followed toots, huh?

[Jackstar]

So you followed toots, huh?

I started the trend. Stop acting like I didn't.

[Jojo]

It is December 1, and time to begin the traditional Christmas shopping.  Black Friday aside, what would you gift Norry for Christmas this year if you were his secret Santa?

A chiropractor for his upper back and the back of his neck.

An implant that stops him whenever he points or clenches his fists (unless it's an emergency).

100 matte finish lip moisturizers.  Reduce the shine!

Moustache and eyebrow color aids and precision tools.

A zillion 3/4-sleeve sweatshirts, just above the elbow, which look very good on him.

A Beyond Belief circular set which rotates.

Lots of sexy cotton round-necked white t-shirts.  And take some buttons off the tops of some of his button-down shirts so the t-shirt shows.

A contract for "Paper Dolls with George Noory"!  With at least 5 different poses and expressions.

Buy him out of the dating websites.  No man who said, "Send photos" should own a dating site, no matter how divested he claims to be.