George Noory Sucks! - The Definitive Compendium

[Supernormal]

Random Guest: "The Yankees beat the Red Sox."
George Voice: "Does the devil help them, like in the movie?"

Random Guest: "It was cloudy and rainy today?"
George Voice: "Do demons control the weather?"

Noory just asked the guest if ghosts were demons....again. Talk about a one-track, er, talk about a broken record. The guy can't or won't STFU about evil spirits. I'm close to skipping the rest of his shows.

[EvB]

Oh, those were incredible, Host of Coast-to-coast past, those were ghost shows! I don't believe in ghosts at all, but I would get goose skin listening to
those stories, and Bell would set such a creepy, round-the-campfire tone. Wow, I remember driving through the desert on night, listening to Art Bell do
ghost stories. I could have gone eall night, it was riveting...wait, my 420 AM signal is breaking up, its getting all staticky...Spirit, can you move to the left
a few feet, and maybe tone down your aura...I'm losing it...damn! Its gone...

Spirit!? She's gone too!

I'm gonna cry.  I really really am.   

[The Professor]

Man, I hope I haven't overdosed on that cough syrup, I'm feeling pretty weird...I must have drifted off, the show is on the 1:00Am break already...so boring. I do wish we could have some good unscreened ghost stories instead of...

Whoa!!! Holy Cow! Some sort of  green Gnome or Elf just appeared at the foot of the bed. He's got his huge cap pulled over his head, but he's laughing and really festive looking, with strings of christmas lights wrapped around him...he's trying to pull his pointy cap off to speak...its...

Ian Punnett?!?

[IP] Who were you expecting, I. P. Freeley?

I don't get it it. But anyway, YOU are the Host of Coast-to-Coast Present?

[IP] Yes!

But, uh, you are presently a host of coast-to-coast.

[IP] Yeah, that's what makes it so funny!

Well, ok. What have you come to teach me tonight?

[IP] Turn your radio to 570AM

It already is, thats the local station that carries coast.

[IP] No, you are still on 420 AM. I guess you were too busy
looking at Rollye in her nightgown to notice. She is hot! I hope
my wife isn't listening, or my dog jack for that matter.

Ian, please, can we just get back to tonights lesson. Ok, its on. Noory
is doing some painfully boring interview with a ghost hunter and now he just
went to phone calls. Now they're talking about franks box, just like we expected. Damn, its dull. Ian, what did you think of last night's show with Steve Quayle?

[IP] Steve Quayle is a valued guest, a great contributor to the show,
and is always weclome to update the coast family on his latest research.

Ian, the guy is a nutball to the 5th power! He must be stalked by squirrels! He's a total loon, and you yourself gave him a much deserved smackdown a
year ago when you challenged his nut-job prophesies and he had a melt down and threw a fit like a little girl! It was great.

[IP] No, I was way out of line, and I continue to apologize for my
poor hosting behavior on that unfortunate occasion. Professor, take my hand
so that you can understand...

Ok, let me just grab it---wow! we just popped into some other place...looks
like a corporate office...there's you seated, and standing are Noory, Tommy, and someone else...looks like you are in trouble

[IP] The other gentleman is the president ofPremRad...now listen...

Wow, they are all really dressing you down Ian, it looks pretty bad...

<Tommy> Punnett, what the *&(T(^%^&!!! are you doing! Who the
*&^^%$$# do you think you are. Quayle is an ESSENTIAL guest. Do you realize he can speak 22 minutes without taking a breath!!! Thats a full segment, bumper to bumper! Do you know how hard it was for us to find
a guest who was actually willing to come on regularly with George AND could string together enough words to fill entire segments without George having to speak at all! It doesn't matter if the words form coherent sentences or not!!! You little $%^^%$@, my only concern is dead air. The air doesn't fill itself,  and you know George can't say words and stuff, and so for our show, a guest like Steve Quayle is essential, its bread-and-butter!!!! Never, Never, say anything less than a 100% shill to our valued guests. DO YOU
"GET IT" Mr. Punnett-smart-ass-know-it-all-funny-preacher-boy???!!!


Gee, Ian, now I understand. I didn't realize you were under so much pressure to cater to Noory and his nutballs....

Whoa!!! Ian? he's gone, and I'm back in my bed. There's the cough syrup, I really need another swig....I'm afraid of what might be coming next...

[EvB]

The air doesn't fill itself,  and you know George can't say words and stuff, and so for our show, a guest like Steve Quayle is essential, its bread-and-butter!!!! Never, Never, say anything less than a 100% shill to our valued guests. DO YOU
"GET IT" Mr. Punnett-smart-ass-know-it-all-funny-preacher-boy???!!!

THAT IS WONDEFUL!

I'm a big fan of Ian's - but that infamous Quayle interview is gonna haunt HIM to his grave!

[PB the Deplorable]

I'm a big fan of Ian's - but that infamous Quayle interview is gonna haunt HIM to his grave!

Wiiillll-berrrrrr...

[The Professor]

I think I should have skipped tonights ghost show, or at least not mixed
it with the cough syrup...

