• Welcome to BellGab.com Archive.
 

Random stupid things on your mind. Post them.

Started by timpate, September 20, 2010, 07:56:24 PM

Go Down Pages 1 ... 605 606 607 608 609 610 611 612 613 614 615 616 617 618 619 620 621 622 623 624 625 ... 809

albrecht

#18420
May 11, 2017, 08:30:43 AM
Maybe it is me but it seems, almost suddenly, "IC" is used too much, instead of mentioning the specific agencies. Watching CSPAN hearings makes me think the old white dudes are talking about the frozen drink concoction; the "ICEES", "ICEE," etc. Maybe if we send ICEEs to N.Korea or ISIS they might calm down? (We could manufacture a "tree bark" flavor for the NKs even.)

ShayP

#18423
May 11, 2017, 03:18:09 PM
Anyway...

I had a dream that Rita Coolidge was pissed at me because I wouldn't marry her.  It was in this timeline but she looked like she did way back when. She just kept showing up in places.  I never came to any resolution why I wouldn't consider at least some sort of a relationship.

Rix Gins

#18424
May 11, 2017, 04:07:45 PM
Quote from: ShayP on May 11, 2017, 03:18:09 PM
Anyway...

I had a dream that Rita Coolidge was pissed at me because I wouldn't marry her.  It was in this timeline but she looked like she did way back when. She just kept showing up in places.  I never came to any resolution why I wouldn't consider at least some sort of a relationship.

Haha, cool dream there, Shay.  Reminds me of one I had some years back regarding Annie Lennox.  Nothing sexual about it, in fact we went out of our ways in the dream to establish the fact that we were just very good friends.  Damned if I didn't wake up feeling quite fond of Annie, and before the dream I hadn't any kind of interest in her whatsoever.  Even today, if I see her in a news item, etc. I get this warm feeling.  "Oh look, there's my good pal, Annie."  Dreams are funny.

Taaroa

#18425
May 11, 2017, 05:31:33 PM
Military was doing training flights over the city from about 2am-5am. Naturally today there are articles in the media with people complaining about it waking them up, but amongst all the whining there was this gem:

QuoteI agree with doing the training drills but they should be done over suburbs with high unemployment as they don't have to suffer a sleepless night then get up for work.

GravitySucks

#18426
May 11, 2017, 05:33:24 PM
Quote from: Taaroa on May 11, 2017, 05:31:33 PM
Military was doing training flights over the city from about 2am-5am. Naturally today there are articles in the media with people complaining about it waking them up, but amongst all the whining there was this gem:

Precious.

aldousburbank

#18427
May 11, 2017, 05:49:19 PM
Here is my solution for unemployment- Everybody who collects unemployment is also automatically employed by the military; get a job and you return to civilian status.

Here is my solution for health care- Indian Health Services provides health care for Native Americans. Their stated mission is "to raise their health status to the highest possible level." So then, let's expand this to include all actual native born Americans, i.e. all children born to legal residents of the U.S.

I can't figure out if I'm serious or not.

GravitySucks

#18428
May 11, 2017, 06:15:24 PM
Quote from: aldousburbank on May 11, 2017, 05:49:19 PM
Here is my solution for unemployment- Everybody who collects unemployment is also automatically employed by the military; get a job and you return to civilian status.

Here is my solution for health care- Indian Health Services provides health care for Native Americans. Their stated mission is "to raise their health status to the highest possible level." So then, let's expand this to include all actual native born Americans, i.e. all children born to legal residents of the U.S.

I can't figure out if I'm serious or not.

Add in a Parenting License and lets do a roll out.

Walks_At_Night

#18434
May 13, 2017, 10:04:13 AM
US Marine Staff Sargent Bernice Frankel.    Later known to the world as Bea Arthur



pate

#18437
May 13, 2017, 10:40:22 PM
This all is sure to set Mr. Fidget in a spin...

pate

#18440
May 14, 2017, 02:30:36 AM
Happy Momma's Day all you hawt Mommas!

(Sandman) Logan-5

#18442
May 14, 2017, 03:43:54 AM
Quote from: pate on May 14, 2017, 02:30:36 AM
Happy Momma's Day all you hawt Mommas!
Bastard...       You beat me to it.   >:(
;)

Happy Mothers Day Gabbers.  :)

FallenSeraph

#18443
May 14, 2017, 03:50:52 AM
Please allow me (or skip) this long-ass, self-indulgent, navel-gazing post at this moment in time.

