George Noory Sucks! - The Definitive Compendium

[Doomed]

LOL - Jonny said pissin in the wind, I bet George just peed his pants!

Yep. He pee'd like a racehorse. Twice. The second time when the guest said, "Pee'd like a racehorse."
I tuned in right when that went down. noory, that douchbag, is doing another infomercial.
Jorch is proof that money cant fix everything.

[Falkie2013]

How many people overdose on water really? Is it such a huge threat? 

Actually I remember a story about a woman in France who committed suicide by drinking too much water. It happens that people die from it but its rare.


My local water for some reason a few months ago started coming out white and tasted absolutely vile.


I had to buy a Brita filter and pitcher just to be able to drink it and make coffee.

[Falkie2013]

Yep. He pee'd like a racehorse. Twice. The second time when the guest said, "Pee'd like a racehorse."
I tuned in right when that went down. noory, that douchbag, is doing another infomercial.
Jorch is proof that money cant fix everything.

www.fairmountpark.com


Once Snoorge retires, he can be seen running in a stakes race at Fairmount.

[zeebo]

Does anybody else notice that Noory always says simply "military" when he should say "the military", or maybe "military groups" etc.?  For example: "You think military was behind that?" or "Who was involved - military?" etc.  It sounds wrong, and it annoys my brain.

[Yorkshire pud]

Until this happens, we can count on Snoory for our minimum daily requirement of suckage.

I won't be; I don't listen to him. Other radio stations are available apparently.

Does anybody else notice that Noory always says simply "military" when he should say "the military", or maybe "military groups" etc.?  For example: "You think military was behind that?" or "Who was involved - military?" etc.  It sounds wrong, and it annoys my brain.

Nope; my brain doesn't get annoyed as I don't listen to him. How crazy is that? 

[Roy Hinkley]

Does anybody else notice that Noory always says simply "military" when he should say "the military", or maybe "military groups" etc.?  For example: "You think military was behind that?" or "Who was involved - military?" etc.  It sounds wrong, and it annoys my brain.

Yes, one of his multitude of annoying traits.  His language is an extension of how lazy he is, he often does not speak in complete sentences and sounds like he is reading choppy bullet points with nouns only, no connecting words.

[valdez]

...radio may die...

... enough of this horseshit!

...douchbag..

... suckage...

...lazy...

     I preferred George's Romper Room science session with James McCanney than cholesterol talk with Jonny Bowden.  Actually, I tuned out completely when Bowden came on.  I suppose I'm of the age where I should be thinking about cholesterol, and I guess one day I will, but it won't be today.  Sinatra's "The Way You look Tonight" was an early bumper.  Really great tune.  It was also used effectively in the series finale of the best of the Star Trek franchise, Deep Space Nine, sung by Vic Fontaine (Bobby Darren).  Class.  Just class.
 

"and that laugh that wrinkles your nose"

[Falkie2013]

When I first heard that song, I had the tv on but was cooking and thought it WAS Sinatra, that's how good Darren is.

I've got the song that Darren did on cd in my collection.

Of course, one COULD do a Snoory version of it.

" Some day, I will always know.
  When the radio's cold.
  I will get nauseous just thinking of you,
  And the way you suck tonight.

  Yes, you're cheezy, with your mustache all a glow,
  covered in turmeric powder, as we've heard about so oft.
  There is nothing for me to do but loathe you,
  And the way you suck tonight.

  With each word you mangle tonight,
  Tearing my brain apart.
  And that pizza roll story that burned up your mouth,
  Makes me just want to fart.

  Snoory, don't you ever change.
  Keep that talentless charm.
  Won't you please arrange to be off the air ?
  Because you still suck, just like you did tonight.

  Mmmmmmmmmmm

  Just the way you sucked tonight. "

  And now a commercial word from our sponsor.

  " Hi, this is Snoorge " I snort turmeric " Snoory.

    Friends, are you sick of the way your prostrate interferes with your daily minimum consumption of turmeric ?

    Are you tired of that pink healthy look on your skin and want the saffron glow of turmeric poisoning that you used to have ?

   Well, now my friends, YOU can have it all with Super Snoory Formula.

   Yes, Super Snoory Formula.

   Just one tablet 8 times a day will make you the figure of health that I am today and will fatten my wallet even more than it was yesterday.

   Yes, Super Snoory Formula is for you.

   Operators are standing by.

   Actually we only have one operator and his name is Irving Operator.

   He's standing by because he lost to Tommy in musical chairs and Tommy's sitting in his chair & Irv can't answer the phone because JC snuck in here and stole it yelling that it was the Devil's mouthpiece. "
 

[Falkie2013]

Does anybody else notice that Noory always says simply "military" when he should say "the military", or maybe "military groups" etc.?  For example: "You think military was behind that?" or "Who was involved - military?" etc.  It sounds wrong, and it annoys my brain.

