BellGab.com Archive

Quote from: Dr. MD MD on September 21, 2022, 07:05:35 PMCommunists will kill their own grandma for the good of the state. Repent before it's too late.

We will treat grandmas on a case-by-case basis. Naturally, any relatives of yours will get fast-tracked to the furnace.

Quote from: K_Dubb on September 21, 2022, 11:02:08 AMHaha he needs to put out an upmarket "King of England" brand Spotted Dick; that Heinz one in a can is dreadful.

It's a mockery. At least we can agree on something. I'm very picky about the standard of Dick I put in my mouth.

Quote from: K_Dubb on September 20, 2022, 11:27:10 AMYour ribbons etc. have been in utter shambles over there ever since they let relatives wear their dead fathers' and grandfathers' medals pinned to their anoraks for Remembrance Sunday, a sort of spiraling decoration inflation that inevitably leads to sort of Soviet-general clinking and clanking at the top which was on full display yesterday.  I even saw a Garter star pinned to a business suit!

In addition to the squirting-pen issue in Ireland already covered here, there was a brief moment with a sort of inkwell or pen-stand at St. James's Palace which was ruining old Chuckyboy's Instagram shot.  It isn't rage so much as the barely suppressed frustration of a man not in control who senses somewhere deep down that he should be.  I can't imagine this endearing him to the public but they seem quite determined to be endeared, clapping and whistling and hip-hip-hooraying and God-save-the-kinging at the slightest provocation, the silly creatures.

If I had to guess, the powers that be (which definitely don't include Chuck -- they are the ones who told everyone to say "queen consort", I even heard "King Charles and Queen-Consort Camiller which is utter nonsense, consorts are not asterisks or some sort of hyphenated sub-rank titles, you never heard "Queen Elizabeth and Prince-Consort Philip" or "Queen Victoria and Prince-COnsort Albert") have decided he can be useful promoting their causes, getting people to bicycle everywhere and eat bugs, that sort of thing.

If I remember right, Chuckyboy was already kind of on that bandwagon already which is probably what saved him, I think I ran across some gingered shortbreads produced organically on some farm of his in Cornwall by doughty plowmen whistling o'er the furrowed land and jjolly milkmaids who singeth blithe or some such silliness.  They were good cookies.

Leaving aside the usual treasonous rhetoric from the jealous peasantry, Charles has had his line of Duchy of Cornwall foodstuffs for quite a while. I've never actually tried any but you can usually find them in most shops and they aren't outrageously expensive but pricier than the other things on the shelf, usually. He also set up some sort of bespoke village called Poundbury, full of the sort of architecture His Nibs approved of, and no doubt replete with apple-cheeked rustics tugging at those forelocks like they were wanking off a horse. I'm not sure if it's still going, perhaps it's bulging at the seams with immigrants from Filthistan now. One can only hope.

Quote from: Yorkshire pud on September 20, 2022, 08:08:34 PMThanks for blowing my cover. My handlers at MI5, CIS, MFI, CBI, LTR and UPS will not be best pleased. But when I'm not engaging in 'deep cover' for HMG my cover employment is being gainfully employed in a technical capacity which brings me into contact with natives from all walks of life and on the whole they're okay..some are funny folk, but I'll come to that. After almost six years here I've met the lot!

Memsaab of course is above reproach but even she says the locals can be dubious. I get asked at least once a week if I'm from London. (It doesn't get trite after the first hundred times); My reply is usually; "Oi, do I look like that sloe gin swilling southerner, SV? Well, do I?" At that point their eyes dart left and right and they're trying to work out if a) they do know you, b) if there's been a police bulletin when you might have been mentioned c) Did you appear on 'The Voice' or somesuch 'talent' contest. When it's clear they haven't heard of you (I know, I know) I explain I'm from the only county worth mentioning in England, that no, it isn't near London, no it isn't near Edinburgh either, or Paris, or Dublin.
 I was asked if I was Irish once, and when I said no, I'm English, she asked if I was sure...Generally if you're a Brit you get treated with more respect and it's assumed you're better educated. Seeing as the FED spend less than 1% of GDP on public education, it isn't difficult to believe. But there's no incentive to make it better because...well, draw your own conclusions. But having said that I'm working among some very capable people who really know their stuff.

