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Retro Advertisements that just wouldn't fit in today's world.

Started by ShayP, February 15, 2017, 03:12:07 PM


Jackstar

It's the malabsorption of calcium that causes the hardening, btw. Butter is bomb.



Is there a fucking doctor in the house or what? Welcome to amateur hour.



ShayP

Quote from: albrecht on February 15, 2017, 05:10:08 PM
The company behind "Soul Aid" should sue Band Aid. Apparently this idea is not fake new but true:
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/people-of-color-can-finally-wear-bandages-that-match-their-skin_us_56155977e4b0fad1591a6845

Perhaps they should indeed.  However I can't fathom why anybody would care about the color of a bandage that is covering a wound.  Vanity?  Mine could be lime-green and I wouldn't care a bit. 



trostol

Bill looks far too proud of himself that he is holding 2 weiners


ShayP

I'm putting Jackstar's name in the blank. The 'reasons' are up to him.




Jackstar

Quote from: ShayP on February 15, 2017, 05:17:16 PM
The 'reasons' are up to him.


Socialism: You have two cows. The government takes one and gives it to your neighbour.
Communism: You have two cows. You give them to the government, and the government then gives you some milk.
Fascism: You have two cows. You give them to the government, and the government then sells you some milk.
Capitalism: You have two cows. You sell one and buy a bull.
Nazism: You have two cows. The government takes both and shoots you.
Judaism: You have two cows. The government takes both and shoots you, then blames the Not-Sees.
Freemasonry: You have sheep.




ShayP

Quote from: Jackstar ℗ on February 15, 2017, 05:21:11 PM

Socialism: You have two cows. The government takes one and gives it to your neighbour.
Communism: You have two cows. You give them to the government, and the government then gives you some milk.
Fascism: You have two cows. You give them to the government, and the government then sells you some milk.
Capitalism: You have two cows. You sell one and buy a bull.
Nazism: You have two cows. The government takes both and shoots you.
Judaism: You have two cows. The government takes both and shoots you, then blames the Not-Sees.
Freemasonry: You have sheep.

The brochure is only...nevermind, we'll reduce the size of the type set. ;)




ShayP

Quote from: Jackstar ℗ on February 15, 2017, 05:24:05 PM
Jews.

It's okay.  We'll be fine.  They don't believe in tri-fold brochures.  We''l keep it bi-fold.  :)


Jackstar

Quote from: ShayP on February 15, 2017, 05:26:22 PM
They don't believe in tri-fold brochures.


After some turbulence the pilot came on over the speaker and said, "I'm sorry folks, but the turbulence has knocked out our engines and we are going down. If anyone is religious, now is a time to pray." The passengers were shocked but some started to pray.
The priest glanced over at the rabbi and watched as the rabbi crossed himself. The priest smirked and continued with his praying. Miraculously the engines roared to life and the plane landed safely. The priest caught up with the rabbi and said, "Excuse me, but I couldn't help but notice that when the plane was going to crash you turned to christianity."
"What are you talking about?" asked the rabbi.
"While you were praying, I saw that you crossed yourself."
"No, no, no," replied the rabbi. "I was doing the usual inspection; Spectacles, testicles, money, and cigars."



ShayP

Not a weird or offensive ad by any means BUT it would be nice to get these with some BellGabber's faces on them.   I digress.



ShayP

Quote from: Jackstar ℗ on February 15, 2017, 05:27:59 PM

After some turbulence the pilot came on over the speaker and said, "I'm sorry folks, but the turbulence has knocked out our engines and we are going down. If anyone is religious, now is a time to pray." The passengers were shocked but some started to pray.
The priest glanced over at the rabbi and watched as the rabbi crossed himself. The priest smirked and continued with his praying. Miraculously the engines roared to life and the plane landed safely. The priest caught up with the rabbi and said, "Excuse me, but I couldn't help but notice that when the plane was going to crash you turned to christianity."
"What are you talking about?" asked the rabbi.
"While you were praying, I saw that you crossed yourself."
"No, no, no," replied the rabbi. "I was doing the usual inspection; Spectacles, testicles, money, and cigars."





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