BellGab.com Archive

And Ed Dames tonight......

We were treated to a Noory joke on Tuesday with Faust Ruggiero discussing anxiety and depression. In the middle of serious comments and description of severe OCD and how it wrecks sufferers' lives, Joorch offers this.
"I have a friend who does counseling. He told me he holds group meetings for OCD sufferers. I asked him what happens in the sessions. He said 'Not much, but we meet ten times a day.' "
He follows with an odd, adenoidal half-giggle and, in the absence of gales of laughter from Faust, added 'You can use that any time you like.'

On the same subject, he later offered his own issue.
"I can't stand a burned-out light bulb. If one goes out in the house, I have to replace it immediately, so I always make sure there are back-up bulbs in the house. Is that a hang-up?"
Sounding very disinterested, Faust assured him it was. Joorch ploughed on. If he drives past a store at night and an illuminated letter in the store's name is out, he gets very upset. To the extent that he thinks the manager should be fired. "To me, it's sloppy," he said, and added that he likes everything to be done the way it should be done, and like things done properly.
An insight into the way Joorch might run things at Coast? Certainly ironic, I thought, coming from a talk-show host who has never managed to master the basic tools of his trade after decades on the job. You know, talking, listening, exchanging views beyond the same rote questions and 3x5 cards, reading copy, extemporising etc etc.

Mar-a-Lago is the new February.
After his thee successive nights calling it 'Marga Lago', he has now resorted to 'the former President's Florida estate' / 'his Florida home', etc.
Maybe he's reading these pages again?

Meanwhile, he closed out last night with The Tell-Tale Heart yet again.

The hat-trick! Third night in a row...

"Marga Lago"

And just for fun, he said it twice! 

"Later tonight, ghost crimes. Get ready to pull the blanket up over you."

And, for the second night running....
"Marga Lago"

"Marg-A-Largo"

Apologies to Albrecht for repeating the Jetsons tale (tail). Read thread before posting!

Joorch informed guest last night that he would like to interview Jeff Bezos. "And you know what one of my first questions to him would be?"
Guest does not know this.
Joorch wonders if guest knows that Bezos started out selling books out of his garage? Guest does know this.
Joorch produces his dramatic, probing question.
"I would ask him if, when he started out, he had any idea what it was going to grow into."

Does he really imagine that everyone who ever met/interviewed Bezos has not asked that question?

Mention of the future leads Noory of course to The Jetsons. No flying cars, surprisingly. This time it's flat screen TVs hanging on walls that has boggled Jorch's tiny.
Then, apropos of nothing, he asks the name of the Jetsons' dog. Guest can't remember.
"It's in the song", prompts Joorch. "Sing the song."
"Meet George Jetson", begins the guest.
"Elroy!" declares Joorch. "The dog was called Elroy!"
"No", says guest. "Elroy was the son. 'Meet George Jetson, his son Elroy...' "
"You're right! Now I don't know the name of the dog!"
Luckily, the guest was able to pluck Astro from the memory banks, and we were able to move on from this pointless and irrelevant exchange.

GNS

"....raised to pre-prandemic levels..."

Quote from: aldousburbank on August 04, 2022, 11:14:18 PMI just heard George's intro on my local station. I'm pretty sure that it's not my imagination that George was sounding extra glitchy tonight. I haven't listened for some time so maybe this is his normal. He sounded almost like he's been taking enunciation lessons from sleepy joe.

I've felt for a while that since getting ragged on here for his sloppy enunciation in his intro ("near the Pacifuh kohshun", "acrossuh nation, arounda world), he's been extra careful with it. 
And then it all goes to hell thereafter. 
Also his 'somewhat forked tongue' seems more to the fore: 'th' for 't'.

Is it true? Are we back?? We are!!!!
Hallelujahs and Praise MVs!!!!!!

