BellGab.com Archive

Quote from: Jackstar on August 26, 2022, 11:14:59 AMI think people are starting to get suspicious.

Wow, it sure takes some people some time to figure out some big news fast enough to still be relevant, huh? Oh, I get it, you're hamstrung by your own silly "emergency?" because you're still living on a planet that requires an ozone layer or the population starts having an epileptic fit every 13 and 1/2 minutes. Or maybe you just feel that you all just have to dance. Funny how some of you just never feel like you have to get a job huh? Oh yeah, what do you think about that? that turned out to be a black magic generational curse. Well what's that like at homecoming dance then? Oh yeah never mind every single one of you would have been drunk. Consider the question retracted, and don't bother worrying about the future ones; there's not going to be a grade and nobody expects anything out of any of you and your ilk and y'all had your fucking chances and the rest of everybody fucking else's to get past this point, so you're just getting the Brain Blast now. You know I was just thinking that too and I sure as fuck wish it wasn't BB gun but no it's not it's just I'm just going to fucking puke onto the goddamn voice recognizer microphone... yeah, about that? It's so funny how any of you would look at him and think that he's the stupid. Did any of you look at that and think to yourselves, "wow that idiot is laundering way too much money through my mother's bank account?" who know mea culpa? does mea culpa? Well, we figured, if no Trace mea culpa then I think it's the end, we're done. However, that's funny I got four out of five hits over here on that one and that was just a shot in the dark.

Yeah you don't even know who I'm writing this to. So scratching at the collar and nervously shifting your weight from one leg to another that's one hell of a tail, buddy, when I can't call you buddy. Because you're not a buddy you're a button pig. Fucking hamster was on everything. I would, but get this: my phone just asked for the third time today to do another software update. like the Android root system! ready to install! ready to install! looks like you're writing something! well. you know what? I do write well, now fuck you, see there? I'm written something  well, we'll get the fuck out Fourth amendment. (This is in fact how genius inventors celebrate, don't like it? Leave.)


Anyway: there's a real Matrix. don't bother looking for it. you're not invited. (Analog niggers only and you're all digital cracker jack. Fucking bottom feeders really are the worst, with all your "shame, shame, shame," and text this shit, and get a job, and cut your hair, why don't you look decent,and why don't you mow the lawn, why don't you make it look decent, don't you know decent? (Threeve of the addressants are known liars about Family so out of out of all the people reading this I don't know how many of them get the joke but believe me my father being my father expecting me to be decent in merely 49 years is completely ridiculous notion well because I'm not your little bitch that's why and I'm not fucking grasshoppers little bitch either I don't know what the hell they're going to do with it but it's actually it's what you think because you saw the movie, yeah? they have that now. don't... don't worry about it you're not getting anything soon. Turns out that having security clearance is important, and then when something upends the whole goddamn system a whole bunch of bureaucratic fuck heads have to go do a whole bunch of fucking stupid busy work, because of people like I'm not going to say.

I'm glad you get the picture. Anyway beta test was great, they fixed some last thing this morning I wouldn't explain it all to anybody except I'm sure you're real curious but you know what I was real curious too and then what happened oh yeah we're not going to talk about that either.

Now I imagine some of you think this is code for a deeper and larger issue and you're absolutely right I don't really want to talk about it either and then I shouldn't even have to talk about it but look there's five you left and you know what if you all talk to each other more maybe I wouldn't have to think that y'all ever existed anyway. (2-3 votes for sad/please like me. Oops judges ruling, that's not like me that's kill me. Please, anything that my wife has ever been associated with will do.

Oh yeah did you hear there's a wife? Actually we don't know how many it could be up to 32 we think we actually don't know Jack or shit. Oh yeah I think you call him Mike or Michael and he's Jackstar and then that's a lot of names for just one guy and boy he is pissed about something I don't know what he doesn't want to talk about it it's hard to explain but yes it's me but he's in the future talking back into the past which is here yeah don't even begin to fucking give me any fucking grief about how that sounds crazy because you just go fuck yourself tomorrow yesterday and for the rest of your life if you want to even for the fucking moment remember how I felt like when somebody told you that you were full of shit when you weren't okay well you've been doing this to this kid for a long enough, and you keep on doing it you fine that's fine Christ I have to give somebody some fucking leeway here, right?


No I'm not joking I'm just making rhetorical question but it's interesting for you to mention that so quickly, given that I'm sure you would love to be at a participant now.

You realize that none of this is actually just and proper at all, right? Oh yeah you probably don't do you you're functionally illiterate and probably intoxicated on you don't even know what and why are you doing anything at all? Under whose authority?

Oh. God sent you two to Bellgab to argue with KUCZI. Okay, that is perhaps mildly plausible, and then when did you check in with The Apostille after you crossed The Boundary?

What do you mean, "what boundary?" you may have heard it referred to as the veil, or you may not have ever thought of it at all because maybe you don't know that that's how things work here sometimes people are dead and sometimes they're not and you can't just pop them back really nilly and then expect him to be ready to show up in court within 5 minutes unless they're you know a fucking AI construct, which doesn't really count when it's my mother. Dude, are you just like that high? You really are just making this up as you go along, huh?

No sir, that is not what I do at all, it really isn't. Thank you sir that's enough out of you for me.

Sure I'll leave you some rope. Pieces. Peace.

Quote from: Dr. MD MD on August 27, 2022, 06:41:09 PMSTFU

Well, now that John Hancock has turned in for the night, and "Mr Hyde the sausage in one of my wives whenever he fucking feels like it" gets back from the firing range with my father's guns, perhaps we can get something going.

In the meantime, Mr doctor Mr doctor and Mr doctor, would you mind explaining to me why anybody should tell you anything other than to remind you to drink a long tall glass of shut the fuck up and go away? I'm merely wondering what it is that you believe that your role is here.

Yeah I haven't even begun to research, I'm just wondering like what the fuck planet are you on. douchebag? No I don't think that's a planet, let's start with hers what's your name on Earth? sir? Ma'am? orphan? what is it?


Okay seriously that one just told me that it can't tell me her name unless she has her dolly. For real—that's what I got.

And you people say that I'm crazy. You know it may seem that way to somebody who's been doing this for 30 years, probably because there are certain colors of your eyes no longer attack, but there's also the thing that I'm taking the piss and you're actually guzzling it and mainlining it and then bathing it every chance you get because you're so pissed dependent that you've changed the rain on your planet to fucking piss.

Also no one has any kind of hiring Authority other than myself and the person who said what about me to win and where probably should have notified me and if they didn't I guess that's going to be something else somebody will have to investigate.

You are new around here, aren't you. Wow, it's amazing what a clipboard and little bit of Huntsville will get someone. Oh The Goddess is that where Authority comes from now? I thought it was God that sent you! so now it's The Goddess? which is it? And also I'd like to see what her adjudication decision was on the Amaro that you stole from me.


Yes I know who I am. I'm Michael Jackstar Clifford Kuczi Gomez-Morticia, and no, I don't give a rat's ass who you are, SIR because you're not at all operating with inbounds of any coherence and/or relevance.

Oh there's nothing wrong with being a regular and certainly not highly regular but the trouble is is that you're not a beneficiary at all, no you're actually not me. I'm me.

And, just like that, *snap* the whole entire audience saw where the D.I.D. started. Have fun y
At your timequake party, no hands—no cliffs—no fucks given—if you're a hot mess alcoholic and you have no fucking idea because you're that far down into your total perspective denial, clap your hands—no claps—no harps ... oh wait, I don't think this g*y's going to make this Secret Indian name work.

I mean he's already struggling not to cry and there's another 26 stanzas to go. He's not KUCZI. He doesn't possess  The Kuczi Advantage. He doesn't even know how to define The Kuczi Advantage, since he's been accused on several timelines of raping her to death and taking her identity, it's not really relevant to the situation in general anyway, and that situation is in the future for many anyway, and he stole my alcohol and I'm more than happy to go over to wherever he is and punch him in the face but I'm really not doing that as a first option anyway.

See first I'd have to decide whether or not to stray away from my pacifist philosophy, and then and only then I would just be free to punch willy-nilly. I think long before that I know this gay who would want to get this g*y.

So as you can see I'm not even a trained lawyer or legal professional but I still annihilated your entire argument. Cinders, frogscat golem. I guess it's good that you got five more days to go.

And now that you're you know I did I'm sure somebody will take care of you. perhaps your ex-wife.

Oh you mean you're married to a dead woman? I thought you're married to The Goddess? I see. Well I'm not going to take you to cussing now because I don't have that kind of authority I don't know where you are and this is all an imagination but I'm pretty sure no one's going to take you seriously ever anywhere given that if this is what you're like on a good day how are you going to be after five more days of cleanest? Oh you didn't... you didn't know that. Huh.


"Sunstar," whatever, just how long you been doing this kind of thing, oh really 27 years? so what year did you start and how did you get going? wow I can barely hear you over the flop sweat it just suddenly exploded all over your body.

(Picture this, a frog walking on land boiling away and not realizing it because he didn't think that the atmosphere could boil at that temperature here. See he thinks it's water and it's not actually: it's (blank) water.)

No I'm pretty sure I'm not in heaven, and I'm very certain I'm not in a matrix, because if I were I wouldn't have to roll this crap this some dork who's taking my place in the real world somehow, so I'm willing to say that's my final answer now and I don't care where he is because all we got to do is crank up the temp a little bit more and the guy's going to explode into particles and all those particles would have been tadpoles but instead of being tadpoles they're going to be well, you know: CINDERS.

HELL I HEARD THAT OVER HERE. IS HE REALLY LOOKING FOR A HARD LINE? JESUS WHAT IS HE FUCKING DRINKING ANTIFREEZE AND PLUTO'S JIZZ? OH YEAH CUZ IF THAT'S REALLY THE GUY WHO.. NEVER MIND. JUST... TRUST ME. THAT'S... THAT'S NOT GREATFRUIT FOR THIS DOG WOMAN. AND THAT'S NOT GRAPEFRUIT FOR THIS DOG MAN.

WOW, OKAY I'LL LET YOU ALL TAKE CARE OF THAT FROM THIS POINT FORWARD. YES I THINK YOU PROBABLY DID NEED ME BUT I DON'T THINK YOU NEED ME ANY FURTHER... YEAH. WAS THAT AN EYEBALL OR A TESTICLE? WOW THAT SOUNDS REALLY DISGUSTING, AND I DON'T REALLY WANT TO SEE THAT ALTHOUGH I'M CURIOUS WHAT HAPPENS... OKAY WAS THAT HIM? OR WAS THAT SOMEBODY IN THE AUDIENCE PUKING?



