The Pope Quits: Prophecies, reasons, end of the church, etc...

[Falkie2013]

A Pope that claims that he didn't know about the sexual abuse within his church?
The Pope rose up through the ranks of the church to his ultimate post .... and he claims he didn't know?
It's not like the Vatican posted the job, and the night shift manager at the 'Day & Night' applied and got it.
The Pope knew and was complicit ........


End of the church?  Maybe it's time to say goodbye ......

1)  I've always felt that Rose has done his pennance and should be in the HOF unlike the steroid boys who should NEVER get in.


2)  I'm more draconian than most. Were it up to me, rapists, child molesters and drug dealers ( not pot sellers, for that's innocous comparatively to hard drugs ) would be executed on conviction. But then I have personal reasons for feeling that way. My first gf was raped in a parking lot 3 doors down from our apartment. I've known women whose lives were ruined by drugs. And I was molested as a child and hate child molesters and don't feel that there is such a thing as " rehabilitation "


3) While there are many bad priests and pedophiles, I've known many good priests as well who do good work and sincerley care about their parishioners. My oldest friend is a devout Catholic who told me last night that the Vatican is literally broke and cash poor. Full of antiquities and paintings they can't sell. I suggested they rent out St. Peter's Square for public events on days when there isn't a church function going on, though we both drew the line at letting the Rolling Stones or Yoko Ono rent the place. Maybe a big yard sale, too.


4) Here's a commentary from the daily beast on ratzinger. I know it wasn't fair of me but I always equated his name with Ratso Rizzo.


I loved their other headline.


Pope Gives God Three Weeks' Notice


Can G*d sue him for breach of contract ?




Pope Benedict XVI’s Tenure Marred by Human-Rights Failuresby Geoffrey Robertson [/font]Feb 11, 2013 2:15 PM EST[/color]

Ratzinger should have retired when the church’s sex-abuse scandal eruptedâ€"but he continued to protect predator priests, writes Geoffrey Robertson.



The resignation by Joseph Ratzinger, from his office as Pope Benedict XVI, the Vatican Head of State, was merely expedientâ€"he has become too old to cope. (The queen and Rupert Murdoch might usefully follow his example). It would have been both astonishing and courageous, a few years ago, had it been offered in atonement for the atrocity to which he had for 30 years turned a blind eyeâ€"the rape, buggery, and molestation of tens of thousands of small boys in priestly care. Instead of this measure of accountability, he has refused even to change canon law, so as to force all pedophile priests to be defrocked and to require all bishops to hand over the evidence for their crimes to law-enforcement authorities.

The pope’s “command responsibility” for a crime against humanityâ€"as widespread and systematic child abuse surely isâ€"goes back to 1981 when he was appointed Prefect (i.e. Head) of the Congregation for the Doctrine of the Faith (CDF), the Vatican body that is in charge of disciplining errant priests. For the next 24 years, until he became pope, he presided over a system in which the CDF regularly refused to allow bishops to defrock child molesters, and knew of and approved their transfer to other parishes and often to other countries, where they usually re-offended. Although the CDF files are a closely guarded secret, letters from Cardinal Ratzinger have emerged in several U.S. court cases, always protective of rapist priests. [/font]

The case of Father Lawrence Murphy, for example, who molested  200 deaf boys at a Catholic school in Wisconsin, (the subject ofMea Maxima Culpa, which began airing last week on HBO) led to anxious communication between local church officials and Ratzinger, who emphasized “the need for secrecy” because he was worried about “increasing scandal.” Although he knew Murphy to be guilty, the cardinal ordered the secret proceedings to end so that the guilty priest could die a respected member of his brotherhood.



Father Stephen Kiesle, convicted of tying up and sexually assaulting boys, was at Ratzinger’s insistence (and against the wishes of his bishop) kept in holy orders and allowed to continue working with children whom he duly abused. Ratzinger had claimed that “the good of the Universal Church” justified its continued cover-up of the abuse and its continued employment of the abuser.

As father Hans Kung, the eminent theologian, put it in his open letter to Catholic bishops in 2010, “there is no denying the fact that the worldwide system of covering up cases of sexual crimes committed by clerics was engineered by the CDF under Cardinal Ratzinger.”

