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George Noory Sucks! - The Definitive Compendium

Started by MV/Liberace!, April 06, 2008, 01:23:02 AM

Can Noory pronounce anything correctly?

No
No

Gumby, Dammit

Quote from: Pirate King Atomsk on June 24, 2009, 08:03:21 PM


It's either a wigger flashing gang signs or the coach for the Special Olympics Swim Team?   

Gumby, Dammit

Quote from: Sophie on June 24, 2009, 09:02:55 PM
I'm finally Noory's nuisance.  My work here is done!

No dear, your work has just begun.

Quote from: Gumby, Dammit on June 24, 2009, 09:11:03 PM
It's either a wigger flashing gang signs or the coach for the Special Olympics Swim Team?

The EAST SIDE Olympics Swim Team.

Respek. Wicked.

Gumby, Dammit

Quote from: Itty Bit on June 23, 2009, 11:42:11 PM
Oh NO!   :o

An AOL headline is that Buzz Aldrin suffered/suffers from Alcoholism.  Wonder what kind of field day Snoory will have with that! 
This is horrible.  We'll have to hide the children.  Run everyone, run!


George voice:  "Buzz, now, yoo kneew ah, Pete Conrad, ayand, I did az weyl, we both were born in Detroit, ayand, attended school. What. What, and I'm gonna tryan probe deep heer, when you were a fighter pilot, as was I did when I sereved in United Stakes the Navy, or at least I knew them well, I knew them well...and know all about theyem to. Fly-ying thoze planes like that, were you ever scayurd? I mean reelee afraid that something was gowing to hyappun, ayand, maybe you would kill everywun abord yor ship by crashing in to them?"

Buzz Aldrin: 

Gumby, Dammit

Quote from: Pirate King Atomsk on June 24, 2009, 09:19:37 PM
The EAST SIDE Olympics Swim Team.

Respek. Wicked.

Dey is bad. Real Bad.

I likes dey bus, too. I toyndit up like a my phat limo, knowwn sayne?


Quote from: Gumby, Dammit on June 24, 2009, 09:35:00 PM
Dey is bad. Real Bad.

I likes dey bus, too. I toyndit up like a my phat limo, knowwn sayne?

Respek me chav, way wicked. Way wicked.  ;D

Gumby, Dammit

Quote from: Pirate King Atomsk on June 24, 2009, 09:36:00 PM

Buzz Aldrin:


Ha! Good one...Buzz in the bathroom of his Bar in Philly, "The Vomit Comet Bar and Grille"

Gumby, Dammit

Quote from: Pirate King Atomsk on June 24, 2009, 09:38:02 PM
Respek me chav, way wicked. Way wicked.  ;D

Yo yo I know I know humor izdat respek, my Home Skillet. It cool bad cool wicked!  8)

Itty Bit

Art is supposed to be the host on Friday night. 

Gumby, Dammit

Quote from: Itty Bit on June 24, 2009, 09:54:09 PM
Art is supposed to be the host on Friday night.

Yes. Is this the first Open Lines hell be doing since coming back for "guest" spots?

I'm gonna call him.

Gumby: "Hi Art! Shit Goddamn, when you gonna remove that skunkape nutsucking chupacabra NORON and replace it with a REAL host? I'm Gumby, Dammit!"

Art: "Well, ah, Gumby, ah, Dammit,  if that's who you really are, then why don't YOU give it a shot?"

Gumby: "HELL yes! I'll inject that  bushwhackin' carpetbagger mother-..........

Art (cutting in): "No! Ah, Mr. Gumby wait! I meant ah, You host the show, not give the current one a shot!"

Gumby: "Excellent! I'll do it, dammit! For FREE! My first guest, well I should say guests, will be several shall we say, experts... in the high science of Snoorology and we'll be talking about how the mutant jackass George Noory took over your show under false pretenses and totally destroyed it, turning your audience into drooling half wits...and we'll figure out how to get YOU back in the driver's seat and fix things up proper!"

Art: "Hmmm. Well, ah, Mr. Dammit, I happen to think George is doing a fine job, yes a fine job...of RUINING MY FUCKING SHOW (can I say that?)! GUMBY, YOUR ON, PARTNER!!! Saddle up your pokimon or whatever you're rinding these day, get your friends together and come on down!