I recently got a pretty decent job with a major wireless service provider. Its current marketing campaign centers around the fact that we stole the "Can you hear me now?" guy ... and that's all I'll say about that. If you watch commercials, I'm sure you'll figure it out.

Anyway, after years of sickeningly stressful jobs in the PR/Marketing industry -- meeting with clients, making sure they're happy and all the "low-hanging fruit" has been grabbed and our "success metrics" have been met ... and all the while, billing and billing and billing by the hour until I met my billing quota -– this current gig is exactly the job I thought I always wanted: a low-stress, assembly-line-type job, a corporate writer (drone) in a sea of corporate writers, plugging away at mindless work and, in turn, getting a paycheck that's so excessive, it's guilt-inducing.

Specifically, as a former journalist, I'm now tasked with trailing along behind the technical writers and making their copy relatable to other human beings. I write, I rewrite, I edit, I punctuate. It takes almost zero brain power on my part and I get to use my skills to make another decent writer look extraordinary, which puts an altruistic spin on the whole thing. Meanwhile, I'm one of a large pool of "lifestyle content specialists" and we all telecommute from all over the country. I work from home. I work in pajamas. I vape while I write. If the work gets too tedious, I can toss back a vodka-and-grapefruit juice or catch up on the latest episode of "Better Call Saul" and no one would know. I am hashtag-blessed for the moment.

So here's where I'm going with this: Recently the company offered me a $20K bonus with an oh-so-corporate catch: It's got strings attached. I have to go off-salary and earn it during the hours when I'm not making my actual salary, and I have a window of six weeks to do it. I did the math and I believe I have to work about 19 hours a day, every day, including weekends, if I want that $20K. And hell yes, I want that $20K.

Don't get me wrong: The bonus isn't all or nothing. Every Friday I get a check with a portion of that $20K -- whatever I've earned that week. And that's been glorious. This past Friday, my "extra check" was $2,200. So yeah, sleep is for the weak. I need a new car.

So tonight I'm sitting here at 4 a.m. on a Sunday -- although to me it's still Saturday, as I started clocking these hours around 6 p.m. It's lonely as hell, editing all these documents, tweaking their HTML codes, adjusting fonts and formatting them, here alone in my house in the dead of night.

I have a list of documents from which I'm working. I doggedly plug away at them. And then suddenly I realize the list is changing. Someone out there -- some technical writer -- is ADDING more documents to my folder. Like, right now.

The action in itself isn't out of the ordinary -- the technical writers always add their work to this particular file and my job is to grab it, clean it up and pass it along down the assembly line of words to another file, where someone else will grab my stuff and review it, etc. etc. etc. It's just the TIMING right now that's weird -- this lonely, lonely time in the middle of the night and suddenly I see that another human being is out there, somewhere, working with me.

I want to reach out to her. According to the metadata on the doc, her name is Meredith. I want to boot up our intraoffice messaging system, find her name among the thousands of people in this company and shoot her a message. Because what's her deal? Is she also chasing after a $20K carrot that's being dangled in front of her? Or does she just have a shitload of work to do and she's sick with stress about getting it done? Maybe she came home late from a bar, tipsy, wired and unable to sleep and thought, "Well hell, I guess I'll write some technical documents." Or maybe, like me, she lives alone with a couple of cats and her Saturday nights kind of suck like mine. If she throws herself into her work in the middle of the night, maybe she won't feel like she's the only one in the universe who isn't sleeping in the arms of another human being or out on the town having a blast. At least that's how I deal.

I want to message her: "Meredith! HEY, MEREDITH! I'm here too! You're not alone at 4 a.m.! Who are you? Why are you here? Your writing is good! I'm happy to be editing it!"

But I don't. Because that would be weird. And really, I'm projecting my own shit on poor Meredith, whoever she is. She and her husband probably just got done having hot sex. He went right to sleep. She tossed and turned and finally decided to get up and work. Tomorrow they're going to a Mother's Day brunch. He'll give her flowers. Her kids will give her cute gifts they picked out themselves. So she's working late because she knows she'll be cherished tomorrow (today) and doesn't want work looming over her and spoiling it.

Meanwhile, I'm sitting here with questions like "Are all my Saturday nights going to be like this?" and "Who's going to take care of me when I'm old?"