Ratzinger’s policy at the CDF had always been to keep child abuse secret, even though that meant forgiving the offender. The worse case was that of Father Maciel, a bigamist, pederast, and drug-taker who raped his own children but had become a close friend of John Paul II and in 2004 was invited to Rome for a papal blessing.  Ratzinger was in possession of all the evidence about Maciel’s regular debauchery with his young novitiates, but refused to act. Even after he became pope, Ratzinger refused to defrock this monster priest or provide the evidence against him to the police. Instead, he merely “invited” Maciel to retire and lead a quiet life in the U.S., away from media attention.

Ratzinger undoubtedly loathes such men, but he was always the ostrich pope, the academic who kept his head in the sand until the storm hitâ€"in Boston (2002), Ireland (2009), and now all over the Catholic world.

Pope Benedict’s Vatican has been an enemy of human rights.


The fiction that this religious enclave is a “state” (its “statehood” cobbled together in a squalid deal in 1929 between Mussolini and Pius XI) enables it to appear at U.N. conferences and to veto initiatives for family planning, contraception, or any form of “gender equality.”


  Benedict himself has decried homosexuality as “evil.”


He ruled that women have no right to choose, even to avoid pregnancies that result from rape or incest; IVF is wrong (because it begins with masturbation); condom use, even to avoid HIV/AIDS within marriage, must never be countenanced.



Ratzinger himself began the Vatican’s attack on the U.N. in 1998 because its “new world order” envisaged population reduction, what he termed the sinister “ideology of women’s empowerment.”


There is no denying that the Vatican has been a force in international affairs, rallying the Catholic countries of Latin America to make common cause on moral issues with Islamist states like Libya and Iranâ€"for example, to veto the U.N.’s projected “right to sexual health.”

Pope Benedict’s Vatican has been an enemy of human rights.[/color][/font]

As for international justice, Ratzinger has been its sworn enemy.

When the U.K. dared to detain Augusto Pinochet, he went public and passionately defended the old torturer’s right to return to Chile.

He refused to sign up to the International Criminal Court, and has helped Robert Mugabe and his shopaholic wife to avoid EU travel bans by inviting them to travel to the Vatican, which is not an EU member (and cannot join because it is not a democracy).

As head of a stateâ€"even such a make-believe state as the Vaticanâ€"Joseph Ratzinger has absolute immunity from legal action.

But as ex-king Farouk famously discovered (when a court ordered him to pay for apparel acquired when he was king), this immunity is not the same after you retire.

There are many victims of priests permitted to stay in holy orders by Cardinal Ratzinger after their propensity to molest was known, and they would like to sue him for damages for negligence. If he chooses a retirement home outside the Vatican, the local court may decide that they have a case.

[Falkie2013]

Is that the very first filmed Star Wars, or the "pre-quel" episodes....Ahhhhhh, nevermind.   

Priests never concerned me nor did any try to molest me.


Now those nuns with their dangerous yardsticks which they used at any opportunity, they scared the hell out of me.

[Yorkshire pud]

As for the wiki entry on your town/city, wikipedia is not always correct. I was surprised to see so many cities being built on hills. Was that for defense in ancient times and it carried over to more recent times ? I would have thought more cities would have built near rivers, lakes etc.

Well Sheffield in Yorkshire England grew to a largish city because of it's proximity to free flowing water, nearby Derbyshire (where mill stones were cut), and it's history in making steel. Stainless steel was invented and developed into what we use now, in Sheffield. At one time Sheffield made most of the steel used Iain the world, going into ship building, weaponry, industrial plants, engineering, manufacture of pretty much anything made in steel. The fact it was on seven hills in this case was incidental; I can vouch for how easy it isn't cycling up the damn things though!

And for those who believe in things as a matter of faith NOT engaging in critical thought, I think that's a crock.

Really, why? You're of the persuasion in believing something will happen/not happen based on just that, belief? Rather than logical thinking based on evidence, experience, intelligence, learning, common sense and fact?

Mom dragged me to temple.

Wouldn't that be a synagogue?

I was confused as hell by it all when I was younger. But 2 nde experiences of my own and my seeing my Father's ghost and other paranormal things led me to believe that there is something AFTER this life and its not too far a step to believe in a creator of it all. If there's no creator and no heaven and hell, we all turn into something like soap or goo if you're not embalmed as happened to one of our cats who got run over. Without a creator, the purpose of life becomes something meaningless and we all are no better than ( presumably ) soulless animals.

How do you define soul? If you mean a sense of belonging to a species, empathy and compassion for the fellow human, I don't need an unseen deity to know I have that.

