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Kingdom of Nye With Heather Wade

Started by SergeantMajor, June 05, 2018, 03:38:31 PM

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Voting closes: November 02, 2045, 02:04:40 AM


Dr. MD MD

You would think as the last producer of Art’s show she would’ve learned some of the technical aspects of running a show but I guess Keith did all that.

K_Dubb

She was honored and humbled (and sometimes she bumbled) but bravely she grasped at the con;
For a moment it seemed that the dream she had dreamed was a thing that could be built upon,
Till a few musky bottoms ('fore the dump button got 'em) shook confidence down to the core.
But she was a fighter, and no fake John Titor would keep her from being a bore.
With a schoolmarmish cool she demanded her school pay attention and don't talk in class,
But rebellion grew and the spitwads, they flew -- she was exquisite fun to harass --
And her eggshell veneer, under barrage severe, soon succumbed to the wild horde's chisel.
Though she fought back with style, wearing gems and a smile, the devil had come for Miss Sizzel.

Pizzapunch

Quote from: Dr. MD MD on September 04, 2019, 10:58:20 AM
You would think as the last producer of Art’s show she would’ve learned some of the technical aspects of running a show but I guess Keith did all that.
So I've heard that her voicemail on her phone still introduces her as heather wade the producer for Art Bell

Spookcat

Quote from: Pizzapunch on September 04, 2019, 11:14:17 AM
So I've heard that her voicemail on her phone still introduces her as heather wade the producer for Art Bell

Must be an easy job, now.

Roswells, Art

Quote from: Liberace! on September 04, 2019, 12:28:28 AM
you think she did?  i didn't try to disguise my voice at all.

She would have to have suffered a brain injury to not recognize your voice.

Someone calls in from reality asking legitimate questions and offers a sensible solution and she ends the show. Haha. Holy crap, an interesting caller, can't let that happen. Let's get caller Russel back on the show, maybe he has some aches and pains he would like to discuss for an hour.

I bet there were a total of zero listeners that wanted Cholo's call to end.

K_Dubb

Ok now I'm bored:

Now her show is a farce with an audience sparse that has proven remarkably fissile,
And a six-month detox (with a few painted rocks) is enough to condense Cholo Sizzel.

Though she talks like a minx of her numerous kinks and a past that would frighten a preacher,
To the ones who get close she seems more like a ghost who will vanish the moment you reach her.
But she'll talk on the phone if you're feeling alone and you have a few hours to spare
For a lengthy debrief of how foot pain and grief all conspire to keep her off the air.
Ambition has vanished and, if you're a fan, it's like cake that's left out in a drizzle,
But that doesn't keep a brave few would-be peepers from trying to see Cholo Sizzel.

So if you want to meet to whom Art left his seat you will have to be sly and creative:
She's a woman of night who despises the light, passing days in a state vegetative.
Only nights is she seen on streets shabby and mean in the the town that is known as Big Water,
Where she stalks on her stump through the Walmart Pahrump for the ippa that someone else bought her.
And it's there by the beer where she'll sometimes appear in a light that is harsh, artificial,
Where you'll know by the smell of Kool smoke, cats, and hell, that you've finally seen Cholo Sizzel.

VC

Quote from: Roswells, Art on September 04, 2019, 11:24:54 AM
Let's get caller Russel back on the show, maybe he has some aches and pains he would like to discuss for an hour.

That has to be her most retarded caller that literally could not pronounce words nor make any sense out of his mumbling drivel that was completely meaningless. He was like a drunk gurgling in his sleep a few words that could be barely understood but had zero purpose or meaning other than being retarded worse than a retard.

Heather was seriously impressed with Russell. "I love you Russell." She tells her listeners to invoke the name of Russell to stop sleep paralysis and shadow creatures and other weird shit. Bwhahahaha!

Certainly one of mental illnesses finest moments from one druggie to the other skull fucking "higher".

Roswells, Art

Quote from: VC on September 04, 2019, 11:55:40 AM
That has to be her most retarded caller that literally could not pronounce words nor make any sense out of his mumbling drivel that was completely meaningless. He was like a drunk gurgling in his sleep a few words that could be barely understood but had zero purpose or meaning other than being retarded worse than a retard.

Heather was seriously impressed with Russell. "I love you Russell." She tells her listeners to invoke the name of Russell to stop sleep paralysis and shadow creatures and other weird shit. Bwhahahaha!

I didn't hear him but was just going off what I read here. He sounds like this handicapped guy that I had to suffer listening to for a ten hour train ride yesterday. Fuck, I wanted to punch the guy after just an hour. He was using his beer can as a phone so it couldn't be him...or maybe that would explain her phone problems.

Making your audience feel like they're your friends seems like a good strategy to keep and create loyal listeners. I bet Art might have even mentioned it to her but with her limited capacity for thought she twisted it into something weird, saying "I love you" to her callers, individually, and not a general "I love you, my listeners, you're all so great...Actually, that's pretty funny. Thanks, Art. I don't know if you did this on purpose or not. I don't think you could have found someone worse if you tried and for that I thank you, if it was on purpose. If not then holy crap you're bad at picking a replacement.

Pizzapunch

As crazy as Russell was, Vance wanting to drive his kia soul down to Pahrump to take heather out for a warm buttermilk, and getting rejected was my favorite

Roswells, Art

Quote from: Roswells, Art on September 04, 2019, 12:16:07 PM


...she twisted it into something weird, saying "I love you" to her callers, individually, and not a general "I love you, my listeners, you're all so great"...Actually, that's pretty funny.