Snoorge got a hold of copies of these two books.

The first confused him because he thought it was about broadcasting while eating a ham sandwich.

And the second still puzzles him because he thought he was supposed to put the chick back into the egg.

He's never been the same since.

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[Sleepwalker]

Maybe George could get the Grim Reaper to appear as a guest.  The ultimate doom and gloom show.

George:  My guest for the entire four hours is the Grim Reaper. Hello Grim, how are yoooooooooooooooooooooo?

Grim: I am well, George.

George: Grim, I've heard we're all going to die.  It's not a question of if, it's a question of when.  Is that true?

Grim: It's true George.

George: Even if we don't get hit by a coronal mass ejection, comet or asteroid?

Grim: Yes, George.

George: Does that mean everyone, Grim?

Grim: Everyone, George. 

George:  So it's not a question of if, it's a question of when.

Grim: That's right, George.

George: Even those of us who have a 20 year supply of freeze-dried food, pizza rolls, turmeric and convenience store sandwiches?

Grim:  Everyone, George.

George:  But the 20 year supply of freeze-dried food, pizza rolls,  turmeric and convenience store sandwiches could delay it for awhile, right?

Grim: No, George.  They may even hasten it.

George: So it's not a question of if, it's a question of when. 

Grim:  That's right, George.

George:  How about membership in the Coast Insider's Club?  Members get access to 30 million shows and the ability to Skype chat with me.  Surely that will make everyone live longer, right?

Grim:  It won't prolong a person's life by even a minute.  It will just make it seem longer and more painful.

Long silence.

George:  Thanks for being on the show tonight, Grim.  Tommy, let's go to open lines for the next three hours and 56 minutes.

[Falkie2013]

Rofl ! Rofl ! Rofl !



Great job !

What Snoory could really use is a kindle with many dummies books on it.

Assuming he could figure out how to use it.

Here's one he definitely could use along with string theory for dummies AND grammar for dummies.



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[Falkie2013]

I just thought of a new name for Snoory.


Snoorechak the Night Bungler.


With abject and sincere apologies to both Darren McGavin and Jeff Rice.


www.youtube.com/watch?v=1r-pKDh6K9w

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[ziznak]

Last night was a total sleeper.  Don't know why I even tried to listen.  All I can remember is being half-awake at numerous times only to hear the word "supplement" before rolling over and falling out again.


interesting article on podcasting falkie thanks.  I could see podcasts taking off just like youtube if things were a little more available.

[Sardondi]

Snoorechak the Night Bungler.

Ah, if you do nothing else you have earned immortality with "The Night Bungler"!



Absolute perfection.

[BobGrau]

the TriteHawk.

[Falkie2013]

Ah, if you do nothing else you have earned immortality with "The Night Bungler"!



Absolute perfection.

Thank you. I have the inspiration of Snoory's ineptitude and all of you save one, to thank too.

If only that cross would ward off The Night Bungler ...

The immortal Karl Kolchak and Darren McGavin as well.

Long may they live in our memories.

" This nut thinks he's a vampire ! "

[Roy Hinkley]

......AND grammar for dummies.

It still amazes me nightly that this clown MAJORED in broadcasting and communications, when he in fact can't communicate to save his life.  One of the old contributors used to call him "marble mouth" which I rather like.  I would like to get a speech pathologist to explain what his various speech impediments are.  Obviously there is the curse of the "s" words for him which I can't believe he doesn't avoid. 

George: "Something verrry shpecial tonight.... an unbeeeelievable shtory of shpecial human beans that are..."

I also love when he tries to say "texting" or variations of it.  He always says "texxing".

Another favorite were the short-lived Denny's ads.  Did anyone catch when he tried to say "breakfasts"?  Laughed my a$$ off, he sounded like a little kid - he always said "breakfasses".  He probably says "paskettie" for spaghetti too.

I don't mean to insult "special" people, but I would swear he rode the short bus to school.  I re-listened to the whole pizza roll tape.  He was just amazed, kept saying how unbelievable it was about the burning and went on and on like it was a holy vision or something.  He really does have the mentality of a child.  I bet he was SOOOO picked on as a kid. 

You'll notice that with the Insider "club".  He must have been so picked on and excluded as a child that he longed to be included.  Now that he has the power, he can have his own "club" as he is always calling it - be a part of the club, the cool people.  Gag.

[Usagi]

Dyeing eggs in turmeric.  What fun!  A Zombie Jesus and turmeric tag team will cure my cancer fo sho.

[HorrorRetro]

Another favorite were the short-lived Denny's ads.  Did anyone catch when he tried to say "breakfasts"?  Laughed my a$$ off, he sounded like a little kid - he always said "breakfasses".  He probably says "paskettie" for spaghetti too.