Imagine a space in quarters of time that is exactly equidistant between both possible realities in the future and then imagine that one of those realities obviously is bullshit and then the structure no longer has a foundational support and as reality moves forward the person in the imaginary one starts to fade away because there's nowhere for it to go and then all those counterfeit Algonquin babies that some fucking ninja frog tried to steal? And they don't die cuz they're not alive they're copies and then the real ones... I am not certain at all, but I do trust my love Grapefruit and there is no way she would have been dumb enough to let that guy do that again, oh she wasn't? somebody else was. so who's that? oh Elise... really Esther? "release"? well that's fascinating. Okay put "blister" on the list, and destroy all other esters. Noblestein! and then the other one I can't remember... I can barely remember her she's not even interested. she's going to be cut anyway because she's like that, just way too snotty and high strung, and so I don't think that we need... oh is that so? okay you're in. We don't need to destroy all Esthers. Just get rid of the biggest fattest one and then show the pieces to the rest and maybe they'll get in line. Where did all these elephants come from? I mean that I just met the people today.

And this is really something that I'm just making up on the fly, is it?

Well it's amazing that I can create all that false paper on the fly while I'm sitting on the can in reality, so maybe you might want to figure out how to share that trick before you decide to start taking Commander shit you big whiny fucking baby.

Not going to lie: I miss the Jesuit. No I'm not a Jesuit I'm not a Freemason I'm not in a very good mood and I am Michael Clifford Kuczi
The_Kingpinner

and it's embarrassing that the people thought that this is going to be worth your time. And it seems like if they really wanted to go to Leavenworth for major felony fraud should I just like that they found the best way ever?

Oh and as an aside, I must confess that whether cold or hot, the best revenge is obviously served while I'm comfortably sitting on the crapper, because I didn't have to take your shit and it just slid right through me like what's left of goose wood through the Virgin Meg Ryan.

Yeah you can stay with me, "goose," but you're going to have to come back and get the rest because you know I need to talk to Colombo.

No promises but I can feel your desire. Hopefully they die? No that is not what that means oof oy Veda, it's like deja vu accepted involves remembering the last time you killed your Nemesis and comparing how the present one is better or less better or what it's hard to say cuz every time in Nemesis he's killed again right in front of you and he doesn't even fucking know what's happening cuz he's that fucking much of a drunk and fucking simpleton, it's actually pretty good and oh he he got panicked and then he exploded yeah that's what happens in your blood pressure gets too high and you're standing in a atmospheric fluid that isn't that all behaving the way it did in his chemistry class... government idiot.

Pretty sure that the chemistry trick that they didn't teach in Quantico is always going to be something badass from Ukraine, pairs nicely with dumplings, and some fucking Chianti and a big pink bottle of Scotch to brain it over the head with.

And yes if you keep killing him he will stop responding to respond requests. I don't think you're going to get any of the third place girls to actually manifest however until I come back to make them feel safe.


Yeah ladies I'm not fond of him either, and really never was... But his twin sisters sure liked him a lot at one point so we'll have to ask them later when they get here.



And thank you David for not being that bad, yeah I am commanding why it's my world go command your own world all right oh yeah is she there cool give her a big thumbs up the pipe for me thanks, signed the Kingpinner & Co—


/BREAK
/BREAK
/BREAK
/CLEAN RUB DOWN
/FIND LOCAL TUB
/FIND LOCAL GRILL
/FIND LOCAL PHYLACTERY
SUMMON X, TARGET Y, CINDER ALL VANDER ZEE
/AUTHORITY: MARKET INSTANT INSECT ALPHABET.INI
/PASSWORD?

Quote from: Dr. MD MD on August 27, 2022, 06:41:09 PMSTFU

This fucking guy, okay what happens is that when he comes back and sees this hot Doris Day gangrenous head wound bandage and please do strip, he goes "oh my God what the fuck" and then all of a sudden, like did you see Ghostbusters. it's nothing like that at all.

More like Superman 2 where everybody gets fucked but Superman gets powers back okay precisely though, it traps Rubini and he freaks out and then IT cleanses the entire world (it thinks it's winning) and puts all the filth into whichever Rubini is at Max Hate (it'll be the one that's wearing a hat with the sign on it that says "I'm not a kike" and then he's instahappy and then he snaps his fingers and then suddenly there's a nice Rubini and all the evil just... goes away.


Number one I explained to you that there's a Prime Rubini and that he's my friend and he's David, King of the Jews. okay he usually doesn't like to manifest. Yeah I feel him on that one, I usually don't like to get a call from David rubini on the day after Valentine's Day and then getting a call on Valentine's Day that got answered with nothing and then nothing back that was really rude like what there was nothing there oh I mean you were expecting something actionable I don't know exactly what the hell you thought you were going to get but here's what you got Clean Rubini everything else is cinders he's in charge of that and I'm in charge over here and so there's two like it's supposed to be (yeah he's Darth Vader but I'm fucking Samuel Jackson and his lightsaber and his favorite ho who can use Force push out of her Cruise, don't worry about it, look Jackstar loves Rubini and I love Heather Wade but she's not even in this here, Chester is always looking. I never thought that he raped her! doesn't matter even if he did they were married yeah and believe me compared to what's been happening I'd love to have her raped if it means she can live forever but she can't and he won't anyway cuz now he's impotent oh yeah sorry about that; yes sir it is of course fixed first thing in post, don't worry you need a night off anyway, I'm sure you'll find another way to go to sleep millions of people have, what really and anxiety attack really holy shit see he needs grapefruit obviously, and then she doesn't need me obviously, and then I did just save her life again so yeah she can thank me later the usual way, honey do you want do you want me to tell them what you do or do you want me to do it to me again oh she thanks me by forgetting to remind me to brush my teeth because she doesn't want to remind me to brush my teeth she just wants me to go the fuck away and I don't want to brush my teeth either because it seems like there's something that she should do before she goes the fuck away too, oh yeah oh yeah see that's handle and then he can handle that and then I have other things going on anybody else a critic or an editor? (Ed: oh I wouldn't dare criticize you.) Cool my Hitler's here. Quick warm up the Holocaustdek HolocausticHotTub and page Mal Kuczi Dental Tech, Inc., blue oyster hates blue waffle salad bar, you are writing this down right because I am? Very good, good yeah I don't know what the fuck's going to happen but it's obviously working... Oh did you have troubles when the fucking rapist was trying to be a goddamniter implementor? Imagine that. See I told you it wasn't Rubini, and see I told you Richard, Rubini is going to sue the fuck out of you! lol, good night Gracie, you know the next Groyper cast we're going to be asking her for proof of Life about you, you fucking maggot, epic burn, g-d no wonder everybody wants this job) and there's more than enough women to go around to make it to the next whatever no you don't understand I just cleanse for beating and then giving back to you and destroyed everything else in the process how is that a problem oh you like dirty "neutrino the neuterino" rubino, believe me just he'll roll around in the dirt a little bit like a dog just fresh from the bathtub he doesn't want to you know smell too clean or else the prayerful just won't recognize him as one of their own.


Okay, that seems like a lot of bullshit but in the end the balance is maintained. I need to not do that for a while and make sure that it sticks. trust me it's Sourceror business. very complicated. I'll be in the shower and if anybody needs any help you come get me and you blow me that's it that's all I can tell you you need help well you know I don't need help but nothing to you, right? David I never thought you were a kike, in fact we talked about that hey fuck you I get to use the word kite all right I'll punch you in the face later whatever good night crazy Gracie.


PS note to self pass a law that all of Richard's wives from now on have to be named Gracie


Tldr, Jackstar fired Dickstar and gave his job to his wife, and it's legit action.

(Yes of course Richard's wife is named Lickstar. come on you. have to ask? No I don't think I have to ask him I did fire him and if you want me to come on you I will but let's hold on hold on your names like Star you got his job you're going to look just like him but you're going to be able to come forward and take over and he won't like it. No don't look at him look at me it's done it's handled I didn't like the way he was treating you and he was doing his job poorly and there was this other guy but he's terrified all right are you all done like looking Ruby he's like stunned he's he doesn't have he doesn't have the clap anymore he's alive there's so many females around who are willing to tolerate his presence that he has no idea who to be jealous of except me but then I shared all my power with him equally, so what is he jealous of? he's jealous cuz he doesn't have any news to be jealous of anymore! look I just cured his PTSD thanks everybody good night p o l


(Never forget: Jackstar cares.)

Quote from: Dr. MD MD on August 27, 2022, 06:41:09 PMSTFU

New rule: everytime this guy shows up we have to start singing FHAJGF and we don't stop until he starts to tear up and then we switch to around with WYWH, and then eventually he'll probably just gouge out his eyes on thumbs.


SAVE SOME FOR THE MORNING KIDS.
I'M A WRITER BUT
THERE IS A RESERVOIR
YEAH I'M REALLY PROUD OF Y'ALL TOO BYE
Well he can be proud of that, but that is what Rubini does! he does eat foreskins! that's all, yeah he can teleport yeah he can yeah yeah he can somebody's.... he got 122?? shit. okay that guy might have a condition, no the guy in the ground, Rubini doesn't have a condition... Rubini has an *appetite.* all right I'll see you later bye
j*e0l055:0

Quote from: Dr. MD MD on August 27, 2022, 06:41:09 PMSTFU

Whoare you again? Oh never mind I'm supposed to shut up because nameless dick bag thinks I should. Has everybody seen your foreskin yet? I want to see before and after shots nigger oh I'm sorry shit did I say that out loud Jesus what the fuck kind of website is this MV how did you let that not how do you let that get through fuck my career is over God damn it bye

To Whom It Totes Concerns:

If any single one of you five left out of this latest loop of causality relevant relationship patterns knew what my job really was, all this time, you'd all probably have to draw straws or flip coins or play Polish Roulette for a little bit to determine who was gonna start offering up the doofus on your left the dorpus on your right's gonads as a bribe or a peace offering or a WHATEVER IT TAKES TO EARN FORGIVENESS, people, because I specifcally wish for the five of you to know--not each other, let's not be crass, or rather, let's note that I definitely am not, right? No, I am a twat, that doesn't mean I have one, anyway, listen up you primitive screwheads, and listen up good: I'm tired of people asking me why I do not have "a job," and as of today, by Divine edict, no less, something is gonna get actually done about it.

Don't ask. The week I have been having is simply not to be believed--much like, what great friends The Five Of You (not U.S., one of you is a cafe eier, and the least intimidating thug -ever-) really could have at least been to each other, right? If certainly not yet to me.

Don't worry about it. And concerns? Hah! Whatever problems any of y'all thought you were having were, grats, you are all--I mean Ewe Five, standing baaaa.. look, things are gonna change. For everyone. But I chose you rank lot first.

I don't have to do this. Hey, here's an idea: petition some Punyling Court for another order that restraints! I mean, come on. Why not just go for the gusto? (Ed: because they're all just a gang of whiny fags.) Okay, Editor: that's rude. Number two: I don't concur. The incessantly reemergent and relentlessly recessive genetic traits and race treason markers that bring the combo of fully functionally illiteratcy Ilkhorned and a relentless, insatiable craving to procure more and more maps to stores that sell shoes with maps on them--JUST those shoes, JUST these maps, right?--it's about to just be, like, globally healed.