FIFM, there was supposed to be end quotes after "you're all so great"


Quote from: Pizzapunch on September 04, 2019, 12:44:32 PM
As crazy as Russell was, Vance wanting to drive his kia soul down to Pahrump to take heather out for a warm buttermilk, and getting rejected was my favorite

You people are making me want to listen tonight. I haven't listened to a show since the John Tiedoor episode. I've only been able to stomach about 10% of the clips posted either, it's the voice and what she does to it that makes it so difficult to listen.

ItsOver

Quote from: LadyFish on September 04, 2019, 10:36:52 AM
Shouldn’t that show a broken phone instead of a broken heart?
Maybe a sore ankle.

ItsOver

Quote from: Pizzapunch on September 04, 2019, 12:44:32 PM
As crazy as Russell was, Vance wanting to drive his kia soul down to Pahrump to take heather out for a warm buttermilk, and getting rejected was my favorite
Hard to believe, especially rocking a Kia.


Corona Kitty

Quote from: VC on September 04, 2019, 11:55:40 AM
That has to be her most retarded caller that literally could not pronounce words nor make any sense out of his mumbling drivel that was completely meaningless. He was like a drunk gurgling in his sleep a few words that could be barely understood but had zero purpose or meaning other than being retarded worse than a retard.

Heather was seriously impressed with Russell. "I love you Russell." She tells her listeners to invoke the name of Russell to stop sleep paralysis and shadow creatures and other weird shit. Bwhahahaha!

Certainly one of mental illnesses finest moments from one druggie to the other skull fucking "higher".

Every single one of her callers (her preset group) are all drastically low IQ recipients.

ItsOver

Quote from: brig on September 04, 2019, 01:05:52 AM
MV calls HW audio:

https://vocaroo.com/i/s1QkgUkQCitT
Ha, ha, ha!  MV Lee should pay Heater just to keep her doing her laughfest.  It's the dumpster fire that keeps on fueling BellGab. Lee, have you thought about setting-up a "Save The Heater" fund?  A lady can't live on painted rocks alone.

ItsOver

Quote from: username on September 04, 2019, 01:26:29 PM
Every single one of her callers (her preset group) are all drastically low IQ recipients.
Yeah, Cholo blew the presets away.  ;D


albrecht

Quote from: ItsOver on September 04, 2019, 01:33:34 PM
Ha, ha, ha!  MV Lee should pay Heater just to keep her doing her laughfest.  It's the dumpster fire that keeps on fueling BellGab. Lee, have you thought about setting-up a "Save The Heater" fund?  A lady can't live on painted rocks alone.
Too bad Red Elk has passed. He could've taught Heather how to talk to rocks. You know they can speak, don't you? He could've just levitated over to the cuckshed and explained to her about how to have conversations with the rocks. 

Roswells, Art

Quote from: username on September 04, 2019, 04:05:04 PM

There's a soft spot in my head for that song.

fify

I thought this song would be more up your alley:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y0ImdPdbqmw

Edit: Settle down, MD

Pizzapunch

Quote from: WOTR on September 04, 2019, 04:17:51 AM
This occasion seems like whatever lines are written to commemorate the event ought to be to the tune of "phantom 309."

*In retrospect, perhaps it is only because of your first line- "There are tales that are told in the desert nights cold in the truckstops that service route 80"

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Mye3aikHBjc
I prefer the Tom waits version

Corona Kitty

Quote from: ItsOver on September 04, 2019, 01:36:10 PM
Yeah, Cholo blew the presets away.  ;D

I don't see this show lasting too long, but I could be wrong.


Roswells, Art

Quote from: username on September 04, 2019, 05:29:34 PM
That's a great song.

I like it. I've never seen them perform it until now.




Corona Kitty

Quote from: Roswells, Art on September 04, 2019, 05:35:57 PM
I like it. I've never seen them perform it until now.

Yeah.... I don't think I've ever seen this video  wtf.

Morgus

Quote from: Liberace! on September 04, 2019, 12:28:28 AM
you think she did?  i didn't try to disguise my voice at all.
Ya would think being on the gabcast with you for years she would immediately recognize your undisguised voice.  8)

Did you call using Skype and is that why your call got thru OK unlike the other callers?

VC

Quote from: Roswells, Art on September 04, 2019, 01:10:05 PM
You people are making me want to listen tonight. I haven't listened to a show since the John Tiedoor episode. I've only been able to stomach about 10% of the clips posted either, it's the voice and what she does to it that makes it so difficult to listen.

You gotta listen to this, and tell us what you think. You're soooo funny. Really!

Here's Russell:

https://vocaroo.com/i/s15LosN9xMY3

Quote from: VC on September 04, 2019, 11:55:40 AM
Heather was seriously impressed with Russell. "I love you Russell." She tells her listeners to invoke the name of Russell to stop sleep paralysis and shadow creatures and other weird shit. Bwhahahaha!

VC

Quote from: Pizzapunch on September 04, 2019, 12:44:32 PM
As crazy as Russell was, Vance wanting to drive his kia soul down to Pahrump to take heather out for a warm buttermilk, and getting rejected was my favorite

Vance's buttermilk offer:

https://vocaroo.com/i/s18whGVCcxeA

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