My Ears Are Addicted To Q-Tips

[Camazotz Automat]

Decided it was time for a lengthy, meandering update.

The shrinks (most of them, anyway,) say a good tool for self realization is keeping a journal. Some even recommend a "dream journal."  But I believe dream journals are bullshit - echoes of Freud lost in a cave somewhere, searching for Tom Sawyer's ~Injun Joe cigar statue.~

But most often, an Injun Joe is just an Injun Joe.

And also, how many people are really willing to wake up enough to write in a dream journal just after a nightmare about being in a "devil box" fitted with brass spigots for the two horns? (hot/cold heaven/hell above/below Communion tissue blowing up your nose, that's what two spigots are made of)

In my experience, dream journals often end up being extremely thin. The fatter exceptions oft created by equally fat and frustrated druids in the Quarter who regularly rub elbows with the O.T.O., lamenting the now defunct New Orleans Bahlasti Temple.

I've seen another thread somewhere around here inquiring "why are you on this site?"

It just occurred to me that I AM here because it puts a green mouse‡ on the wireless network, "journaling for better mental health and stability," and all that ent(r)ails.

But in the end, who the fuck knows?

As Bill Keane has so redundantly declared: "Not Me."

Probably be(a)st to just view myself as a catalyst, though that sounds like a cop out.

I'm digressing like a macaw playing with the monocle it just retrieved from the slowly sinking eye socket of his now three day deceased rich and eccentric owner/master/cage liner.

The Mystery of the Mocking Monocle

(the maid returns the following Monday and the bird is rescued ... but that's just the beginning of this hardboiled pulp o rama.  The bird keeps squawking "ZOTZ AUTOMAT! COMMAND PROMPT. LOAD FAILURE. PRETTY BIRDIE! LOAD THE PISTOL. EXECUTE!")

About the Q-tips...

I was a "every fourth day" addict when I opened this topic. 

HUGE progress.

I am down to ear swabbing every SIXTH day. Right on my pretty birdie schedule.

The correlation of my Q-tip expenses lessening is to be expected, but thrilling nonetheless, and the free calendar from disabled veterans is becoming quite the countdown collage. You can get so creative with a little liquid paper.

One day at a time... two ear canals a day...

That's all I got. I'm just up late working on this dumb detective story that I need to somehow submit backward in time to the same editorial slush pond in which Spillane is the big splashing manuscript fish.

Time is out of joint.  So to speak.

Cam out.

‡see The Green Mouse (1910) by Robert W. Chambers, as dedicated to John Corbin. RWC talking about a type of internet in 1910? It would seem so.

(note to self: research possibility that PKD's "little green man" in TOOJ has even a remote link to RWC's green mouse. Or any references of RWC by PKD for that matter. Have Peggy do this. Also ask if she knows where my old dream journals have been stored. They are so easily misplaced, being so thin. Were that I were a fat druid with nothing better to do than document "astral travels" - my thick dream journals would be so much easier to locate.)

(( most recent cotton swabs purchased are generic brand. noticed difference immediately. definitely not top shelf but good for a fix I guess.  like doing a tarot spread with a deck of Old Maid cards.  quirky to say the least, and I wish I could claim I've never performed such a mutant reading:

Now, this Wendy the Witch could represent a stalker or your credit debt. I also notice it is at cross purposes with Oscar the Organ Grinder. Hmmm. Wendy could be your mother-in-law. You know what they say, Love is the Law, Love under Will, but your Mother-in-Law is always pure Hell! hahaha... why aren't you laughing? Hey, you asked me to read your damn cards. It's a package ~deal~, Brenda. And humor is part of said deal.))

[attachimg=1]

[FightTheFuture]

Decided it was time for a lengthy, meandering update.

The shrinks (most of them, anyway,) say a good tool for self realization is keeping a journal. Some even recommend a "dream journal."  But I believe dream journals are bullshit - echoes of Freud lost in a cave somewhere, searching for Tom Sawyer's ~Injun Joe cigar statue.~

But most often, an Injun Joe is just an Injun Joe.

And also, how many people are really willing to wake up enough to write in a dream journal just after a nightmare about being in a "devil box" fitted with brass spigots for the two horns? (hot/cold heaven/hell above/below Communion tissue blowing up your nose, that's what two spigots are made of)

In my experience, dream journals often end up being extremely thin. The fatter exceptions oft created by equally fat and frustrated druids in the Quarter who regularly rub elbows with the O.T.O., lamenting the now defunct New Orleans Bahlasti Temple.

I've seen another thread somewhere around here inquiring "why are you on this site?"

