Random stupid things on your mind. Post them.

[onan]

It's hard to dance when you're Dixie normous

Not if you stand on a chair.

[Cynnie]

Not if you stand on a chair.

Pole dancing just got real

[bigchucka]

Do I detect a smidgen of butthurt?

Nahhh... just don't care as much anymore.  Half the shit I say has cursing in it, which might count against it.  Also length of phrase... sometimes you have to "develop" the joke.  Also, I am competing against ones like the post above this...

Now I noticed it.  Congratulations...

[Treading Water]

Pole dancing just got real

Hahahahaha.  Glad to see you back, also.

[wr250]

General Statistics - wr250
Total Time Spent Online:34 days, 23 hours and 28 minutes.

[onan]

General Statistics - wr250
Total Time Spent Online:34 days, 23 hours and 28 minutes.

slacker

[Birdie]

Student Kept Mailing Poop To Vice Principal: Cops
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2014/05/08/student-mails-poop-to-pri_n_5287340.html
The kid was arrested. Schools seem to be relying way to heavily on the police and the legal system for discipline. Who is going to be helped by arresting this kid? No one. Having to go through the legal system for a (very funny) prank will probably teach him hate the police and all authority figures, and skew his outlook on life. I am not big into conspiracy theories, but my husband said maybe they are trying to get kids used to being in 'the system.' That, I might just believe. 

[wr250]

Student Kept Mailing Poop To Vice Principal: Cops
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2014/05/08/student-mails-poop-to-pri_n_5287340.html
The kid was arrested. Schools seem to be relying way to heavily on the police and the legal system for discipline. Who is going to be helped by arresting this kid? No one. Having to go through the legal system for a (very funny) prank will probably teach him hate the police and all authority figures, and skew his outlook on life. I am not big into conspiracy theories, but my husband said maybe they are trying to get kids used to being in 'the system.' That, I might just believe. 

ive mailed banana peels back to capitol one in their free prepaid envelope.
ive also stuffed those "you are pre approved for _____." letters with other "you are pre approved for ______" , coupons for things i dont buy etc, till it weighs as much as possible and still get the envelope closed. this has stopped that type of mail from coming here. i also removed anything that could identify me. will the prank police come after me now?

[heater]

It's hard to dance when you're Dixie normous

I found that out the hard way

[UnscreenedCaller]

Pole dancing just got real

Just fell out of my chair laughing. 

[paladin1991]

ive mailed banana peels back to capitol one in their free prepaid envelope.
ive also stuffed those "you are pre approved for _____." letters with other "you are pre approved for ______" , coupons for things i dont buy etc, till it weighs as much as possible and still get the envelope closed. this has stopped that type of mail from coming here. i also removed anything that could identify me. will the prank police come after me now?

Iknow I shouldn't be doing that, but at least I'm not alone.  Brother!

[BobGrau]

Nahhh... just don't care as much anymore.  Half the shit I say has cursing in it, which might count against it.  Also length of phrase... sometimes you have to "develop" the joke.  Also, I am competing against ones like the post above this...

Now I noticed it.  Congratulations...

I don't think cursing makes a difference. I'd guess the formula as:

-something funny
-something thought-provoking
-something that chimes with whatever MV's thinking at the time
-something that MV happens to read when he's vaguely thinking the existing quote is getting old

+number of cockpics uploaded to MV's bank account.


EDIT: it has to be something relatively short and snappy that either doesn't depend on context too much, or becomes even funnier out of context.

[BobGrau]

Not if you stand on a chair.

Just fell out of my chair laughing. 

Not quite sure what to do with this.

[wr250]

[paladin1991]

I don't think cursing makes a difference. I'd guess the formula as:

-something funny
-something thought-provoking
-something that chimes with whatever MV's thinking at the time
-something that MV happens to read when he's vaguely thinking the existing quote is getting old

+number of cockpics uploaded to MV's bank account.