Though I do believe that our normal pets ( dogs, cats and maybe birds ) are put here for us as some kind of higher purpose. I draw the line at things like alligators ( which have been found locally at 2 drug dealers ), bugs, snakes and who knows what else.

Why do you draw that line with creatures you don't like? Is this deity a discriminating one? You need to remember that a third of our food is directly related to bees. Other insects to a lesser or greater degree help with our food production directly; and certainly contribute via the food chain..So eliminating the living things you don't like would result in starvation of humans within months.

[Sardondi]

For cosmological questions there is a point at which there is an irreducible minimum of material proof. That point at which things are simply incapable of proof is indistinguishable from - and can only be called - "faith". Even the most pleasantly wry of the Goulds, the most elegant of the Kakus, the most dismissive of the Hitchenses or the most antagonistic of the Dawkinses have it: they just have difficulty admitting it.

[onan]

For cosmological questions there is a point at which there is an irreducible minimum of material proof. That point at which things are simply incapable of proof is indistinguishable from - and can only be called - "faith". Even the most pleasantly wry of the Goulds, the most elegant of the Kakus, the most dismissive of the Hitchenses or the most antagonistic of the Dawkinses have it: they just have difficulty admitting it.

Of course, I agree. where the hair is split is faith isn't a stopping point. I have faith that my wife will always be with me. It is irrational and I do know better, none-the-less I operate from that belief. I also know my understanding of the universe being infinite is matter of fact, although in reality I cannot prove it. So it is with faith I trudge onward. What I don't do is place faith above empirical science. Conceding a placebo effect does not deter from proven benefits from vaccinations as opposed to faith will heal me from polio. What I don't do is rely on scripture alone to dictate what is decent treatment of my fellow human. What I try very hard not to do is look down my nose because someone believes differently. That being said, I won't concede religion and faith are as viable for learning as science.

[Juan]

What I try very hard not to do is look down my nose because someone believes differently.

You do this rather well.

[Sardondi]

You do this rather well.

Let me speak in onan's defense here. While I think he has fallen astray and has been misled by the forces of intellectual darkness, he's not a totally lost cause. I think he makes a real effort not to be personally offensive. Which is refreshing. Now, of course, I may have ruined it for him in the leftist covens where George Soros and Rahm Emanuel give them their weekly orders for infiltration and diffusion of propaganda. I hope they don't take him away to Re-Education Camp.

[Juan]

Oh, the perils of the internet.  I was being serious. I respect Onan for having and expressing his facts and beliefs without the name calling and snark used by others.  I always enjoy Onan's posts - if you pay attention, they make you think.

[b_dubb]

I don't know how Catholics can continue given the evils perpetrated by priests. The sexual molestation of children and (perhaps more so) how the organization acted to protect sexual predator priests while putting children in jeopardy. It's indefensible.

[Caruthers612]

I think somatic is right. Rachael...[snip]...Okay, I know: all that for just a little payoff. Sorry. I'm going to bed.

               On the contrary, Big S, you've once again illumined a point with the sort of visionary bacchanal that makes my nipples sing. <sigh> Would that I were younger and a woman...

[Falkie2013]

Well Sheffield in Yorkshire England grew to a largish city because of it's proximity to free flowing water, nearby Derbyshire (where mill stones were cut), and it's history in making steel. Stainless steel was invented and developed into what we use now, in Sheffield. At one time Sheffield made most of the steel used Iain the world, going into ship building, weaponry, industrial plants, engineering, manufacture of pretty much anything made in steel. The fact it was on seven hills in this case was incidental; I can vouch for how easy it isn't cycling up the damn things though!

 
Really, why? You're of the persuasion in believing something will happen/not happen based on just that, belief? Rather than logical thinking based on evidence, experience, intelligence, learning, common sense and fact?
Wouldn't that be a synagogue?
 
How do you define soul? If you mean a sense of belonging to a species, empathy and compassion for the fellow human, I don't need an unseen deity to know I have that.

 
Why do you draw that line with creatures you don't like? Is this deity a discriminating one? You need to remember that a third of our food is directly related to bees. Other insects to a lesser or greater degree help with our food production directly; and certainly contribute via the food chain..So eliminating the living things you don't like would result in starvation of humans within months.

Jews refer to synagogues as temples and even shuls which is yiddish and originally was the latin root word for shul.