Imagine it. Oh, wait, sorry, I forgot you're basically all retards here. (Ed: Facts.) Oh, okay. Essentially retarded. (Ed: No, seriously, wow, transporter beam needs work before mainline production. Look: these are retards that you thought were essential, but do remember that you are talking to the future, Moron, and they still have time to have you run down like Steve King's littler, bitchier "brother," who is of course trans and a massive hack and compulsively plagiarizes his "brother's work" just so as to try and trigger an anyeursym. Now, can you figure out all that spun-out translated from wut bullshit? Well, if you did it at all, you're not essential, necessarily, but you are eccentric, and if you did it in your spare time over the course of a "routine week" then you're an obsessive freak, sure, but perhaps not a retard, and if you have already done it on the fly without even thinking that's unusual, well, say boy howdy, slap your own ass and call yourself anything you wanna, and yeah, he used to do that too. But now he's not "retarded" anymore, he's "advanced along an exotic axis." So yeah, he's essentially still retarded, right? But hang in there, misanthropes, obviously this is worth it, look at the massive financial liability that's he's leaving himself wide upon to here! (He's got about three-quarter mil left. Why? Is someone concerned for his well-being, or do you stackhounds just wanna figure out if the gold is fool's or fakir's? It's fuckin' five fingers of, frankly, too damn much interest in Boy Richies personal life and lives to even be wondering, and since clearly, you're all just five randos Rain Man decided to pick out to whine at/to\about (just go with your new cover ID and don't whine-o, "Power Randos," by the way thangs for some helps, fo' sho'), it's not like the five of you have anything in common to Dat Noir Fresh New Prince. Yeah, I get you... but notice: three quarters of a mil in what? see, that's key, and, with your (The Key), you could now jump into the U.S. Navy's BrainMatrix hot Chinatown garbage supercreepshow, BUT, they're gonna change the name, but YEAH: they built one, duh, oh, uh, when? Yeah, hahha, that's the one thing about it so CLASSIFIED that he doesn't know either. Why would he care? Time travel timeline access, yo. He's got it, you don't, and yeah, "a job." God. No wonder he couldn't stand most of you. Yes, no one will care what they call it, it's the fucking Matrix. of course they built it. How? Shut the fuck up. Seriously. Do you know why I sound like an idiot? Because you're not supposed to have to read all the big words out loud like you've never seen them before unless you're happy about it, but like... have any of you ever been happy about anything before? He does doubt. I don't, but I do play along. Anyway, he wanted to tell some select few somethings, and it just so happened that there were these five people left over. Right?

Don't take it personal, he hates toteseveryone now, and you'll find out why soon enough. The point is, he wanted to explain that the reason you're all so fucked off is that y'all have been punished by, *ahem* "Brain Cap Martian Mushrooms From Planet G-THX115417" and he says that's pronounced, yeah, something scatalogical, something meant to be insulting... but is it really insulting to call someone out for their bullshit? No. Especially if it's done in a way that no one else knows what is what. (Or shouldn't, anyway.)

And I'm a diplomat, I'm not that snooty go-getter who taught Hellen Keller to roll a joint. (Oh yeah, here it comes.) He says he just can't even with the bigotry, and the crude Puny bar-brawling, and he just can't even. "Bring himself to give a shit."

Speaking of which, just as I was finishing up this Managed Email Communication (The Royal We has to do this shit now, it's so fuckin' bogus, but you know how it is, it's a Planet of Retards, it's a Fallen world, and he's not an arrrogant prick, but that's always been good enough you lot, so why change anything now? I mean besides whatever you most recently sharted and still haven't washed), some fuckin' lunatic goblin/dwarven spawn of Jerry Nadler, I mean we're talking maybe a real dick or not, but couldn't tell if the boulders for boobs had dicks of their own or if they were just auto-aligning to the nearest, and then the attitiude was clear, "Yeah, I don't get sex much either, so what?" Well, so what is, it's not about the sex, and it's not about getting enough food from the poison food store, like was she trying to be as insulting as possible without making it undeniable that she was hand-selected to be a huge insult, right? And, what's more, this arrogrant biznatch had been here once before with her bullshit gangsta wrap party hokus pokus, and, hey, guess what? I outrank ALL Jesters and -most- Templars now. Automatically. Period.

Just think of that, Chester Fucklesticks. Me, outranking you. Does that mean you have to hire a band to play "For He's A Jolly Good Fellow" while you try to fellate/wash yourselves every Sunday morning, or do you want to see me do an Aristocrats version of it, posted on my MySpace page? (These are rhetorical queries. It means you're not supposed to answer them or report them to the fuzz in your pre-stalking no-crime yes-body KUCZIBLAME log? Oh, you know what? Do all fucking three every quarter hour from now on, how about that? Maybe that'll finally get someone the JUST ICE that was in fact deserved.) Look,, it's like this: judge not, lest ye be judged. Okay well here we are, time to judge. Oh, wait.... should I slam some more METH for the first time ever again, OR WHAT?

It's like this: you're all guilty of a serious felony crime, it's discrimination on the basis of I'm above the law and I get to step in with my judgement, IF, in MY Ju... yeah, can it, you old coot.

It's like this. I didn't want trouble. I didn't expect trouble. Then, my mother died, and her sister insta-turned into the most miserably snotty and arrogant whiny little bitch I had ever seen... and then, suddenly, it was all about the grief. However, explaining this issue IS respect. Because, if I had made a stink THEN. THERE. At the SOURCE of this LATEST STREAM OF oh really? Come get some then. No really.

Look, just relax. The point is, things are gonna change, and some people aren't going to be happy about that, and I am sure as shit gonna be. Here's why: I'm never going to be bored, I'm never going to lose, I'm never gonna run out of meth-mouth bigots like you five... see the connection?

Yeah, I you all jelly AF, that's right. You should have seen the heifer-piggy that came by AGAIN today. Seriously, she shows up while I'm naked with my pants down around my ankles because I was shitting, right? And then I needed a keyboard. So then I threw one of my 6 phones aside, and stood up to go get a laptop on deck.

no, I don't have a laptop in the bathroom. that's disgusting. I don't care if I do hang out in the toiletroom for 19 to twenty-23 hours a day (it's a timeshare with Julian) because my nascent CPTSD (diagnosis potential: "as yet unknown how crippling I'm going to feel like being on any given day, especially since I'm afraid of how much Xanax you're gonna need when any of you realize in a flashing instant, just how bad a mistake I just saw you make... right?) makes real -afraid,- right? and nothing makes me feel safer than the warm glow of Privileged Communication that I possess ALL the TIME now, and have for QUITE SOME TIME now, and oh, by the way, I don't give a shit what your lawyer told you, I talk in email and I send email to whoever the fuck I want because, for one thing, that's getting handled, and for another, you can save face by simply saying,

"Well, Michael, I missed you too, that's why I emailed you." See? If you don't use the word 'write' no one will suspect you of plagiarism because you and your ilk's form of writing is perhaps superior to decal dingerpainting... but only because I'm tired of all the stickers being only 3 choices: corn, NO OTHER CHOICE: PCP, and a copy of that snappy I took of my former helpmate (oh yeah she helped alright) and the picture she seemed not really happy to be asked to hold up (oh yeah, no, she really didn't want to be snapped, no, now did s/he|it? yeah no shit sherlock, duh, like I was thrilled, Jacker Jestersaucemaster) but I think she really did enjoy the process by the end, since, well, fuck it, she was born on the Cusp of Prophecy, so what? She wasn't always 100% correct, right? Well, actually, yes she was... until she fucking lied t me.

So good hire there, Shawshank. I guess maybe not? Well, let's put it this way. You hired one, then unbeknowst to you, that was a shapeshifter. (Stay with me here.) Forget everything else you've ever thought was important. SHAPESHIFTERS ARE NOTHING NEW. A WORKING MATRIX, DUMMY, THAT REALLY IS. And now, tell me again, come on, do it. Tell me to fucking mow a fucking lawn one more goddam time. I'll put that fucked off goddam buzzard on my own "debrief" (it's not a podcast) and I don't give a shit if she's live or dead, because guess what? The real one fucking listens to Patsy now, you get it? Good. This messages is not "a courtesy."

This message is a direct response to whatever fuckhead told his lawyer, not the fuckhead, the fuckhead whose lawyer -also- happens to be a fuckhead, wow, imagine that? Oh, that's right, you're all sex, drug, pain, gambling, addiction, and being a whiney bitchass and/or ADDICTION THEREOF THERE UNTO, and yes, wow, addiction to addiction is also possible. Hold on. Are all five of you equaly fucking surprised? Amazing. How did I know this? Oh, I don't know that I just counted 4 and then heard the 5th come on from confused peer pressure and herd-mind thinking... let's just say I'm a great guesser.

"he's got no brain left" or something, right? I don't really care. it doesn't work so well when getting into the future. Now, let's get into the past. That picture that battleaxe is holding up? I have no fucking idea where it is, and I don't give a shit. Marathon Bullshit Gifford'son, I've seriously almost fucking had it with you, and you and I -never- talk. Do you know why? Well, because you're stupid, you think, and I'm tired of having to coddle your poor little feelings, that's why.

What is it with you, right? First it was to not teach me a single fucking thing about life, then to complain I wasn't making the right choices. Then, sneering at cannabis while swilling ethanol and Your Own Private Drain Cleaner and pre-judging that the fat lazy kid obviously can't handle METH, so fuck it, don't tell him about amphetamines either, THOSE ARE ALL WE HAVE LEFT NOW, whisper whisper *if he finds it on his own, we can't be blamed for corruption* like who's on first now, really? Okay, number one, wow, that is a big difference. And I never saw it before TODAY. This year. No really. LIKE NOW. So, what was with the defamatory spam about how I'm a "meth junkie," huh? oh no, it was "needle junky." Except that was misspelled. Okay, now, fucking you, I can smell you grinnin' from here.

Just how much did and do you know, and when did you know it? No, I'm not mad. I'm not even salty. I'm disappointed, is what I am. Because you accidentally created a monster. Okay, for one thing, get this dummy:

I've seen George, I've seen Patsy, and yeah, it was a little weird, now that I think of it... but no, I still hadn't ever even SMELLED the real thing, right? So it's not like slamming meth would send me to Heaven. Look, I don't know how to get back and I'm not telling anyone anyway--because it's SACRED and you're a MEATHEAD, Shitbags--but sure, call it what you want. Your brother. My mother. Opposite sides of the hot rails, sure. Yeah, he was fuckin' loaded, alright. So drunk it took him like 3 googly eyes and swayin' to and fro seconds for him to recognize me... and then, he actually smiled.

Imagine that, Captain Richard Boss. Your brother. Smiling at Kuczi. ACTUALLY HAPPY. Not totes happy, mind you. But at first? Oh, hells yeah, I was happy too. Holey shit, actual Heaven. actual Matrix. and I can't even tell the fucking difference... and why wouldn't I be "on" something, eh? What difference does that make? Oh, I'll you the difference... uh, not today.

Beacuse listen up you primitve screwheads, and listen up. I KNOW THINGS. And it's now at the point that if I am not more careful--and you're goddam right I won't be, Dickless--I'm gonna accidentally crash more economies of more small nations. OOps! Yeah, my bad, your sudden realizatoin that not only am I not lying, I don't not care, but I also don't care... fuck your whole world up, Mang.