Alright folks, you heard it here. I'm coming back. And when we come back from this break, I will take your unscreened calls and get your feelings on the matter too. But rest assured, I AM coming back, and one Mr. Gumby Dammit and his pals, will pave the way..."



cue bumper music: Aerosmith's "Dream On"


Gumby, Dammit

Quote from: pogo on June 24, 2009, 03:30:27 PM
Can ACs post here?  Wouldn't seem so
Let's just say I come in here and yell

HOLLLEEEEERRRRRR


What's your first split second reaction? 
Hey i like the idea of that practical joke, so shoot me!

Quote from: MABUSE on June 24, 2009, 04:58:21 PM

Christus, I thought we'd seen the last of that ebonic barratus!
Just a quick visit to say HOWDY!!!
Catch up with you'se guys later in the week!

**M**


Klatu! Barratus! Nikkto!

My first reaction.

HAL 9000

Introducing:

The Completely Off-Topic
Movie Music Diversion Contest

Here's how it works; maybe not nightly, but fairly often, I'll post the main music to a famous, though perhaps not instantly remembered movie. I'm good at knowing every note of a song, but not where the hell it came from (and very often who even sings it). This is a chance to show off your movie-music prowess.

I'll post the song, and you download it, and submit your guess/answer via PM. I'll announce the winner the following day/night. Since there is a fairly good chance of duplicate winners, I'll choose by using a random number generator... so you're never too late to submit a guess, until the official announement of a winner is posted.

Prizes you ask? Damned right there are prizes! You can ask for any song or album, and I'll try and hook you up - keep in mind, it can't be something too weird or offbeat - some of these things just aren't available.

So, without further delay, here is the first of "Mystery Movie Songs" (I chopped up some clips from the original movie and spliced them toegther in this particular sample - I used it in a video)

Download:

http://rapidshare.com/files/248362044/Music.Mystery.Movie.001.remix.mp3



And - just for fun, I found and old novelty song favorite: Steve Martin's "King Tut"

Download:

http://rapidshare.com/files/248368242/Steve.Martin.King.Tut.mp3



Gumby, Dammit

Quote from: V for Vendetta on June 24, 2009, 10:47:24 PM




And - just for fun, I found and old novelty song favorite: Steve Martin's "King Tut"

Download:

http://rapidshare.com/files/248368242/Steve.Martin.King.Tut.mp3

"...born in Babalonia, moved to Arizona, King Tut..."

Sophie

Quote from: Gumby, Dammit on June 24, 2009, 10:19:48 PM
Yes. Is this the first Open Lines hell be doing since coming back for "guest" spots?

I'm gonna call him.

Gumby: "Hi Art! Shit Goddamn, when you gonna remove that skunkape nutsucking chupacabra NORON and replace it with a REAL host? I'm Gumby, Dammit!"

Art: "Well, ah, Gumby, ah, Dammit,  if that's who you really are, then why don't YOU give it a shot?"

Gumby: "HELL yes! I'll inject that  bushwhackin' carpetbagger mother-..........

Art (cutting in): "No! Ah, Mr. Gumby wait! I meant ah, You host the show, not give the current one a shot!"

Gumby: "Excellent! I'll do it, dammit! For FREE! My first guest, well I should say guests, will be several shall we say, experts... in the high science of Snoorology and we'll be talking about how the mutant jackass George Noory took over your show under false pretenses and totally destroyed it, turning your audience into drooling half wits...and we'll figure out how to get YOU back in the driver's seat and fix things up proper!"

Art: "Hmmm. Well, ah, Mr. Dammit, I happen to think George is doing a fine job, yes a fine job...of RUINING MY FUCKING SHOW (can I say that?)! GUMBY, YOUR ON, PARTNER!!! Saddle up your pokimon or whatever you're rinding these day, get your friends together and come on down!

Alright folks, you heard it here. I'm coming back. And when we come back from this break, I will take your unscreened calls and get your feelings on the matter too. But rest assured, I AM coming back, and one Mr. Gumby Dammit and his pals, will pave the way..."



cue bumper music: Aerosmith's "Dream On"

Gumby, Dammit I think it behooves you to take over George's hosting duties.

Boss Hogg

Hey there! George Noory is using Twitter.
Now you can get up to the minute updates directly from George Noory!

Highlights from George Noory's Twitter feed!