The stereotype that most Americans don't really know much about anything outside the four corners of their garden (Or tarp if you're homeless) isn't without merit. And it's obvious when I meet those who have been out and about (Usually have a military background or quite wealthy). It took me a while to realise why that is. It isn't entirely a lack of curiosity or being insular and not caring, it's mainly financial. Unlike the UK, vacation days are not mandatory, and many (Not all) jobs require a full year's employment before qualifying for any leave. Sick days are not paid everywhere. And if you do get leave, it's fewer days than the 28 enjoyed in the UK. Which explains why most Americans who holiday in the UK are retired.
In California they have an 'easy in/easy out' deal with jobs, you can be fired on the spot without redress, but likewise you can leave without notice too.
The 'funny folk' tend to have a weird sense of reality and if you dare to dig down, are trumpers. I haven't met many, because it's northern CA, and the one's I have met are frequently from out of state. A few weeks ago I was at a customers place and one guy had his phone playing Alex Jones..and he was relaying to his colleague what the good lord Jones was selling, I mean conveying his wisdom. He blamed the wildfires in the state on Communists, yes really. Although most are not arson and those that are, the political leanings of the crim isn't usually made known. I didn't venture the question as to how he knew and why they would because his eyes bulged and I wasn't sure of his emotional containment. I quietly muttered 'Ooookaaayyyyy' and backed out of the room.

But fear not old man and when my boys get my private jet back into civilian configuration after it was pressed into service dropping food parcels to the peasants in Pacific Heights me and the fragrant Laura will take a visit to the home counties. I think we're still allowed to drop into Brize Norton, even though the copybook was blotted somewhat with that little jape 'Badger' Harris-White had on his thirtieth birthday bash back in 1993. Enough said.

I fear that you are like one of those naturalists who convince themselves that the apes they are studying have accepted them and aren't really dangerous after all. But, one false move and they're trying to chew your leg off. Don't forget that they aren't really human beings at all, they are just a genetic experiment that went horribly wrong, that's why we abandoned them several centuries ago, although they keep telling themselves them 'won' some absurd war that nobody gave a fuck about.

Just say the word and we can mount some sort of extraction effort, along the lines of Mussolini's. I can be Otto Skorzeny, coming in on a hang-glider, although I will have to make a brief detour to Raleigh NC to punch Walks in the face (it's on my bucket list), and we'll have to decide whether your rescue will come before or after I have settled accounts with that frightful squirt.

Six years is a long time to go without a decent cup of tea. I suppose you wake up every morning drinking coffee now, like some bloody Arab. I don't know why albrecht is always going on about teeth because there's nothing in that ghastly country worth eating anyway. You might be lacking vital nutrients from the all-Hamburger diet you're forced to adopt to fit in with the locals.

Quote from: albrecht on September 21, 2022, 12:08:28 AMThey reckon they have. Quite stirring when things like cricket etc and singing breaks out. Really an excuse to drink for days. Skip work n such. And weird. Ashes. They so odd. At least the Muzzies have a space rock. N   Irish got some stone to kiss. I think Brit had stone, but under seat and purloined from Scots? We Vikings just left stuff around like stones for markings or tie up ships. 'Leave the stone, take those women. Kill those others.' I kid

Our paths crossed, unbeknownst to us, back in 2005, as I was there in Trafalgar Square cheering the boys on. You miss all this, being an uneducated scoundrel who is unable to appreciate the laws of cricket.

Quote from: K_Dubb on September 19, 2022, 11:20:53 AMAlso that bit of stage-machinery descending into the crypt was awkward af, I'm surprised they didn't have clouds of dry ice fog and spooky lights, or flames and devils like Don Giovanni

I missed the whole thing, I have just been catching up on some of the reaction. These old boys love getting their medals out for any reasons whatsover. I'm surprised Charles can even stand up with all that silverware pinned to his chest. Did you see him fussing about pens a few days ago? What with his natural dickishness and his rather apopleptic appearance, I can't see him lasting much more than five years, tops and we'll have to go through the whole bloody thing again.