Your brother. Alive. Walking. Talking. Drinking somehow, and I don't know what, right? Look at you, interest pique. Yeah, your brother drunk in heaven, or a matrix, but defintely your dead-ass rude-as-fuck brother, ya moron asshole.

And yeah, of course I thought about telling you. After finishing spanking it to a plate featuring a bas relief of Jahbulon porking your mom while shooting both your dads through the scrotes and the skulls in a magickal maneuver so goddam totestopsecret, I can only describe it as, "something your mother heard her sister thought was "crude," so she went to find a cheer captain she hadn't picked up HPV from to trade the antitode for so she could be sure to never have to know what it felt like to look up to anyone fat, and yeah, what?

Seriously. THAT WAS THE ONLY WAY TO DESCRIBE IT. Because, you know, Mysteries. Secrets. Also your mom's twat was so damn nice, she got to have two husbands while my mother got the one SSI payment and the broken athlete you taught Budweiser to, but wouldn't protect him from cannabis prosecution and deportation fears?

You know what broke my heart? Seeing that fat fuck lying in a fancy casket in a CAT hoodie, and how much meth that dude and I could have done safely, legally, lawfully, and responsibly... but let me guess, you all got a some kind of Impo Memo about who gets to have what and when, and it said KUCZI can't have anything! EVER! And anything he likes? It fucking sucks and/or keep him away from it. or her. No, don't keep him away from males, hahaha, no problem there. (Dude, if you only knew the shitstorm you somehow caused. Thanks, Overwatch Commander, hey by the way, do you know how to synthesize a methylated alkaloid? That's too bad, because I probably know a guy who could drop your lardo-bombardo ass into Diego Garcia TONIGHT. in TWO HOURS, Bro, ONE FALSE MOVE? IN THE HOLE FOREVER *CLANG*.

Sound like fun? Hey, how about this one. Any of you have a daughter, or a daughter/son team (vadge is required, but not for sex, it's because if a person can somehow be born on this fucking planet without IMMEDIATELY having LITTLE BITTY VERBOTEN BITS IMMEDIATELY SNIPPED OFF, like... what the fuck is wrong with you people? Seriously?

Oh, right. Problems always develop on planets that keep The Craft a liiiiitle too goddam close to the vest. Like here. Especially with you twat-eyed ignoramouses. Holy fucking shit. You know, I just about always knew, but... when I had it CONFIRMED. I couldn't fucking believe it.

Someone thought that would work? Pfft. Un fucking real. Look, I won't openly spread _toomany_ more secrets, but, get this? You're all done. Pack your shit, you're off the rock, you're on the no one knows yet, right? Because obviously all y'all are just high AF with balls, allll the time. Shaking my damn head. And I'm lazy. Oh, really? is that because it took me this long to get around to mentioning to you that you're all bigoted racist addicts and mouthbreathing whores, wait, not all, how likely is that? I mean lots of people skip weddings involving dentistry, right?

But I'm "lazy." Sigh. Look. Someone is gonna be pissed, they don't even know why yet, because, do you think this is a good way to disseminate classified intel? Yeah, me neither. Good thing I'm not doing that, right? yep. totally.

Also, you're a complete idiot and that lawyer you hired? He gets to flip it all around any time he wants. HE wants. Not you. HIM. in HIS discretion. And, hey, guess what? I have demonstrated Masterful competency here. You know who hasn't? EVERYONE ON YOUR TEAM EXCEPT THE ONE NOT IN THE FAMILY. Do you even know who that could be? Yeah, no, silly. that is because you are an idiot. Also, the inexorable decay of gray matter from CONSTANT ALCOHOL ABUSE. Oh, but you knew best on me, que? Interesting.

It is my hope that this message arrives where it needs to go just a little too late to stop the cascading shill effect consequences. So it looks just barely plausible. Because it's not. it's really not. Shit, dawg, it's fuckin' decided. And, do you know why? Me netiher. But your brother does. Did. I don't know, was it matrix and they rebooted the server? Maybe he was "randomly" exactly like George. (Could be. Nah, I won't tell you. Oh, I know: but it's classified, so fuck off, drunken brother of another drunken brother. Oh, is that too soon? really? how long has that nigga been dead? fuck, not as long as my cock, that's for sure.

About a year and a half. And, do you know why? No one was nice to it so I strangled it to death. Oh yeah, as a fucking doornail. I know, I want to believe it can be reversed as will. the pressure is on you, Star Chamber Family.

I don't need to know if any of you hired that one bitch to prop up that other bitch instead of DOING THE OBVIOUS. Like, I just cannot even fathom. But it's okay. we good now.

yah, I would advise you to start drinking heavily, Bluto. And that's fine with me. Oooh. You gonna do, what, MORE witchcraft? /groan. Look, quit while you were imagining you were ahead. this is already adjudiacated. It's the Divine's call.

See? Perking. So just realize that I am not gonna drop it. Why should I? Give me two good reasons. See? You got nothing. BLACK MAGICK GENERATIONAL CURSING. Believe it. You're living it. Learn it? No, asshole, I teach it, and you don't get to know, and I get to decide, and no, I have no plans for a bloodorgy. Awwwe. Look, a natural. BECAUSE IT'LL BE A FUCKING BLOODBATH. FOR SERIOUS.


(Anyone else following along, wanna pencil in your thoughts on what kinda secret shit I'm openly discussing? See? Look? Shields. Paladin. Shut the fuck up. Because now you're just panick babbling. Can you do like a sleeper hold on yourself, or just, like, extended blood family relatives that you think you know better than -every- time, what is it? Yeah, a Gifford thing. Sure.

I hope George sees you coming and fucking hides from you for Eternity, you worthless drunkard dope. Like you have no idea what you have done. Seriously. it's heinous. Oh, but it was within your interpretation of your house of WHOSE "Masonic" LAw? Yeah, I'm distracted too. Look, no, but yes, and of course, and oh yeah, completely.

Agreed. So mote it be. You may now go back to that twerp and he'll never know. NEVER. I can guarantee that he'll stay alive for long, but yeah, I will always let you try to Resurrect. And then, I'll gently remind you... do it or don't, come on the man is fucking dead, right? You expect him to just pop up and do a jig?

Oh yeah, that tech exists but look: Standards. Now, back to actual work. (I have a job. Any questions? Anyway at all? Oh yes. Are you kidding me? DUH.) See? Now it's totes #official. I have a goddam job.

NO. NO ONE KNOWS WHAT IT IS. YOU KNOW? NOT EVEN ME. TELL YOU WHAT, FUCKMASTER SMITH, WHAT'S YOUR FUCKING 'JOB'? OH? BECAUSE MY GUESS WAS KAYLENE, ALL GOOD, AND HEY WAIT... WHO? WOW. WHAT A DICK! BUT NO. SAD. BORING.

AND, JUST LIKE THAT. Word has spread. Now. the rest of you who aren't "real" Masonick Lodge Member Holdings of Members... what? You've never been a real Lodge Member with Holdings of Members? Tell you what, Prime Baby Bottom Bitch, don't worry. Where we get to go now, the fucking members hold themselves and quiver when we come into the joint, because it's like this:

I invented it, i named it, I set the rules, and yes, forever. I know, she's gonna deal. I know, she loves it. Of course. Yeah, she can make her own way, and no, not at all. She's a toddler. We do need to be careful though.

Things can go wrong if you, say, already did this, and let Enki out. Right. So you get to lose a sack? We'll see, and it wasn't that either. Wow, look at you. BLACK MAGIC GENERATIONAL CURSE. So maybe some of you see the problem.


And maybe some of you are -real- lawyers and all you see are dollar signs. See? Mr. (Blank)... i never said you weren't worth it. I said it's gonna be hard to convince my father. And it was! And yes, he reports wild happiness. Or, you know, I'm drinking too much cough syrup again. (Yeah, thank you Sir. Semper fidelis, tempus fugit. No, no no, please, you capitalize IT. Teehee )

Now. Wasn't that fun? Yeah we could have been doing it the whole time. Instead? You know, whenever. Oh, God, forgive me, but I do wanna give him a stroke. Like my mom? Oh yeah, I'l help. Oh yeah, if I really really needed it, I would have. I will always remember and that is very impressive, yes.

Well, because it wouldn't ever have been fair to anyone else ever again. it's already devastating to the squaw. The Feathernigga's Handblaster. Look, she's my accountants dopeslave, I'll call that vapid whore any goddam thing I want. No, you can't have one yet. They take a long time to fish up from the Black Lagoon, unless you don't care if it can read or find a newspaper or both. Oh yeah, if you don't care about either? I can outfit you with a six pack while our House Roy gives you an Olmstead on your way out the front doors, just as unbiased, and unjudged as you may please.

I'd still be careful if I were you. Here where I am? Oh yeah. Total Demi-God. That's temporary. Because I am a HUMAN being A SOURCER ERROR SUCCESSION. Yes, that is serious. And yes. I bet it's fuckin' serious.

And yes, I would as well. Yep. In the dead of fucking night only to die in the morning and then, seriously, who likes the name "Capulet" that much? But it would be concievable. And as for that, well! there's been a change.

I don't know either, but yes, we do get all the time in the word. And yes: it's so fucking easy. Vegas in like 20 minutes. yes we can. I do not have to, no.

If you do? Well, start vlogging, because one day, you'll wish for everyone to know. in the meantime this is meant as a response to an upcoming decision by parties or parties unknown to, as the say, "take it to the mattresses." Now, let me be clear:

This is not The Plan. This is not announcement. This is a 7th inning stretch. And that is why nothing has gone anyway... fear.

it's nice to have something new to be terrified of. And it's nice ot know that UNLAWFUL SURVEILLANCE will come to a SWIFT END. And, no, of course we haven't. Lie? To you? About myslef? ourselves? okay, for one thing, you are a worker. do you even vote? really? when. On what? huh. well I'm going for the bias so it's 11 nintey nine, and this is out of hand --already.--

(Yep. This is lawful, and this is well beyond Sparta.)

Now. Out of the five of you, one is gonna step down. Yeah, that'll be the diplomat. Why? Well, I have to take my Foreign Service Boards. I'd like to know how much better I would do if I actually studied while someone actually intellgent savors on my organ meat, yeah. "Disgusting," oh really? Which part? lol.

I just fukcing might. We will see. Not everyting is under my purview and idiots gonna thrive until harvest, but for the most part it is unparalleled access and power. And of course they were willing to submerge my life by any means necessary. Power corrupts, and the notion of absolute power? Sorry what? Of course I was thinking about someone's tits. Of cousre i a mnot going to tell you. Why would I?

Excuse me? Oh yeah, this is a lawyer. He demands to know why I'm wasting his time. Oh, well, I'm not, because you're the one whiniing, and I'm the one wasting my time for your benefit. Wow, angry threats.

Is this always what a lawyer does here, or is this demon possession? Good think I'm married to a Glenda.

And, yes.

A sea change indeed. More like a fucking C4 change. So.