EDIT: it has to be something relatively short and snappy that either doesn't depend on context too much, or becomes even funnier out of context.

Like your cockpic?

[bigchucka]

+number of cockpics uploaded to MV's bank account.

Has the dollar dropped so bad that now there's some offshore bank that accepts that as currency?  I did just notice that "donations are confidential."  Do they become monetized when they're threatened to be released?

[UnscreenedCaller]

Not quite sure what to do with this.

Lol, Bob! Good one. 

[coaster]

Student Kept Mailing Poop To Vice Principal: Cops
Having to go through the legal system for a (very funny) prank will probably teach him hate the police and all authority figures, and skew his outlook on life.

Are you 12? Thats not even remotely funny. Its just disgusting. He should be charged for it, he sounds like a little fucking weirdo.

[Juan]

<geezer> Back in my day </geezer> he would have had his ass blistered at school and again when he got home, and that would have been the end of it.

[Yorkshire pud]

Student Kept Mailing Poop To Vice Principal: Cops
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2014/05/08/student-mails-poop-to-pri_n_5287340.html
The kid was arrested. Schools seem to be relying way to heavily on the police and the legal system for discipline. Who is going to be helped by arresting this kid? No one. Having to go through the legal system for a (very funny) prank will probably teach him hate the police and all authority figures, and skew his outlook on life. I am not big into conspiracy theories, but my husband said maybe they are trying to get kids used to being in 'the system.' That, I might just believe. 

Nothing as conspiratorial as that: When I was at school, you did as you were told, sure we larked about and played tricks, but we knew the line . If we got caught we took the punishment, and if it was serious we got caned. But we knew the line. If it got really serious parents got brought in and if it was bad, we got home and got a leathering then too, grounded for a week etc..

Now? Well now, parents and teachers have been told they can't discipline kids..and kids not being stupid know this, and will take any opportunity to call out that a teacher (particularly male) touched them inappropriately. Teachers know this, and so take a back seat and are reduced to 'asking' kids to behave instead as happened to us, being bent over the bench in Mr Crooks' woodwork class and belted with a length of 2X2 ash. Guess what? We didn't fuck with him and got on with what we were supposed to do.

The other end of the scale in the same school was a delightful and highly respected french teacher who wouldn't hurt a fly, but the kids did as they were told, unquestioning...no-one fucked with him either. As a matter of fact it was my old school where an incident with a 14 year old shit (after I'd left) that resulted in the banning of all corporal punishment in England and Wales. Long story but to do with the shit's parents wanting compensation, and not recognising their shit of a son was a shit.

Parents? Yeah,, they go in now to schools and beat/shoot or abuse the teacher who 'asked' their shit of a child to do as they're told...

Which leaves the options open to the school very limited..they can't administer discipline, the parents won't, so who do they go to? Hong Kong Fui? Nope...The police...

Here endeth the lesson.   

[Yorkshire pud]

Oh and another thing:

I was shopping this morning and felt partial to pizza...ham and pineapple to be exact, bought a block of parmaesan cheese to grate over the top...Got it home, preheated the oven, 15 minutes later it was done to perfection..

(giggling now).....I only burnt the roof of my mouth just behind my top teeth don't you know! Noory wasn't making it up, really he wasn't. Only this wasn't rolls (never seen them here) but normal thin pizza slice. 

[coaster]

Oh and another thing:

I was shopping this morning and felt partial to pizza...ham and pineapple to be exact, bought a block of parmaesan cheese to grate over the top...Got it home, preheated the oven, 15 minutes later it was done to perfection..

(giggling now).....I only burnt the roof of my mouth just behind my top teeth don't you know! Noory wasn't making it up, really he wasn't. Only this wasn't rolls (never seen them here) but normal thin pizza slice. 

But did you keep it in your mouth for five seconds before spitting it out? Talk about a delayed reaction on Noory's part.