I draw the line because I don't think many animals and creatures can approach sentience and self awareness, though there may be certain exceptions.


Our souls are given to us by Adonai with our first breath. They stay with us throughout our lives and leave our bodies at death. Don't ask me where they go after that though I feel we live on somehow as a spirit of some kind, and not neccessarily also a ghost. Then we move on to some other level.


Faith is something all of us deal with every day on an unconscious level. We take many things as an axiom because we have faith that what has happened for years will continue to happen.


Like the sun rising  in the morning, the Earth's rotation, the air we breathe. Its a sort of faith in that we never think about it and accept it.


I was raised in 2 religious traditions. I could not accept the negative and punitive aspects of Catholicism. That's why I didn't become a Catholic. I also disagree with some of the tenets of my own religion. I feel that some aspects of Reform Judaism have strayed too far from what it means to be a Jew in an effort to outreach to non observant Jews. Many Jews no longer worship at temple. I go when I feel up to it but hated being forced to because if I didn't I was going to be punished by the Lord or somesuch. I eat things that other Jews would never eat, like lobster, crab, pork and shrimp. I'd never eat eel or octopus because they're yucky nor catfish because its supposed be traife and I tried a small bit of fried catfish once and thought it was terrible. I eat matzoh during passover and not because I love eating matzoh with jam and butter. Even my gf loves egg matzohs, though I know they're not kosher for passover, I eat them once its done. I can't stand gefilte fish but eat horseradish and wasabi. I'm sure sephardic Jews don't eat many things that askenasi Jews do.


From wiki answers :



Reform Jews "can" eat pork, shellfish and other non-kosher foods if they "choose" to.  So, some do and some don't. 

If you're inviting someone who's Jewish to dinner, it's usually best to ask whether they observe kosher dietary laws.  there's a whole bunch of things that are considered un-kosher...

pork
shellfish - shrimp, clams, oysters, lobster, crab, etc.
eel
octopus
any predatory birds like hawks, or similar
serving meat with milk products - i.e. cheeseburgers, creamed chipped beef, beef, or lamb with cream sauces or even served "with" anything containing milk or dairy products like yogurt, or cheese.
A realy unusual one used to be Oreo cookies...they weren't kosher because the cream in the middle was made with lard (beef fat)  The Nabisco company has since changed the formula for the cream middle and made them kosher.

Only during the Passover season: both Ashkenazi and Sephardic Jews don't eat leavened breads.   Ashkenazi Jews cannot eat things like rice, beans, or other grains or things that are made from grains (i.e. anything made with high-fructose corn syrup, like Coke & Pepsi).  Sephardic Jews are allowed to eat foods made from grains during Passover. Source(s):
I'm Reform Jewish.

[Falkie2013]

It wasn't Rome, but ...




www.youtube.com/watch?v=36MEsWC1Pzc












     




Hundreds reportedly injured by blasts as meteor falls in Russia

Published February 15, 2013

Associated Press

A meteor streaked across the sky above Russia's Ural Mountains on Friday morning, causing sharp explosions and injuring more than 500 people, many of them hurt by broken glass.

"There was panic. People had no idea what was happening. Everyone was going around to people's houses to check if they were OK," said Sergey Hametov, a resident of Chelyabinsk, about 930 miles east of Moscow, the biggest city in the affected region.

"We saw a big burst of light then went outside to see what it was and we heard a really loud thundering sound," he told The Associated Press by telephone.

Another Chelyabinsk resident, Valya Kazakov, said some elderly women in his neighborhood started crying out that the world was ending.

Some meteorites -- fragments of the meteor -- fell in a reservoir outside the town of Cherbakul, the regional governor's office said, according to the ITAR-Tass news agency. It was not immediately clear if any people were struck by fragments.

Meteors typically cause sizeable sonic booms when they enter the atmosphere because they are traveling much faster than the speed of sound. Injuries on the scale reported Friday, however, are extraordinarily rare.

The Emergency Ministry said more than 500 people sought treatment after the blasts and that 34 of them were hospitalized. Many of the injuries were from glass broken by the explosions.
Kolesnikov also said about 6000 square feet of a roof at a zinc factory had collapsed.


There was no immediate clarification of whether the collapse was caused by meteorites or by a shock wave from one of the explosions.

Reports conflicted on what exactly happened in the clear skies.