I went to the liquor store today to get a bottle of rosé and some Bailey's. The cashier handed me a rose. "Happy Mother's Day!" he said. "We're giving complimentary roses to all of our customer-mothers." I didn't want to make it weird and tell him that I'm not a mother and I can't have kids and it breaks my heart every damn day. So yeah, there's a rose in a vase on my bedside table now. I should toss it, but I love flowers. I wonder if Meredith is also single and childless and if people mistake her for a mother every year on this weekend too.

So yeah, kids, welcome to the inside of my head. It was shocking as hell tonight to see another person online working a few minutes ago. In a company with thousands and thousands of people, it looks like we're the only two people who are logged into the company intranet. So, being the "OHMYGAWWWWWD I'M SOOOOO BORED IN THIS JOBBBBBBBB" soul that I am, I couldn't help but wonder: "Who the hell is Meredith and what's her story?"

Unfortunately, I'll never get up the nerve to ask her. We can only imagine though.

If you've gotten this far, thanks for reading. I guess I'd better get back to work. But to make this post relevant, yeah, that's why I always loved Art. No matter how lonely I felt, he was always a voice in the dark ... and he was as weird as I was. Noory is .... fine ... but it's not the same.

Happy Mother's Day to all you BellGabber Mothers!

basswood

#18444
May 14, 2017, 04:14:59 AM
That was a beautiful bit of naval gazing, thanks for it.

Quote from: Seraphim27 on May 14, 2017, 03:50:52 AM
Please allow me (or skip) this long-ass, self-indulgent, navel-gazing post at this moment in time.

I recently got a pretty decent job with a major wireless service provider. Its current marketing campaign centers around the fact that we stole the "Can you hear me now?" guy ... and that's all I'll say about that. If you watch commercials, I'm sure you'll figure it out.

Anyway, after years of sickeningly stressful jobs in the PR/Marketing industry -- meeting with clients, making sure they're happy and all the "low-hanging fruit" has been grabbed and our "success metrics" have been met ... and all the while, billing and billing and billing by the hour until I met my billing quota -â€" this current gig is exactly the job I thought I always wanted: a low-stress, assembly-line-type job, a corporate writer (drone) in a sea of corporate writers, plugging away at mindless work and, in turn, getting a paycheck that's so excessive, it's guilt-inducing.

Specifically, as a former journalist, I'm now tasked with trailing along behind the technical writers and making their copy relatable to other human beings. I write, I rewrite, I edit, I punctuate. It takes almost zero brain power on my part and I get to use my skills to make another decent writer look extraordinary, which puts an altruistic spin on the whole thing. Meanwhile, I'm one of a large pool of "lifestyle content specialists" and we all telecommute from all over the country. I work from home. I work in pajamas. I vape while I write. If the work gets too tedious, I can toss back a vodka-and-grapefruit juice or catch up on the latest episode of "Better Call Saul" and no one would know. I am hashtag-blessed for the moment.

So here's where I'm going with this: Recently the company offered me a $20K bonus with an oh-so-corporate catch: It's got strings attached. I have to go off-salary and earn it during the hours when I'm not making my actual salary, and I have a window of six weeks to do it. I did the math and I believe I have to work about 19 hours a day, every day, including weekends, if I want that $20K. And hell yes, I want that $20K.

Don't get me wrong: The bonus isn't all or nothing. Every Friday I get a check with a portion of that $20K -- whatever I've earned that week. And that's been glorious. This past Friday, my "extra check" was $2,200. So yeah, sleep is for the weak. I need a new car.

So tonight I'm sitting here at 4 a.m. on a Sunday -- although to me it's still Saturday, as I started clocking these hours around 6 p.m. It's lonely as hell, editing all these documents, tweaking their HTML codes, adjusting fonts and formatting them, here alone in my house in the dead of night.

I have a list of documents from which I'm working. I doggedly plug away at them. And then suddenly I realize the list is changing. Someone out there -- some technical writer -- is ADDING more documents to my folder. Like, right now.

The action in itself isn't out of the ordinary -- the technical writers always add their work to this particular file and my job is to grab it, clean it up and pass it along down the assembly line of words to another file, where someone else will grab my stuff and review it, etc. etc. etc. It's just the TIMING right now that's weird -- this lonely, lonely time in the middle of the night and suddenly I see that another human being is out there, somewhere, working with me.