It just occurred to me that I AM here because it puts a green mouse‡ on the wireless network, "journaling for better mental health and stability," and all that ent(r)ails.

But in the end, who the fuck knows?

As Bill Keane has so redundantly declared: "Not Me."

Probably be(a)st to just view myself as a catalyst, though that sounds like a cop out.

I'm digressing like a macaw playing with the monocle it just retrieved from the slowly sinking eye socket of his now three day deceased rich and eccentric owner/master/cage liner.

The Mystery of the Mocking Monocle

(the maid returns the following Monday and the bird is rescued ... but that's just the beginning of this hardboiled pulp o rama.  The bird keeps squawking "ZOTZ AUTOMAT! COMMAND PROMPT. LOAD FAILURE. PRETTY BIRDIE! LOAD THE PISTOL. EXECUTE!")

About the Q-tips...

I was a "every fourth day" addict when I opened this topic. 

HUGE progress.

I am down to ear swabbing every SIXTH day. Right on my pretty birdie schedule.

The correlation of my Q-tip expenses lessening is to be expected, but thrilling nonetheless, and the free calendar from disabled veterans is becoming quite the countdown collage. You can get so creative with a little liquid paper.

One day at a time... two ear canals a day...

That's all I got. I'm just up late working on this dumb detective story that I need to somehow submit backward in time to the same editorial slush pond in which Spillane is the big splashing manuscript fish.

Time is out of joint.  So to speak.

Cam out.

‡see The Green Mouse (1910) by Robert W. Chambers, as dedicated to John Corbin. RWC talking about a type of internet in 1910? It would seem so.

(note to self: research possibility that PKD's "little green man" in TOOJ has even a remote link to RWC's green mouse. Or any references of RWC by PKD for that matter. Have Peggy do this. Also ask if she knows where my old dream journals have been stored. They are so easily misplaced, being so thin. Were that I were a fat druid with nothing better to do than document "astral travels" - my thick dream journals would be so much easier to locate.)

(( most recent cotton swabs purchased are generic brand. noticed difference immediately. definitely not top shelf but good for a fix I guess.  like doing a tarot spread with a deck of Old Maid cards.  quirky to say the least, and I wish I could claim I've never performed such a mutant reading:

Now, this Wendy the Witch could represent a stalker or your credit debt. I also notice it is at cross purposes with Oscar the Organ Grinder. Hmmm. Wendy could be your mother-in-law. You know what they say, Love is the Law, Love under Will, but your Mother-in-Law is always pure Hell! hahaha... why aren't you laughing? Hey, you asked me to read your damn cards. It's a package ~deal~, Brenda. And humor is part of said deal.))

[attachimg=1]

ya Aight?

[onan]

I'm not addicted but you could use the term "affair".

[Camazotz Automat]

ya Aight?

I'm alright for now. However, in November, I graduate to swabbing every seventh day.  That's when I anticipate a breakdown in classical physics.

Agent : Orange may have to talk me off a ledge.

I'm not addicted but you could use the term "affair".

The Q-Tip Affair by I. Schwab Daylee

[MV/Liberace!]

I suffer from the same q-tip addiction.  I'm about to lose my family.

[zeebo]

PA1

...But worse than the cost is the embarrassment. I have a container by the bed to easily collect the "used Qs."

It looks like a deformed skeleton - squashed albino Tinker Toys in a mad scientist's specimen jar....

Cam you know I'm a fan ... But you gotta pull yourself together, man.  This ... this thing ... by your bed - it must be stopped before it becomes sentient.

[popple]

At least you'll never end up with this problem

http://youtu.be/nTPogv57GIo

[GeorgieForPresident2216]

At least you'll never end up with this problem

http://youtu.be/nTPogv57GIo

Sweet!  I feel richer for having viewed that.

[WOTR]

Sweet!  I feel richer for having viewed that.

I just want to say that I hate you all.  I started with that video that brought me back to cysts (I spent far too long one night watching cysts.)  Youtube suddenly realized that I have both an ear and a cyst fettish and gave me this.  Thanks.
Manifesting Ear Problems Massive Ear Cyst

Also, one interesting family reunion... You all are welcome.
Cyst of the century

[popple]

Sometimes having a blockage of wax might not be such a bad thing.

http://youtu.be/1EPPnxwKuFM

THAT BACK CYST IS UNREAL!!!! 

[eyenoeyeno]

This topic is getting nastier? Sheesh

[pate]

No one wants to think of the implications...

I too enjoy a bit of the swirl-around in the ear after shower with the q-tip...

