BellGab.com Archive

Where is pate?  I got in late last night and was going to call to ask how he got his banana bread so fluffy but by that time the inexorable charm of our eminent host had already carried all before it.

"That's classified."

Is pate backmasking himself?

Quote from: SredniVashtar on September 12, 2019, 11:24:02 AM
I understand French, but I pretend not to out of a sense of patriotism. You wouldn't understand, you ahistorical wrongcock. You flaunt your meagre knowledge the same way you flaunt yourself in those seedy Seattle dive bars, trolling for rough sailor trade. The result in both cases is ludicrous and emetic.

As it is my patriotic duty to embody the tenderest adorations of a grateful nation every Fleet Week, you joyless old crank.  If, upon separation, I can impart a few apt lines of Shelley I have at least touched the poor benighted soul with heaven's poetic fire rather than clobbering over the head with dubious scholarship the way you do.  Which is really rather gauche; I am sure you have been turned away from at least a few salons with your brutish airs.

Quote from: SredniVashtar on September 12, 2019, 10:48:08 AM
It sounds like My Pet Goat is rather more your speed. Let me know if there are any words you're struggling with, we don't want that brow of yours getting any more harrowed and wrinkled than it already is. The fact that you can describe one of the great comic masterpieces of the past century as a 'dreary trudge' demonstrates why you're so despised by the better sort. Not to brag, but I can read Cyrillic. You could too, if you spent a little less time on your Uranian misadventures, you low-life peasant!

And yet the most bald-faced French pun escapes you completely, quelle dommage.  All your comic masterpiece proved is that Downton Abbey is a pale rehash of gilded-age tales that have been circulating for decades to persuade the 90% of Englishmen who shoveled coal and wrung out the washing that they somehow participated in something grand.  And anyway, as a bon vivant (that's French for one who lives a good life, in which your tedious penance to what passes for art these days can play no part) I shall have the best revenge.

Quote from: SredniVashtar on September 12, 2019, 10:14:56 AM
Why on earth would I know anything of this epicene willow wand? I was watching the Czech Philharmonic play Shostakovich the other night, and browsed through a modern art gallery earlier in the day. You, on the other hand, must have been sprawled on a couch, in your threadbare bathrobe, picking Cheet-O crumbs out of your navel, claws feverishly grasping the remote as you try and find some ganymede on TV to twitch your jaded loins.

They are gingerbread crumbs, you insufferable sodomite.  I can't read the Cyrillic but the English sticker on the package says "gingerbread with prunes and wine" and it is the most delicious thing I have tasted this year.  And I am reading Groyper's book recommendation which is going down a lot better than that dreary trudge you sent me on that yielded nothing more than a revolting glimpse into your fantasies.

Quote from: WOTR on September 11, 2019, 06:57:58 PM
Thanks KA. I should have known that it was SV's competition on the list of the "most influential people in the UK." 

Of course Shreddie professes not to know him, which strains credibility in addition to being terribly rude.

Quote from: Richard Groyper on September 11, 2019, 08:52:17 PM
Dave Darin just announced he is moving his show to YouTube. let the record show, it was this stream from last night that convinced Dave, there can be no doubt. Facebook is cancer.

praise MV

It is true, I was on facebook for less than 48 hours and my balls fell off.  Glad to see the big guy wants to play.

Quote from: Richard Groyper on September 11, 2019, 02:26:40 PM
yes, i love cock. i can't get enough.

Ad totally unrelated.



Actually I am pretty sure Gunny was talking to TheOne/ZaZa etc. etc. aka GetReady.

Quote from: WOTR on September 10, 2019, 11:28:09 PM
I'll bite. Who expired on a couch in or near Paharump recently?

https://bellgab.com/index.php?action=profile;u=6205

Quote from: albrecht on September 10, 2019, 08:36:38 PM
I'll try to set up some lunches and talk on the phone in traffic, which seems to be the way deals are made these days in Hollywood. Be aware we risk getting it sold, written off at a loss, but then sent to the graveyard of bought screenplays to never be produced. But, maybe, some release at a later date but some quick cash or tax write-off. Of course there is the "couch" option, depending on how far you are willing to go with some personalities in the business. But I want no part of that sordid business.