I want to reach out to her. According to the metadata on the doc, her name is Meredith. I want to boot up our intraoffice messaging system, find her name among the thousands of people in this company and shoot her a message. Because what's her deal? Is she also chasing after a $20K carrot that's being dangled in front of her? Or does she just have a shitload of work to do and she's sick with stress about getting it done? Maybe she came home late from a bar, tipsy, wired and unable to sleep and thought, "Well hell, I guess I'll write some technical documents." Or maybe, like me, she lives alone with a couple of cats and her Saturday nights kind of suck like mine. If she throws herself into her work in the middle of the night, maybe she won't feel like she's the only one in the universe who isn't sleeping in the arms of another human being or out on the town having a blast. At least that's how I deal.

I want to message her: "Meredith! HEY, MEREDITH! I'm here too! You're not alone at 4 a.m.! Who are you? Why are you here? Your writing is good! I'm happy to be editing it!"

But I don't. Because that would be weird. And really, I'm projecting my own shit on poor Meredith, whoever she is. She and her husband probably just got done having hot sex. He went right to sleep. She tossed and turned and finally decided to get up and work. Tomorrow they're going to a Mother's Day brunch. He'll give her flowers. Her kids will give her cute gifts they picked out themselves. So she's working late because she knows she'll be cherished tomorrow (today) and doesn't want work looming over her and spoiling it.

Meanwhile, I'm sitting here with questions like "Are all my Saturday nights going to be like this?" and "Who's going to take care of me when I'm old?"

I went to the liquor store today to get a bottle of rosé and some Bailey's. The cashier handed me a rose. "Happy Mother's Day!" he said. "We're giving complimentary roses to all of our customer-mothers." I didn't want to make it weird and tell him that I'm not a mother and I can't have kids and it breaks my heart every damn day. So yeah, there's a rose in a vase on my bedside table now. I should toss it, but I love flowers. I wonder if Meredith is also single and childless and if people mistake her for a mother every year on this weekend too.

So yeah, kids, welcome to the inside of my head. It was shocking as hell tonight to see another person online working a few minutes ago. In a company with thousands and thousands of people, it looks like we're the only two people who are logged into the company intranet. So, being the "OHMYGAWWWWWD I'M SOOOOO BORED IN THIS JOBBBBBBBB" soul that I am, I couldn't help but wonder: "Who the hell is Meredith and what's her story?"

Unfortunately, I'll never get up the nerve to ask her. We can only imagine though.

If you've gotten this far, thanks for reading. I guess I'd better get back to work. But to make this post relevant, yeah, that's why I always loved Art. No matter how lonely I felt, he was always a voice in the dark ... and he was as weird as I was. Noory is .... fine ... but it's not the same.

Happy Mother's Day to all you BellGabber Mothers!

akwilly

#18445
May 14, 2017, 04:46:59 AM
Quote from: Seraphim27 on May 14, 2017, 03:50:52 AM
Please allow me (or skip) this long-ass, self-indulgent, navel-gazing post at this moment in time.

I recently got a pretty decent job with a major wireless service provider. Its current marketing campaign centers around the fact that we stole the "Can you hear me now?" guy ... and that's all I'll say about that. If you watch commercials, I'm sure you'll figure it out.

Anyway, after years of sickeningly stressful jobs in the PR/Marketing industry -- meeting with clients, making sure they're happy and all the "low-hanging fruit" has been grabbed and our "success metrics" have been met ... and all the while, billing and billing and billing by the hour until I met my billing quota -â€" this current gig is exactly the job I thought I always wanted: a low-stress, assembly-line-type job, a corporate writer (drone) in a sea of corporate writers, plugging away at mindless work and, in turn, getting a paycheck that's so excessive, it's guilt-inducing.

Specifically, as a former journalist, I'm now tasked with trailing along behind the technical writers and making their copy relatable to other human beings. I write, I rewrite, I edit, I punctuate. It takes almost zero brain power on my part and I get to use my skills to make another decent writer look extraordinary, which puts an altruistic spin on the whole thing. Meanwhile, I'm one of a large pool of "lifestyle content specialists" and we all telecommute from all over the country. I work from home. I work in pajamas. I vape while I write. If the work gets too tedious, I can toss back a vodka-and-grapefruit juice or catch up on the latest episode of "Better Call Saul" and no one would know. I am hashtag-blessed for the moment.

So here's where I'm going with this: Recently the company offered me a $20K bonus with an oh-so-corporate catch: It's got strings attached. I have to go off-salary and earn it during the hours when I'm not making my actual salary, and I have a window of six weeks to do it. I did the math and I believe I have to work about 19 hours a day, every day, including weekends, if I want that $20K. And hell yes, I want that $20K.