Quote from: Jackstar on September 19, 2022, 10:06:47 PMI have to be able to breathe, for example.

Many of us would disagree.

Quote from: Yorkshire pud on September 17, 2022, 12:44:01 PMDo you EVER listen to yourself? Honestly? How am I exclusive, elite? I gave you a potted history of my immediate family; Is there anything, anything at all in that that suggests I'm an elitist? What you seem to be suggesting is a more equitable society, where there isn't an us and them; correct? Well if you are, we're on common ground.

I'm starting to worry about you, dear boy. You can't give these people an inch. The next thing you'll be telling me that that 'all men are created by equal' garbage was true as well. It sounds like you need to head back to Blighty instanter before the rot really warps you for good and all. I will choose to believe that this is all a 'deep cover' operation you are engaged in and you are really sowing mischief and discord behind the scenes prior to our long-planned invasion moving into full-swing.

Quote from: Dr. MD MD on September 17, 2022, 05:10:45 AMThat's what I always say about you.

This is schoolgirl-level argument. 'No I'm not, you are!' All very Trumpian and why you are such a weapons-grade bore. It doesn't even make sense, but I can't even be bothered to point it out to you.

Quote from: Dr. MD MD on September 17, 2022, 01:22:14 PMYou're an elitist because you consider the great majority of people beneath you.

The great majority of people aren't British so they are inferior by definition. You haven't really thought this through, you silly sausage.

Quote from: K_Dubb on September 16, 2022, 10:23:02 AMI can only attribute this leaden flight of what you hope to be wit to your own deep mourning for the queen, strangely touching in a way 

You next time you sashay along the Seattle seafront, I sincerely hope that you are devoured by a passing waterbeast.

Quote from: Dr. MD MD on September 13, 2022, 08:04:05 PMThe really funny thing is that Jimmy Dore is a progressive liberal, just like pud claims to be and yet pud despises him. Weird, no?

Yeah, and Tim Pool claims to have come from the left too. They're just a bunch of grifters out for clicks.

I've just been reading that a Japanese professor has won a prize for his study of knob-turning. Are we just supposed to ignore the valuable work of K_Dubb in this area, whose devotion to the turning of knobs, both in theory and practice, cannot be gainsaid?

I can't help being sceptical (note the correct spelling, colonial shitbags) about this whole lying-in-state business. How do we know she's in there? Surely, for security reasons, it would make more sense to stash her away in a fridge somewhere until Monday. There's always the possibility that the coffin might get stolen by trans-activists who will only return it on condition that Charles dresses up as Marilyn Monroe and live-streams himself on YouTube doing a rendition of 'Happy Birthday, Mr President'.

Also, I can't help remembering what happened in the case of my Uncle Everard ('The Caliigula of North-West Surrey', as he was described in his obituary). After only a couple of days the atmosphere was getting distinctly funky, and we are expecting that the old girl can just lie there for nearly a week in a medieval building (no doubt listed, so they won't be able to modernise it with air-conditioning) and nobody will smell anything wrong? It's still quite warm here too, which isn't going to make things any easier.   

Quote from: Yorkshire pud on September 15, 2022, 02:10:11 PMSo YOU were the one with the handle "Posh southern man wank"?

I note in passing that my request for a partial refund was met with frosty silence. Getting money out of a Yorkshireman is roughly comparable to stealing a wolf cub from its mother.

Quote from: K_Dubb on September 15, 2022, 04:51:08 AMOh come on!  Now you guys are just making stuff up.  Just admit it is because she looks like a horse both coming and going the poor thing 

On the other (better) side of the pond we used to say that she was an Audrey Roberts lookalike. The reference would be wasted on you, but Yorkie would probably know who I mean. All I can say is, she's almost certainly dynamite in the sack. You can tell just by looking at her that she's pure filth.

Quote from: Yorkshire pud on September 15, 2022, 07:53:42 AMI had the lifesize version, but sold it on e bay. Eventually..