Oh, I'm not looking forward to this...why doesn't my darn wife wake up...

wait, there at the foot of the bed. I thought I saw something. It was just
out of the corner of my eye, and then it was gone. Now its there again!

Yikes!! Its a dark figure, tall, willowly and blackest-black. Like death, but without the big axe-thing, thank god. I can't really
make it out...its just like a...a...shadow but standing there solid...wait...its a shadow person!

Are you the Spirit of Coast-to-Coast future?... It only nods. This can't be
good.

Spirit,  I fear you the most! Please, get this over with. What horrors have you come to show me? Noory winning an Emmy? Coast-to-Coast getting its own
24-hour cable channel? George signing a 20 year extension? Please, Spirit, have mercy on me!

He's extending his arm, as if to take me on a journey...oh well, I'm taking
his hand...er, shadow hand....

Yikes! We've suddenly jumped again. We're flying over a city...it looks like Los Angeles, or what was long ago Los Angeles. But there is desolation and decay
everywhere, as if nothing had been maintained for decades. Broken windows,
falling down buildings, overgrown weeds, cars abandoned and rusted. Spirit, where are the people spirit? Is this after a nuclear apocalypse? Was Ed Dames right after all?!? He doesn't speak. Now weare flying into a residential area, run down houses...but there are people, a lrage group of people, it looks like
they are having a yard party at one of the neighborhood homes. Were flying over..closer, now I see...they are dressed in rags, they all look likeing drooling
idiots, unable to even speak in full sentences---just grunts mostly. And they are all huddled around something, wait, were flying closer...its a radio! What could be on?

<radio: Howww Areeeee Youuuuu! Tonight we're doing a full four hours with
our expert Steve Quayle, on the collapse of civilization...>

Its Noory, and they are listening to Coast-to-Coast! They've turned to zombies, from the constant dumbing down of the show! How could this be? The social collapse, material decay, this must have taken decades, even centuries! How could Noory still be on?!? What Year is it Spirit, please?

Zoinks!!!  Now we are in a graveyard. There is a Fresh grave over there, must have just been filledin today, still covered with flowers. Were moving closer to make out the stone in the darkness, fortunately the moon is full, I can almost make it out, there, it says...

No!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Its says

"The Professor: 1964-2012, R.I.P."

[Supernormal]

THAT IS WONDEFUL!

I'm a big fan of Ian's - but that infamous Quayle interview is gonna haunt HIM to his grave!

George Voice: "Our good friend, Lionel, should read Professor's riveting tale. He'll be doing "'Twas The Night Before Christmas" again this year, so we'll be looking forward to that."

[HAL 9000]

Alright, time for the codeine cough syrup again...maybe now
Things will pick up...

In many/most states, you can get cough syrup with codeine without an Rx, but it's often up to the pharmacist's discretion - you do have to sign, so that your're put into a database so you can't go to different stores and "stock up." This may have changed since I last did it. Usually, the amount of codeine is just enough for cough suppression, but everyone reacts differently.. My dad takes 0.25mg of alprazolam, and knocks him out in 5 minutes... I takes 8 times the amount  - 2mg, plus 2 beers at 8.1% alcohol by volume, and NOTHING, except I gotta pee.

As a young adult, we lived minutes from the Canadian border, where codeine was available without an Rx - used to buy 500 tabs of T-3"s cheap OTC ... haven't kept up on those laws...so next time you go to Canada (assuming laws haven't changed), stock up! Always good for headaches, toothaches... whatever.Heck, I used to take MS Contin the night before a test, and it made me extraordinarily aware and increased my memory for the next day's test - was able to remember long passges from the PDR.... not that I advocating morphine use - but I am advocating the liberty and sovereignty over one's own body, without government interference, not dissimilar from a woman's right to abortion.      

[The Professor]

Spirit?!? Spirit?...He's gone now, and I'm back in bed....That was terrifiyng, it was Noory's insipid broadcasts themself that brought about the collapse of civilization in 2012, a self-fulfilling dumbing-down-vicious cycle, the end-of days being filled with continuous broadcasts of Noory and Quayle to a society of morons...

Are these images of things that  must come true, or can we change the future of Coast-to-Coast?!? The spirit didn't say....

what time is it? Whew, the show just ended! Its 2009. Its not too late!!!


To bed...I wonder what is on tomorrow night....

[valdez]

     For a ghost  hunter, John Kachuba  (aug 11) came across as a level headed, practical type of guy.  George was on auto pilot with questions that went nowhere.
     More interesting was astronomer Phil Plait's  interview.  After stating that there were some new spots on Staturn, George asked if it could have been hit by the same thing that recently hit Jupiter.  Phil said it wasn't possible due the huge distance between them.  I thought it was a real dumb question, but then I began to consider George's Psycho Comet Theory  in which a comet would slam into Jupiter, get up, blast off back into space, find Saturn, whack it a few times, blast off, and wreak havoc on the rest of the nine planets.
     Yeah.  Nine planets.  I don't care what a bunch of pot smoking, no good, nothing else to do but pick on small celestial bodies group of so-called astronomers has to say about it.  Pluto is a planet.