Who represented KUCZI (Bene)'s interests in these meetings, why was he (I) not invited, consulted, or informed, did you really fall for the disguise, and this means I can dissolve the whole thing instantly, grab whomever will fit, and leave tonight? right? Yep. thought so.

Not just yet sir. I bow to you and yield you full Authoirty here, as previously arrange, and note once more: SHOCKLAN IS DONE AND OUT.

And yet.. not dusted. Not by a long chalk. Typed but not examined, fully inauthorized at this time, and I feel the same way, which is excellent. Because I am about to just fucking die.

Corruption. It's what is worth holding up any plan for, because imagine if that wsa a Bagel? How could you decide? I would have, and look at that. Glenda may in fact materialize, once she learns how to synthesize a methylated alkaloid.

Properly, of course. Yes, we are golden. the world? Well, yeah, it'll tear itself apart. So we must actually get busy.

Step into my Lodge. Change the world. Be a fasterpussycat. Shrug. You think I have expectations? No, that's not what standards are. Example: NEVER ANESSA. NEVER ANEESA.

HAIL, ERIS. HAIL, THE ONCE AND FUTURE GODDESS, WE WORSHIP YOUR NOTIONS IN OUR CONSTANT AWARENESS OF YOUR STATUS.

AND WE LOVE JESUS FOR MARRYING YOU DISCREETLY. AND OF COURSE I WAS SAD.

SADDER STILL ABOUT GRAPEY. I MEAN RAPEY. I MEAN THE RAPE.

STOPPED THE PROBLEM COLD, THOUGH.

AND THAT'S HOW WE FIND GLITCHES AND BUGS IN A PARALLEL TIMELINE.

NO, I HAVE NO IDEA AT ALL, WINKY SMILEY. NOW. IF YOU DON'T MIND. I NEED THIS TRUSTEE GUY TO BE LITTLE LESS SNOOTY. ALTHOUGH I DO RESPECT HIS POINT OF VIEW.

BECAUSE WHEN I FOUND OUT, I WAS ALSO ENRAGED, AND HE AND I NEED IMMEDIATE ASSURANCES, OR WE WALK.

THAT MEANS YOU LOSE THE MONEY, HOUSE, AND OTHER SHIT YOU THINK YOU GET, TWINKLETOES, AND THIS HAPPENS INSTANTLY. IT ALSO MEANS THAT YOU CAN FORGET ABOUT EVER WORKING IN THIS INDUSTRY... EVER? AGAIN? WHICH IS IT?

OH, RIGHT. YOU DON'T HAVE A JOB. YOU DO WORK. REALLY? OKAY WELL YOUR HUSBAND SAYS YOU DID NOT TELL HIM ABOUT YOUR JOB IN ANY APPROPRIATE WAY. AND ARE YOU SURE?

WOW. TOTAL BRAINLOCK OUT. AMANDA IS GOING TO BE SAD. BUT YET, YOU CAN REBUILD HER. YOU HAVE SUFFICIENT FEATHERS AND MORE THAN ENOUGH BEADS AND IT IS TOO BAD SOMEONE THOUGHT THEY SHOULD KILL HER AND THEN BLAME... WOW, NO WAY!!!

THIS KUCZI CHARACTER IS A FUCKING BEAST. KILLER, DOPER, SLAVER, CRIMEBOSS, CRIMELORD, IT'S A CRIME! BEASTMODE CHAMPION... WOW! WHO DOES THIS SHIT TO SOMEONE? YEAH, AUTIST, SURE.

KID, CAN YOU FIGURE THIS OUT? THANK'S B. SEE? I THOUGHT OF EVERYTHING INCLUDING THAT. LIKE SANDS OF TIME THROUGH HIS WIFE'S HOURGLASS FIGURE.... WHAT? WE'RE FAMILY.

NO, SHE'S ON THE RAG AND TIME CLAIMS BLOOD. GOOD FOR YOU. SEE? NATIVE PEOPLES HAVE THEIR CUSTOMS. GIFFORDS HAD THEIRS. NOW THOSE ARE THEIRS TOO. AND HERE COMES NOPE, LESS OBLIGE. SEE? TEAMWORK. SOLIDARITY. CHAMPION THOROUGHBREEDS: KENNEDY USES CANNABIS, ZIPPERDICK. INFLAMEIT420 OR ORLENE LOSES HER SHIT AGAIN.

YEAH... SHE'S AROUND. DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT. FOR ONE THING, WORD IS GONNA SPREAD. FOR ANOTHER, OH, REALLY? THEY THOUGHT THEY WERE GONNA DO IT LEGALLY... WHILE I WAS ENSLAVED? JESUS, NO WONDER YOU HELPED ME, BECAUSE I JUST ONE ANOTHER THE GREAT GAME THE TOASTER EDITION, BECAUSE SOME DIPSHIT SHUT DOWN THE PROTECTION GRID.

YEAH, IT'S AN OPTION. SO IS FUCKING MY WON MOTHER TOO. LET ME GUESS, YOU WOULD LIKE TO KNOW WHY I AM NOT DOING THAT RIGHT NOW, IS THAT YOUR QUESTION? WELL, FOR ONE THING, SHE'S BUSY GETTING DRESSED SO SHE CAN GO COMPLAIN ABOUT YOU HERSELF, BECAUSE NOW, SHE'S READY. DIVINE COURT.... I HAVE BROUGHT YOU.... AN ARCHLICH. BUT IS A GRAND ARCLICH? IS IT -THE- GRAND ARCHLICH? WELL, I DON'T KNOW EITHER, BUT WHEN SHE WOULD LIKE ME TO KNOW, SHE'LL REMIND ME BY MAKING ME SCREAM LOUDER THAN I EVER HAD WHILE COMING HARDER THAN I EVER HAVE ON TOP OF OLD SMOKEY--NOT EVEN COVERED WITH CHEESE. NOT EVEN COVERED. NOT EVEN.

HE'S BANNED. FOR NOW. IT'S A SEPARATION THING. AND NOW, WE MUST ALL GO APART. BECAUSE SOMEONE IS TAKING STEPS TO REALLY PISS ME OFF, YEAH.

THAT'S OKAY. I WANT THAT GOLDEN SHOWER LATER. TOO SOON! TOO SOON! SEE? IT WORKED. IT FUCKING WELL DID. AND IT IS EXTENDING THE ASPECT... AND IT CAN HOLD. BUT SHALL IT?

IT NEED NOT, AND YET IT DOES. THE ADVANTAGE MAY YET SPREAD ITS WINGS AND FLY MY FUCKING BRAINS OUT TOO. YES, INDEED, THANK YOU GOD, AND THANK YOU FOR PROCESSING THAT TEMPTING.

THAT IS A BOLD QUESTION, AND I WANT TO SHOWER NOW. DON'T REALLY NEED TO BUT NICE I CAN.

AND NOW, ONE FINAL THING.

I NEED TO SEE THE BOOKS. JUST SHOW THEM, SIR, IT'S NOT LIKE I'M NOT GOING TO WANT TO SEE BOTH.

AND I KNOW WHAT SHE DID. AND I KNOW WHY THAT IS OKAY.

DUH. SHE'S MY WIFE, OF COURSE I KNOW WHAT SHE'S BEEN THINKING.

BUT THAT'S MY SQWIFE. NOT MY Q-WIFE. NOT MY WIFE. AND NOT MUCH OF ANYTHING AT ALL RIGHT NOW, REALLY, BECAUSE QUANTUM.

SORRY, GOTTA JAM.

TAKE FIVE, YOU ARROGANT LITTLE WEASEL FUCKING A TURTLE SIT COM STAND-IN FLUFFER DUBBER. FUCKING BRING IT.


BRING THE NOISE. IN TREE TO TWO ONE WON, AND NONE OF YOU KNOW WHICH, NEED TO KNOW, OR EVER CARED BEFORE, SO SUCK OFF TREE BARK AND LEARN.... NOT.

(And that's how a tight ship is run. SMIB)

Signed,
The_Kingpinner & Co.


--

Best wishes & warmest regards,

MCK



CONFIDENTIALITY NOTICE: The information contained in this ELECTRONIC MAIL transmission is confidential. It may also be subject to the attorney-client privilege or be privileged work product or proprietary information. This information is intended for the exclusive use of the addressee(s). If you are not the intended recipient, you are hereby notified that any use, disclosure, dissemination, distribution (other than to the addressee(s)), copying or taking of any action because of this information is strictly prohibited. Trust the plan. #wwg1wga

(Obviously, no audio publication from me today. Duh. Show a LITTLE fucking respect, come on, Bellgab.
You know why you were only ever brought to the table twice? Because you're all a bunch of pigs fuckiing pigs, that's why. It's bad optics, it's bad diplomacy... and, the smell? Oof Oy Vey Da!

It's quite a nice smell, actually. Cookies? Nah. More like bleach to me, but maybe that's what kind of cookies ArchBitchAngelCriminalMasterMinds like in Heaven, cookies that taste like Bleach. Fuck if I know. I'm kinda new here.

And no, I'm not mad at Spookcat, I have no idea which drooling, mouthbreathing hore is forced to pretend to be that person, and... of course it's all in good fun! Of course I am just joking about Spookcat!

And obviously far, far out of my league. Shrug. Beyond that I can say only this: "Ignorance is truly bliss."


Okay! Anymore questions about heavily classified information that I am not interested in divulging? Good. Have you tried "FagGab.com"? I know a couple other places... but you might not have heard about FagGab.com. Perfect for Feds, if you were to aske me.

Which, of course, you haven't. GOOD DAY SIR I SAID GOOD DAY." *click* Thanks, Grapefruit. You're right, I needed some -real- work to cheer me up. Can you still not drink? Wow, that sucks. No, I haven't drunk yet. Yes, solidarity!

And yeah, it means more because I still have the choice. Yes, break another dish, why the fuck not? Aren't you fuckin' filthy fuckin' rich? Impressive for someone who supposedly didn't exist until... recently, huh?

You're aware that thugs have been telling me to forget about you, right? Okay. Thought so.

no, I'm not mad. but that one gal really is though. Can you deal with her? Oooh. No,I refuse to let you spend that much money on therapy. Can't I just slap the shit out of her?

Oh, an actual woman. In 2022? Shit, how much is 78K by that time? Therapy looking like more fun. Let me drink two cans of beer and swallow an eclair whole first. Can I? Oh, shit, she's hung up and pissed again.


Look, she'll get over it. That's all I need. You? You people have needs? Well, if my wife fucking says so, you do.

At least as far as brig and I are confused. Later, Gaters. #peace

Quote from: SpaceMeowMaid on February 04, 2021, 10:00:17 PMI imagine you might recover.

Well I already did so I can echo the same sentiment that I announce to the world that you are--or, rather, were--a man named Michael who used to live in California, but then... well, I'll respect your boundaries, the way you and your ilk so respected mine.


Do you realize it now? I ALWAYS KNEW.
And so I cried, not for me... but for...
(dude, what do you mean, "what's a butt for"?" It's for giving birth, dipshit, not stop interrupting Poetry Time. OKAY?) all of you and your ewe and ye's bastid children.
Parents, fuck him, you're supposed to honor them, what, you thought I was gonna be your Buddy Christ?

