i can no longer be attracted to neither men nor women

[paladin1991]

it has been more than 6 years now since i have been with a woman, and i am still a young man by most accounts. i am only 32, and i am an attractive man too, with no problem just "going out and getting laid".

At the local gay bar?

[Swishypants]

  At the local gay bar?

You want to go to a party man? A whole lot of drinking, fuckin' and fightin'! It's at my house! Just me and you buddy!

[paladin1991]

i made a post here long ago that nobody replied to. it said "a perfect moment can ruin the rest of your life" or something like that. it is the truth. feeling one perfect moment will forever make you realize that your life is unfulfilling and not worth it. and when that moment is ripped away from you, you will never be the same. when they say "better to have loved and lost", that is total utter horseshit. the opposite is true.

Okay, we get it.  did you try looking in the dryer for that sock?

[paladin1991]

like 5 or 6 years ago i went to a party and a woman there tried to fornicate with me. so i went to her bedroom and i began to undress and i just felt the deepest sadness in my soul. so i told her i had to run out to my car to get condoms or something and then i just never came back in. since then i never even tried going out to any social events or anything anymore. now i just rummage through trash for wares to sell, and i eat animals in the woods, and do antisocial satanist things all by myself. i have never in the past 10 years felt any real desire or urge for any kind of socialization. i had so many friends over a decade ago. esp because at one point when i was around 20 i ran a nightclub, so i was "mr popularity". but after i met my love i no longer wanted to be a part of that scene. and then after she was ripped from my life i never ever wanted to see or be around anyone again.

She started dating a real man?  A Marine, maybe?

[paladin1991]

tonight i just miss her, but nothing i ever say or do can bring her soul back to this earth.

Beta male.

[paladin1991]

i went to that party because people said "go out. meet people. that will help you. you will feel better" but no. they were wrong. it only made me feel more empty and broken on the inside. "parties" are for the plebs anyhow. they're nothing positive. they're just giant shitshows for insecure faggots.

That is definitely your scene, man.

[paladin1991]

there is an even worse part to this story that people probably wouldn't believe if i told them too, so i won't tell it.



.


[/b]go ahead.  Tell us.  The shit show that is your life is the funniest comedy under the sun.

[paladin1991]

i mean it wasn't really a nightclub, i just don't wanna say exactly what it was cuz it might expose my identity. but it was something very close to a nightclub. a very popular nightspot. i got so lucky that i got to essentially run it at such a young age. i used to go everyday and beg the owner to give me a job, and then once he did i broke all of his rules and ended up making him a ton of money, so he eventually just let me run shit. it was pretty awesome. once upon a time i really was not a broken shell of a man. i didn't sleep on any streets or any in woods. i didn't live out of the asshole of society. i was not such a dirty and filthy wretch of a man. so many prospects, so many prospects. everyone wanted to be me or be with me.

It was a gay bathhouse.

[paladin1991]

you and nigger MD MD are like basically the two people i have had the most social interaction with in prob about 6 years, roughly.

Stop trying so hard.

[paladin1991]

the 100% pure truth that you probably will not believe is that the last time i went to a mass i went blind and started throwing up all over the pews until i was dragged outside when my vision immediately returned and i started to feel better. real satanists should not go to churches.

also i'm not doing any of that. NONE OF IT! I DONT WANT TO BE A PART OF THIS WORLD! OR THIS SOCIETY! I WILL FUCK IT IN THE ASS! MAY IT SUCK MY FAT WHITE DICK! I HAVE NO LOVE FOR IT, NOR HAVE I ANY LOVE FOR ANY OF THE PEOPLE WITHIN IT! NOTHING BUT HYPOCRISY AND LIES AND DELUSION AND PENT UP FEELINGS, SUPPRESSED FEELINGS THAT GNAW THEIR WAY OUT OF PEOPLES MINDS IN SICK AND DESTRUCTIVE WAYS! I HAVE NO LOVE FOR THE WORLD! I HOPE TO SEE IT BURN!

Cocaine rage.

[paladin1991]

YOU MARK MY WORDS. MARK THEM GOOD. WRITE THEM DOWN. SCREENCAP THEM! GNOORYBLOWS WILL FUCK THIS WORLD IN THE ASS! I WILL FUCK IT SO HARD IN ITS DIRTY GREEN ASS THAT ALL UPON ITS SURFACE KNOW MY NAME! THE NAME "GNOORYBLOWS" SHALL RING THROUGH HISTORY, ACROSS TIME AND SPACE! NOT BECAUSE I WANT TO BE FAMOUS, BUT JUST SO YOU ALL KNOW WHAT IS UP!

Is this gonna be before or after you take it in the ass?

[paladin1991]

its not SAD you know. you know whats SAD?!?!?!?!?!?!?!!?! NEEDING to have other people near you. NEEDING to define yourself through your associations with others. NEEDING to feel their approval and their validation all of the time. that is sad. what i have in my life is not sad, other than the loss of my love. what i have in my life is independence and strength and resilience. not social codependency that you faggots live with. you are all IN LOVE WITH YOUR OWN WEAKNESSES and you must come to realize that they are in fact nothing positive, but only destructive forces in your lives.

For not being a co-dependant Nazi fuck, you sure come here a lot.