And how appropriate as I was woken from ear-piece slumbers this night by our favorite jackass playing the dumb tape of the old lady being up the guy with her handbag for the umpteenth thousandth time. 
"That laugh is infectious. To be sure," opines Noory. 
No, Joorch. Fake and deeply annoying. Like you. 

George Noory will never not suck. 

Quote from: Uncle Duke on August 01, 2020, 08:16:01 AM
Irony of ironies....Christian Wilde accusing anyone, in this case politicians, of practicing medicine without a licence.

Are you listening, Doc Wallet, veterinarian?

Ian would at least have read the book.

Noory still banging on. “If I guess the name, will you tell me if it’s right?” The guest says no. “If I get it wrong, will you tell me?” Guest says no, it would be unprofessional. Then he says, “I’ll make a deal with you. I was given your home address to send the book to. Can I give that out?” “Absolutely not!” Snaps Noory. Boom!

George being a complete dick about it. The guest has said his name begins with R. “So it could be Robert?” Says Noory, “It could be.”
The guest has allowed himself to be pushed further than he should, revealing he worked at NASA.
Back comes Noory later. “So it could be Richard, or Reginald.....” like your annoying 8 year old nephew. Yes, Joorch, or any other name beginning with R. Really being annoying, not to say unprofessional.

Joorch reported last night that a new viral disease has broken out in some place called ‘Cats-a-scan’. Not a one-off slip, either: he said it three times. On came Jerome Corsi to confirm this. He is calling it Covid 20, and locates it in ‘Kazakastan’.
It would be like waiting for the infinite number of monkeys before these two would finally arrive in Kazakhstan.

Joorch last night: “In 2001, when A Space Odyssey came out.....”

Joorch is not even waiting for ‘dear friends’ of the show to pop their clogs as an excuse to skip out early while he puts on one of his so-called tributes. He slung an old tape of him and Uri Geller on in the last half hour last night for no apparent reason in the name of avoiding callers and an early turkey sammidge.

He’s back!! ‘hydro-chloro-kwy-nine’. Or hydroxychloroquine as the rest of us know it.

-GNS for at least another week.

Quote from: albrecht on June 11, 2020, 02:57:29 PM
Norry's garbled attempt explanation and definition of socialism was hilarious, especially because Norry 'doesn't do politics' but has D'Souza on.     I like D'Souza but it is funny how Norry still proclaims the show 'doesn't do politics' and then has Corsi on so often and shills for Newsmax. I guess he figures having the blowhard Bloom on so often it 'balances out?'

It’s been a noticeable uptick recently. As you say, the promotion of Newsmax - he had the owner on briefly the other night - and giving Stone two hours to whitewash himself unchallenged; David Horowitz the same to spout right wing propaganda unchecked (including a gratuitous attack on homosexuality); Corsi the first hour for his latest crackpot conspiracy theory and now the moronic D’Souza two hours for his drivel. In the same way that the frustratingly inarticulate John Curtis gets a free pass while Howard Bloom always comes with a health warning because ‘I gotta tell you
folks’ he’s, gasp, a Liberal. Wearing his heart on his sleeve lately while still claiming ‘We don’t do politics’.

Who’s gaslighting whom here? Joorch says he ‘assigned’ Christian Wilde to research his constantly asserted, evidence-free ‘belief’ that the coronavirus was manufactured in a lab in Wuhan. The faithful lackey reports that his master was right! Joorch takes a victory lap!! But hold on a moment. What was that that Wilde quoted the guy he spoke to as saying? ‘All the weight of evidence points to natural (origin for the virus), but we’re watching it closely.’ Or to put it another way: all the evidence says you were wrong, Noory, so sit down and shut up.

Quote from: nooryisawesome on June 09, 2020, 10:29:34 PM
https://www.gishgallop.com/study-coast-2-coast-am-listeners-fall-asleep-in-the-first-hour/

Prerecorded answers  when George nods off. Parody but accurate.

Hahaha! That’s great. And it may be a parody, but it’s true. If I wake in the night and struggle to get back to sleep, an earbud and Joorch always does the trick for me.