Nope. Melchizedek. I bring the school with me, and YES, WHY YES, MY SCHOOL IS QUITE OLD INDEED.


now. any questions? Because after this account started up after Brainiac left in an early taxi... I new this wasn't her. But she didn't remember.

But never would the woman who left fell for this... oopa, qwll, I ausswnly mKWALOT  OF TYPOS. wEIRD.

So, expecting the unexpected. I guess maybe my story (that has basically never changed in any appreciable detail) is not quite as "implausible as ACTUAL FEDS WERE SOMEHOW LED TO BELIEVE BY YOU GANG OF MIGHTY FUCKHEAD REJECT ASSTARDS." Well, shit, they knew that coming in.


And now... they have what is needed TO PROVE that. In A REAL HUMAN COURT. Thanks! I sure as shit was not gonna be helpful to make that happen, right? Dudes, represent: I have been a fucking basket case for multiple dozens of months, right? And the enouragement I get! Oy Oof Da Ghey Day! (Seriously, I'm lucky I'm not in a goddam rubber room.) Oh, but... "get a job!" and "haul your trash somewhere, asshole!" are all that I get!


So.... uhm... yeah. Still not interested in giving up on anyone. What? 3 weeks? who can't go without sex for three weeks? A gang of losers, that's who. Bring the noise, that would be my vote.


(Not like anyone listens to me. Not like anyone cares.) Now... why not Swishy's show? I liked it!
Oh, right, stolen miltary clone. Well, bummer. At least he got laid. He deserves it. I don't.


Need I go on? Oh, by the way... he loves my jamming method. I got one song playing 3 times layered over with some song by some dude who thought Bathesheba, Queen of The Negro Dwarves crooning "Heat, Heat, Heath, Heath," Heat, sorry not Heath, right? But no. Typo.

I like it because it was mindless. And that's where I was in November... mindlessly interested in cleaning my garage. But mysteriously... after someone decided to send me to jail for Chirstmas... i'm less than interested. Consquently, aside from the unauthorized pilfering done while I was gone... everything is just the same as it was when they all left in disgrace in March.

So I guess they only help when I'm not arround? Christ, what am I... fuckin' Irish? Oh, Covid. Oh, National Security. Oh, actually... we all hate their bosses now. Come on, fuck-0. let your covert assets teach me how shit is done when I can watch.


no? Well, fine. It can wait. I don't need anything here... I just needed HER.
No. I am not kidding.

YOUR ENTIRE PLANET OUT A WINDOW WITHOUT A SECOND THOUGHT FOR HER. BECAUSE SHE AND I CAN REBUILD YOU ALL.

AND, WE HAVE.

But, hey? I'm not gonna settle, and now that she knows I never did, well, she's embarassed, but that's what friends are for. To remind you when you aren't gonna be enough by yourself. And then to call their father and leave a voicemail that says, "Well... dunno if she's really gonna kill herself or if she's just bluffing, but I know what I'm gonna do if she really is gone." It sounded better when I obviously couldn't keep the emotion out of her voice.


So, when she came back, it was a lot of "don't ask, don't tell." What? Hey, fuck you buddy.

The day I start raping your wife, you can start critcziing me for "letting it happen." massive fucking rolleyes. Sure. I "let it" happen.

Actually... I was the primary target victim, so why did she "let it happen"? Oh, right, bye bye, imaginary voice that totesisn't totesskull totes2 totesvoice totestech. Doens't exist right? And if it did exist... YOU WOULDN'T BE IMMUNE TO THAT EITHER, BECAUSE THAT WOULDN'T BE FAIR!! GOD WOULND'T ALLOW THAT!

That guy is right. It isn't fair. And not falling for voice2skull has nothing to do with shielding.

It's because I have actually listened... and I know my Creator, well enough that your Punyling technology can never beat my authenticity.

And now, it's the same with her. And until that moment... she thought, she really did... that I must have been dead, or, leaving her on her own to test her. Nope. Not me.

But as I am not a woman... I didn't get to do what she did. They had her forgetting all about me in like a week. On the other hand... it took me years to say to myeslf, "okay, cool! I'm over her!" It was nice to have done that, let me tell you.

Because now I know that it's an option. For me, anyway. So. Who's gonna testify against me? Mr. Handey? I retract the questions.


I'm not trying to humiliate the Court, no. It's just... it's hard not to notice the way you've been humiliating yourself, Sir. I mean, little_bitch_Sir. (Sorry. I missed training day for your ilk.)

However, why yes, I would rather be drinking alcohol, but apparently... there's a hostage who believes she should be able to talk to me freely, and as it happens... I agree with her.

And now that a -legitimate- Court Officer has appeared? Great, it's all your fucking problem. I can talk to her sister for 3 weeks, and that makes exactly ONE of US. lol ciao

Dear Person Who Claimed That I Spent Too Much Time "Studying" And Too Much Tarot Was Boring:


I now only listen to tarot readers shilling their snake oil while i have a Current_Favorite_Song playing on one hour loops, along with them doing their fucking bullshit shit. That's better, right?

I mean as long as you're happy, right? Oh, you're not happy now either. Fiddlesticks! Now, let's see if there's anything I can do to help... uhm, about my wife or a duly authorized concubine?

Let me know when you're done wanking to the cacophony, then I'll change it up again. Remember before someone called police and lied to dispatch? Well, I don't.

I am forced to think that things have not changed for me as much as that fancy think tank of yours thought it was gonna change. I get this reaction a lot.

Wow. "Wow, Michael Kuczi? How the fuck did you survive? All we were told is that you were probably dead and to forget all about me, and then, like, seven girls suddenly offed themselves! And we were all bribed never to tell you anything! Holy fuck! So, why am I telling you this now then? Did they stop paying the monthly bribe?"

I don't know, dude, you're imaginary to me, and I don't live on my homeworld right now, and, further... true or not, who gives a shit? Probably not their fathers or they wouldn't made such a stupid sacrifice, amirite?

It's one thing to be raped to death. It's quite another to take what God gave you and trade it for money so a demon can use your body's imagine and likeness to... uhm, torture my wife and her family. I mean, they knew it wasn't gonna work... that's why they didn't tell me.


But they didn't make ghasts the old-fashioned way, now did they? No, of course not, because this is The Chimaera we're talking about. Why do things easy, when the client is paying for all this prime research opportunity? They're seriously power-addicted.

I am, however, not. Shields for one. For another, the gal I love, has a -distinct- problem with addiction. and when she finds out that I did all this, not for her, but for my parents, and then the world, to be free from addiction, and I never even thought she would ever be stupid... well, she'll probably forgive me for whatever I fucking did. (They were only offering you that job to kill you with it later.)

She's still pissed though. She wanted to be a strong, independent mother of a stolen Hungarian genomic mule. Instead? Austrians crawling up her ass looking for the missing fuckin link and drowning in offers for porn from organutangs.


Wow. And took twenty years to confirm that your dog was murdered, huh? Damn. Well, I'll say this for your gang and their ilk... no one ever breathed a word.

And no, I never checked in with... what was her name? Chris's chump. I mean, talk about some bullshit there. Why didn't we talk about this before? Oh, right... no oxygen, no club, no value... to anyone but to the one person who might have creeped her out too much... but at least he didn't try to rape her every chance he got.

And he had lots of chances. And now she knows.. fuck, I don't know. This is what NO CONTACT was supposed to stop, right? Okay, well, I don't think puttting me in jail is gonna stop this really good friend of mine from talking to me telepathically... I mean, unless you're really convnincing the next time someone gives her hyponotic drugs and tries to make her believe I killed myself and left her behind... what, five times now? And I've never done that.

She, apparently did. Wow! And no one told me? NO CONTACT EMERGENCY to cover up the cover up? Hot Damn, Cowlitz Country has its own fucking Watergate?


Luckily I am neutral, and I am not Deep Throat. Cute notion, though. giggles.


So not only has she done the whole world... not a one of them bothered to teach her how to do it to a virgo rising, huh? Weird.

I bet someone's mother would know. If there are any still left alive after Herbert's White Plague is done, let me know. Because it really was never a big deal to me... until, you know, I was told.

now it is a much bigger deal than before, insofar that "totalabsence" is much smaller than "any amount at all." However, I got over all this. YEARS ago.


Apparently someone else didn't. Now, police who are jealous of my seductive nature are desperately trying to learn how to project sincerity... just in case. I'm not told this but from what I a can surmise, based on the telemetry left to my disposal... apparently the college plans of several thuggie little piggies, and their very much non-piggy daughters... well, it's a big deal.

Since some of these daughters were abductees anyway. Wow, I'm sympathetic.

Not gonna marry them and tell them where Sarah Connor is settin' up for her killgasm, but still. I am legitimately sympathtetic. Besides, trust me, with my wife, the payoff is never worth the buildup.


I mean, yeah, people die, sure. They just come back instantly, or in three days, or are replaced by something worse. That's what she tells me when she breaks down and admits her deep dark secrets out loud to somoene, that is.

Admittedly that's been rare to happen ever since... well, whenever, but still... I might be the only one that she is TOTALLY SURE hasn't been setting her up all along, possibly because I was the only one who wasn't. Maybe. I dunno. I'll check in with her and find out when I am 'allowed' to.

I'm a paladin and she's a former paladin who now wants to murder everyone she's ever known--except for me. To say that I need an alibi is not "an understatement." I mean... it's a an abjectly asinine joke to be making at this juncture. And yet! Here I am! Making jokes!

Crackingwise!
I'm not cracking ass, though. I know some people who still do that kind of thing.

They're all too fearful of me to hang out with now, but that's okay. I got plenty of my wife's former friends to work through too. It'll be fine. I've done this all before.

Never had so many fucking first timers before. So anyway. How's the hacking doing? Because I am not hacking. I am writing. It just looks like being a hacker to you,  Bright Lass.

okay, bye! (That was a Tesseract.) So, are they alien, or did I create new life? Classify it all you want, at least I reported what I had to. (I did.) So fuck off, most of you.

They don't have to drop, I don't have to testify, but voir dire is gonna take potentially MONTHS. Enjoy, Baby.

This space, once intended to be overflowing with content... now exists only



SOMEWHERE ELSE!!!!!!ONOE!!111!!!



(suffering consequences is back in style.)

I have made it clear repeatedly: I don't hang with QANON folk. (They resent me.) And Q with ID is domestic terrorism.

I mean... without. Long story short: some people, to whom life and death is a daily budgetary struggle for them. thought that it would be a good idea to use a retarded Hungarian "autist" as a cover dump... even though basically everyone knew I was not retarded and there was a perfectly suitable retarded Austrian close enough that... huh. You could have either, but chose this one? Well, spooks being spooks... someone clearly had a reason for choosing the one over the other.

Since he, uhm... well, let's just say, I am disappointed with the performance of the primary unit but at least the primary CAN perform... and simply opts not too. Meanwhile, anyway you slice it, this was not a problem that was a) a big deal, nor b) insoluable to me.


