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Kingdom of Nye With Heather Wade

Started by SergeantMajor, June 05, 2018, 03:38:31 PM

Should this thread be stickied?

No
Yes

Voting closes: November 02, 2045, 02:04:40 AM

ItsOver

Quote from: Richard Groyper on September 02, 2019, 10:09:04 AM
FBI investigation is now forever synonymous with 1 week vacation.


"That's true!  Maybe longer."

Big Chicken

Quote from: Richard Groyper on August 30, 2019, 07:32:34 PM
did home boy just say "i like to fuck 'em in the ass while he beat up the pussy"?

Mister Groyper,

Wouldn't those homies end up touching wieners doing that?


Morgus

The  live streams just went active after being dead for days...

chefist


Dr. MD MD

Quote from: Morgus on September 02, 2019, 09:51:27 PM
The  live streams just went active after being dead for days...

Ooh! That’s exciting. Here’s Merv interviewing Lee. Oooh!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tGV72TsQzq8


WOTR

Quote from: username on September 01, 2019, 05:14:43 PM
Heather has been stealing my line "on a night like this", for awhile now.
Onna night like this... Onna phone line such as this.  ;)


Quote from: Big Chicken on September 02, 2019, 04:32:00 PM
Mister Groyper,

Wouldn't those homies end up touching wieners doing that?

pretty much, yes.

Catsmile

Chapter One:  #MissingTime

Heater awoke from her haze, suffocated by offensive smells and a tropical climate. Our little faux radio broadcasters gaze was focused lewdly upon a bright smile, connected to an angelic exotic beauty. As the cinnamon skinned gracile face was peering back at Heater with sympathetic dark eyes, Heater fainted.

Exhausted, flat on her back, not knowing where she was, in a fever dream state, again. Heater recalls a witch doctor preforming an exorcism over her, which ended with a psychic surgery. Wherein the good shaman removed a cigarette from her left foot.

The witch doctor reported that Heater was possessed by a spirit, she'd been channeling. The spirit had the strongest case of yellow fever the shaman has ever experienced. Which must have been the reason why Heater was feverishly trying to marry every young woman on the island, explained the shaman.

Heater was taken aback by all this, as the shaman gave her a talisman. She stared in silent confusion at the glass vile containing the cigarette he removed from her foot, surrounded by bits of unknown plants & symbols.

As Heater continued listening without interruption, for once. Her new shaman friend went on to explain how the talisman would protect her from horny old goats with yellow fever, from beyond. The shaman concluded by saying he'd never exorcized a spirit with such amazing jugs before. Heaters moon-eyed reply was "#WoW!"

#ChapterTwo...

WOTR

Quote from: Richard Groyper on September 02, 2019, 11:16:09 PM
nice try.
That has to be one of the top 10 memorable bellgab related moments in the last 5 years. Between "Heather, by baby" and "onna a phone line such as this" I damn near died laughing.

Dr. MD MD

Quote from: WOTR on September 03, 2019, 01:31:00 AM
That has to be one of the top 10 memorable bellgab related moments in the last 5 years. Between "Heather, by baby" and "onna a phone line such as this" I damn near died laughing.

Seems like hyperbole but alright. Was 911 called?

WOTR

Quote from: Dr. MD MD on September 03, 2019, 01:45:53 AM
Seems like hyperbole but alright. Was 911 called?
No, but I did have time to write out a suicide letter in invisible ink.

Corona Kitty

Quote from: WOTR on September 02, 2019, 10:38:43 PM
Onna night like this... Onna phone line such as this.  ;)

The sad part is that she has no originality.

Catsmile

Chapter Two: #OnnaTripHome

Touch down, almost in your home town, was all exhausted Heater could think after landing. Yet how was she gonna finish up the last leg of this crazy journey? Jet lagged, still in a fog & strapped for cash, she couldn't get her noggin' joggin'. Haggard Heater spies a good Christian looking soul, someone who would take pity on her. Needless to say she becomes fast friends with this bible carrying fellow.

Mr.Christian is sympathetic to Heaters cause after being regaled with her tales of woe. Heater has Mr.Christian eating out of her hand. Nothing but good vibes, and seeing the light at the end of the tunnel. It felt like she knew this guy for a long time, but where Heater kept wondering.

