George Noory Sucks! - The Definitive Compendium

[Pirate King Atomsk]

The reviews of Concussions from the Light, the follow-up to the George Noory classic, Worker In The Light, continue to pour in:   

Vic in Chicago raves:  ?George Noory is the kind of man who would give you the peas off his plate.?

?It read almost like a book.? ? Shel Silverstein 

?If only George had been around back then we would have known about the dangers of vaccines.? ? Jonas Salk 

From Peaches in Las Vegas:  ?I used to put LSD in people?s gas tanks but it didn?t do anything.?

?I thought, ?My God, what a coincidence! My name is George too!? ? ? Chad in Idaho

?I love it, I hate it, it makes me giggle, it makes me angry, I feel moist inside, I detest the way it smells, don?t end, pervert, cad, it?s too short, stop, yes, no, yes, no, yes.? ? The Trollette

Mr. Predictator speaks out:  ?George Noory?s book sucks, but you better not tell anyone.?
?An evolutionary genre.  The stories from George?s listeners are composed with letters cut from newspapers and magazines.? ?  Theodore Kaczynski

?It?s not ?Mr. Smith Goes To Hell,? but the recipes are good.? ? Charles Manson

?We enjoyed it so much we bought a million copies.? ? Exxon

EL-OH-EL!! 

[Gumby, Dammit]

Sadly, this reflects the overall sad state of affairs in this country, especially in corporations.  Expertise and exceptional talent take a back seat to political (family, friends) connections and mediocrity.  If you are just smart enough to do the job, and just dumb enough not to challenge management - voila! the perfect candidate.  Unfortunately young people are still raised in this country believing that excellence will be rewarded.

Yes. Believing. The key word here. The very irony of American Life. Excellence will be rewarded has been replaced with DUMB IS YOUR ONLY HOPE.

Reality trumps conditioning.

The pressure is always on. To stay centered in your hopes and dreams while ignoring the corporatized steamroller of the lowest-common-denominator that will surely flatten  and destroy expectations is the challenge it seem these days.

Which brings us back to George.

Purveyor, nay, embodiment of hopelessness and demoralization, the rat-bastard of the airwaves bumbles ever downward in his goal to crush and redirect the positive circuits of hope and dreams into submission...into his realm of  confusion and darkness.

See the irony: Worker In The Light being in reality the exact opposite. Touted as excellence to be rewarded... only what you get is a mind full of dumb, dull and distorted.

[Marc.Knight]

Very well stated Mr. Gumby.

[Gumby, Dammit]

Very well stated Mr. Gumby.

As well was yours, Sir PW.

[noodlehead.crucified.c2c]

THIS should be REQUIRED READING for all CoastGab members : )

[Sagebrush]

THIS should be REQUIRED READING for all GNS members : )

This should be required reading for all GN listeners.




At least those that can read.

[Sybil]

WOW you found it!  I had forgotten ALL about that until this moment!
Gawd Bless ya my dear!

**M**

Did you make that gif?

[PB the Deplorable]

Big week for George - Ed McMahon, Farrah, Michael Jackson.

Hearty lunch, gleam in his eye, spring in his step, bet he can't wait to get on the air.

Booming excited radio guy voice:  'Auffff the Pacific Coast, Frommm the City of Angels...'

[PB the Deplorable]

The reviews of Concussions from the Light, the follow-up to the George Noory classic, Worker In The Light, continue to pour in:   

Vic in Chicago raves:  ?George Noory is the kind of man who would give you the peas off his plate.?

?It read almost like a book.? ? Shel Silverstein 

?If only George had been around back then we would have known about the dangers of vaccines.? ? Jonas Salk 

From Peaches in Las Vegas:  ?I used to put LSD in people?s gas tanks but it didn?t do anything.?

?I thought, ?My God, what a coincidence! My name is George too!? ? ? Chad in Idaho

?I love it, I hate it, it makes me giggle, it makes me angry, I feel moist inside, I detest the way it smells, don?t end, pervert, cad, it?s too short, stop, yes, no, yes, no, yes.? ? The Trollette

Mr. Predictator speaks out:  ?George Noory?s book sucks, but you better not tell anyone.?

?An evolutionary genre.  The stories from George?s listeners are composed with letters cut from newspapers and magazines.? ?  Theodore Kaczynski

?It?s not ?Mr. Smith Goes To Hell,? but the recipes are good.? ? Charles Manson

?We enjoyed it so much we bought a million copies.? ? Exxon

OMG - that's great.  LOL.