Don't get me wrong: The bonus isn't all or nothing. Every Friday I get a check with a portion of that $20K -- whatever I've earned that week. And that's been glorious. This past Friday, my "extra check" was $2,200. So yeah, sleep is for the weak. I need a new car.

So tonight I'm sitting here at 4 a.m. on a Sunday -- although to me it's still Saturday, as I started clocking these hours around 6 p.m. It's lonely as hell, editing all these documents, tweaking their HTML codes, adjusting fonts and formatting them, here alone in my house in the dead of night.

I have a list of documents from which I'm working. I doggedly plug away at them. And then suddenly I realize the list is changing. Someone out there -- some technical writer -- is ADDING more documents to my folder. Like, right now.

The action in itself isn't out of the ordinary -- the technical writers always add their work to this particular file and my job is to grab it, clean it up and pass it along down the assembly line of words to another file, where someone else will grab my stuff and review it, etc. etc. etc. It's just the TIMING right now that's weird -- this lonely, lonely time in the middle of the night and suddenly I see that another human being is out there, somewhere, working with me.

I want to reach out to her. According to the metadata on the doc, her name is Meredith. I want to boot up our intraoffice messaging system, find her name among the thousands of people in this company and shoot her a message. Because what's her deal? Is she also chasing after a $20K carrot that's being dangled in front of her? Or does she just have a shitload of work to do and she's sick with stress about getting it done? Maybe she came home late from a bar, tipsy, wired and unable to sleep and thought, "Well hell, I guess I'll write some technical documents." Or maybe, like me, she lives alone with a couple of cats and her Saturday nights kind of suck like mine. If she throws herself into her work in the middle of the night, maybe she won't feel like she's the only one in the universe who isn't sleeping in the arms of another human being or out on the town having a blast. At least that's how I deal.

I want to message her: "Meredith! HEY, MEREDITH! I'm here too! You're not alone at 4 a.m.! Who are you? Why are you here? Your writing is good! I'm happy to be editing it!"

But I don't. Because that would be weird. And really, I'm projecting my own shit on poor Meredith, whoever she is. She and her husband probably just got done having hot sex. He went right to sleep. She tossed and turned and finally decided to get up and work. Tomorrow they're going to a Mother's Day brunch. He'll give her flowers. Her kids will give her cute gifts they picked out themselves. So she's working late because she knows she'll be cherished tomorrow (today) and doesn't want work looming over her and spoiling it.

Meanwhile, I'm sitting here with questions like "Are all my Saturday nights going to be like this?" and "Who's going to take care of me when I'm old?"

I went to the liquor store today to get a bottle of rosé and some Bailey's. The cashier handed me a rose. "Happy Mother's Day!" he said. "We're giving complimentary roses to all of our customer-mothers." I didn't want to make it weird and tell him that I'm not a mother and I can't have kids and it breaks my heart every damn day. So yeah, there's a rose in a vase on my bedside table now. I should toss it, but I love flowers. I wonder if Meredith is also single and childless and if people mistake her for a mother every year on this weekend too.

So yeah, kids, welcome to the inside of my head. It was shocking as hell tonight to see another person online working a few minutes ago. In a company with thousands and thousands of people, it looks like we're the only two people who are logged into the company intranet. So, being the "OHMYGAWWWWWD I'M SOOOOO BORED IN THIS JOBBBBBBBB" soul that I am, I couldn't help but wonder: "Who the hell is Meredith and what's her story?"

Unfortunately, I'll never get up the nerve to ask her. We can only imagine though.

If you've gotten this far, thanks for reading. I guess I'd better get back to work. But to make this post relevant, yeah, that's why I always loved Art. No matter how lonely I felt, he was always a voice in the dark ... and he was as weird as I was. Noory is .... fine ... but it's not the same.

Happy Mother's Day to all you BellGabber Mothers!
10/10

Rix Gins

#18446
May 14, 2017, 05:23:02 AM
Quote from: Seraphim27 on May 14, 2017, 03:50:52 AM
Please allow me (or skip) this long-ass, self-indulgent, navel-gazing post at this moment in time.

You are a good writer.  It was fun reading your post.

Walks_At_Night

#18448
May 14, 2017, 09:26:08 AM
Seraphim,

Nice to see there are others trapped in some big ass corporate labyrinth.  It's not so lonely that way.    :P


I hope you get every cent of that bonus. 
Go Up Pages 1 ... 605 606 607 608 609 610 611 612 613 614 615 616 617 618 619 620 621 622 623 624 625 ... 809
Powered by SMFPacks Menu Editor Mod