A spokeswoman for the Emergency Ministry, Irina Rossius, told The Associated Press that there was a meteor shower, but another ministry spokeswoman, Elena Smirnikh, was quoted by the Interfax news agency as saying it was a single meteor.



Amateur video broadcast on Russian television showed an object speeding across the sky about 9:20 a.m. local time, leaving a thick white contrail and an intense flash.

Russian news reports noted that the meteor hit less than a day before the asteroid 2012 DA14 is to make the closest recorded pass of an asteroid -- about 17,150 miles.

But the European Space Agency, in a post on its Twitter account, said its experts had determined there was no connection.

Small pieces of space debris -- usually parts of comets or asteroids -- that are on a collision course with the Earth are called meteoroids.


When meteoroids enter the Earth's atmosphere they are called meteors.


Most meteors burn up in the atmosphere, but if they survive the frictional heating and strike the surface of the Earth they are called meteorites.

The dramatic events prompted an array of reactions from prominent Russian political figures.


Prime Minister Dmitry Medvedev, speaking at an economic forum in the Siberian city of Krasnoyarsk, said the meteor could be a symbol for the forum, showing that "not only the economy is vulnerable, but the whole planet."

Vladimir Zhirinovsky, the nationalist leader noted for vehement statements, said "It's not meteors falling, it's the test of a new weapon by the Americans," the RIA Novosti news agency reported.

[attachment deleted by admin]

[Yorkshire pud]

Excuse me for appearing rude:


But what the fuck has a meteor shower over Russia got to do with the Pope?

[Falkie2013]

Obviously you hadn't been paying attention to the previous threads in this post.


Supposedly a meteor is supposed to destroy Rome after the next Pope is elected.


Some are already assuming that this meteor is an offshoot of the meteor that will be near Earth in Saturday.

[Yorkshire pud]

Obviously you hadn't been paying attention to the previous threads in this post.

Yes I have. But this is Russia..many many miles from Italy.

Supposedly a meteor is supposed to destroy Rome after the next Pope is elected.

Really? Well, this one is too early and too far off target too have any meaningful relevance.

Some are already assuming that this meteor is an offshoot of the meteor that will be near Earth in Saturday.

Some are assuming? We get meteors regularly, the asteroid that will come into proximity with the Earth this weekend will wizz past us and go on it's merry way.

[onan]

So when a meteor doesn't destroy Rome in the next 10 years... then what? Will someone parse it to meteor really means a plague, a war, financial collapse? If this is the best god's PR men can do... well it is time for a new god... I ain't busy at the moment.

[Yorkshire pud]

So when a meteor doesn't destroy Rome in the next 10 years... then what? Will someone parse it to meteor really means a plague, a war, financial collapse? If this is the best god's PR men can do... well it is time for a new god... I ain't busy at the moment.

Well you get my secondment if you want to stand; I won't however be a disciple, I'm sorry, but I just won't.

[Sardondi]

Excuse me for appearing rude:   
But what the fuck has a meteor shower over Russia got to do with the Pope?

Old Testament, real wrath of God type stuff. Fire and brimstone coming down from the skies. Rivers and seas boiling. Forty years of darkness, earthquakes, volcanoes. The dead rising from the grave. Human sacrifice. Dogs and cats, living together...

[Yorkshire pud]

Old Testament, real wrath of God type stuff. Fire and brimstone coming down from the skies. Rivers and seas boiling. Forty years of darkness, earthquakes, volcanoes. The dead rising from the grave. Human sacrifice. Dogs and cats, living together...

Oh that!!! Well why didn't he say? It's still a hell of a way from Rome where this meteor overshot. It's a lovely albeit chilly day here today.  So on balance the apocalypse hasn't happened in my neck of the woods.

[McPhallus]

Only during the Passover season: both Ashkenazi and Sephardic Jews don't eat leavened breads.   Ashkenazi Jews cannot eat things like rice, beans, or other grains or things that are made from grains (i.e. anything made with high-fructose corn syrup, like Coke & Pepsi).  Sephardic Jews are allowed to eat foods made from grains during Passover. Source(s):
I'm Reform Jewish.

Dietary restrictions based on religion are so silly.

[Eddie Coyle]

Yes I have. But this is Russia..many many miles from Italy.

         Yes, Russia was hit by the falling meteorite. Russia was ruled by the House of Romanov! There's the connection. Open your eyes, you Philistines!

         We be up shit creek without a paddle.

