George Noory Sucks! - The Definitive Compendium

[pyewacket]

He does have the $14.95 Holiday CD.

Thanks for the reminder, GFP. I saw the clip of George singing in Toronto and that was enough! How different could the CD be from the show? I'll pass and make a charitable contribution instead. 

[GeorgieForPresident2216]

Thanks for the reminder, GFP. I saw the clip of George singing in Toronto and that was enough! How different could the CD be from the show? I'll pass and make a charitable contribution instead. 

[Who]

Coast Insiders Club Presents: Coast to Coast AM Etiquette

Always use a landline when calling the show.



For maximum enjoyment, prepare your favorite Coast snacks before the show starts. 

[PB the Deplorable]

... For maximum enjoyment, prepare your favorite Coast snacks before the show starts.

That thing cries out for flavored butter

[Major Ed Damien]

"Professor, could the manger have been a portal with straw around it?  A lot of my listeners bulleeve that the Star of oh little town of Bethlehem could have been a UFO.  I find it fascinating.  Give us your take."

[Major Ed Damien]

"Professor, as a carpenter, did Jesus ever hit his own finger with a hammer?  I have often hit my own finger with a hammer, and then I will say 'Jeeze!'  What would Jesus have said in that event?  He would not have said his own name loudly, would he?  Does that make any sense?"

[norrykilledc2c]

He does have the $14.95 Holiday CD.

Military Vet Charity: "George, when were you planning to donate the proceeds from your Christmas CD?"

George: "Oh snap. I left my checkbook at the studio in Hawaii. I'll send you a check next time I'm out there."

[norrykilledc2c]

Coast to Coast Insiders Myron and Wilma Bumbledorf will be George Noory's in-studio guests this week on Beyond Belief.  Myron and Wilma's names were selected in a random drawing to win an all-expenses paid trip to the George Noory Theater in Denver.  In addition to George Noory, they will have a chance to meet Alex Jones, Richard C. Hoagland and the late Evelyn Paglini.

Guess where Myron's erection is hiding?

[Major Ed Damien]

"Professor, there were the three wise men . . . and then there were The Three Stooges.  Now, as we all know, I don't believe in coincidences.  Could these wise men have reincarnated into the not wise men?"

[narcissist noory]

Military Vet Charity: "George, when were you planning to donate the proceeds from your Christmas CD?"

George: "Oh snap. I left my checkbook at the studio in Hawaii. I'll send you a check next time I'm out there."

Does anyone remember about a year ago when Georgie lost some kind of a bet and wouldn't pay up and the woman called into the show and confronted him on air which resulted in some serious backpedaling..

[NoMoreNoory]

This is a genuine quote, btw


Commenting on the good economic figures: 'This is a great holidays way to kick off 2015 almost"

[NoMoreNoory]

And this:
"Heck, right after Christmas I'm flying back to LA to get ready to get back there."


That one's just too much of a metaphysical conundrum for me.

[Major Ed Damien]

"Professor, tell us about the hysterical Jesus.  I had no idea he had such a sense of humor.  Give us your take on his idea of what funny was back in those days."

[Major Ed Damien]

"Professor, some of my listeners think the star was a spaceship.  Others think a camel was a Bigfoot.  I happen to have my own thoughts on these matters.  What is your take on the paranormal and this man we call 'Jesus'?"

[Major Ed Damien]

From the manger to Detroit hospitals.

Lord, how the sucky have sucked.

[NoMoreNoory]

From the manger to Detroit hospitals.

Lord, how the sucky have sucked.

I'm surprised he doesn't claim a UFO which many people mistook for a star was seen over Detroit on the night he was born, I mean, hybridized by the Nephilim.


This interview is dead already, with no chance of resurrection.

[Major Ed Damien]

"Professor, back when I was investing in a restaurant here in St. Louis, a friend of mine asked me to invest in his cheese shop in Israel.  He wanted to call it Cheeses of Nazareth, but I was afraid of being struck by a boulder of lightening so I didn't do this.  Is cheese still popular in Israel?"

[WOTR]

...How different could the CD be from the show? I'll pass and make a charitable contribution instead. 

I would buy it if the proceeds went to the George Noory RETIREMENT fund...

[Dateline]

Sionara Noory, I can't take this anymore.   It's painful.

[Major Ed Damien]

"Coast-to-Coast AM" is -- without question -- the dumbest, goddamned, fucked-up, ear-sodomizing, son-of-a-bitching piece of shit program ever broadcast since Marconi first attempted a beep.

[norrykilledc2c]

Sionara Noory, I can't take this anymore.   It's painful.

Concur. Unlistenable.

[Major Ed Damien]

Somebody stole his body.

It must have been the Lord.

[nooryisawesome]

Looking at the guest lineup I see this week has and will be utter shit. Connie willis is even making an appearance to make the week smell even shittier.

[Major Ed Damien]

George Noory on the Shroud of Turin:

"Jesus did his 'Star Trek' burst."

[Who]

Charles was crestfallen.  He ran for President of the Coast Insiders Club and lost by two votes.  He vowed to never eat another turkey sandwich as long as he lived. 

[Major Ed Damien]

Somebody, anybody, please wrap George's nose and mouth with the Duct Tape of Turin.

[Robert Ghostwolf's Ghost]

Coast to Coast Insiders Myron and Wilma Bumbledorf will be George Noory's in-studio guests this week on Beyond Belief.  Myron and Wilma's names were selected in a random drawing to win an all-expenses paid trip to the George Noory Theater in Denver.  In addition to George Noory, they will have a chance to meet Alex Jones, Richard C. Hoagland and the late Evelyn Paglini.

While I try not to use strong language on BellGab, I'd really like to know where the fuck PETA was when it really counted.  Those are the saddest kitty faces I've ever seen.  Shame on Penny Marshall and her saggy gentleman friend.

[Dateline]

Connie Willis is the clincher for me.  That is a no listen night.   Why am a sooo unhappy with a show that I used to could not wait to listen to, even with Noory?  That may need to have its own thread. 

[Major Ed Damien]

"Professor, I happen to think it was a Jesus-like miracle that brought me to 'Coast-to-Coast AM.'  Others, the haters, call it the opposite.  Would Jesus have liked me?  Would he have liked what I have said about clowns and Ouija boards?  I find it fascinating to think about these things."

[NoMoreNoory]

George Noory on the Shroud of Turin:

"Jesus did his 'Star Trek' burst."

Caught that! Had me sputtering over the dishwasher.


He also earlier asked about the miracle of turning a barrel of water into wine 'for the masses' demonstrating his ignorance of The Bible (it's a book, so of course he hasn't read it). Jesus turned the water into wine at a wedding party: it was the loaves and fishes trick that was for the masses.


Historical evidence. Maybe start with the idea that Jesus was born in the reign of King Herod when Caesar called a census. It can be one or the other, but not both. Herod was gone by the time of the census. Also, whoever heard of people having to return to the place of their birth for the census? It defeats the object. It's an invention to get Jesus born in Bethlehem to 'fulfill' the Old Testament prophecies. Why did this extraordinary figure merit not a single mention by any of the major historians of the time, such as Josephus and Herodotus. And on and on.


None of this will be discussed by pygmy brain and his guest of course. Waste of radio space.