[Yorkshire pud]

But did you keep it in your mouth for five seconds before spitting it out? Talk about a delayed reaction on Noory's part.

Pah! Spit it out? Which namby pamby delicate flower spits it out? No sir!! I carried on and munched away until it blistered and I suffered third degree burns, before carrying on with the other 80% of the same pizza from Hades..Spit it out indeed. I'm a Yorkshireman I'll have you know.

[paladin1991]

Pah! Spit it out? Which namby pamby delicate flower spits it out? No sir!! I carried on and munched away until it blistered and I suffered third degree burns, before carrying on with the other 80% of the same pizza from Hades..Spit it out indeed. I'm a Yorkshireman I'll have you know.

Well there you have it.  Yorkshiremen swallow.

[b_dubb]

Nothing as conspiratorial as that: When I was at school, you did as you were told, sure we larked about and played tricks, but we knew the line . If we got caught we took the punishment, and if it was serious we got caned. But we knew the line. If it got really serious parents got brought in and if it was bad, we got home and got a leathering then too, grounded for a week etc..

Now? Well now, parents and teachers have been told they can't discipline kids..and kids not being stupid know this, and will take any opportunity to call out that a teacher (particularly male) touched them inappropriately. Teachers know this, and so take a back seat and are reduced to 'asking' kids to behave instead as happened to us, being bent over the bench in Mr Crooks' woodwork class and belted with a length of 2X2 ash. Guess what? We didn't fuck with him and got on with what we were supposed to do.

The other end of the scale in the same school was a delightful and highly respected french teacher who wouldn't hurt a fly, but the kids did as they were told, unquestioning...no-one fucked with him either. As a matter of fact it was my old school where an incident with a 14 year old shit (after I'd left) that resulted in the banning of all corporal punishment in England and Wales. Long story but to do with the shit's parents wanting compensation, and not recognising their shit of a son was a shit.

Parents? Yeah,, they go in now to schools and beat/shoot or abuse the teacher who 'asked' their shit of a child to do as they're told...

Which leaves the options open to the school very limited..they can't administer discipline, the parents won't, so who do they go to? Hong Kong Fui? Nope...The police...

Here endeth the lesson.

What about the children?! Why do you hate the children?!!

[bigchucka]

Things that can happen when replying to old posts... sometimes your reply can be very poorly timed.  Good thing I scrolled up and seen that...

[Cynnie]

Are you 12? Thats not even remotely funny. Its just disgusting. He should be charged for it, he sounds like a little fucking weirdo.

I'm not a fan of poop pranks ..these things always make me think of one of those multiple personality chicks ( Sybil ? ) her mother would shit in a disliked neghbors yard..
Just icky

[Birdie]

Are you 12? Thats not even remotely funny. Its just disgusting. He should be charged for it, he sounds like a little fucking weirdo.

I see it as a creative variation of the flaming bag of dog poop on the asshole neighbor's door step prank. It wasn't people poop, they tested it. I can't believe you never wanted to mail poop to some one when you were a teenager. I thought everyone did. Maybe it's just kids who grow up in rural areas? Poop in the mailbox, manure dumped all over someone's car...we saw all sorts of cow, horse, and sheep poop pranks growing up.
The police probably have better things to do than respond to a juvenile prank, unless there is irreparable property damage. When we were in school, for something like this you'd be sentenced to cleaning the bathrooms for a month, assisting the janitor with his rounds after school, or helping the groundskeeper, plus additional detention or suspension.

[coaster]

I can't believe you never wanted to mail poop to some one when you were a teenager.

I grew up in Nebraska. I imagine through those teenage years I had access to feces, but no, not once did it cross my mind to actually send it to someone through the mail. I've heard of the flaming dog shit in a bag. But that's a lot different than sending it in the mail.

[Yorkshire pud]

What about the children?! Why do you hate the children?!!

I don't have to justify my feelings to liberals..What about the bamboo? Won't anyone think of that?