[Yorkshire pud]

         Yes, Russia was hit by the falling meteorite. Russia was ruled by the House of Romanov! There's the connection. Open your eyes, you Philistines!

         We be up shit creek without a paddle.

It pains me to mention that the asteroid (that without looking I'm sure many Youtube videos were posted to say would be our destruction), passed by us at about 7.25 GMT...Shit, I stood there trying to see it, but the bloody thing wasn't playing ball. Didn't it know it had prophecies to fulfill? Useless bloody piece of cosmic detritus...waste of space.

[Usagi]

         Yes, Russia was hit by the falling meteorite. Russia was ruled by the House of Romanov! There's the connection. Open your eyes, you Philistines!

         We be up shit creek without a paddle.

And Muscovy likes to fancy itself the Third Rome.

Yup, we're screwed.

--

Any favored sacrifices, onan?  Goats? Virgins? 10% tithe?  Or are you a more chill bowl of fruit and incense sort of guy?

[Elflord]

 Hello my fellow coastgabbers, fans of Elflord and the haters of the Mighty Elflord. How is everyone doing today? I am fine today. Here is my two cents about the Pope. He is just plain old to be the Pope. Should George be the Pope? No way. Will it be different if the Pope is George Noory? Yes it will be different. If you ask me on who should be the Pope? It will be the Mighty Fort Rock. Here is the reason why. Fort Rock is a good guy. Fort Rock can send in his army in to kick Satan’s Butt. After Fort Rock and his mighty army kicks Satan’s butt, He could help to defeat George Noory’s army at Premrat and help to bring the mighty radio god back to the air. The mighty radio god is (The Real Art Bell). If you out there in the mighty CoastGabberland have a better idea, please send in your two cents.
Fort Rock when you become the Mighty Pope, who will be your vice-pope? BTW Fort Rock, you’re a good guy.

[CrabbyOld Bat]

Dietary restrictions based on religion are so silly.

It's even sillier when a forbidden food is suddenly okay to eat. I attended Catholic school and remember being taught it was a sin to eat meat on Friday. The way I understood it, that was part of God's law. Now it's no longer a sin. I'm not sure when God changed the rules because I broke free from Catholicism many years ago and didn't get the memo.   

[MV/Liberace!]

Old Testament, real wrath of God type stuff. Fire and brimstone coming down from the skies. Rivers and seas boiling. Forty years of darkness, earthquakes, volcanoes. The dead rising from the grave. Human sacrifice. Dogs and cats, living together...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O3ZOKDmorj0

[Falkie2013]

see below

[attachment deleted by admin]

[Elflord]

Here is my pick for the pope. Darth Pope

[Sardondi]

Old Testament, real wrath of God type stuff. Fire and brimstone coming down from the skies. Rivers and seas boiling. Forty years of darkness, earthquakes, volcanoes. The dead rising from the grave. Human sacrifice. Dogs and cats, living together...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O3ZOKDmorj0

[Falkie2013]

Here is my pick for the pope. Darth Pope

Here's what the Onion had on this. Funny stuff.


Poll: 99% Of Human Beings Would Prefer Big, Slobbery Hound Dog Pope
News in Brief •  religion • pope • News  • ISSUE 49•10 •  Mar 5, 2013   

WASHINGTONâ€"Ahead of the College of Cardinals’ upcoming conclave to select a new pope, a Gallup poll conducted this week found that 99 percent of the global population would prefer that the next head of the Roman Catholic Church be a large, slobbery hound dog with big, saggy jowls. “When presented with a variety of options, respondents across all demographics were nearly unanimous in voicing their preference that Vatican ceremonies, including Easter and Christmas masses, be presided over by a droopy-eyed basset hound with a big, tall pope hat sitting atop his floppy ol’ ears,” said pollster Diane Warnell, who noted that well over 9 out of 10 of those surveyed, including Catholics, expressed a strong desire to see a ceremonially clad dog pontiff roll around on his back in St. Peter’s Basilica, bark to a large crowd of worshippers from a Vatican balcony, or place his front paws up on a table and steal a ham sandwich right off of someone’s plate. “The remaining 1 percent of respondents, however, said they would be open to a hound dog pope if the big guy tuckered himself out after a day of sniffing and chasing and took a doggy nap right there on the altar.” According to numerous reports and allegations, the only hound dog in contention for pope, Cardinal Bruiser, is believed to have sniffed the genitals of at least 32 minors