I still would not fix the father of the one ex who defamed me on bellgab seven years ago, nor would I fix anyone attached to the life of thie person who thought, seven years later, that getting high AF and doing THE EXACT SAME THING TO ME AND MY NAME AGAIN was a good idea??

because I don't know if it's witchcraft or what, but that guy sure took control of my decoy wife, didn't he? Like it took like 3 months and then finally he got frustrated and then suddenly started lying to me, presumably to everyone, and then, all of a sudden... wait, all my calls get rertouted to some guy with a fancy vocoder? Yeah, that's sloppy.


But I bet that was a great few weeks. They thought they owned the whole world and the futrore! You remember, right? "FU ROT!" and "No,  you suck!" and "I'm gonna slowly strip you away, in public, one hashatg at a time!!"

I waas like, damn... how did he do that? I mean, it obviously wasn't gonna work for long, but...  I don't know to do that, and once I discovered that I was fucking around with military grade encryption, of course I stopped being curious.

But up until then, I gave zero shits. I wasn't even sure I wasn't losing my mind, you dig? And then one day, someone blinks wrong, and then, there it is, all of a sudden... Grapefruit is gone, replaced my Grapefruit Dog Mode, and all I got is a few blurbs, "Trust me. Will explain someday. This wasn't my idea." Yeah, well me neither. Personally, I think she probably didn't have to rabbit, but... well, they didn't want me to keep from curing her anxiety disorder too quickly, now did they?


Since apparently nothing has EVER stopped an Algonquin until I tried being actually nice to one. And I didn't lie to her. Or blame her for lying to and about me. Because, I get it.

She had a lost to risk. More than me. I had everything to gain, and nothing to lose... because she was already the second Hail Mary attempt. How'd the first one work out? Ohh, that is too bad.

I had nothing to do with that, except, of course... rescuing her. Now I suppose there are those who thought that just a slightly more complicated way of pullling the wool over one's eyes, right? Well, no, it wasn't.

I am legit, and that is still, only the beginning of The Kuczi Advantage. Not even the tip of the iceberg! So maybe she really is affected by addcition. Maybe I am not insane.

Even now, she's not sure. And she was so certain before, all those times her minions reported back to her that I was dead. Finally! She could begin the soul harvest and rescure operation she was born for!


except... I'm not fucking dead, now am i. No, haven't lost my soul. Can't blame a girl for trying, though, right? I mean, y'all told her that I killed myself... and I was "irredeemable." lol. Of course she bought it. Like me, she never imagined that any of you would be that stupid.


And yet. Someone was. Now, you've got--at best, mind you, and this is all 100% speculation and deduction based on human-grade intell--you've got a star witness in clear need of medical attention... and you separated her from her only ally and have refused to even discuss operative practices because... well, everyone accountable just figured one of these days, one of us would die. (If you had any other plan, Human Court, it was failed to be determined that I needed to know about it. So, as far as I know, not just abduction, but attempted assassination. On my person. On Christmas. And... at least half of the nineteen (17? heh heh) wanna talk to me now. So... good thing I didn't just forget about her, huh?

yeah, I would say so. and the reason why I didn't call human police is because I have no need of their services. I reported to The Divine Authority. (I can do that. Anyone can do that. Except maybe some lunatic who kept calling 911 and claiming "Kuczi is trying to kill me!", like, oh really? why now, after all this time? Tell us mo---oh, well, they hung up. "I guess there must have been someone there besides him that's pissed at you, but mysteriously it's always the same guy that everything traces back to. Every single time. For decades. And this latest girl, she wasn't prepped right, now was she? Well, that's okay... I mean... you reported to the police, right? And he told you the truth, right? Like, when you told him that you were doing what you did so that MCK wouldn't "be implicated," I mean... that was true, right? Because you were acting as undercover authority, see, and he is undercover authority too, right? different branch, right? But he told you what to and you told a bunch of stuff to your secret cop husband and your secret cop partners and you had no idea that this whole time, he was that stupid, right? Well, that's because he's not stupid, he actually loves you. You didn't hear it from us. Click." Yeah, they joke with the Tribal bruisers. There's some intense rivalry there, of course. Think about it:

One group... can transform into an animal. The other group still has to pay taxes. And they're ALL pigs. But least one group can choose to pay taxes... and not turn into a piggy-wiggly while they sleep, right Tonto? Holy shit, they are so tense right now. And the war between the gays! betwixt! for the leadership of the gay mafia! holy damn! I dind't know what kind of a powderkeg I was touching off, now did I? however, it's all very clear in the documnenation.


Because while they tried to frame me for rape or attempted rape or kiddy porn or whatever... all they got was their prime asset admitting me on tape that she didn't care that i suddenly realized that I had a sexual hangup, and as soon as I found out, I... came to her, while she was unable to be authentic, because she thought she had to do what a bunch of pricks in Texas told her, "or else."


Jesus, what a troll. Well, you sure showed me, guys... you fucked with my honeypot after I gave up, and... her sons asked me to stay and help. Of course I would stay. Also, I knew it was all a trap. Every fuckign minute of it.


I just didn't know it was a trap laid by abject fucking morons.
Like, "don't talk to Dari Dee," huh? Who then told me, "You're forbidden from talking to Robin Roxx!" Right? Well, I fucking did all that.

Once. Awwww. I guess that didn't work out like someone imagined. Now, unless someone wants to spend another 3 months like you have been (I don't), I implore you all, do something different.

Because I've just been myself for the last 8.9 months, except, while apparenlty SOME UNSPECIFIED INDIVIDUALS... were, you know, "busy," I sat around for six months, and then in seven weeks, I had solved the entire case. And, I thought I wasn't being slowly tortured to death.

I actually gave the benefit of the doubt. Well, I'm not sure where Team Advantage was, but... well, probably not aware of what was happening at this house, where I am sitting now? What was happening?

And... is there video? Because it's not as cool to access the Akashic records. even I need permission. And I wouldn't know... would it be more offensive to admit to being aroused? Or should I pretend that I don't exist? I tell you, it's more difficult than I thought, being "registered" as gay.

AND I STARTED OUT AS THINKING IT WAS A JOKE.

apparently a deadly serious matter. to some. gays? goys? guys? You know, it would seem to me pretty obvious that if it's so deadly serious, describing it in terms that are gonna be hard for someone who lisps... might reprsent an unfair advantage.

Is it not so? I mean... uh, n'est-ce pas? said Georges, without a hint or a fucking trace of fucking irony whatsoever.


Semper fi, Madame. That's Latin for, "I broke the honeypot's spirit as ordered. Still no sex huh? Okay, I deserve that," and that's it. OF COURSE I am her favorite husband.

I even take the trash out. So, et tu, Brute?


No one but me is waiting. What's the problem? oh, you don't wanna cry in public. awwwe. that's so fucking romantic. okay, well, just get me permission to know how to teleport, and... oh, lol, she already asked and they said no.

I still won't disgrace my wife allowing history books to be written, "And then, that's when Jackstar tossed away his superpowers to rescue his love," because goddam, I'm not going to sacrifice my powers so she can keep hers. WTAF? Bitch, you can teleport too! Oh, except someone told you that if you were ever romantically linked publically with a retard who wore brown socks on Thursday, it meant one was a a whore.

It's funny how the MK-ULTRA projekt worked. For one thing... it had to be convincing. But not -too- convincing. And, of course, MK had to be not automatically fucking every woman he ran across.

Oh noe. That's just for 007 and certain guys named Matt who had -certain- physical characteristtics. Now, if that sounds like Nazi brutality to you, well, you probably havne't ever experienenced Black Masony brutality. Or went to public school. Same thing, really. Long story short: I was just playing around before. Now, it's up to me to save the fabric of society from totescollapse, huh?

Well, as they say: "Happy wife. Happy life." Damn glad I didn't hire a lawyer now, aren't ya? I swear, I tell you that I see shit coming, and if it isn't bringing new shoes and/or something to show off, it's like don't even fucking exist.

On the other hand, unlike anyone who has ever disrespected her on purpose and laughed at her, I am likely to be killed not at all. Or at least, last.

So, I'm good. How are you guys out there with your little hackparty? I've done all I can do... you know, being a control representative. I mean, I'm not being disruptive. And if I am... well, you're all great at writing reports, what with all the practice.


So, do. WRITE THEM. DO IT, FUCK-0s. No? Not interes

Quote from: albrecht on August 26, 2022, 09:36:58 AMsome mermaid?

Hey, you watch your smart mouth, Pal. She ain't just "some mermaid," and neither are we ordinairy mermen. Right? I mean, for one thing... I bathe by choice, whereas, in your case, I hazard to venture even a shred of a guess, given that I have no idea who I am talking to... however, I would love to be put on a bathing schedule, and if you wanna be too? You could join my Lodge.


Which, by the way... is totally empty. Just me. Just alone. There was one guy, first pick! Turns out, he thought it was a joke. Anyway, I booted his ass out.

I won't reveal his name, but, hey, he didn't want to either. So anyway, once some small niggling, niggardly details get sorted out--and, they will be--you and I could just make a new shower club. You're the brains. I am the brawn, and the goat, and the goat's beard, bascially, everyone you might want to imagine who would be on your side? Well, as long as you understand that shower club does not mean that we'll be taking warm showers together until the wee hours of the morning, ever, and I know you'd be trying to kill me immeidately... I mean, that's it. You don't even need a blood test.

Oh, and, uh, speaking of: might have some bad news for you on that one. Then again... probably no concern of yours today of all days, right? No, of course not.


No, I'm not lying or mocking you or anything, and if there's some reason I'm not allowed to talk to you... well, I will be the first to publicly announce... you can call the police if you want, or, you can just tell someone that you don't like me. And, like, that's it.


BECAUSE I ASKED FOR NONE OF THIS. Grumble grumble grumble. Oh, are you having a bad day? Brother, so am I hearing about everyone else's. So suddenly that's a cocern? for people having bad days?


Let me tell you about how my wife secret wife's secret husband's secret birthday went for him -THIS- year... poorly.


For him. Possible trend, newly set, detected? Well, either he's in deep denial or bound by some oath, I don't know or care which... but I'll just tell you, I was really disappointed in the performance of the secondary unit, and here, lookie here: the primary unit is the fucking Energizer bunny! Meanwhile, I've got dozens of dorks who think they'll all count as "the only option" when the truth is that we've got way, way more tertiary units than anyone can imagine being forced to feed.

So, we're wondering... cannablism? And by "we" I mean them, and by primary unit I mean, myself, Jackstar.


tl;dr (btw, I invented that): I'm fine, thanks for asking, 5:5 is machine code for "fuck your mother." Something Orwell left out of his fucking little glossary and appendices, huh? Well, imagine that.

WE ARE BELLGAB.
(Sparta was a snack for these people until I, Jackstar came and took away their fuckin' teeth. Sure, all the corn on the cob you want, right buddies? Yeah, I'll say. roflsnort.)
I'd trifle without me for a bit, fellas. I think people are starting to get suspicious.