I can see the business end of things is in good hands; you can depend on me to take care of the rest with a minimum of scruples.

Quote from: albrecht on September 10, 2019, 07:38:20 PM
Do it. Reboots are all the rage and Shakespeare adopted to modern times or different, but similar, circumstances has always been popular. And the parallels almost write themselves- they even used royal terms "King of Late Night Radio" "Kingdom of Nye" etc.

ps: like with some of Malachi Martin books we could have a semi-secret, unofficial, crib-sheet "leaked" so that the 'fictionalized account' could be easier understood as to the actual players involved along with the usual Hollywood lawyer disclaimers indemnifying the main work, author, and investors.

I am depending on you to secure a healthy advance, without which I will not set pen to paper.  I only squander my verses on bellgab.com.

Quote from: albrecht on September 10, 2019, 07:18:40 PM
I might be going out to LA in a few weeks. Has anyone pitched this whole drama? Clearly it would be worthy of at least a HULU series....WKRP and Frasier were hits, so there is precedent for a tv show based on a radio show.  And it almost writes itself, of course names would have to be changed and have the usual Hollywood lawyer disclaimers about not being related to any real event or person, living or deceased.

I was hoping I might be drafted to provide a screenplay in the form of a five-act tragedy, largely in verse, based on Lear, with Karen, Airyn, and Heather in a version of the "Which of you shall we say doth love us most" scene.

Quote from: aldousburbank on September 10, 2019, 03:41:35 PM
Hey K_Dubb, that is accurate!

Thank you for the confirmation.  I would congratulate myself except that I thought it was clear to everyone from Karen's description who she was talking about.

Quote from: Richard Groyper on September 10, 2019, 04:59:23 PM
im not vilifying Art, but he was no saint. i certainly do not conclude Art left his prior families because he was being treated unfairly. the fact is, he bailed and never made an effort to reconcile -  according to his own children.

im sure Art's behavior was, at some level, understandable.

He displayed the same cut-and-run instincts with his show.  I'd argue (as he himself did) that those are the actions of a highly emotional, reactive person rather than a cold and calculating one.

One of my rules, which I assert with all the blithe confidence of the never-married, is that the consequences of any marriage are community property, split 50/50.  It may not be accurate but, as an outsider, it is impossible to know, since the divorced spread lies like the domestic version of atrocity propaganda.  As what used to be euphemistically called "the kind of man in whom women like to confide," it has spared me countless hours of utterly wretched, woebegone commiseration.

Quote from: Richard Groyper on September 10, 2019, 04:22:19 PM
sorry, but no. Art has a documented history of seedy behavior going back decades, his nebulous relationship with Heather Wade makes his lies and motives even more bizarre. if Art was just a guy id agree with you. however, he's not just a guy. his prior actions and life choices prove he was a cold and calculated person while living. am i suppose to believe Art felt bad for some guy with a complaint, then let said gentleman blackmail him off the air and allow said gentleman to dictate how people perceived his professional reputation for the last 2+ years of his life? i don't buy it.

Fine, Art Bell Bad works for you.  I prefer sympathetic characters and try to understand even the ones who aren't.  I bet if you look into his failed marriages and abandoned children there are at least a few shrewish women who thought they could fence the old swinger in and used their kids to trap him, later turning them against their father.

That is not to say his behavior was correct or decent, only that it is, at some level, understandable.

Quote from: Richard Groyper on September 10, 2019, 04:04:38 PM
that's a fine theory, K_Dubb.

so, Art was being blackmailed off the air by someone he was protecting?

to be honest, i think both Art and Karen lied about what happened.

Art was always lying about the gunshot err..firecracker/stalker story from day one, and Karen is lying about the shotgun man to make Art's story credible.