And I think we all have a supply in the salle-de-bain, perhaps fifty or less, do they sell them in packs of ten?  An interesting question WSHTF, I guess...

Improvise with a stick o' pine?  or which?  or just let the wax build up!  How is one to survive!?!

I suppose I could use the GF's tampon, just shred it up a bit and twist, but still!  How did the pre-cursor to modern man deal with this?  Or he just let it all dry up in there until it became a nugget that fell out of his ear canal into his ready hand as a nugget of sustenance it's like eating a booger really, so gross? or just natural?

Water in my ear people!  I don't have a car key or anything else (twig) to scratch the itch, or gross dislodge the waxball that we all want to taste but most just discard...  Not that I do anything other than discard the awful...

I have said too much

[Camazotz Automat]

emphasis mine:

I suppose I could use the GF's tampon, just shred it up a bit and twist, but still!  How did the pre-cursor to modern man deal with this? 

hahahahahahahahahaha

But still!

This topic is getting nastier? Sheesh

Admittedly, the topic has ventured into new territory.

But the Swab Song Remains the Same.

There is nothing quite like the ~presence~ of a dispenser of virgin QTs... which, upon departure from their cotton suspension ark, are baptized in a 50/50 ratio of water and hydrogen peroxide before going to God's ear.

The resultant physical graffiti covered swab would rival a train rolling all night long that had Mene, Mene, Tekel, Upharsin spray painted in gold on each of its twenty-one cars.

[attachimg=1]

[pate]

Wax on an old question...

I apologize...

Earworms are difficult to remove...

Orbital - Kein Trink Wasser

Anyhow...

I take a small sip of water and compose myself...

[eyenoeyeno]

I'll admit I love that freshly scratched feeling of the ears, and do the peroxide junk when I feel am infection coming on.  Only once did I have a blockage which, to my dismay, worked itself out down my nasal cavities into a nasty hard loogie about the size of a peanut with extra slime all around it.  I could barf remembering it.  Of course I had to hawk it up in front of my boss and coworkers.   Yum!

[Camazotz Automat]

Bought a pack today.

The cotton monkeys are on my back. Don't judge me.

random thought: Jimmy Church has been talking so much brotherly love about me that you'd think we're swabbing the same ear canal.

[GeorgieForPresident2216]

I don't think there is anything wrong with a daily post-shower swab and tweezing.  Actually, a pre-shower tweezing.  The hairs are stiffer then.

[Camazotz Automat]

Pretty much living on the streets these days, but I don't think I've hit rock bottom just yet.

I'll do almost anything for a box of Q-Tips.

Including stealing, killing, and giving false information to the police as their CI.

You just don't know what it's like.

Maybe Scientology can help. Maybe "getting clear" also refers to ear canals.

I'm so screwed.


signed
Q-Tip Automat

[WOTR]

I'll do almost anything for a box of Q-Tips.

Including stealing, killing, and giving false information to the police as their CI.

...I'm so screwed.
Q-Tip Automat

Q-T;

You must not be so hard on yourself.  The deck is stacked against us by the interests of big-cotton.  They have the clout in congress to block laws that would hurt their business model.  When Johnson and Johnson bought the rights to the brand name, they guaranteed that this dangerous product would be found in every drug store, box store and shopping mall in America.  They have the influence with major retailers to push their agenda.

Gone are the days when a little cotton on the end of a stick was sold to the public.  They have increased the cotton on each Q-Tip annually (and generally undetected.)  What chance does the public have against such nefarious behavior?  I have read experts who now declare that it takes less than 10 Q-Tips to hook the average consumer.

The costs to society are mounting.  Absentee fathers, petty theft, disability claims... It is getting to be too much.  Addiction counselling is the only way to get this monkey off your back.  I know that George has had on "experts" before selling a quick cure- but they are just snake oil salesmen and dangerous quacks. 

Please attend a detox before it is too late.

[Humilia Lepus Foramen]

In one of his older shows, Art had great things to say about using an ear candle to get all that junk out.  I'm not too comfortable with the idea of a flame so close to my head, plus I've heard it's not actually that effective.  It's hydrogen peroxide for me, thank you very much.

[eyenoeyeno]

Pretty much living on the streets these days, but I don't think I've hit rock bottom just yet.

I'll do almost anything for a box of Q-Tips.

Including stealing, killing, and giving false information to the police as their CI.

You just don't know what it's like.

Maybe Scientology can help. Maybe "getting clear" also refers to ear canals.