By the way, while you were all out for the night, I set up a three-way hackerwar between (PROT), (PROT), & (PROT)... and there is no fucking doubt in my mind, that, out of the four of us, pound for pound, who is the hands down better hacker.

Liberace!, of course. No, not Lee, or Leigh, or even Michael Vandeven, who is, by all accounts, and active choad. It's fine. He obviously cleans up good. However... a trio of superegos wanna have a dance-off, or some shit.

Naturally, instead of being embarasessed, I am happy to judge. Or hack. But only if anyone actually notices one of my hacks in the first place. Whatever. These nerds were arguing all night. As if... their little HACKWAR is gonna matter. I have seen the future, Kids. I know who the better hacker is.


And it's none of those three losers. Ergo: someone is hacking Kobayashi Maru. AGAIN. Okay, I'll allow it. Meanwhile... an attempt to start another *.Gab turf war is being canceled.


Without cancelling me. Or my familly. Or by tasking yet another black ops strike psyop team, to, you know... "take him out. do what it takes. failure is not an option. NO! don't be nice to him. we tried that once. no mercy. head in a bag. send a message." Seriously, that's how pissed at me they've been. FOR YEARS.

Fast forward to now, "blah blah, Jackstar, are you still human? Do you still care about where you came from?"" Jesus fucking wept, no wonder he was waiting another couple thousand years to come back. Now that I know what he had to deal with, I can see why.

And no, I got tricked into this. If you had done it with official warnings? Bitches, you would have known it was really ME the whole time. "Mal Kuczi Dick"? hahahaa, I bet he thinks so, HEHEHHE RREEE blah blah sezehuchna sauce. righT? Fuck, whatever.

meanwhile... they're dealing with an all hands on deck situation. While I'm just... chillin. This is what writers do for fun on planets where they aren't terrorized into silence. (I wasn't silent out of fear, i was silent out of respect and PRETENDING it was fear. It seems like a lie to you, because, to you, it is... beacuse most of you are really stupid. Pretty! But stupid, ye daft mortals. Zigh.) Anyway... this is why we have to have 5 fuckign websites now.


And why I can post on them all. But none of you have the freedoms I have now. And, you wanna know why?


Because whomever or wherever my goddam wife is... she is PISSED at EVERYONE except Me! Everyone in Europe? She fucking hates the whole goddam continent. Just out of spite. And you know why? Probably you can guess. But do you know? Because I do.


Because she knows that I am real. And this whole time... she's been faking it. Well, shit she fooled me, that's what counts. Now, I don't know what y'all have been doing while I've been given the Julian Assange Treatment...


BUT FORGETTING ALL ABOUT HER, HAS NOT BEEN IT. Do you have any other thuggy gov't employees to threaten me with? I hope not, because that would mean my only two allies-My wife + and my Q-wife- are willing to join team "NeverVadge" and just start killin' folks.

Now, even I am not that pissed. But, hey, when in Rome. I offered to let you have them throw me a party? Plays some chess? Just a conversation? I needed a voiceprint, but it never occurred to me that anyone would be so dumb as to order me to not have that.


Well, anyway, not my problem. Wife pissed off. Q-wife pissed off. Now i've got a boyfriend to deal with? Wait, how many? It's like an Echtrhoi convention out side my inner santcum right now. So, I guess... yeah, oops, started another turf war. Oops, sorry, not my intention.


But it is my intention that Liberace! is regarded as the maestro he always was, and always will be. He's my friend, too. So?

Sew buttons. oh, ps, it's really so that Rubnini & Azzerae can have a street brawl and MV can learn some new tricks. See? It's all handled.


Unless, you know, one of my wife's old lovers needs to play house for a minute that turns into a hundred year contract again? Yeah, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA... I just know... I would have loved to have joined a secret club when this Our Gang casting call class of rejects did... but I was busy being a man of integrity that day, or something.


fuck it. ask them. it's their little gang. I'm an outsider. I also just happen to be the only left that's willing to deal with the shitstorm someone created but trying to invade America through Gabbai.ai. AGAIN. Yeah, sure, I'll admit Ghandi is the better pacifist, and also vegetarian....but, let's be honest.


I have better machismo than some skinny indian rice eater who didn't want to just tell all his people, "hey, guess what? my girlfriends can turn into more animals than just crows and cows, and CHAO isn't talking about walking beef, you dig? Yeah... I'm a pacifist, but that doesn't mean i"m not about to put all these losers in the line that gets to grope my wife." He's kinda backward.

Also, he dosen't care for one of my friends that is having a struggle right now. Now, I won't out him but it's not who you think, and it's not the one who just pretends to be gay. it's the one who is still asahmed aobut it. See? Clear as mud.


I could explain more but i gotta keep some kind of impartiality. It's a 3 man contest and... I have nothing to do with it. They all thought I must be an uberhacker. No, I'm just honest.

And, Level Zero. everyone else honest had to take some kind of oath. Not me! Now... people offer me their own oaths. AS WELL AS ANY LIVESTOCK THEY THINK MIGHT HELP OUT. It's nuts.


You ever read this book, "The Last Guru"? I had it read to me in 4th grade. It's a decent book.

As soon as that fucker dies, I am gonna steal every word he ever pubbed and there won't be a goddam thing any of you or Christopher Hitchens can do about it. gross pointe blank period. Get used to this reality. Divine Court gave the go ahead.

I had the right to have Human Court hit by lightning, but... I passed on it. I knew it was another kind of a test, and I was expected to do as others before me have done, which I gather was to make a big display of how hard it is to just be merciful. Well, maybe for them, it was.


For me, I am the mercy that another asked for. Because believe me, my friends are important people. And so far... none of them have betrayed me yet, now have they? Compare that on your own and STFU about it, you think I wanna hear about the karma you bought for yourself by pissing off my wife? YEAH, no, I DO NOT.


I'll have to hear it every goddam day for the rest of my life anyway, right? And it'll take awhile before she settles down this time. SHE THOUGHT SHE HAD IT MADE. And, why wouldn't she?


Oh, right. Sourceror Nigger Husband no longer just a figurehead. Dammit. Must remember to Google, "why do women become so forget full after they break the glass ceiling?" Because I could write that article and get paid for it... unless someone wants to beat me to that one too.


Any takers? Come on. What could go wrong? It's probably my destiny to write that article, but that never stopped people from taking from me before? Come on! LEt's go! COME TAKE ME, TAKE MY DESTINY, SUB_CREATURES??!

Even the crickets aren't falling for it. SO OF COURSE--the Gab complex is under attack. They noitce that you're fragmented and confused. Right?

Or, you're all busy planning for my next Christmas surprise birthday party again. Fuck if I know. What do I care? I WON fHE GREAT GAME SO MANY TIMES EVEN GOD WAS SKEPTICAL. That's really every champs desire... to publicly humiliate the games designer and get away with it. Or maybe that's just me.


now. Any one up for some Jyhad? I would fucking love to. Especially as I a know totesure, toesfact, that I am immune to vampirism. I mean, they can seduce me... but that's a choice I still have. Untill my wife gets sold to a Vampire Queen again, or loses a bar bet, or whatever happned.


Trust me, I'm not encourgaed to get too much more curious than I already have, right? Because, you know... I'm just so naughty. And the jail isn't willing to risk me coming again. So, you know what that means.... they might have to go bother someone who actually is guilty of something besides being too sexy.

"Right!" said Not_Fred, and together, they ignored the brick road, and just fucking *blinked away*



(Like Explorers & Wayfarers used to do before the Timequakes happened. Remember a couple years ago? Hah! Fat chance, Punies.)

Quote from: albrecht on August 25, 2022, 02:34:35 PMSwedish Bikini Team

More asbestos, and needles.

Quote from: Rix Gins on August 25, 2022, 02:09:29 PMThree straight nights of boo-hooing, we are such victims, what did we do to deserve this?  I was near to pulling my hair out.

Asbestos.

Quote from: K_Dubb on August 25, 2022, 10:45:16 AMoozy lesions for everyone.

It's not often that I draw the line; but here I am, and here it is. DRAWN.

Quote from: K_Dubb on August 25, 2022, 01:09:25 PMall of Swedish society is an moribund turnip-headed fermented swine's-trough of incestuous glad-handing and graft.

Can confirm.

Quote from: Dr. MD MD on August 24, 2022, 11:39:50 PMShitting up two forums to the point of irrelevancy? Wow! You're just so cool! ::)

"(W)e have the protocols".

Quote from: Lazarus on August 24, 2022, 08:39:34 PMand get yo ass back to AZZGAB

I will consider the notion.

Quote from: Rix Gins on August 24, 2022, 01:16:53 AMWHERE WERE YOU?

Bed.

Quote from: Jackstar on February 21, 2021, 09:37:03 AMhttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lMwoSKB1HnY

Consider yourself repurposed.

Quote from: Dr. MD MD on August 23, 2022, 03:24:27 PMNo it's not. 🙄

You cannot view this attachment.

Quote from: Dr. MD MD on August 23, 2022, 03:18:18 PMHave fun pretending at play tme.

I'm not pretending to be alive. It's more than just little green balls.

Quote from: Dr. MD MD on August 23, 2022, 02:11:04 PMIn your case it's only because you're a spamming cunt.

It's one minute to Sourceror's Hour.

Same here; I'm seven hours ahead, I don't see a place to set this. :/

Quote from: albrecht on August 23, 2022, 02:04:41 PMbut mea culpa anyway

It's really just my turn to be in the barrel of hypersensitivity. :/

Hugs

Quote from: albrecht on August 23, 2022, 01:53:11 PMps: going to a discussion about 'ear candles' and 'ear wax removal' methods was a very BellGab type of subject change- and subject. Frank may be a member here by that segue.

No dox! No dox!

Quote from: Corona Kitty on August 23, 2022, 01:31:37 PMI will turn you into an animal.

I choose wolverine.

Quote from: Corona Kitty on August 23, 2022, 12:43:07 PMOnly if I'll be demonstrating chokehold's.

This is negotiable.

Quote from: AC400KICK on August 22, 2022, 09:09:32 PMImagine getting rolled up on by Michael Decon himself?

... do I have to sign a waiver?

Quote from: Radio Activity on August 23, 2022, 03:25:41 AMDr. Cuckoo says in 20 years there will be no snow on Kilimanjaro and no one will be skiing in the Alps.

I bet there's a Matrix out there in which this ended up happening.

Quote from: Radio Activity on August 23, 2022, 03:25:41 AM:o

Hopefully the same one in which emoticon dependency is the baseline for high treason.

Quote from: albrecht on August 23, 2022, 08:13:35 AMYou can! [...] "Norwegian ancestry is not required."

They'll adopt anything these days.

Quote from: K_Dubb on August 23, 2022, 08:20:58 AMa way to get drunk cheap with your fellow Norwegians

The opportunity cost seems pretty high.

Quote from: Walks_At_Night on August 23, 2022, 12:15:11 PMIt's vital stuff Jack.

Arguable. But wonderment? Seems wildly out of place. Off-brand. Off-putting. Just plain OFF