George Noory Sucks! - The Definitive Compendium

[Eddie Coyle]

Absolutely. And yet this week this same plank who can't get through the simplest sentence without mangling it, got through the name of the terrorist arrested in the FBI sting perfectly and without hesitation. Quazi Mohammad Rezwanul Ahsan Nafis. What are the odds? He'd obviously devoted all of his 8 hour prep time to practicing that one.

Not really, it's his native tongue. He likely grew up in a house where English was a second language and Arabic would come easily to him. That's why I give him a bit of leniency on his screw ups in this department.

[George Noory]

Hey bashement-dwellersh. Whaaaaacsh happenin'? I'm Georsh Fuckin' Noory and you're not. HA HA HA. I'm havin' a great time here in Minnieoappolish. Who-eeeeee!!! Yeah, I've had a few. Why not? I'm entitultled, entuttutuled,entu... aw' fuck it, you know what I mean. And I'll shing if I wanna shing. Nobody tellsh George Fuckin' Noory wat he can do. NOBODY!!!!!!!!!!! Oh look at that. Hotdog. A hawt 58 year old jus walked by. Yeah, she wants Georgie"s manhood. Later, you no-talents. HAW HAW HAW. I LOVE IT.

[eddie dean]

         Not really, it's his native tongue. He likely grew up in a house where English was a second language and Arabic would come easily to him. That's why I give him a bit of leniency on his screw ups in this department.

My ahh haaa moment!!
English is his second language! I had no idea, (if it is indeed correct), or even pondered this theory. In my opinion that is the missing piece. It explains his trouble with simple elementary words, at times.  I would still argue that a veteran broadcaster, that has any pride, would strive to overcome some of his basic lingual barriers in order to improve in his professionalism.

[George Noory]

John B. Wellsh. He thinks he's so big. Wannabe rock shtar. Oooooohh, heesh got a deep voish. Big deal. I got a giant happening middle-eashtern mushtache. And don't think the dames don't go for it, CUZ THEY DO!!!!  Oh God, I'm gonna puke.

[ziznak]

good luck with that hangover there Jorch!  better double up on the Tooooooooomrick!!

[Morgus]

I got a giant happening middle-eashtern mushtache.
And don't think the dames don't go for it

dames?  you must mean Major Ed Dames 

[George Noory]

I don't feel so good.[attachimg=1]

[Bmassie]

Has anyone seen that citicard comerical where a woman breaks up with her boyfriend for being too boring,i picture this is how noorys last two marriages ended.the comerical ends with him getting some sort of credit card and goes to a alica keys concert and its implied hes no longer boring.what im getting at is noory needs a Citicard.

[PB the Deplorable]

My ahh haaa moment!!
English is his second language! ...

Correct.  George has no first language.

[Morgus]

I see the poster that was using the  George Noory name has changed to (Not) George Noory now.
Thats shocking - he fooled us - he was just a fake! Probably Tommy? 

[Sardondi]

Looks like Noory is appearing at another of his "meet&greet" events this weekend along with Ian Punnett, Linda Howe, and a bunch of the Ancient Aliens regulars:.....Wonder how much Noory gets for these appearances?....

Too much, whatever it is.

Correct.  George has no first language.

*chortle*

dames?  you must mean Major Ed Dames 

Dear God, I look at the Dames pic and all I can think of is scenes from Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Holy crap!

[BobGrau]

E. T. : the Rehab Years.

[someguy]

Man, the guest that was on tlaking about vampires was fucking awesome, and Noory literally cuts him off mid sentence then cuts him off the show completely. The guy made Noory sound like a really idiot. Like he mentioned his book, and was all "Well, it's all in the book you're holding in your hands right now george!" and Noory responds with "could be.. could be..."


Noory is a fucking idiot bitch fucker. I want to hit him upside the head with a boat oar.

[ItsOver]

Too much, whatever it is.

*chortle*

Dear God, I look at the Dames pic and all I can think of is scenes from Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Holy crap!

That or "The Silence of the Lambs."

[MV/Liberace!]

i showed this picture to my wife and asked, "does this guy look creepy to you?"  she replied, "yeah, a little bit... yeah."

[Morgus]

Here is a photo of Major Ed Dames with Noory in the studio.
Look at their difference in height...

[BobGrau]

Here is a photo of Major Ed Dames with Noory in the studio.
Look at their difference in height...