Art Bell - 'George gets it'

Ian Punnett - 'What I'd like to ask, I mean I remember reading in there, what should be added, it's something I came across while preparing a sermon, I remember the last time we spoke...'

Richard C Hoagland - 'What I'm saying is, our good friends at NASA are not interested in reading this book, and I think there is more there than meets the eye'

Linda Moultin Howe - 'I've interviewed literally dozens of people and they all seem to agree that it is a mystery who buys and reads these books, but none of them can agree on what it means'

Whitley Streiber - 'Ann and I have both read this book, and for that we've been ridiculed, mocked, and marginalized'

[Gumby, Dammit]

Big week for George - Ed McMahon, Farrah, Michael Jackson.

Gleam in his eye, spring in his step, bet he can't wait to get on the air...

Booming excited radio guy voice:  'Auffff the Pacific Coast, Frommm the City of Angels...

...this is Coast to Coast A M, with the stupidest, with the most self-serving jerk on earth, One Gory Ogre...

George voice: "Hell-low evreebuddy, this is Chost to Chost hay-yem and I'm yewer host, George Newree.

In the newz an eight-year-old little boy, was found trapped today, with his head, stuck in an evelator door. He was dead of ceurse, he died, when, the elevator started moving, and it cut off, his head. A tearabull trajiddy, his mother, had just turned around for a minute, and he was gone, broodully,  killd.

In other newz, that toddler, that wuz roasted alive, when he got stuck, stuck in his mom's microwave antenna, oven, when he burned to a crisp. Ayand, boy, you can just picture that cantchya? What hard to beleeve. I really theenk hiz mother should be locked away, shoont she. Doant yoo? I do.

Then in downtown Egyp, an explosghun rippt throo a markette, killing fifteen chill-drin, and maimining twenny otherz. My gosh. Amazing how that can happun, when therz so minny people on the planette, far to minny. For more wheel go to Linna mollen how, Linna! Howwaryoooo...?"

[Sybil]

The reviews of Concussions from the Light, the follow-up to the George Noory classic, Worker In The Light, continue to pour in:   

Vic in Chicago raves:  ?George Noory is the kind of man who would give you the peas off his plate.?

?It read almost like a book.? ? Shel Silverstein 

?If only George had been around back then we would have known about the dangers of vaccines.? ? Jonas Salk 

From Peaches in Las Vegas:  ?I used to put LSD in people?s gas tanks but it didn?t do anything.?

?I thought, ?My God, what a coincidence! My name is George too!? ? ? Chad in Idaho

?I love it, I hate it, it makes me giggle, it makes me angry, I feel moist inside, I detest the way it smells, don?t end, pervert, cad, it?s too short, stop, yes, no, yes, no, yes.? ? The Trollette

Mr. Predictator speaks out:  ?George Noory?s book sucks, but you better not tell anyone.?
?An evolutionary genre.  The stories from George?s listeners are composed with letters cut from newspapers and magazines.? ?  Theodore Kaczynski

?It?s not ?Mr. Smith Goes To Hell,? but the recipes are good.? ? Charles Manson

?We enjoyed it so much we bought a million copies.? ? Exxon

OMG! MOPS! F1!!!!

Those are all incredible, everyone of them!

Mr. Predictor, LOL! What a douche.

[Sophie]

Sounds like the Noorzier is going to be beside himself tonight with celebrity deaths.

[Sybil]

This is Sybil's version of fun at the beach in Alaska.  Mine too.

Metacafe - Top Videos & Best Movies

That's right on the money actually. Except I don't wear anything.  I have a hot tub so I'll jump out of there and roll in the snow and jump back in.....

[Sophie]

That's right on the money actually. Except I don't wear anything.  I have a hot tub so I'll jump out of there and roll in the snow and jump back in.....

I remember doing that years and years, (a long time ago).  I don't think I'm up for it much anymore.  I do seem to remember not being cold at all after you get out of the hot tub, the steam comes off your body for a long time.   

Thanks for that happy memory from my youth!

[Pirate King Atomsk]

At least those that can read.

OHHH RIMSHOT

[Gumby, Dammit]

Sounds like the Noorzier is going to be beside himself tonight with celebrity deaths.

Yes. God's gift, the PIMP of death and doom, gets all beside himself with excitement and glee...there's George, rubbing his legs together like a fly preparing to dine on pig vomit.