It was that very Denny's ad years ago that clued me in to what a moron he really is.  "Denny's has seven new breakfasses."  Really?  You're over 60 years old -- I guess he was still in his 50s back then -- and you don't know how to pluralize the word "breakfast?" 

At around the same time, he did a commercial for Excedrin.  He had to use the word "colander," as in the Excedrin was like a colander in that it was full of small holes to let the active ingredients out quickly.  He, obviously, had no idea what a colander was nor how to pronounce it.  He pronounced it as co-lander.  He had to redo the commercial three times before he pronounced it somewhat correctly.  What an idiot.

[someguy]

Maybe George could get the Grim Reaper to appear as a guest.  The ultimate doom and gloom show.

George:  My guest for the entire four hours is the Grim Reaper. Hello Grim, how are yoooooooooooooooooooooo?

Grim: I am well, George.

George: Grim, I've heard we're all going to die.  It's not a question of if, it's a question of when.  Is that true?

Grim: It's true George.

George: Even if we don't get hit by a coronal mass ejection, comet or asteroid?

Grim: Yes, George.

George: Does that mean everyone, Grim?

Grim: Everyone, George. 

George:  So it's not a question of if, it's a question of when.

Grim: That's right, George.

George: Even those of us who have a 20 year supply of freeze-dried food, pizza rolls, turmeric and convenience store sandwiches?

Grim:  Everyone, George.

George:  But the 20 year supply of freeze-dried food, pizza rolls,  turmeric and convenience store sandwiches could delay it for awhile, right?

Grim: No, George.  They may even hasten it.

George: So it's not a question of if, it's a question of when. 

Grim:  That's right, George.

George:  How about membership in the Coast Insider's Club?  Members get access to 30 million shows and the ability to Skype chat with me.  Surely that will make everyone live longer, right?

Grim:  It won't prolong a person's life by even a minute.  It will just make it seem longer and more painful.

Long silence.

George:  Thanks for being on the show tonight, Grim.  Tommy, let's go to open lines for the next three hours and 56 minutes.

they already had some dipshit on pretending to be jesus, so why not?

[Roger]

So, all who read 'coastgab' are supposed to regard parody as serious critique? If C2C is a joke, then the joke of a joke means . . . what? What does a parody of a parody amount to? Or a parody of a parody of a parody?  Are critics 'wannabe' A.M. radio managers? And such is somehow beyond attainment? Why? This 'market' is PENETRABLE. One thing sticks out from the mouths of doers: mature people don't complain.  They DO!

[Roger]

The 'ethers' can accomodate an infinite number of carrier-waves. If one has a dial. Oh . . . but wait . . . nobody has a TUNER under their personal control, much, anymore. Right.  So, never mind. right. yah. Everyone is only a RECEIVER, with nothin' to say OVER AN INFINITE medium. Apologies.

[onan]

There is a serious disconnect in your brain, isn't there?

[someguy]

The 'ethers' can accomodate an infinite number of carrier-waves. If one has a dial. Oh . . . but wait . . . nobody has a TUNER under their personal control, much, anymore. Right.  So, never mind. right. yah. Everyone is only a RECEIVER, with nothin' to say OVER AN INFINITE medium. Apologies.

how's that schizophrenia working out for you?

[PB the Deplorable]

... Obviously there is the curse of the "s" words for him which I can't believe he doesn't avoid... 

I thought you were going to list a few items like 'sucks', 'simple', 'snoorific', 'slacker', 'slow'...

It still amazes me nightly that this clown MAJORED in broadcasting and communications, when he in fact can't communicate to save his life...

And that his alma mater, University of Detroit-Mercy seems proud to be associated with him.  But what do they know, they don't even have any of the recent airbrushed portraits.

[attachimg=1]
George Noory '72

[coop]

George Noory is a pizza roll!   

[Usagi]

George Noory is a pizza roll!   

There is a striking resemblance, isn't there?  Giant air pocket where there isn't cheap, messy filling.  Indigestion-inducing.  Tastes of cardboard.  Potentially fatal to children.

Yeah, I see it.

[b_dubb]

tommy bought gerrrge a bunch of Dummies books to expand his general knowledge. the problem was they were all digital books stored on an iPad. and since the iPad for Dummies was a digital book stored on an iPad ... well ... you know what they say about the best laid plans. or worst

[ItsOver]

I

And that his alma mater, University of Detroit-Mercy seems proud to be associated with him.  But what do they know, they don't even have any of the recent airbrushed portraits.

[attachimg=1]
George Noory '72

Nothing says failure like Detroit.

[b_dubb]

Nothing says failure like Detroit.

Detroit didn't fail.  it was sold down the river by the Board of Directors who made their fortunes and then threw everyone in Detroit to the wolves as they shifted production and their loyalties overseas.