I don't know if I would call it blackmail.  More like dealing with a guy who lived in town and knew where you lived took whatever remaining love Art had for the business end of things and punted it sky high.

Remember the ordeal with Asshat and the check he was owed, which Art had to post a picture of to prove he sent it?  I imagine it was something like that.  Calling that "stalking" is a bit like calling a guy a sexual predator when he asks you for a pic of your feet.

Art Bell, cat lady.

I have to say that, on its literary merits alone, I prefer this version of the stalker narrative to anything I've read previously.  It is almost Solomonic in its refusal to make anyone happy.

Yes, there was a guy with a complaint whose harassment put the nail in Art's career's coffin.  However, the complaint had merit and the glib promoter, whether Art himself or his sales guy, who convinced chucklehead to throw it all in on that abortion of a show, is really at fault though, from his protection of the prime suspect, it would seem Art felt some personal responsibility.  Art's dressed-up version of events partakes of the desert-dweller's paranoia and the faceless darkness to turn it into the stuff of legend.

The Art who emerges is neither the hero sacrificing career for family he wants us to believe nor the scheming manipulator so many on here have denounced.  His motives, though they are complex, can all be guessed at:  fear (though of a rather more defined sort than he let on), disgust, guilt, shame and, ultimately, the determination to cling to his family to the exclusion of all else which, in retrospect, seems wise.

As a story with no heroes, abundant villains, pathos and pride all wrapped up in self-serving myth-making it is, fundamentally, human -- we all do that, if we're honest with ourselves.  It's a story for adults instead of children with their dualist simplicity, and infinitely preferable to the tiresome debate over whether Art lied.  Yes, he did.  Sort of.

The "shotgun" was a roll of posters for a long-thighed knight he was hoping Art would autograph so he could sell them on ebay and recoup a tiny fraction of his losses.

Quote from: Richard Groyper on September 10, 2019, 11:50:58 AM
Art had had every reason to tell the exact same version Karen did.

I disagree.  One reason for telling a different story might be that, in Karen's version, Art would be expected to identify the person, possibly leading to an arrest and testimony.

The conflicting stories make sense if the guy was a known local with a quasi-legitimate beef they thought they could handle and Art was protecting him because he kinda felt guilty and sorry for him because he sold what little possessions he had advertise his movie about a long-thighed knight on Art's show and to hire an asshat to do a lame show on Art's network and who recently expired on a friend's sofa.

Quote from: Chocolate coated jackboot on September 10, 2019, 11:13:21 AM
If it were an isolated a incident it would be understandable. The problem is when you see a repeated pattern of either Senda-esque embellishment if not outright lying

Like an 11yr old (who Art said was at the top of her class) asking "What is dying?"
https://vocaroo.com/i/s1fbNGax399i

It fits comfortably with all his other stories like the UFO and the ouija board -- you'll get no argument from me there.  Why this one in particular is the one where people draw the line, like whoah buddy now you've gone too far, has amused me from the beginning.

Quote from: Walks_At_Night on September 10, 2019, 06:09:39 AM
Stay the way you are. You will go far.................

Haha I am so full of shit.

But there is a larger point here:  now that the only eyewitness to the stalker events is dead, the stories properly become myths, having more in common with, say, religious revelations in the past than the court matter of pettifogging fact-finders.

Since only a fool confidently asserts that which can never be proven, asking whether they are true is perhaps the least-interesting question about them.  The wise man asks, instead, what they mean.

Quote from: WOTR on September 09, 2019, 08:53:16 PM
Perhaps so. But a realistic interpretation would be that Art attracted the nut-cases.

I find your cavalier dismissal of Ms. Jackson's testimony disturbing.  Though any effort to harmonize the accounts founders on the rock of objectivity, there is still valuable information to be gleaned.

Her story about being confronted at the station (the only eyewitness part) by the same guy who later banged on Art's door (an inference) did not figure in Art's narrative, and there is fertile ground for speculation here as to why it may have been omitted.  In contrast with the stories Art made public, the primary difference is that this was a face-to-face encounter with an identifiable person.