Uh-oh! Joorch and Tommee are running out of Submerging Artists. Tom just made an on-air appeal for more.

Quote from: Morgus on June 06, 2020, 03:49:42 PM
The latest from Major Ed Dames:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TJetCdvTTPY

Astonishingly inarticulate, isn’t he? And nothing to say worth hearing: a succession of cable news talking-points, truisms and platitudes.

Quote from: ItsOver on May 28, 2020, 05:53:00 AM
Jorch's declaration of one of his fave foods. 

Turkey sammidges and pizza rolls are in mourning.

Gnoory was the handle, I think. Had a period when he posted quite a lot. I remember being shocked that quite a few here were being nice to him. He was also seen to be lurking quite a bit. It was at the height of his rants about haters and rat-eating basement-dwellers. He hasn’t posted in years, and I don’t think he’s paying much attention to us anymore.

Quote from: Uncle Duke on May 27, 2020, 06:11:02 PM
That assumes all viruses are fatal, and once you've had a virus you can't get it again.  Neither are true.  As the immunologist in the medical paper explained, the idea is for the vaccinated to not only be immune, but also to cut down on the exposure by those who have not been vaccinated.   Herd immunity comes when there is no one left to spread the virus.

It depends on the virus, surely. I had measles (and chickenpox, mumps and whooping cough when these were just regarded as common or garden childhood illnesses) as a boy and have natural immunity because (so far) the measles virus never mutates. This is also why measles vaccines are effective.
The reason cold and flu viruses are so successful is that they always mutate, and the reason flu vaccines are only moderately successful is that this year’s vaccine is based on last year’s virus: this year’s virus may not be impressed.
Because this feller is new, we don’t know what it’s going to do next. We should assume it will mutate, because that’s what coronaviruses do. And if it does, we won’t know until we get there whether this was just the warm-up. In 1918, it was the second wave that really did the damage. This might get worse or mutate into a milder form (for now), or just hang around for a bit and go away. It calls the shots: we can only wait, watch and arm ourselves with as much understanding of the virus as we can muster to prepare for it.

‘hydroxy (pause) chloroe-kwy-nine’

Brian May has damaged ‘the backside of his muscles’, says Joorch. As opposed to the muscles of his backside, which is what actually happened.

He mentions the passing of an avid Coast listener and, with his fake Cronkite Catch in his voice, says ‘Be well.’ A bit late now, Joorch, you know, what with him being dead and all.

Then he plays his recording of that awful maudlin poem for Memorial Day.

-GNS

Quote from: CronkitesGhost on May 22, 2020, 03:50:08 AM
The Carnivora ads are absolutely illegal according to regulatory laws about advertising nutritional products pretending to be drugs to treat/prevent disease but there is so much of this snake oil out there that people rarely get charged with anything.

The lady who coughed 24 hours a day 7 days a week is clearly a nutcase. She is a grown adult woman, she sounds middle aged and refers to her mum and dad like she is 12. So she describes that she went to 3, count 'em 3, pulmonary specialists and all 3 told her to do nothing. Because of course they found nothing that would cause her to cough 24 hours a day and wisely wrote her off as a mental patient knowing that over time she'd forget about the cough and replace it with another malady to gain attention or whatever motivates these type of people.

and Carnivora like magic healed her cough, placebo effect is strong with the gullible and simple minded.

https://www.webmd.com/cancer/news/20181025/dont-fall-for-venus-flytrap-claims-experts-say

Joorch finally fesses up to the actual size of the Coast audience. We’re back with the live stage show events and Joorch is telling us that Asheville and Houston have been postponed. He is presumably attempting to say that he wants us to know that they are both cancelled, but Freud catches up with Mushmouth who says “I wanted you both to know that.”
But Everett is full steam ahead and Tommee tells us they’re going to install a ‘dance pit’, so people can dance to the music of the forties and fifties before the show.