As I recall, your description of 'slightly soiled' wasn't entirely accurate. It was so stuck to the box that clumps of hair came out as I was trying to prise her loose.

Quote from: K_Dubb on September 13, 2022, 05:07:43 AMWell of course you maundering old windbag.  I am perfectly aware of morganatic marriage and consorts of either sex and that the wives of Georges V and VI were technically consorts; that is why I asked.  And you still haven't answered.  By popular usage she should be Queen Camiller just like the Queen Mother was Queen Elizabeth before, that is why they had to change it to Queen Elizabeth the Queen Mother after her husband died otherwise there would be two Queen Elizabeths.

But everyone is tiptoeing around it nodding sagely pretending they know a thing and repeating it like a bunch of silly parrots like you always do when I suspect they just won't refer to her properly because rabid Dianer partisans will rend their clothes and bare their now-more-than-ample bosoms in despair if anyone dared to breathe her proper name.  And it isn't fair to her; everyone knows she was elevated to queen because of the lifetime supply of tampons she keeps in her purse for the monkey to chew on.  It is a thinly veiled subterfuge to assuage the bawling cattle and I see right through it, let me tell you!

Well excuuuuse me! I'm not going to put up with being put down by colonial scum! That's the last time I try to bring light to your darkness.

Been looking this up a bit. Men who marry the Queen are known as 'Prince Consort'. Albert, who married Victoria was known as 'Prince Consort', and there's a Prince Consort Road in Kensington that I know very well. Philip was Prince Consort. Camilla would normally be known as Princess Consort but she was named Queen Consort shortly before the Platinum Jubilee shindig, as a favour to Charles. Titles and Orders and Medals and all the rest of it, matter inordinately to royal types. In the old days, you would have arranged marriages where people from other royal houses in other countries would marry each other to keep the bloodlines pure, but this doesn't happen these days so you are more likely to end up with one royal one and another who, while still posh as all fuck, doesn't quite count as royal so you get these other titles getting stuck in instead.

The other story that isn't being talked about much is the role of the police at the moment. They passed a new Public Order Act recently which basically allows the police to arrest anyone they think might possibly be causing a problem, irrespective of whether they have caused a crime or not. There have been reports of people being arrested for holding up signs saying 'Not My Queen'. A barrister just held up a blank piece of paper and the police spoke to  him about it. It's getting rather alarming what they are being allowed to get away with and people aren't paying attention, unfortunately. They are expecting  up to a million people descending on London in the next few days, gawd knows how this is all going to shape up. It's not something I want to participate in. And who is going to queue up for the best part of a day to look at a closed coffin? If you could actually see the old girl I could understand it, but for lizard-related reasons, I guess the 'powers that be' think that a ten-foot reptile lying in a casket might lead to uncomfortable questions.

Quote from: K_Dubb on September 13, 2022, 01:21:24 AMShreddie why are are the news people mostly talking about "King Charles and His Queen Consort" instead of King Charles and Queen Camiller?  Did they all get a memo?  She is in the same position as Queen Mary with George V or Queen Elizabeth with George VI and I have never read anyone hauling out the unwieldy "Queen Consort" for them.  It seems unfair.

Also, what is up with making her queen "in recognition of her charity work"?  How many ribbons must I cut and ships christen in order to be queen?  I should very much like to be queen!

I think brig nabbed 'Queen of Bellgab' a few years ago, so you can't even claim that. Maybe Duchess of Bellgab? You can name albrecht your consort (I think there's something funny going on with you two behind the scenes) and you can have a sceptre made out of smoked herring.

The Elizabeth that married George VI was also a consort, like Philip. Otherwise, when her husband died she would have become Elizabeth II instead and ruled on her own, but that went to her daughter, who was the royal one. She just became 'Queen Elizabeth, the Queen Mother' instead.

When they were building a huge cruise liner they intended to call 'The Queen Elizabeth', they went to George V and said that they were naming it in honour of England's greatest queen. He replied, 'oh my wife will be thrilled, I can't wait to tell her!', so they had to name it the Queen Mary instead.

I think the charity work thing is just a fig leaf to justify her being given an honour.