Even Dames cringes at standing close to noory.

[Eddie Coyle]

          Dames is a fuckin' imp! Doesn't the military have some height requirements?

[Morgus]

Never seen Dames ever smile before except in  this photo:


It appears that either Ed Dames is a lot shorter than most of his students, or they are all very tall...

See several photos of Major Ed Dames at some RV workshop event from some years back here:
http://www.innovationalberta.com/photogallery/view_photo.php?set_albumName=album06&id=aab

[Juan]

I thought George was afraid of midgets - or maybe that's only Michael Savage.

[ziznak]

E. T. : the Rehab Years.

this one has made me lulz everytime i read it... he really does look ETesque.  I also get a strong spike in my gaydar when I see pics of mr dames. 
everytime i see him i think of this little douche

[Sardondi]

Now, let's assess Little Eddie assuming the students are an average 5' 10"?

[Pragmier]

He's not helping himself with that ridiculously long shirt either.

[b_dubb]

that picture is just creepy. 

[Bmassie]

If i need someone to remote view me some cookies and cream i kno just the man,also anyone else wonder what the hell goes on at these rv courses those guys in that picture are not whom i pictured attends his courses.

[eddie dean]

after looking at that Doctor Doom picture I had to do some calculating. if you assume that a dining table is roughly 28 inches tall and you extrapolate using that number being equal to the distance from the table to his feet. it appears he is a little bit more than 2 times the height of the table. so  2.28*28".   My calculator tells me his height is: "Elderly Asian Female" or in hard numbers 5'3".

[Sardondi]

after looking at that Doctor Doom picture I had to do some calculating. if you assume that a dining table is roughly 28 inches tall and you extrapolate using that number being equal to the distance from the table to his feet. it appears he is a little bit more than 2 times the height of the table. so  2.28*28".   My calculator tells me his height is: "Elderly Asian Female" or in hard numbers 5'3".

And should we summon the will to overcome one's natural reluctance to think about these things, and calculate the dimensions of a proportionally sized penis of a 5' 3" late-middle-aged white male, I think we're getting close to a breakthrough on why Major Fraud Dames says and does what he says and does...

[eddie dean]

And should we summon the will to overcome one's natural reluctance to think about these things, and calculate the dimensions of a proportionally sized penis of a 5' 3" late-middle-aged white male, I think we're getting close to a breakthrough on why Major Fraud Dames says and does what he says and does...

No doubt his failing marriage might suggest your theory is well founded.
in my neck of the woods, such short men are referred to  as "overcompensating". I'd be willing to guess he drives either a Corvette, Z-28 or even a monster truck. Makes him feel powerfull!

[Doomed]

Even Dames cringes at standing close to noory.

Another possibility is the nose to armpit proximity?

[Sardondi]

No doubt his failing marriage might suggest your theory is well founded.
in my neck of the woods, such short men are referred to  as "overcompensating". I'd be willing to guess he drives either a Corvette, Z-28 or even a monster truck. Makes him feel powerfull!

Has he made some public pronouncement about the uncooling of Mrs. Major Ed? The only comment I heard from him was 5-8 years ago when he mentioned that he had moved in with her family. I've forgotten what particular country other than it was a former Soviet-istan that had a lot of unpopulated steppe. Dames said he had moved there in preparation for the Kill Shot. He said his in-laws agreed with him completely on the KS, and they were all stocking up on supplies of yak blood and pony testicles, and digging deeper latrines. Which is more accurately translated as, "My so-called in-laws have no idea who I am or what I'm doing there, but they don't seem to mind so long as I keep giving them a bunch of dollars, and then they let me eat and sleep with the dogs."

Did it turn out that Dames's marriage-made-in-heaven was really just made at a Russian-pussy-for-American-citizenship* website?

But shock of shocks! Has it turned out that Mrs. Ed says she doesn't love Major Ed anymore?!? And now she's divorcing him in New York where she will set up residence for the next 2 or 75 years with her childhood friend "Gregor" that she miraculously just happened to discover had moved to the US about the same time she married Major Ed? What a coincidence...with all apologies to George. 

Is that what's happened to Major Ed? And if so, why didn't he remote view that shit?


* Plus a 5-figure "finder's fee" to one Shlomo Muhammed Rotchyakokoff.