I'm so screwed.


signed
Q-Tip Automat

I used to lift those little travel  qtip containers when I was shelterally challenged.   Don't feel bad dude.  The qtip is an essential part of being.

The peroxide is quite a nice strange feeling though, but you still need a qtip to wipe out after.

I'll just that's what she said myself on that one

[Camazotz Automat]

The peroxide is quite a nice strange feeling though, but you still need a qtip to wipe out after.

I'll just that's what she said myself on that one

So you said.

[WOTR]

While looking at my bad addiction thread, I noticed a GIF to post in your addiction thread...  Don't worry- I didn't "slip"- I didn't post.

[twiki]

I would officially endorse this thread except that they are called cotton buds in the Queen's English.

[cosmic hobo]

I used to be addicted to using these until I got an ear infection.

[Camazotz Automat]

Given today's date, I'm having fantasies about giant Q-Tips swabbing the ears of the Statue of Liberty. And it's giving me that old urge again.

Sent several texts to my sponsor. She's not responding.

So I am going to indulge.

Not my fault.

[WOTR]

Given today's date, I'm having fantasies about giant Q-Tips swabbing the ears of the Statue of Liberty. And it's giving me that old urge again.

Sent several texts to my sponsor. She's not responding.

So I am going to indulge.

Not my fault.

I am so sorry to have been absent from this thread.  I regret not being here to lend you the support that you have always lent me.  C A M- please come back to us... if this demon should get it's claws into you again I will never forgive myself for my selfish absence.


Even as a Canadian, I have found June through July 4th to be the hardest time of the year with photographs and videos of the majestic lady splashed across my newspapers and television set.  I imagine being the one to clean her, to swab her ears...


Yes, swab her ears with a giant spun golden cloth of cotton.  Plunging the soft, moist, delicate ball deep into her ear canal.  I would fondle and caress her while ever so gently rubbing and polishing.  Then pull it out, twirl it around and plunge back in.  Over and over, in and out, round and round.  I imagine it being a frenzy of swabbing activity...


Excuse me... I'll be back in a moment...

[Camazotz Automat]

I am so sorry to have been absent from this thread.  I regret not being here to lend you the support that you have always lent me.  C A M- please come back to us... if this demon should get it's claws into you again I will never forgive myself for my selfish absence.


Even as a Canadian, I have found June through July 4th to be the hardest time of the year with photographs and videos of the majestic lady splashed across my newspapers and television set.  I imagine being the one to clean her, to swab her ears...


Yes, swab her ears with a giant spun golden cloth of cotton.  Plunging the soft, moist, delicate ball deep into her ear canal.  I would fondle and caress her while ever so gently rubbing and polishing.  Then pull it out, twirl it around and plunge back in.  Over and over, in and out, round and round.  I imagine it being a frenzy of swabbing activity...


Excuse me... I'll be back in a moment...

In this regard, The Statue of Liberty has been a real bitch this year, pardon my French.

First was the June 17 celebration of the 1885 arrival of "there once was a lady from France." I don't think they bring up the arrival date every year, but they sure as hell pushed it this year. Then July 4th came like clockwork.

The system is designed to create addicts, enable existing addicts, and cause unnatural thoughts about the ear canals of statues everywhere.

[zeebo]

I once scoffed at this thread, feeling superior in my state of complete self-control.  But I've recently come to share a burden similar to Cam's.  ...  My lips are addicted to lip balm.   

It began with an occasional, innocent swipe of Chapstick.  Then I experimented with several Blistex variants.  But now I've escalated to multiple daily applications of high-grade Burt's Bees soothing salve. 

I find myself getting jittery if that little metal disc with it's blissful contents isn't nearby.  I've taken to having several spread around the house so they're never out of reach should I need an instant fix.

I need to find a way to manage this thing.

[ItsOver]

I once scoffed at this thread, feeling superior in my state of complete self-control.  But I've recently come to share a burden similar to Cam's.  ...  My lips are addicted to lip balm.   

It began with an occasional, innocent swipe of Chapstick.  Then I experimented with several Blistex variants.  But now I've escalated to multiple daily applications of high-grade Burt's Bees soothing salve. 

I find myself getting jittery if that little metal disc with it's blissful contents isn't nearby.  I've taken to having several spread around the house so they're never out of reach should I need an instant fix.

I need to find a way to manage this thing.

No addiction here, but some kind of lip balm is a necessity when it gets cold and dry, unless I want perpetually irritated lips.  Kind of embarrassing, though, when I finally noticed the generic crap I was using also had a red pigment in it.  I wondered why I was getting winks from weird looking guys who resembled MV's avatars.