[paladin1991]

my love, she had gone to a private catholic school lol, and she ended up really resenting religion because i guess that's what happens to people who grow up in private catholic schools with nuns and shit. i remember one time at this job we both worked together, a customer handed her a bible for some reason and she tossed it away and acted like it burnt her hands or something. i was laughing but i remember i told her "lol babe catholicism is not that bad. even though there are bad things about it, there are so many good things about it too!". my how i have changed. funny i wonder what she would have thought in that moment if she knew i was going to eventually become a genuine satanist after her passing!

So you had a thing for Catholic school girls.  Who didn't?  Remember the black patent leather shoes?  Huminahuminahumina.  Think about all your 'friends' looking down at your girlfriends shoes for a little reflection of heaven.

[Swishypants]

For not being a co-dependant Nazi fuck, you sure come here a lot.

Paladin is black first of all! And yes, he is a Nazi. He's a faggot, but only when he watches Platoon every evening. During the day he's just a shit-heel that drives an old Mazada Pup mini-truck, and smokes Pall Malls while listening to his 1992 cassette copy of Achtung Baby over and over again.

[paladin1991]

no im not possessed the polarity of my soul has just reversed. i'm not overburdened by something entering me and manipulating me, but my soul has changed on the most fundamental level and is not what it was before. it's not "human" in the same was it was before. its not the same thing, you wouldn't understand.

blah, blah,blah.   Animals don't have souls.

[paladin1991]

There are very few things people like to have thrown at them.  Even if someone threw a bunch of money at me, I might not take it.  Something to be said for delivery, dignity, and meaning...  Too much too soon can ruin a good thing.  Men are not on-demand sex machines.
[/quote]If I threw money at you and asked you to dance on a table?

You don't know the right men.

[Swishypants]

blah, blah,blah.   Animals don't have souls.

Confirmed Dog Fucker right there folks! Although Paladin is the bottom.

[paladin1991]

NEED. Let's just skip to the chase and admit we're desperate for each other once in a while.  My parents were "recovering Catholics".  Evidently, it's quite a thing.

While not desperate....this need thing....why don't you spell it out?  What is it that you 'need.'

[Swishypants]

How many fucking CASSINGLES do you own Paladin? Bet you've got a wall in your living room from one end to the other with them stacked on "shelves" made out of bricks and 2x4's!

[paladin1991]

i can promise that i am not desperate for you. you are exactly the type of idiot that i resent most deeply because your stupidity makes you an apt slave, and your slavemasters protect you from you reality to keep you indoctrinated to them. you have no idea how abused and misused you have been because you are in love with your abusers.

Your mouth says those words, but your assuming the position of submission says otherwise.

[Swishypants]

  While not desperate....this need thing....why don't you spell it out?  What is it that you 'need.'

I got 20 bucks on JoJo having Paladin in a headlock by the end of the week. It's hot breath on the back of your neck while it pumps like a jackhammer!

[Dr. MD MD]

Your mouth says those words, but your assuming the position of submission says otherwise.

Yup! Love blooms on Bellgab! 


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=194h6lWJDE8

[Jackstar]

"shelves" made out of bricks and 2x4's

You just solved my garage problem. Thank God.

[gnooryblows]

paladin i just want to say that im honestly unphased by the vast majority of your bait and that's really honestly all i really care to say to you at this point in this thread.

[paladin1991]

paladin i just want to say that im honestly unphased by the vast majority of your bait and that's really honestly all i really care to say to you at this point in this thread.

I understand.  You can't talk with your mouth full.

[Swishypants]

You just solved my garage problem. Thank God.

What is love? Baby don't hurt me!

[Swishypants]

This will be the soundtrack to the JoJo on Paladin Rape/Rumpus!


https://youtu.be/Lz1f_aef8yM

Available now on Cassette Single for the low-low price of $1.98 at your local Sound Warehouse!

[Jojo]

all day every day, after a decade, all i do is try to think of her. to imagine the life we could have had. to imagine what we would be doing today, and remember the things we did so long ago. it is the only thing which brings me any solace or comfort, but always it is accompanied by the deepest pain and emptiness as well.

Grief is important, but as they (metaphorically) say, "The wolf you feed is the one that thrives".  You can feed your grief and watch it thrive.  Or you can process it and then tend to it mostly on memorial dates and Memorial Day.  Otherwise you'll be thinking about life instead of living it.  Wouldn't she want you to go on?

[Jojo]

i made a post here long ago that nobody replied to. it said "a perfect moment can ruin the rest of your life" or something like that. it is the truth. feeling one perfect moment will forever make you realize that your life is unfulfilling and not worth it. and when that moment is ripped away from you, you will never be the same. when they say "better to have loved and lost", that is total utter horseshit. the opposite is true.

I have often felt the same way, that love does not justify the eventual loss it leads to.  And yes, the higher you go, the harder you fall.

But then, the object of the love might view this differently.  Like, if I avoided love because of its eventual loss, then who would have loved all the forsaken pets I saved?  No one cared about them.  One tied up one would have died, either through neglect, strangling from a deck on his chain, or shelter euthanasia.  One who had upturned all the neighborhood trash cans would have starved or gotten into trouble.  One found crossing a thoroughfare to the highway every day probably would have been smashed by a truck.  One being thrown around hard would have gotten brain damage from being abused.  One with dislocated joints probably eventually would have gotten broken limbs from more abuse.

It really hurts when I miss my dog that loved me.  Like it would have been easier never to  have met him.  But, originally avoiding loving him was not the answer because he needed help, and that's how our love developed.  I hope to have eternal life with him and all the others.

[Jojo]

I am. 


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ajzpd-ONOdo

Ha ha.  I can relate.