[xpmark12]

When I try to listen to Snoory I get an uncomfortable feeling.Like Snoory would get on a Mensa cruise.I'm starting to hear a lot of nervous laughter from his guests.I bet they are regular visitors to this website.

[danDNA]

ooh, i thought you said norman wisdom. my bad.

[Marc.Knight]

When I try to listen to Snoory I get an uncomfortable feeling.Like Snoory would get on a Mensa cruise.I'm starting to hear a lot of nervous laughter from his guests.I bet they are regular visitors to this website.

Oddly, because Noory make so many mistakes, and is so off the wall most times, the normal human reaction is TO LISTEN EVEN MORE CLOSELY than before.  I especially cringe when Noory is talking with Michio Kaku and out of the blue asks him if he sees shadow people while brushing his teeth in the morning or some nonsense.  The NERVOUS LAUGHTER is perhaps stifled incredulity.  I have plenty of that.

[The Professor]

wow, last nights show was terrible, how can Noory turn
Ghosting hunting into boring dreck?

I mean, why ask a ghosthunter about theological
And philosophical issues related to death and morality---first
Off, he's clearly never actually studied any actual spirit,
So he can't actually have any knowledge at all about their
True nature...

[The Professor]

Is anyone listening tonight? I wouldn't blame you if not, but I'm still sick..but getting better, so now Noory is starting to make me more sick than my virus

[EvB]

With a PhD from Stanford, and a BS from Caltech where he studied under famous physicist Richard Feynman, Dr. Robert Piccioni will discuss the Big Bang, dark matter, and how iPods, GPS systems and the Internet are all connected to Einstein.

Hmmm . . someone with an education.  Dunno if that's good or not.

[PB the Deplorable]

wow, last nights show was terrible, how can Noory turn
Ghosting hunting into boring dreck?

No prob for George Noory - piece of cake.  He's spent another 8 hours, at least, of prep-tarding in on this show.  I'm sure we'll all be appalled.

[PB the Deplorable]

First question:  Tell us how you got into physics

Second question:  Asks about a movie...

[PB the Deplorable]

3rd:  In 20 years will science be different than now?

[The Professor]

Ding!!! Movie reference 3 minutes into the interview...one the
Guest had not heard of, which was awkward...

[PB the Deplorable]

George is on fire with all the grunting:  yeah, right, huh!, uh-huh, exactly, darn, hmm...

Ever noticed whenever George says 'good point!', no one made a point?  They just said sumthin' George liked.... so George says 'good point' instead of.... clapping?

[PB the Deplorable]

One thing about some guests like Kaku, and maybe this guy - they are used to dealing with people far less intelligent, so they may not realize what a complete ass George is.

To them what's the difference between a 100 IQ and George at about 45?

[The Professor]

3rd:  In 20 years will science be different than now?

Well, you have to remember, two weeks back Noory
Pointed out they didn't have technology back when
Columbus sailed to the new world, so it was much
Harder to explore back then...

In the same spirit, wait until we do whatever it is they
Call it in 2040! Wow...

[The Professor]

George is on fire with all the grunting:  yeah, right, huh!, uh-huh, exactly, darn, hmm...

Ever noticed whenever George says 'good point!', no one made a point?  They just said sumthin' George liked.... so George says 'good point' instead of.... clapping?

For what it's worth, the guest only got through half of
Smolins natural selection of universes theory...Smolin
Was one of my professors I'm physics graduate school
Incidentally...the rest of his theory is that universes with
Carbon favor blackhole formation, and this the universes
Selected for will favor life like ours (carbon based)

Of course, noory wasn't listening, so he didn't know he
Cut him off in mid theory...

[PB the Deplorable]

Well, you have to remember, two weeks back Noory
Pointed out they didn't have technology back when
Columbus sailed to the new world, so it was much
Harder to explore back then...

LOL, I missed that one. 

Without technology it was even harder finding there way back home..

[PB the Deplorable]

... Of course, noory wasn't listening, so he didn't know he
Cut him off in mid theory...

Well it was important - George had to jump in and say he agreed, and liked it too..

[The Professor]

One thing about some guests like Kaku, and maybe this guy - they are used to dealing with people far less intelligent, so they may not realize what a complete ass George is.

To them what's the difference between a 100 IQ and George at about 45?

I agree, but there is also the phenomena where -20 feels vastly colder than 0...
George is far beyond subzero...

[PB the Deplorable]

Just sent George a fast blast telling his to Shut Up and Stop Interrupting. 

I'm sure it will work.


Hi George.  Damn, You Suck (or if you prefer:  damn you, Suck).

[The Professor]

Maybe too much information with Noory telling
Us it was common to marry first cousins in the
Old country,,, I think this explains a lot about George though...

[The Professor]

Just sent George a fast blast telling his to Shut Up and Stop Interrupting. 

I'm sure it will work.


Hi George.  Damn, You Suck (or if you prefer:  damn you, Suck).

I already used my fastblast to chastise him for his flu stupidity