If the man in the window (in Karen's retelling) is, indeed, an earlier version, one can sense the operation of that same reluctance to identify a suspect that figured in Art's failure to get a restraining order, among other things, which transformed the stalker from a known fat old white guy to a shadowy ninja easily clearing a 5-foot fence in the dark.

Leaving aside the question of truth for a moment, one can evaluate the stories as myth-making:  Art was always more comfortable in the realm of the mysterious.  His UFO is distant, its occupants unseen and intentions unclear.  His red eyes exist suspended in nothingness.  His ouija board is unbearably frightening but mute.  No 10-foot Pleiadians peddling planetary salvation for him.

In contrast, Karen's threat is concrete, identifiable, and not terribly scary -- if she could get her car around the guy's, through the gate, and close it behind her with the guy still stuck yelling outside, he's awfully slow and bumbly.  This is the sort of guy who (no trespasser he!) might very well go up to Art's door and ring the bell.

Still in the realm of myth, if the man seen in the window is the same as the figure jumping over the fence, one can see how a story with origins in the real world is transformed according to Art's demonstrated personal preference for the nameless unknown.  And loopy, penny-finding Karen is the one with at least a foot in the real world.

Quote from: SredniVashtar on September 09, 2019, 06:32:04 PM
I need footnotes. If she managed to trip you up I heartily applaud the effort. It's only a pity you didn't break your turkey neck during the fall!

That's what happens when you skip the baking thread, man.

Quote from: Roswells, Art on September 09, 2019, 06:18:39 PM
I'm sorry. It's hard to distinguish between an uncomfortable thing someone confided in in an unguarded moment or something someone is happy to post and doesn't care what anyone thinks. I'm sorry if it caused you any embarrassment. There's no reason it should have as far as I'm concerned.

On another note, when people contradict themselves I do like to pull up the contradiction. We're living in a society here, for fucks sake.

Oh Roz there is no need to apologize; it was totally fair.  The urge to pose in full heroic nudity, if only to assure poor Walks that I am, in fact, intact is almost overwhelming, however.

I have certainly relished the effects of your elephantine memory in the past so I was more than due.

Quote from: SredniVashtar on September 09, 2019, 06:03:01 PM
Why do you do it? I could understand if it contained something personal but your deletion decisions seem totally arbitrary.

I would suggest that, given her habit of confronting people with uncomfortable things they confided in an unguarded moment months ago, it's an entirely justified paranoia.

You guys are missing the point.  Nobody is saying Karen was an eyewitness, so a charitable interpretation would have her relaying events as told to her by Art.

It strongly suggests that there are now at least two versions of the story where Art saw a prowler outside the studio and almost shot him before he escaped over the fence -- the closest match, since that's the only time IIRC that Art says he saw the guy.  It's tantalizing to speculate that Karen told an early version Art tried out before he went public with it and that Karen told it plain, never dreaming Art had already contradicted it.

Quote from: VC on September 06, 2019, 07:36:01 PM
Is it possible K_Dubb calls into GabCast and talks with a UK/Brit accent pretending to be SV? That would be quite the LARP'ing feat, but I wouldn't put it past someone pulling a BellGab hoax such as this possibility. Or, what about in reverse? Is SV real and K_Dubb his "not real" alter? K_Dubb never called into a GabCast, so who knows? Bwhahahaha!

The jig is up!

O Scarpia, avanti a Dio!

Quote from: Spookcat on September 06, 2019, 06:14:43 PM
Thoughts on William Blake?

He was a fag.

Quote from: username on September 06, 2019, 03:38:38 PM
I always saw him as a combination of Shakespeare & Hunter S. Thompson.

Oh come on you know in your chat I am a huge dork nobody pays any attention to.

It's only when the British fleet breaks the horizon that I don my laurels and take the lyre down from over the fireplace.  When they retire covered in shame I put my shoulder to the plow like everyone else.