Cruising in a Cadillac onna way to the bus station, her clutching enough cash for a bus ticket and taxi home. Heater watches the landscape pass by while enduring Mr.Christian droning on about the second coming, & Revelations, as a preacher on the radio does the same. Suddenly the loud thud of a bible to the head, stars, & blackness.

Heater springs to life hearing a voice she knows all too well. Hearing a diatribe shes heard many times before. About the New Revelations, ten star generals, C.L.A.M.P., and boiling pits of sewage. Unfortunately it wasn't a radio show replay, but JC Webster III himself, preaching in the nude. She still had a death grip on the cash JC gave her. Instantly she thought JC didn't pay me enough for this gig. Heater quickly scanned the locked down room for an exit that didn't exist.

JC went on almost nonstop for days. Ending with him passing out, after fapping his blisters dry, while showing Heater his "pornographcation research". Heater took this opportunity to beat a hasty retreat.

Heater flagged down a biker dude, who picked her up. As they rumbled by the compound, JC yelled "You're a wicked harlot! Running off with bikers, just like my dear Edna Pringle!"

The Biker asks if she knows that crazy acting fag? "No!" Heater replies. He then asks her name. Heater fains "#CholoSizzle!"

#ChapterThree...

Lilith

Quote from: username on September 03, 2019, 02:03:37 AM
The sad part is that she has no originality.

Well, at least she has an unusual dialect that she seems to recreate as she goes along...

Corona Kitty

Quote from: brig on September 03, 2019, 02:40:39 AM
Well, at least she has an unusual dialect that she seems to recreate as she goes along...

Do you mean her impersonation of art bell?

VC

Still No Guest Listed or Open Lines for Tonight. Nothing.

But. HW must think she is Captain Kirk now:

[attachment=1]


Pizzapunch

Quote from: VC on September 03, 2019, 07:19:27 AM
Still No Guest Listed or Open Lines for Tonight. Nothing.

But. HW must think she is Captain Kirk now:

[attachment=1,msg1353502]
Maybe it's William Shatner on kon tonight. She'll have him channel Leonard Nimoy

Lilith

Quote from: username on September 03, 2019, 02:48:49 AM
Do you mean her impersonation of art bell?

Is that what she calls it?  ::)

Quote from: WOTR on September 03, 2019, 01:31:00 AM
That has to be one of the top 10 memorable bellgab related moments in the last 5 years. Between "Heather, by baby" and "onna a phone line such as this" I damn near died laughing.

i knew that was going to be a winner. lmao

Corona Kitty

Quote from: brig on September 03, 2019, 08:36:21 AM
Is that what she calls it?  ::)

No, that's just what everyone else calls it.. the very poor imitation of art bell.

I just don't want anyone thinking that I'm friends with her or that I co-signed for her to use it.

figitsutitor

jc webster "god talks to me directly i am very close with god"
h wade "art talks to me directly i am very close with art"

Pizzapunch

September 3rd, 2019 - Open Lines - Why Do We Dream?

                                       
                                       
Join us for a night of UNscreened Open Lines as we explore why we Dream.

Corona Kitty

Quote from: Pizzapunch on September 03, 2019, 07:30:23 PM
September 3rd, 2019 - Open Lines - Why Do We Dream?

                                       
                                       
Join us for a night of UNscreened Open Lines as we explore why we Dream.

I can't wait until tomorrows show..... "Why do we breathe?".... W/ Heather Wade.

Gunner65

Quote from: Pizzapunch on September 03, 2019, 07:30:23 PM
September 3rd, 2019 - Open Lines - Why Do We Dream?Join us for a night of UNscreened Open Lines as we explore why we Dream.

Quote from: username on September 03, 2019, 07:33:12 PM
I can't wait until tomorrows show..... "Why do we breathe?".... W/ Heather Wade.

Here's some more for HW: "Why do we paint?" ..."Why do we fix things"..."How/WHY DO WE STAY UP LATE AND LISTEN TO THIS BS AND MANAGE TO GET ANYTHING DONE?"


Gunner65

HW is using the Daniel Arola approach. Throw a quote/meme and see if it sticks to something!

Corona Kitty

Quote from: Gunner65 on September 03, 2019, 08:04:37 PM
Here's some more for HW: "Why do we paint?" ..."Why do we fix things"..."How/WHY DO WE STAY UP LATE AND LISTEN TO THIS BS AND MANAGE TO GET ANYTHING DONE?"

Haha.

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