The whole royal bloodline thing is very tangled and I do not claim to understand it. Queen Victoria was related by blood to most of the European monarchs, in one way or another. It's said that one of the reasons for WW1 was because her grandson, Kaiser Wilhelm, had such a bad relationship with his mother, Princess Vicky, Queen Victoria's daughter.

Quote from: K_Dubb on September 13, 2022, 01:21:24 AMShreddie why are are the news people mostly talking about "King Charles and His Queen Consort" instead of King Charles and Queen Camiller?  Did they all get a memo?  She is in the same position as Queen Mary with George V or Queen Elizabeth with George VI and I have never read anyone hauling out the unwieldy "Queen Consort" for them.  It seems unfair.

Also, what is up with making her queen "in recognition of her charity work"?  How many ribbons must I cut and ships christen in order to be queen?  I should very much like to be queen!

They aren't the same rank. I gave the butler the evening off, and I'm not going off to the scriptorium to haul down the Almanac de Gotha myself, but I believe it's what's known as a 'morganatic' marriage and she can't be officially the Queen, and she  can't claim any privileges because she isn't royal. Remember that Philip was never King, he was always known as the 'Duke of Edinburgh'. Charles lobbied for her to be named 'Queen Consort' which is a sort of halfway house. I think people will still refer to her as 'Queen Camilla' in future, though. It just means that she isn't a true royal herself, so her relatives aren't in line to the throne or anything like that. When the current Prince of Wales (the male heir to the throne is always named Prince of Wales, by the way) becomes William V, I imagine the same thing will happen and Kate will be Queen Consort too because she comes from a bunch of middle-class counter-jumpers. Even Yorkie might have more royal blood than her!

Quote from: albrecht on September 11, 2022, 11:33:15 AMDidn't Philip once quip to a driving instructor up there in Bonny Scotland 'how do you keep the locals off the booze?' And also commented that some junction box 'looked like it was put in by an Indian?' The former comment ironic since I think he decided, or had to, give up his driver's license after a crash.
I loved that guy, RIP. Isn't Balmoral also a brand of cigarettes and cheap cigars?

Also, 'you cant' be Hungarian, you haven't got a pot belly.'
I think the full comment was, 'how do you keep the locals off the booze long enough to pass the test?'

I think it's safe to say that Prince Philip was your spirit animal. Yes, they do have Balmoral cigars, but they don't look particularly cheap to me. https://www.simplycigars.co.uk/dominican-cigars-balmoral-cigars-c-267_279_212.html

Quote from: K_Dubb on September 11, 2022, 09:42:50 AMThat is difficult to swallow.

And it's not often we hear you say that!

Quote from: BobGrau on September 12, 2022, 02:55:33 AMAm I allowed to cry over how her death will affect my wallet personally?

You mean that moth sanctuary you call a wallet?

Quote from: Dr. MD MD on September 10, 2022, 08:38:30 AMNow that's triggered!

No, you need to be very calm when you're flaying someone. Otherwise they might die halfway through and that spoils all the fun.

Quote from: Dr. MD MD on September 10, 2022, 08:32:35 AMWhere are you getting triggered out of that?!

I just simply put you in your place*...AGAIN!

*On the shelf next to the Franklin Mint Royal Family Commemorative plates.

My 'place' being about a dozen steps higher in the social hierarchy than you. I'm happy to use you as my footstool.

Quote from: Dr. MD MD on September 10, 2022, 08:34:45 AMGood luck with that when you can't even buy a butter knife there without the proper government requisition. 🙄

I have no problem getting hold of knives. As you'll soon find out when I come and visit you.

Quote from: Dr. MD MD on September 10, 2022, 08:29:04 AMSo, just freeze to death then? There's that British spirit that once ruled the world. 

We're a much hardier race than you. Cold is just God's way of telling us to burn more Americans.

Quote from: Dr. MD MD on September 10, 2022, 08:25:34 AMThere is nowhere else to go with a braindead idiot like you. I might as well provide a sensible chuckle at your expense for the more intelligent here.

Oh dear, have I triggered you? Sorry about that. Go and wash the sand out of it, you little bitch.