Vistited the new C2C web site. Great job Lex!
about 20 hours ago from twitterfeed

Bill Mummy called and had to cancled for lunch again : ( 
about 20 hours ago from twitterfeed

Just got my Member's Only Jacket from the dry cleaners. Looks like they were able to get the stains out.
about 20 hours ago from twitterfeed

No word from Sci-Fi today on when there planning to renew the show.  Had to leave word with the secretary. Again.
about 20 hours ago from twitterfeed

Tommy said it looks like Sci-Fi is having problems with there're web site. There hasn't been any new post about my show in weaks!
about 20 hours ago from twitterfeed

Mail came.  Looks like UFO Phil sent me a new CD. I'll give it a listen on the way to the station.
about 21 hours ago from twitterfeed

Just got the latest Arbitron ratings, C2C is still number one on KSFO-AM!
about 21 hours ago from twitterfeed

Hello to everyone at the night hawker zOne!
about 21 hours ago from twitterfeed

Darn, I just hit my head on the microphone again.
about 22 hours ago from twitterfeed

I need to talk to Charlie about studio safety at our monthly contract negotiation. I'm gonna insist on a helmets for all staff members.
about 22 hours ago from twitterfeed

Drudge just posted three childern mutilation stories tonight. Jackpot!
about 22 hours ago from twitterfeed

Show about to go live.  Tommy just brought in some new 3x5 index cards. I asked him to make sure these cards have blunt edges.
about 22 hours ago from twitterfeed

Just called Children's International during the brake to complain abot Maritza not making her monthly payment.  They said they'd look into it and get back to me   
about 22 hours ago from twitterfeed

Sent a email to Willy Birnes to check and sea how my next book is coming along.  He said it should be ready in a few more months.
about 22 hours ago from twitterfeed

Where's Tommy?
about 22 hours ago from twitterfeed

Childrrens International just calld bak and they said Maritza skipped out of country.  Looks like I'm gonna be short $22 bucks this month. That's gratitude for you.
about 22 hours ago from twitterfeed

Looked at the clock and it was 11:11!
about 22 hours ago from twitterfeed

Great show for tonight.  Goning have Tommy cue up some classic C2C for the last hour.
about 23 hours ago from twitterfeed

Show prep for next week. Gonna study up for upcoming guste Michio Kaku by watching all of Twilight Zone season 3 on DVD.
about 24 hours ago from twitterfeed

Tommy jsut phoned me and said there was a bird in his house. I asked him if he thought it waz an angel. lol!
about 24 hours ago from twitterfeed

Sophie

Quote from: Boss Hogg on June 24, 2009, 11:21:12 PM
Hey there! George Noory is using Twitter.
Now you can get up to the minute updates directly from George Noory!

Highlights from George Noory's Twitter feed!

Vistited the new C2C web site. Great job Lex!
about 20 hours ago from twitterfeed

Bill Mummy called and had to cancled for lunch again : ( 
about 20 hours ago from twitterfeed

Just got my Member's Only Jacket from the dry cleaners. Looks like they were able to get the stains out.
about 20 hours ago from twitterfeed

No word from Sci-Fi today on when there planning to renew the show.  Had to leave word with the secretary. Again.
about 20 hours ago from twitterfeed

Tommy said it looks like Sci-Fi is having problems with there're web site. There hasn't been any new post about my show in weaks!
about 20 hours ago from twitterfeed

Mail came.  Looks like UFO Phil sent me a new CD. I'll give it a listen on the way to the station.
about 21 hours ago from twitterfeed

Just got the latest Arbitron ratings, C2C is still number one on KSFO-AM!
about 21 hours ago from twitterfeed

Hello to everyone at the night hawker zOne!
about 21 hours ago from twitterfeed

Darn, I just hit my head on the microphone again.
about 22 hours ago from twitterfeed

I need to talk to Charlie about studio safety at our monthly contract negotiation. I'm gonna insist on a helmets for all staff members.
about 22 hours ago from twitterfeed

Drudge just posted three childern mutilation stories tonight. Jackpot!
about 22 hours ago from twitterfeed

Show about to go live.  Tommy just brought in some new 3x5 index cards. I asked him to make sure these cards have blunt edges.
about 22 hours ago from twitterfeed

Just called Children's International during the brake to complain abot Maritza not making her monthly payment.  They said they'd look into it and get back to me   
about 22 hours ago from twitterfeed

Sent a email to Willy Birnes to check and sea how my next book is coming along.  He said it should be ready in a few more months.
about 22 hours ago from twitterfeed

Where's Tommy?
about 22 hours ago from twitterfeed

Childrrens International just calld bak and they said Maritza skipped out of country.  Looks like I'm gonna be short $22 bucks this month. That's gratitude for you.
about 22 hours ago from twitterfeed

Looked at the clock and it was 11:11!
about 22 hours ago from twitterfeed

Great show for tonight.  Goning have Tommy cue up some classic C2C for the last hour.
about 23 hours ago from twitterfeed

Show prep for next week. Gonna study up for upcoming guste Michio Kaku by watching all of Twilight Zone season 3 on DVD.
about 24 hours ago from twitterfeed

Tommy jsut phoned me and said there was a bird in his house. I asked him if he thought it waz an angel. lol!
about 24 hours ago from twitterfeed

Another exciting day in the life of Noory.  Thanks for the twitter by twitter.