[Sybil]

Yes. God's gift, the PIMP of death and doom, gets all beside himself with excitement and glee...there's George, rubbing his legs together like a fly getting ready to dine on pig vomit.

I always imagined George having a crawl space he plays in. With dead hamsters dressed in doll clothes and naked barbies that he'd hacked the hair off and colored on with sharpie markers. The same sharpie markers Tommy uses for his 3 x 5 index cards.

Here's a Barbie that Maritza managed to liberate before George got after her with the scissors.

[Sybil]

I remember doing that years and years, (a long time ago).  I don't think I'm up for it much anymore.  I do seem to remember not being cold at all after you get out of the hot tub, the steam comes off your body for a long time.   

Thanks for that happy memory from my youth!

Thanks for not being grossed out!

[Sybil]

The more I listen to George, the more I am convinced that he does not believe in anything he talks about.  It is simply a good paying gig that fell into his lap.  As long as enough night owls tune in every day, he's all set.  At least Art put on a good 'show' even if he doubted what was being presented.

Yeah, lucky he got that job, he needed the money to finish his operation.

[Sybil]

Big week for George - Ed McMahon, Farrah, Michael Jackson.

Hearty lunch, gleam in his eye, spring in his step, bet he can't wait to get on the air.

Booming excited radio guy voice:  'Auffff the Pacific Coast, Frommm the City of Angels...'

That's sad about everyone dying.

Especially Michael Jackson. Now I'm going to feel guilty making fun of him. Dammit! :(

[Gumby, Dammit]

That's sad about everyone dying.

Especially Michael Jackson. Now I'm going to feel guilty making fun of him. Dammit!

Jackson dead?

(Jackson singing voice):

Hee-Hee!

His two molested boys are Free-Hee!

No longer will they see their daddy's Pee-Pee!

Not even have to sleep with Bubbles the Mon-Key!

I mean the Chimpan-Zee-Hee!

Won't have to watch as Daddy grabs his Wee-Wee!

Hee!
Hee!
Hee!


(grabbig crotch)

OW!!!

[Sophie]

Thanks for not being grossed out!

Grossed out?!?  Oh Sybil you are so funny.

Noory wasn't anywhere close.

[Sybil]

Jackson dead?

(Jackson singing voice):

Hee-Hee!

His two molested boys are Free-Hee!

No longer will they see their daddy's Pee-Pee!

Not even have to sleep with Bubbles the Mon-Key!

I mean the Chimpan-Zee-Hee!

Won't have to watch as Daddy grabs his Wee-Wee!

Hee!
Hee!
Hee!


(grabbing crotch)

OW!!!

I can see him in the afterlife with Anna Nicole Smith (another big mess), giving each other make-overs and popping pills.

[Sophie]

Jackson dead?

(Jackson singing voice):

Hee-Hee!

His two molested boys are Free-Hee!

No longer will they see their daddy's Pee-Pee!

Not even have to sleep with Bubbles the Mon-Key!

I mean the Chimpan-Zee-Hee!

Won't have to watch as Daddy grabs his Wee-Wee!

Hee!
Hee!
Hee!


Thanks, I'm glad I got to read that after taking a drink.  At least this time it was white wine. ROFL



(grabbig crotch)

OW!!!

[Sybil]

Grossed out?!?  Oh Sybil you are so funny.

Noory wasn't anywhere close.

Hee!!! You are too!

I'm imagining George making Snow Angels in a onesie mankini like Borat had.

[Sophie]

Jackson dead?

(Jackson singing voice):

Hee-Hee!

His two molested boys are Free-Hee!

No longer will they see their daddy's Pee-Pee!



Not even have to sleep with Bubbles the Mon-Key!

I mean the Chimpan-Zee-Hee!

Won't have to watch as Daddy grabs his Wee-Wee!

Hee!
Hee!
Hee!


(grabbig crotch)

OW!!!

Although on a serious note, I read somewhere that Michael and Bubbles the chimp were having creative differences, that may have led to MJ's final meltdown.

[Sophie]

Hee!!! You are too!

I'm imagining George making Snow Angels in a onesie mankini like Borat had.

Okay now I'm grossed out.

[Sybil]

And BTW...we're on page 69. What would the Cucumber Lady , Glynis say?

Remember when she said her man found her "G" spot? LOL!

[Sybil]

Okay now I'm grossed out.

Me too! I hate my imagination sometimes!

[Sophie]

Signing off for now.  It's my b-day and I understand there will be cake involved.