Sophie

Quote from: Itty Bit on June 24, 2009, 09:54:09 PM
Art is supposed to be the host on Friday night.

Hi Itty Bit.  I hope it's true. 

Gumby, Dammit

Quote from: Boss Hogg on June 24, 2009, 11:21:12 PM


Where's Tommy?
about 22 hours ago from twitterfeed



LOL!

Where's Tommy?

They're all great. It's almost difficult to know if he actually wrote them or not...

Sophie

Quote from: Gumby, Dammit on June 24, 2009, 11:35:34 PM

LOL!

Where's Tommy?

George sent him to find Maritza.  $22 is $22.  That could fund next month's shoe polish.

Gumby, Dammit

Quote from: Sophie on June 24, 2009, 11:40:00 PM
George sent him to find Maritza.  $22 is $22.  That could fund next month's shoe polish.

Ha! No doubt!

Gumby, Dammit

George just now: "We shill be right back, and if you want to email me it's..."

Oh brother...

11angeleyes11

G.B. that was a special invitation to you  for correspondence.  Let it fly!!!!!!!!

Gumby, Dammit

Quote from: 11angeleyes11 on June 25, 2009, 01:13:08 AM
G.D. that was a special invitation to you  for correspondence.  Let it fly!!!!!!!!

George usually responds to negative emails with one word,  "Typical", not realizing that he's basically saying that his typical emails are negative. The Dope.

On a different note, I've noticed lately  that George has had his mic volume turned up in relation to the guest. This greatly magnifies the annoyance of his interrupting constantly...like a little while ago when the guest was on an interesting story about a Tarot reading and out of fucking nowhere it's:

LOUD GEORGE VOICE: "The Death card, uh-uh-uh, the skeleton, does thayat meen your going to die?" (paraphrased)

Stupid shithead.

GAG!


And these callers! OMG!!!

Gumby, Dammit

ZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzz

Everyone must have tuned in tonight.

Quote from: Gumby, Dammit on June 25, 2009, 01:02:39 AM
George just now: "We shill be right back, and if you want to email me it's..."

Oh brother...

Can always tell when the Snooron's been reading again, and has the thread on his mind...

George:  'I suck, er, I stuck it in the mail...'

Gumby, Dammit



George to guest just now: "Sometimes they call you Scotty, is it not?"

Then, after guest has a great insight:  "There's a message there, somewhere. Good for you."

The Professor

Quote from: Gumby, Dammit on June 25, 2009, 01:59:00 AM
ZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzz

Everyone must have tuned in tonight.

Hey GD, great job on the Tweedle-dee Tweedle-Dumb
George-Tommy graphic, hilarious...now it needs
A caption on it...there are so many possibilites

George: "Tommy, when is our next bathroom break?"

George: "Tommy, it's your turn to work the fly"

Tommy: "George, leave the buttons to me next time."

Tommy: "George, I think you may be a little too dependent on me lately"

Quote from: Gumby, Dammit on June 25, 2009, 01:55:08 AM
George usually responds to negative emails with one word,  "Typical", not realizing that he's basically saying that his typical emails are negative. The Dope.

Stupid shithead.

GAG!

And these callers! OMG!!!

Just the legible ones.   The ones he can't make out probably tried to say how much they love him and the show.

'Hegh, Jorg, wi lev yu, an jor sow'

Gumby, Dammit

Quote from: The Professor on June 25, 2009, 02:12:46 AM
Hey GD, great job on the Tweedle-dee Tweedle-Dumb
George-Tommy graphic, hilarious...now it needs
A caption on it...there are so many possibilites

George: "Tommy, when is our next bathroom break?"

George: "Tommy, it's your turn to work the fly"

Tommy: "George, leave the buttons to me next time."

Tommy: "George, I think you may be a little too dependent on me lately"



Tommy: "I didn't think you sucked THAT bad, daddy!"

George: "Tommy, are you a demon?"

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